Does He Hate Me?

"Sister, I have been through so much lately. I cannot even describe to you what has happened but I have spent years in pain and struggling. I have tried to be patient and accept it but I sometimes wonder why this is all happening. When will it ALL stop? I really hate to say this but I need help and I am hoping you will be able to give it to me- it seems almost unfair that Allah would do this to me.

My mother has also been through so much. Now she is sick and I am completely lost.

I’m just left with this one question.

Is it a punishment? Is Allah unhappy with me and my family?

Dear my darling sister,

You truly strummed my heartstrings with your message and you sound like you've been patient for a long time despite the trials you've been faced with. For this, sis, you have my complete and utter respect - and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

It's no wonder you feel like this - it sounds like you're having some tough times, and you've been patient throughout. But honey, know what?

What you have written actually reminds me of one of the greatest Companions of Prophet Mohammed sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salaam. Have you heard the story of the family of Yassir?

This was a very special family. The two parents and their son, Ammar, all converted to Islam. They were in fact the very first FAMILY to accept Islam. Unfortunately, the Meccans were furious when the family converted. They set out to torture them.

(I’m copy pasting the next part-)

Abu Jahal gathered the young people together to do something about this outrage. They plundered Yasir's house, set fire to all their goods, and chained the whole family up. They were taken outside of Mecca to where slaves were punished and were beaten (the two parents were still slaves). They were stretched across the burning sun of the desert, and heavy blocks of stone were put on top of them. Their howls of pain could be heard in Mecca.

It was sooooooooooo terrible. Can you imagine it? And these were the Companions of the Prophet! The best people, Radiya Allah Anhum.

So what was the answer the Prophet gave them? What were his words to them? He said:

"Family of Yasir, be patient, for your destination is paradise," (Sahih al-Tirmidhi, v5, p233)

Yes, sister! The same is true for you.

Be patient, sister, for your destination is paradise…

The truth is, you were never meant to stay in this temporary world. You are meant for eternal bliss. This world is full of pain and misery and yes, you have been through a lot….but again, this is not your final destination.

In fact, think of all the Prophets and what they went through. Think of Prophet Mohammed. He was born an orphan. His boy children died. He was ridiculed and mocked, sometimes, by his own relatives (like his uncle Abu Lahab). And what about the year of Grief? Remember when in the same year, Khadija, his beloved wife, and his uncle died? How about when he went to Taif? He went through so much. He was the best of people and yet he had so many trials…Why?

Because his destination was the highest part of jannah!

So just keep trying and trying and trying to be patient. And, honey I don't know if you saw the Hadith of the Week on the blog a while ago, but it was, 'If Allah loves someone, he makes them go through trials'. I don't know about you, but I sure do think Allah loves you A LOT! You seem to be one amazing and strong girl - and I can only pray to be as strong as you, sis.

And, I’m sure, you've probably heard it before, but I'm still going to mention is again because I feel it's that amazing. It's simple but sums everything up. Gives all the answers. It's in the Qur'an. 'With every hardship, there is relief, with every hardship there is relief'.

Think about these words carefully sister...

Allah is telling you something. Allah is communicating with you and telling you that relief COMES WITH EVERY HARDSHIP. I repeat, EVERY hardship. Be it little or a lot, relief is there with the hardship. Allah is there.

I also want to point out something really important. We usually think that this verse means that ‘after’ hardship, there will come ease. But look. The verse clearly says that “WITH” hardship comes ease. You know why?

Because while we're going through hardships, we're being granted forgiveness! The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said:

“Whatever befalls a Muslim of exhaustion, illness, worry, grief, nuisance or trouble, even though it may be no more than a prick of a thorn, earns him forgiveness by Allah of some of his sins.

You see! These hardships are placed for us to raise our ranks, erase our sins, and test the strength of our faith. These hardships are placed to purify us and bring us closer to Allah. Our hardships are our tickets to paradise!

Not only that, but Sa'd (Radiya Allah anhoo) reported that the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: " The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best, then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his deen (faith). If his deen is firm his affliction is hard, and if his deen is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins. " [Ahmad, Tirmithee ]

Let me remind of something else you probably already know. But a reminder is never wasted...

You are never alone.

It means Allah is with you. It means you don't have to ever face anything alone. It means you won't ever be isolated across a blasted heath of misfortune. Allah loves you and Allah is with you.

ALLAH LOVES YOU AND ALLAH IS WITH YOU.

What more do you need? (: The Creator of EVERYTHING, seen and unseen. The Sustainer, The Restorer, The Most-Merciful and Most Forgiving. The Most Powerful!

Continue to persevere in patience. Hold on and always remember Allah. 

'Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest'. 

Only with Allah and only in holding onto your faith will you find rest and peace.

And once again. Back to your last question. Honey, Allah LOVES you. He is giving you trials so that you can overcome them, and He will never burden you with a burden too tall.

NEVER.

And I want you to realize something. If we look at the Qur’an, we see that people who were given ‘the stuff that we think is good’ were mostly NOT good people. Yeah, they were people Allah didn’t like.

So when they forgot that by which they had been reminded, We opened to them the doors of every [good] thing until, when they rejoiced in that which they were given, We seized them suddenly, and they were [then] in despair (6: 44)

 Indeed, Qarun was from the people of Moses, but he tyrannized them. And We gave him of treasures whose keys would burden a band of strong men; thereupon his people said to him, "Do not exult. Indeed, Allah does not like the exultant. (76) (Chapter 28)

You know why He gives to the people who are bad and delays giving right away to the people who are good? The answer is in this hadith:

“If a servant who is favored by Allah supplicates, Allah says to Gabriel: grant his request but delay it, for I like to hear his voice more and more but if someone, in disfavor with Allah, supplicates, Allah says to Gabriel: O Gabriel! Grant the request of My servant with haste, for I don’t like to hear his voice.”

He loves your voice. He wants to hear YOUR voice asking Him. He wants you to turn back to Him. He wants you to be in jannah.He doesn’t want you to forget Him and get sidetracked by this dunya. He loves you.

So rejoice in that knowledge and turn to Him. :) And smile.

P.S. Just in case it wasn't totally clear from this post: Realize that what we perceive to be ‘good’ may not be ‘good at all,” and what we think may be ‘bad’, may not be bad at all. And that’s why whatever Allah does is perfectly Fair. He knows what’s best for each and every one of us. I know you might think “why is my mother sick”, but the reality is that maybe Allah let that happen to her to ensure and guarantee her place in Jannah with the most noble of the Companions and Prophets.


P.S.s. And a special gift for you: He who has no one...


Readers also please add the verses and hadiths that comfort you. :)

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Kisses and Hugs...

Is it ever okay to kiss a guy before marriage?
Can’t wait.

Dear Can’t Wait!

So you can’t wait, huh? Well, before I answer the question, how about we imagine this scenario. You can’t help yourself and you kiss a person of the opposite gender. Your father walks in on that kiss. And your mother walks in behind him. To make things even more awkward, your Islamic teacher/ imam at the mosque walks in after them to find you still in a “cozy” embrace. Would you be able to look them in the eye? Honestly, can you imagine how disappointed your parents would be? How embarrassed would you be?

You see, deep down inside you know the answer to this question.

But I’ll help you out and say….

It’s a big, fat, bold, underlined,

No, no, no, no.

Honey, as we said, in the prom question, we’re not only told not to do ‘sin’, but not to even approach sins….

“Say, "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities - what is apparent of them and what is concealed…(Al Anam 6:151)”

Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala also specifically says:

And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way. (17: 32)

Kisses would definitely qualify as approaching unlawful sexual intercourse. Think about it. If you think NOW that you can’t control yourself from kissing him, how are you to guarantee that if you do kiss him, you won’t be able to control yourself from other things?

That’s exactly the reason why in the first place, Islam places great emphasis on keeping away such temptation. We’re told to lower our gazes:

- Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do. (An-Nur 24:30)

- The Messenger of Allaah (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: “O Ali, do not follow a glance with another, for you will be forgiven for the first, but not for the second.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2701; see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7953)

We’re supposed to dress very modestly. Think about our hijab.

We’re supposed to not ‘mix freely’. Look at how even at the masjid, we shouldn’t sit right next to each other.
Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

We're not supposed to be alone with non-mahrams.

And we’re supposed to ‘GUARD’ our chastity.

That’s why I want you to stop thinking “so negatively”. When you think “I can’t do this”, you’re giving yourself excuses/ license to do it. BUT if you start thinking “Yes, I can do this,” you’ll be able to think much more clearly of ways to avoid falling into temptation. OK?

Yeah, right, like I’m going to leave you all alone, like that.

No way! Of course, I’ll think of ways with you.

Number 1- Do NOT belittle a sin. Remember who it is that you are sinning against.


Acknowledge and realize that you are fully responsible for your actions. For you to 'act upon any feelings' and you're not married is not o.k. 

And the record [of deeds] will be placed [open], and you will see the criminals fearful of that within it, and they will say, "Oh, woe to us! What is this book that leaves nothing small or great except that it has enumerated it?" And they will find what they did present [before them]. And your Lord does injustice to no one. (18: 49)

Our books will contain even ‘tiny’ sins…A lot of ‘tiny’ sins may just tip the scale.

In fact, you should take heed from the story of Baseera.

Who is Baseera?

Honestly, I consider this story one of the most horror stories I have ever read….

“ There was a man who lived amongst the children of Israel named Barseesa. His worship and devotion to Allah was so great that we call him ‘aabid bani Isra’eel’: the great worshipper from the Children of Israel.”
…..
So Barseesa changed his mind and took responsibility for the sister while the three brothers left…..

Read more: here

It is absolutely terrifying. This is the story of how Shaitan didn’t want Baseera to know how bad one sin is….and how, Baseera ended up destroying himself.

Shaitan is doing the same thing to you, my darling sister. He’s trying to justify that ‘sin’ to you…he’s trying to make it look appealing. Don't listen to him!

Number 2- End the Relationship


If you can’t get married, yet (or sign the marriage contract at least and not necessarily move in), I know that this is going to sound harsh, but habibti, it needs to end.

Ask yourself- where are you going with this relationship?

Do you realize that you may be setting yourself up for a huge, possible heartbreak? The reality is that you are cultivating a relationship that isn’t following Allah’s commands; do you really think He is going to bless it?

In fact, you could be day dreaming about who will actually be some other girls’ future hubby.

So you really need to say goodbye.

You should do it, not only so that YOU walk away with a chance of jannah, but so he does, too!

How? Well, I think you should JUST TELL him (preferably in a message or email), because at the end of the day, this is a chance for him, to repent, too.

So this is what I would suggest:

Dear ___________,
 I've been reading more about Islam and I'm no longer comfortable being in what I can only now recognize is not an entirely halal relationship. Allah has given me (and you) so much. I have so much to be thankful for and I don't want to risk making Him angry by doing something He has forbidden. That's why I am saying- 'Thank you but goodbye".
I hope you understand that this is really not personal. If you truly care about me, then you'll support this decision. Let's not stand in front of each other's paths to jannah or to Allah's pleasure.

I'm pretty sure that I may want to 'give' in, so I'm going to delete your number and email. If you could do the same for me, I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you so much,

You also need to get rid of his number, e-mail, facebook. Avoid calling or messaging him..that sorta thing.

Also, get rid of any gifts, delet any sweet messages, etc. You can print them out and then bury them. You don't want to carry around memories/ things that may jeopardize your future marriage, inshaAllah.


Number 3- Get busy
Be productive. Think of a different goal (rather than kissing him). What is it that you want to accomplish? You could also do something like volunteering at some charity organization. Kick-start a halaqah at the mosque. Start a blog? I can tell you from my experience, it can really keep you busy, LOL.

Number 4-Start Fasting
Yes! Fast! It’s a shield for one's chastity.

Number 5- Avoid ‘lovey-dovey’ [romance] movies/shows
because they are bound to get you to start thinking about doing haraam again.

Number 6- Find someone more worthy of your love.
Allah. Learn more about Him! Who is HE?
Start listening to more Islamic lectures and that kinda thing. Check out the Auntie Recommended links. Read at least one page of the Qur’an every day! Get some more religious friends. Go to the masjid. Check out forums.

Pray, pray, pray!!

InshaAllah, you can do this. It may be a little tough, but stay strong. I want you to remember the hadith about sacrifice. Anything you give up for Allah's sake, He'll give you something better! Remember to take this opportunity and talk to Allah. Just sit alone in your room and tell Him how you feel about everything. Any day that you miss your that guy- just tell Allah. Tell Him that you gave that guy up for HIM. Ask Allah to keep you steadfast and ask Him to give you something greater =)

May you be from these:

Certainly will the believers have succeeded: (1)…. And they who are observant of zakah (4) And they who guard their private parts (5) Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed - (6)…. Those are the inheritors (10) Who will inherit al-Firdaus. They will abide therein eternally. (11)

P.S. There's an old answer to called "There's this guy"...Check it out.

P.s.s. More than a Friend..by Dreamer on I got it Covered

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Oh, brother

"Assalamualaykum sisters..
I've got something to share and maybe need some advice or opinion..inshaAllah=)
I have a brother, a younger brother..
Since he is the only brother i have, my expectation towards him is a little bit high. I don't expect him to be a huffaz or etc..but i do want him to learn about responsibility towards religion, family or also his obligation as a muslim. Why i'm saying this? my brother seems don't take seriously about his life which includes studies.he spends a lot on games, computer, rather on his studies or even about religion! what makes me sad is, he's comes from religious school so i expect him to know better than me. but eventually, he's not. His world is only about games and fun.Since he is already 18, i do hope that he can be our 'backbone' of the family and can be relied on if anything happen..
my question is. do u've any suggestion on how i can deal with him? I've tried to speak to him but it doesn't give any effect.."

wa'alkyum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo!

Dearest sis,


You remind me of ME! HEHEHE! You sound a lot like a very concerned older sis, which is really nice to see--unless of course, you're the 'object of concern'. As my brother has pointed out to me numerous times (he's 14), though," if you push me too hard, you're going to drive me away from religion."

Here's the thing. Let's take a look at things from your bro's perspective. Your bro already goes to an Islamic school. He already learns about it. Just like ANY of us, when we're done with school, we want to go home and relax. So he plays video games...

He's really not alone. I'm quoting Muhammed al Shareef:

Ok, so the background here is that our boys, as much as we love to diss them at our lectures and they say nothing ... we see that they are:

a. not turning up in large numbers for Islamic events.
b. Muslim sisters having trouble finding "mature" brothers suitable for marriage
c. Their leadership is flimsy and weak, if they even step up to be a leader
d. they are wasting their youth and lives with games and chatting and seclusion
http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=38921

See. It's a global phenomenon!

So what do we do?

Well, as our mantra has been from the beginning of this blog, don't pressure him. Show him some funny Islamic videos. Ask him some interesting questions. And when you ask him, say it like you want to learn from him and not like you're teaching him or quizzing him. How about YOU watching islamic videos/lectures when he's around?

Also, are there any good Muslim brothers that he's friends with? How about telling your bro to arrange a 'basket-ball/ soccer/ cricket' game near the masjid, and then having a short Islamic talk? Each week one of the Muslim teen brothers gives a small talk on a topic he's interested in?

If he won't be interested in that, how about forums? You can look up a very 'hot/hot/hot* or interesting topic on a forum and then either show it to him or e-mail it to him.Maybe he'll join one *shrugs*. Look for some 'manly lectures', lol...:)

What else? Well, one thing I remember my Qura'n teacher telling me is that you really need to compliment your bro when he does something 'good'. Even simple things. "Wow, you read that surah beautifully." "Thanks, you're such a big help around here." You can even joke with him like, "Soon, we'll be asking for your autograph". Let him feel important! You see, there's a big difference between making someone feel 'responsible' and making someone 'want to be responsible', you know what I'm saying? One will view it as a burden; the other will view it as an honor. 

You need to also try to share some of his interests. What does he care about? Besides video games, LOL. You see, you cannot expect him to turn into you or even share your dream of him. He is his own person. You need to dream WITH him. Who is he? What's he interested in? Take some fun personality quizzes together, like 'what's your hidden talent", the shape test, etc. Islam doesn't only need religious scholars. We need 'religious graphic designers, writers, teachers, doctors, etc." Everything. Let him know that whatever he's talented in/great at/ we can use :)

And truly BELIEVE in your bro. NO matter what state he is in now, that doesn't determine his future/ or what his end will be. Stay positive with him. Instead of telling him, "Bro, GROW UP and get rid of your video games", how about asking him to help you design an Islamic board game or something like Baba Ali? Let him use his skills/talents/ and interests in the name of Islam :)"

Why don't you also tell him something like "How about we design an Islamic video, ourselves"? A short one? On youtube? Look around for challenges/ competitions that he might be interested in that have an Islamic touch....

Hmmmm....What else?

If it's economically feasible, why not plan for a umrah trip?

But other than that, I a'int ashamed to admit it! We need some 'uncle help'.

Ladies, ask your brothers/husbands:

How do we get an 18 year old guy interested in religion?!

 and write their answers in the comments. You can also pitch in your own ideas...:)

The most important thing though is to make dua for him. 


 Make lots and lots of dua, especially during the last third of the night.

P.s.I know that you said that he's even not interested in his own studies....Well... You can try and talk to him about what he wants to major in? Ask him what university is he planning on applying to? What grades does he need? Ask him if he's checked out the job opportunities available? What's the market like? Again, not too pushy..in an "I-care-about-you- am-interested- in-what you-want-to-do-believe- that-you-can-become-somebody-great" way :)

p.s.s. an older post that might give you some ideas: http://dearlittleauntie.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-parents-dont-reallypray-and-stuff.html

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Kill Those Kaafirs?

Asalamu aliakuam.
It’s me again. I know I'm really bothering you,but I really hope you do not really mind or annoyed.I just want to pour out my heart to someone.
Some crises are occurring in my country and they are really bothering me. Some muslims are killing Christians while claiming that they are doing it for the oppression of muslims, thinking they are claiming they are fighting jihad. They even went as far as causing havoc on Christmas day,think they burnt churches,I read in a hadith that the Prophet disallowed killing pple in their places of worship but this is exactly what these pple did. And, I feel sorry for the Christians, these pple kill their children, wives e.t.c, didn’t the Prophet also disallow this? Shouldn’t we muslims be of the best behaviour ? I’m really confused though because at the same time I once read in a hadith translated as something like muslims should kill those who disbelieve in Allah and his messenger. Is this true? can u talk about how we should treat the disbelievers please?
Thank you very much as you answer my questions,I know they are really much but I really do need your help and appreciate it so much.
Signed,
Once again In Need of Help

Wa’alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo,

First of all, in need of help again, please don’t ever say that you are bothering us or annoying us. This blog wouldn’t exist without people like YOU! Together, we’re a team :)

Beside, you really have a knack of asking AWESOME questions, LOL. Like seriously!

As for ‘the crises’ that are occurring in your country, we’re very saddened to hear that. Wallahi, that is terrible. Burning churches? Killing innocent people?! How is this jihad? You are right in questioning this evil behavior and saying that we are supposed to be the best examples! I see that you have mentioned ‘reading a hadith that said we should kill those who disbelieve in Allah and in his messenger. I really have NO IDEA what hadith you are referring to. (Maybe the other sisters can help us), but I think you might have heard someone taking out a verse of the Qur’an out of context, so we’ll look into that, inshaAllah.

Let’s start first, though, by taking a look at what the Qur’an says in regard to those who disbelieve and our relationship with them:

• Allah does not forbid you, with regard to those who fight you not for (your) faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for God loves those who are just (Surat Al Mumatihina 60: 8)

• Invite all to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching. And argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious...And if you punish, let your punishment be proportional to the wrong that has been done to you. But if you show patience, that is indeed the best course. Be patient, for your patience is from God. And do not grieve over them,or distress yourself because of their plots. For God is with those who restrain themselves, and those who do good. Qur'an 16:125-128

• "Nor can Goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!" (Surah 41, Verse 34).

What about the surah or the entire Chapter that is called “The Disbelievers”

Say, "O disbelievers,(1) I do not worship what you worship. (2) Nor are you worshippers of what I worship.(3) Nor will I be a worshipper of what you worship. (4)Nor will you be worshippers of what I worship. (5) For you is your religion, and for me is my religion." (6)

Or this?

Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects Taghut (evil) and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trust worthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things. " (Qur'an 2:256)

Think about it! If we are clearly told to leave people to make their own choice about Islam, then it only makes sense that we are not allowed to hurt them physically either if they make a decision not to follow Islam, doesn’t it?

Furthermore, the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told us that whoever kills a person of another religion and there is a peace treaty between them, will never be able to smell paradise.

(Al-Bukhaari narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever kills a mu’aahid will not smell the fragrance of Paradise, even though its fragrance may detected from a distance of forty days.’)

So then, what is jihad? And when are we supposed to do it?

Jihad literally comes from the root word meaning to ‘struggle’ and it refers to things much broader than fighting in war. It includes things like struggling against unlawful temptations, struggling to give charity, struggling to purify the soul, etc.

However, it does also refer to ‘fighting in a war’, but it in NO Way denotes killing random innocent civilians.

 Let’s take a look again at what the Qur’an says:

• Fight in the cause of God against those who fight you, but do not transgress limits. God does not love transgressors. (2:190)

• "Permission [to fight] is granted to those who are being persecuted, since injustice has befallen them, and God is certainly able to support them [with victory].

• They were evicted from their homes unjustly, for no reason other than saying, "Our Lord is God." If it were not for God's supporting of some people against others, monasteries, churches, synagogues, and mosques - where the name of God is commemorated frequently - would have been destroyed. Absolutely, God supports those who support Him. God is Powerful, Almighty." (Surah 22, Verses 39-40).

• If then any one transgresses the prohibition against you, transgress ye likewise against him. But fear Allah, and know that Allah is with those who restrain themselves." (Surah 2, Verse 194).

This kind of jihad then is about protecting the right people have to practice their religion or fighting tyranny and oppression and it should occur after peaceful methods have been attempted like negotiations, peace treaties, etc.

AND still! Even when we fight in a war in self defence, we are told not transgress or to go over board. Yes, even in war, there are very strict rules. No fruit bearing tree should be cut down, no woman killed, no place of worship destroyed, etc. Elderly men, children, and even preachers of other religions must not be harmed. The Prophet said:

 Do not kill women or children or non-combatants and do not kill old people or religious people,'' and he mentioned priests, nuns and rabbis. And he said, "Do not cut down fruit-bearing trees and do not poison the wells of your enemies."

You see, Islam forbids oppression, even during ‘war’.

‘And do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from beign just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness.” (5:8)

“And do not let the hatred of a people for having obstructed you from al-Masjid al Haram lead you to transgress” (5:2)

Well, then, what about this verse and ones like it (which may be the hadith you are referring to):

And kill them wherever you overtake them and expel them from wherever they have expelled you, and fitnah is worse than killing. And do not fight them at al-Masjid al- Haram until they fight you there. But if they fight you, then kill them. Such is the recompense of the disbelievers.(191)

I would say,  it is extremely dangerous to read one verse and not read the entire context. Just read on to the very next verse:

And if they cease, then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. (192)

This also brings to mind this verse: "But if the enemy incline towards peace, do thou (also) incline towards peace, and trust in Allah: for He is the One that Heareth and Knoweth (all things)." (Surah 8, Verse 61).

We also need to re-read the original verse. It says ‘from wherever they have expelled you’- meaning again that they started the oppression, first. These are not ordinary civilians. We are not to touch innocent people. These are people who 'began the oppression'- thus, we're allowed to defend ourselves. Again, though, our punishment though should be proportionate to what they have done.

You know what? I think we should take a look at the Prophet’s life- the prophet who was our role model- and see how he treated the disbelievers. As we all know, the Arab Pagans abused and tormented the Prophet and his followers for more than 13 years. They persecuted them so greatly, the Prophet and his handful of followers were granted leave from Makkah and emigrated to Madinah. Even though they emigrated, the Qurayshis didn’t stop plotting against them. And yet, years later, the Prophet returned to Makkah, with 10,000 followers. What did the Prophet do to the Arab Pagans who had been plotting against him and his followers for 20 years? Did he kill them because they were non-believers?  No! No, no! He forgave them.These were 'criminals', so what do you think we should do with those who are innocent?!

As for those people attacking the Church, I just want to share this: during the time that Omar bin Al Khattab was Khalifa, he was invited to a Church, but he refused to pray in the church so that Muslims would not request converting the church to a mosque.

It should be clear then that Muslims only fight when they have to. As for ordinary civilians, we are told to treat them respectfully and with kindness. If they choose not to believe, that is between them and Allah. We are not the ones who should punish them.

Hope this answers your question and don't worry- you can still send in some more :)

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Love him? More like die for him...

I really love your blog and I really need your help. I’m really having low iman,I do not even know hadiths to believe these days,some hadiths really bother(can u explain a hadith about the prophet saying that a good muslim should love him(Prophet Muhammad) more than oneself).I’m having very,very low iman.

Jazak Allah girls and may Allah bless you for all that you do,

Need Help

Dear Need Help,

Asalamu aliakuam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo, dearest Sis!

I'm sorry to hear about your low imaan, but I'm soOoOo glad that you sent this question in because you're giving us a chance to talk about the most beautiful person! Allahuma sali wa salim ala sayidduna Mohammed. Before we start though, I want to make it clear that this topic that will be very hard to give its rightful due, but we'll try to lightly touch upon

a. why we should we love the prophet more than ourselves and
b. why we should follow ahadith,

So yes, get yourself a nice cup of tea (or orange juice, if you are like us), and get ready for a long read, hehe! And please, readers, join in and tell us your favorite story of the Prophet/ why you love him ...

Alright, so to start off, I want you to close your eyes and imagine a day

A day :

“When the sun is folded up”,* “When the sky is split open,** and “When the sky bursts open.”**

(AbdAllah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said: If anyone would like to look at the Day of Resurrection as though it were before his eyes he should recite those three surahs)

- when the children[will be] white- haired (73: 17)

- when the sun will be brought near the created beings till it is about a mile from them, and mankind will sweat according to what they had done, the sweat reaching the ankles of some, the knees of others, the waists of others, while some will have their mouths covered by the sweat and Allah’s Messenger (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) pointed his hand at his mouth.

- a day when

Hell will be brought near.

In his Sahih, Imam Muslim bin Al-Hajjaj recorded that `Abdullah bin Mas`ud said that the Messenger of Allah said,
(Hell will be brought on near that Day and it will have seventy thousand leashes, and each leash will have seventy thousand angels pulling it.)

- And everyone you know...running away from you....caring about themselves only...

On the Day a man will flee from his brother (34) And his mother and his father (35) And his wife and his children, (36) For every man, that Day, will be a matter adequate for him. (80:1)

On that Day, even Prophet Moosa, who talked to Allah, will not be able to help us.....

But there will be one man who will take it upon himself to plead for us ....for his followers...

Who will not rest until he sees us in jannah with him...

'On the Day of Resurrection the people will surge with each other like waves, and then they will come to Adam and say, 'Please intercede for us with your Lord.' He will say, 'I am not fit for that but you'd better go to Abraham as he is the Khalil of the Beneficent.' They will go to Abraham and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Moses as he is the one to whom Allah spoke directly.' So they will go to Moses and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Jesus as he is a soul created by Allah and His Word.' (Be: And it was) they will go to Jesus and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Muhammad.'

They would come to me and I would say, 'I am for that.' Then I will ask for my Lord's permission, and it will be given, and then He will inspire me to praise Him with such praises as I do not know now. So I will praise Him with those praises and will fall down, prostrate before Him. Then it will be said, 'O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to; and ask, for your will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers! My followers!' And then it will be said, 'Go and take out of Hell (Fire) all those who have faith in their hearts, equal to the weight of a barley grain.' I will go and do so and return to praise Him with the same praises, and fall down (prostrate) before Him. Then it will be said, 'O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to, and ask, for you will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers! My followers!' It will be said, 'Go and take out of it all those who have faith in their hearts equal to the weight of a small ant or a mustard seed.' I will go and do so and return to praise Him with the same praises, and fall down in prostration before Him. It will be said, 'O, Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to, and ask, for you will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers!' Then He will say, 'Go and take out (all those) in whose hearts there is faith even to the lightest, lightest mustard seed. (Take them) out of the Fire.' I will go and do so...."'

Can you imagine? Can you imagine choosing to leave paradise with all its bliss for someone else? Someone you didn’t even SEE?

How could we not love such a man? The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam could have said: I don't care. The heck with them. I already suffered enough to bring them the message and they decided to sin against Allah?! I was mocked at….stones were thrown at me…I was boycotted…all of this for the message. And they ignored me (didn't listen to the things I told them to do)- and now, they still want my help.

You see what I’m saying? I mean he could have been content with his position with Allah, but NO....

He will ask about US-- you- me--- the ones who followed the message he brought (inshaAllah, inshaAllah)


You see? Prophet Mohammed loves us that much!

The Qur'an says:

"(The Prophet) is greatly grieved at your loss and extremely anxious for your good. For the believers he is full of kindness and rahmah (mercy, love)." (9:128)

It's only natural then, that we share this love, too, don't you think?

Let's also take a look at the ending of this well known story in which Omar RadhiAllahu anhu said that he loved the Prophet only second to himself, but then quickly changed his mind. He was later asked how he could make himself love the Prophet SallAllahu alaihi wasallam more than himself in such a short time (read the rest of the story here: ) . He replied, “I went out and asked myself whom I needed more, myself or the Prophet of Allah? I found that I needed the Prophet more. I will not intercede for myself on the Day of Judgment, but the Prophet of Allah will. My deeds will not place me in the highest of levels, but my love for the Prophet will. I did not take myself from the darkness to light, but the Prophet of Allah did. Hence, the love of the Prophet fell in my heart more than my love for myself.”

You see, Omar bin Khattab's last line about 'not taking myself out from the darkness to the light' is really the zinger (Radiya Allah Anhoo).

We love the Prophet not only for what he is going to DO, but for what he already DID for us.

Who delivered the message of Islam to us? Who was our teacher? Who sacrificed his own comfort, who was jeered at, mocked, exiled from his home country, called a lunatic, tortured, had his daughters divorced just to bring us Islam? Who had people PLOTTING to kill him?

Who was given the chance to 'have the best women/highest position/etc. as long as he stopped calling people to the Message" but instead refused to accept any bribe just to deliver the message for us--

Instead of having the 'richest riches', he lived the life of a humble servant--

“A month would pass while the family of Muhammad would not light fire in their homes. They subsisted on two things - dates and water. Some residents of Medina who were his neighbors would send milk from their sheep, which he would drink and then give to his family.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)

Yes, our prophet Mohammed! Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam.

You see, the question you have to ask yourself is this-

Do you love Islam?

What would your life be without Islam? Without knowing who Allah is?

We love the Prophet because Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala CHOSE him to be the means to which we received the Revelation and learned Islam. We love him because he truly did deliver the message of Islam.

And you know what?

The Revelation itself was hard for the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam receive:
Aisha, may Allah be Pleased with her said: And indeed I saw him (Prophet Mohammed) when the revelation was coming down on him on a very cold day, and when it ended sweat was dripping from his forehead صلى الله عليه و سلم

Can you imagine? How much he went through for every single verse we got of the Qur’an?


What else?

We love the Prophet for his excellent manners.
Anas, his servant, swore that in his nine years of service, the noble Prophet never chastised him or blamed him for anything. Those around him described Muhammad to be so humble that even a little girl could hold his hand and take him wherever she wished. He used to come to the weak among the Muslims in order to visit the sick and attend their funeral processions. He used to stay at the back of the caravan to aid the weak and pray for them. He would not hesitate to walk with a widow or a poor person until he had accomplished for them what they needed. He responded to the invitation of even slaves, eating nothing more than barley bread with them. ( Taken from: http://www.whymuhammad.com/EN/Contents.aspx?AID=7041


Most of all, though, we love the Prophet because Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala told us to!

"The Prophet is preferable for the believers even to their own selves..." (33:6)

Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwelling in which you delight are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and striving hard and fighting in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His Decision (torment). [(9): 24]


This was Allah’s Command.

And this takes us to part 2!

We absolutely cannot forget the ahadith/ or not follow them. It is the Qur’an that tells us to follow them.


Nor does he (Muhammad) speak of his own desire. It is only an Inspiration that is inspired." [An-Najm: 3-4].

"Indeed, Allah conferred a great favour on the believers when He sent among them a Messenger from among themselves, reciting unto them His Verses (the Qur'an), and purifying them, and instructing them (in) the Book (the Qur'an) and Al-Hikmah (the wisdom and the Sunnah of the Prophe), while before that they had been in manifest error." [Al-'Imran: 164].

"Say (to them O Muhammad SAAW): If you love Allah, follow me, and Allah will love you, and forgive you your sins; Allah is All-Forgiving, All-Merciful. Say: Obey Allah, and the Messenger (SAAW), but if they turn away (then know), that Allah loves not the infidels." [Al-'Imran: 31-32].

So let those beware who dissent from the Prophet's order, lest fitnah strike them or a painful punishment. (An Nur: 63)

"You have indeed a good example in the Messenger of Allah (SAAW) for whosoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much." [Al-Ahzab: 21].

"It is not for any believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger) have decreed a matter, to have the choice in their affair. And whosoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger (SAAW) he has gone astray into manifest error." [Al-Ahzab: 36].

"But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O Muhammad) judge in all disputes between them, and find in their souls no resistance against your decisions, but accept (them) fully with submission." [An-Nisa: 65].

Whoever obeys the Messenger, he indeed obeys Allah, and whoever turns back, so We have not sent you as a keeper over them. (Surah An-Nisa, 80)

And whatever the Messenger has given you - take; and what he has forbidden you - refrain from. (surat al hashr 6)

You know, the Prophet himself warned us of this 'time":

The Prophet said, “There will come a time when a man sitting upon his couch is told a hadeeth and he replies, ‘Between us and you is the Book of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic. What we find in it to be lawful, we take as lawful and what we find in it to be forbidden, we take as forbidden.’ Indeed, what the Messenger of Allah has forbidden is like what Allah has forbidden.”

Not only that but just remember. The Companions who recorded the Qur’an are the same ones who preserved the sunnah.

In fact, the hadiths are not ‘randomly’ taken as people seem to think. There is a whole science related to it-“Al Jarh wa ‘Al Tadeel’- which seeks to examine the sayings of the Prophet to determine their authenticity (in a scientific manner).

First, the hadith is divided into 2 sections: the gist of the hadith (meaning), and the narrators. Then, the meaning is checked to make sure it does not violate any Islamic concept. Then the list of narrators is exhaustively studied- it is checked to make sure that each and every narrator did in fact meet (e.g. if I say X reported that Y reported that S narrated that Prophet Mohammed said, there would be a study to conclude that yes, x, y and s all did meet). The entire chain or narrators are ‘ruthlessly’ checked- their character is studied, whether they ever lied, any situation that demonstrated they had a weak memory, etc. how truthful they were known to be, etc.

In fact, in our history, we had many people who would journey thousands of miles tirelessly to collect narrations of the Prophet and distinguish the true words from any alternation and then give these narrations a grade- it could either be ‘saheeh (basically A+), ‘hasan (B), daeef (weak/questionable), and mawdqoo (fabricated). One story has it that one of the persons who collected the hadith, Buhkhari traveled all the way to another country, thousands of miles, to find this one man who had reported the specific hadith (or something like that), but when Bukhair went and found that man, Bukhair found the man telling his mule/donkey ‘to come’ and ‘he would give it something’. Bukhair then saw that the man did not end up giving the animal what he’d promised it. Bukhair, then, instead of asking that man for the hadith, returned back home, saying that he couldn’t trust that man, even though, all he did was ‘lie to an animal’.

To read more about the classification system and this very thorough science, read Here!:


And finally, my dear, I want to point out one thing. Prophet Mohammed sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was an extremely humble man. He never ‘elevated his status’. He wasn’t someone who called people to worship him or anything like that.

It is reported that once a Bedouin met him; when the Bedioun saw him, he was so awed by his presence, he trembled in fear. Seeing this Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: 'Calm down. I am only the son of a woman who used to eat dry meat in Makkah (meaning a poor woman).

He also was reported as saying:

Don’t exaggerate in praising me as the Christians did in praising Jesus who was raised to the status of God’s son. I am a servant of God; therefore call me a servant and messenger of God.”

The best servant of God!

May we be with him on the Day of Judgment, under Ar-Rahman’s Throne, in gardens of bliss!

Your sisters,

p.s. Actually, although we do not know which verses were corrupted in the Bible and which were not, it is interesting to note that they have recorded Jesus as saying: Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me (This verse is in the middle of the verse called "The Sword verse" Matthew 10:34 ).

p.s.s. PLEASE share your favorite hadiths/ stories of the Prophet here :)

p.+ 3's, for ways to increase your imaan, check out the "Fed Up Of the Roller Coaster Ride". May Allah renew your imaan for you :)

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Prom

I know my question is really early to be asking but I can't stop thinking about it…in a couple of months, it's going to be prom. I know it’s haraam to date, but can't I just go there and hang out with my friends? I'm a muhjaba , so don't worry- I'm going to be dressed modestly. I just can't imagine graduating after 12 years and not celebrating with my friends, especially since we're all going our separate ways. By the way, my mom said it's my decision since I promised her I'm not going to dance or do anything wrong. I just want to feel like a senior…

Signed,
Can't stop thinking about prom

Dear "Can't Stop Thinking of Prom",



First off, congrats, girl! You're a senior! You should be proud of yourself (: May Allah help you choose a major that rewards you both here and the Hereafter.



Now onto your question…to go or not to go to prom? I'm so happy you asked this because this is a question a lot of young Muslims have to tackle with.

Here's the thing…having an education is a very big blessing. I know going to school can feel like a drag half the time and right now as a senior, leaving school is all you can probably think about (besides prom :P) but the truth is… you're very lucky to have gotten the chance to go to school. Millions of children around the world have to work…and others are stuck in wars or have terrible diseases that prevent them from going to school. So who is it that gave you this blessing? That's right…as with every blessing, it was Allah. Who is the One who was with you the whole time you were in school? Wasn't it Allah who saw you through every difficult test, who helped you come up with great ideas for your papers, who made your unbelievably hard "math" teacher have a change of heart? (Insert any subject here) Now- after supporting you for 12 years, do you really want to disappoint Him?


You might be thinking- but that's my point…"I'm not going to disappoint Him because I'm not going to do anything wrong." And here's what I have to say…by going to prom- by paying however much the ticket costs, by buying a dress, and sitting in that hall, you are giving off a very clear message. You are actually supporting the ‘idea of prom’ which in itself is against Allah’s teachings and Commandments. AND what’s more, even if you aren't going to do anything wrong, by choosing to go to such an environment, you are supporting everything that will happen there- from the drinking, flirting, slow dancing, etc. Things that definitely do not please Allah!

See, in the Quran, Allah tells us very clearly not to follow the Shaitaan's footsteps.

He says: “O you who believe! Do not follow the footsteps of the Shaytaan, and whoever follows the footsteps of the Shaytaan, then surely he bids the doing of indecency and evil” [24.21]

He also tells us not to only not to ‘do’ sin BUT also not to go near places of sin.

“Say, "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities - what is apparent of them and what is concealed…(Al Anam 6:151)”

Why? Well for one thing, even if you aren't planning on doing something…being in such an environment can taint your heart and make you insensitive to sin. I mean after sitting for a couple of hours in a place where couples are literally feeling each other, it's going to be a lot harder to think that shaking hands with the opposite sex is wrong. You see what I mean? Just think- every minute you spend there, every single thing you see that is haraam and don't do anything about it- all of that you are going to be asked about on the Day of Judgment.

Remember the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said:

“Whosoever of you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart; and that is the weakest of faith.

Not to mention the fact that if other Muslim girls get inspired by you and decide to go, you are going to have a share of their sins…

The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said: "Whoever starts in Islam a good practice (sunnah), he gets the reward of it and the reward of all those that act on it. And whosoever starts in Islaam an evil practice (sunnah), he gets the evil of it and the evil of all those that act on it." [Muslim]

Still not convinced? Ask yourself this: Would the Companions (May Allah be pleased with them) have gone to such a place? I know you said your mother said you could go…but would you have invited our Mother Aishia (May Allah be pleased with her) to go if she was alive?

Let me bring it closer to home. I don't know whether or not you have a brother, but how would you feel if your brother said, "Look, sis. My friends are going to a bar, and I'm going with them. Don't worry- everything's cool. I'm not going to drink or anything. Just hang out with my gang." If you're like me, you'd be like "Uh-uh. I don't think so!" And it's not because you want to be mean…but because you love your brother and you want to protect him.

It boils down to this… Allah chose you. With His Infinite Knowledge, He looked into your heart and He gave you the gift of Islam. I know we're constantly pointing out the fact that there are over 1billion Muslims…but when you think about it the other way, 4 billion people aren't Muslim. You really were lucky- not even the Prophet's uncle was blessed with Islam. And as Muslims, our lives are dedicated to Allah.

I know it can be hard…but every time you choose Allah over yourself, Allah will reward you in ways you can't imagine. Talk to Allah and ask Him to make it easy for you to let go of prom. Ask Him to fill your heart with His love and love for what He loves.

Does this mean you can't celebrate? Of course, not. You can still have a party with your friends- of course, only girls. If you want something classy/ formal, maybe you can all pitch in and go to an expensive restaurant for dinner…or you can plan a special day with your friends- something like a "Memory Fiesta", where you look through old pictures and yearbooks and maybe even go to favorite places you'd hanged out at before together. Or if that doesn't sound like your thing…you could do something completely different- maybe take a hot air balloon ride together, or go to an amusement park, etc.

At the same time, you guys could celebrate finishing high school by giving something back to the community…like planting a tree together. That way, you'll have something to remind you of each other forever.

Islam is not against celebrating but it's about you celebrating the right way. And not losing sight of the big picture…jannah. Do you really want to risk losing eternal bliss for a few hours of fun?

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