tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post5351851081199646882..comments2024-01-28T22:16:42.451-08:00Comments on Dear Little Auntie: My Sister's Being Forced to Marry....Little Auntiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16279010843700950235noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-30932909169573982812013-09-22T04:37:20.634-07:002013-09-22T04:37:20.634-07:00Thank you very much sisters for all your support. ...Thank you very much sisters for all your support. I feel very much uplifted. Alhamdulillah! May Allah bless you all. Love you all sisters for the sake of ALLAH. :)Aminahhttp://phat-chit.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-3637938593400541752013-09-20T02:40:43.295-07:002013-09-20T02:40:43.295-07:00This counsellor is very experienced and excellent ...This counsellor is very experienced and excellent at solving problems mA. <br />http://www.amanahcounselling.com/#!premarital/c2271<br />Please contact her. She is away for two weeks but I’m sure she’ll be happy to help as soon as she returns. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-67612169409007854152013-09-18T04:48:07.773-07:002013-09-18T04:48:07.773-07:00http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq_McdB3fQM
Sadly ...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq_McdB3fQM<br /><br />Sadly this is all too common. :( Sister,I pray that you get through this inshallah. It's not fair for you. seekingpatiencenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-19834754090741775422013-09-17T23:34:27.608-07:002013-09-17T23:34:27.608-07:00Alhamdulillah. Thank you for responding. I am badl...Alhamdulillah. Thank you for responding. I am badly in need of sincere and un-biased people to talk to. <br /><br />I've read the article. My parents adamantly believes that the guy is the right one for me because they know his parents well. His father and my father are 2nd cousins. and his parents have impeccable reputation where being amiable is concerned. Despite showing the evidences I found thru his FB and relaying the testimonials his friends made about him they still refuse to break the engagement. And because my proof are not exactly enough to break it. My 'rents, granny and the rest of the clan think he has the potential to change. coz this kind of alliance and apparently my violent reactions are not new to them. But I dare not depend my future on mere potentials. Is that too much to ask? or am I wrong to think so? Ya Allah..talking about my impending doom is always hard for me. If only I could be numb to all this pain. <br /><br />my parents are also under too much emotional blackmail. They were told that if they dare break it, they would be the sole cause of the breakage of the bond within our clan. People will not look kindly upon my parents. they were also told that the older brother of the guy was forced to put a stop to his own engagement because they offered a lower amount of dowry to that girl (and the girl and her family knew about it) because their family chose to concentrate their resource for the dowry they gave my father. <br /><br />so the 'kindness' his family has shown upon my parents weighs too much in their conscience. :(<br /><br />Aminahhttp://phat-chit.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-73080011184026496742013-09-17T05:17:31.964-07:002013-09-17T05:17:31.964-07:00Meaning, your father would not have sinned if he w...Meaning, your father would not have sinned if he were to inform them that he cannot continue with the matter>>><br /><br />Just think some more, hunny :) Please.<br /><br />Love you!Little Auntiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16279010843700950235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-73622501787473530922013-09-17T05:14:02.085-07:002013-09-17T05:14:02.085-07:00wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo,...wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo,<br />Oh sister, I just feel terrible for you. I can't imagine what kind of situation you are in- feeling like you are either saving your parents or saving yourself- and it's so noble that you would choose to save your 'parents'...<br />But hunny, it is NOT a sin to break off an engagement if you have a Shariah reason:<br />http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=articles&id=175865<br /><br />It is only if you have no Sharirah reason to 'break off an engagement', is it considered that you have broken a promise. <br /><br />But the reality is that the Sharia commands us to marry those who are righteous and pious...and this person does not fulfill what Islam says!Little Auntiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16279010843700950235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-82681082728211516212013-09-16T07:32:38.809-07:002013-09-16T07:32:38.809-07:00P.S. I meant they have *no certain fondness for th...P.S. I meant they have *no certain fondness for the guy. My father dont even want to be in the guy's presence whenever the guy comes to the house to visit. How my father hates seeing me cry my eyes out. Its just that he already agreed and he wants to honor his words or risk gaining ALLAH's wrath if he doesn't deliver his side of the agreement. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-76901127110224743792013-09-16T07:28:29.680-07:002013-09-16T07:28:29.680-07:00Assalamu Alaikum. Hi, I'm Aminah. I was that s...Assalamu Alaikum. Hi, I'm Aminah. I was that sister being forced to marry. I appreciate what my little sister did. I'm grateful for the insightful reply and comments. Its true I don't want to marry that person. It so happen that my father already gave his consent and accepted the dowry, and they have also set the date. When they realized the gravity of my aversion to this planned alliance and its not only rebellious side of my youth talking, these things i mentioned have been cemented. My parents cried a river when the time came that my hostility was near boiling point and confronted me with how they realized they were wrong to be forced into agreeing to this and they gave me the choice between being selfish and breaking up the wedding or try my parents save-face. I was appalled by the choice they were giving me. Its like being given a choice between saving yourself or your parents. While I looked upon their sobbing faces, I reluctantly agreed to what they wanted all the while trying to push down the bile that's threatening to come out. I have never seen my parents cry like that in my entire 21 years of existence. they told me how they have to certain fondness with the guy. its just that my father wants to avoid the sin of breaking an agreement between muslims at my expense. I realized the gravity of all this and I try to forget everything while they prepare for the wedding. My parents expressed how heartbroken they will be if I choose to runaway. I'm afraid to be the cause of their high blood. They have hypertension and I fear what might happen. so, i get on everyday praying that my parents be reminded of the right thing to do...*sigh*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-29071251692550538512013-09-13T04:11:03.579-07:002013-09-13T04:11:03.579-07:00Salaams
I agree with Little Auntie. After reading ...Salaams<br />I agree with Little Auntie. After reading the post I feel appalled and really concerned for the sister getting married. She needs to believe in herself and do whatever it takes for her to not go ahead with the marriage if she is certain she doesn’t want to marry him. <br />I realise how influential some relatives can be in many of our lives but we have to draw a line somewhere! Yes, it is respectful to please your grandmother and obey her commands but not when they go against Allah’s will and Allah has willed that BOTH party’s consent is required for a marriage to be consummated. <br />If this sister thinks that she will easily be able to escape this marriage by getting a divorce ASAP, I think that’s a very naïve approach to solving this problem. If your grandmother is being SO pushy and fussy right now, what makes you think she will let the shame of a divorced grand-daughter be put upon her? She will try her best to not let this divorce happen and what if the guy is going to be totally against the divorce as well? How can this sister be sure that she will be able to get a divorce ASAP? She can’t! So many problems arise when people consider divorce. Her in-laws will be distraught and angry at the sister for not being honest about her feelings from the start. It makes it harder for both guy and girl to re-marry (much harder for the girl in most instances). If she will go back to living with her parents maybe they will be unhappy with her as well and won’t take her back. Either way, divorce is a MISERABLE thing and should be used as a LAST resort IN a marriage, it shouldn’t be considered before a marriage!<br />Perhaps the grandmother thinks that once this guy is married he will become a better person and will sort himself out. Maybe she is right? But she can definitely be wrong and it would truly be a NIGHTMARE for anyone to be married to a person they almost hate and who doesn’t act in accordance to Islam. Why would you allow that? The sister should contact the guy and be very clear about her feelings and request him to tell his parents to break it all of as well. <br />Lots of duas, J xxx :(<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458157138768641619.post-74499681059088519042013-09-12T03:38:15.490-07:002013-09-12T03:38:15.490-07:00Assalaamu alaykum. I agree to Little Auntie.
A hu...Assalaamu alaykum. I agree to Little Auntie.<br /><br />A husband is a guardian/leader of a wife. For me, after my marriage, I tend to meet whom my husband meets, tend to go where my husband goes, tend to do acts of worship he does(like praying witr, certain dhikr..). I strongly believe a husband should be the one who can be her model. <br /><br />I pray for her. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com