When Mom and Dad love the bro more

I’m having a lot of trouble these days with my parents. It’s not that my parents are mean to me or anything. It’s just that they obviously love my brother more. They love me too, but I can’t help but feel like they’re always giving him priority and attention over me. I just want to know why? I mean I’m their daughter too. And isn’t it wrong what they’re doing? Like he gets the best things (food, electronics, clothes, etc) and I’m supposed to always sacrifice for him. Sometimes, I feel like I really hate him.

Dear Sis,

Big hug coming your way! I really feel for you. It must be really hard when the two most important people in your life keep favoring someone over you. That’s not to say that there aren’t times when it’s natural for parents to favor one child- a newborn, sick (or disabled) child naturally need more attention. If it’s a critical year in school, parents might also want to support their child by buying extra presents or showering them with attention, unfortunately sometimes at the expense of another child. If, though, you really can’t think of a reason why your brother keeps getting the “best” things, then, that’s a different story.

Unfortunately, though, , you’re not alone. The reality is that a lot of parents make this mistake though the Prophet (sallah Allah alayhee wa salaam) made it clear that parents need to be fair.

Al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer said:

"My father gave me some of his wealth, and my mother ‘Amrah bint Rawaahah said: ‘I will not accept this until you ask the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to bear witness to it.’ So my father went to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to ask him to bear witness to the gift he had given me. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you done this for all your children?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Fear Allah and treat all your children fairly.’ So my father came back and took back his gift." (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1623).

So, yes, sis, what your parents are doing isn’t right. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you can find it in your heart to forgive them for it. It should help if you think about how much your parents have done for you and how much they mean to you. Think about how many times you might have let them down and how much they’ve put up with.

At the same time, that doesn’t mean that you should give up and accept whatever is happening. Sis, one thing you need to realize is that relationships are fluid and that means they change. Day by day! Keep making dua; turn to Allah sincerely and ask Him to guide your parents.

While you’re doing that, try to talk to your parents about how you feel. You might be thinking “But I shouldn’t have to tell them! They should know”. I want you to ignore that voice. As we said in a different post, your parents are human. And they make mistakes. And sometimes, they don’t even realize it when they’re doing something wrong. You can’t hold your parents responsible when you haven’t tried to bring to their attention how you feel.

You don’t even have to do it directly. For instance, next time, you’re at the dinner table, take the initiative. Say something like “Wow, that looks really yummy. Let me get a knife so we can split into___ parts so that everyone can get a piece.” If they ask you to sacrifice something, let them know how much that thing means to you. Let them know you’d be willing to lend it to your brother, but that you’d like it back later on. Or ask them if they could get you something else instead.

If you’re too shy to talk them, then leave them a little note saying how you feel.

And if that’s not your style, think about talking to your brother about it. Now, that doesn’t mean that you should attack him (or even hate him) because he’s not responsible for your parents’ actions. But you can ask him to help you out a little. You can tell him that you feel a little hurt and left out. Ask him if he’d be willing to talk to your parents about it or if he’d be willing to share with you.

What else? Well, you asked why your parents love your brother more…The truth is that you don’t even know if your parents really do love him more. Love is in the heart and it can be expressed in different ways. I know you feel like they love him more because of how much attention they give him. But as a teacher, I can tell you that the student who gets the most attention isn’t necessarily the one that I like the most. It’s just that they’re so demanding, it’s easier to give them what they want than not to (unfortunately). And it’s easy to think that the others don’t really mind or to convince myself that they understand why I’m giving in. The same is true for parents…they might think you know how much they love you. And you never know, they might actually love you more for being so easygoing.

If you’re still convinced that they love him more, think about this: are you closer to one of your parents?

Sometimes, our hearts can’t help who they feel more inclined to. But if you put a little effort, things can change.
Try your best to see if there is something that your parents might be upset about, which you can change. Do your parents have to constantly nag at you to clean your room? Or help out at home? Are they constantly worried about your grades? Is there something that is continually causing friction between you and your parents?

On the other hand, it might not have anything to do with that. You could have just led very separate lives for a long time and your parents can’t help but feel more connected to your brother. If you want your parents to notice you, then, it’s time you try. Maybe you can watch an Islamic/educational series together. Or how about going walking with them? When it’s time for dinner, you can casually enter the kitchen and start chit chatting with your mumzy about your and her day. When your dad comes home, you can offer to make him a cup of tea. These might be small things, but they speak volumes. You can even think about making something together or coming up with a goal with your parents (e.g. saving money for Umrah!). Etc…

But most of all, sis, never forget that you have Allah on your side. And anytime, your parents seem to think about your brother first and you feel a little hurt, remind, yourself, that Allah is saving something for you in jannah…something truly special.
Every time that you are unfairly treated, remember that Allah knows. And rest assured that He will never let any of your acts go unrewarded.

…and whatever good you put forward for yourselves - you will find it with Allah. Indeed, Allah of what you do, is Seeing. (2: 110)

And think about it this way. Maybe your brother got your parents because Allah chose you for HIM. He wanted you to draw closer to Him…

I have chosen you for Me.(Surat Taha, 41)

How does that sound?

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That Guy on Twitter

Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem
I am recently using twitter again, and so I decided to look for a hashtag of #Islam so that I could follow people who would post inspiring messages concerning Islam. While searching, I came across someone who also posts about Islam and to his "future wife".
Uhmm, this may sound weird though, but I always feel glad when reading his post. I have the hope that he could be my future husband. After all, based on his info he is also 20 years old. Alhamdulillah, Muslim sisters and brothers in twitter do not post their real picture, so I thought maybe there is no fitna being cause there.
Uhmm, so my question is, is it right if I would message hia ‘cyber mom’ asking if that person has already someone in his heart? So that if there is, then I wouldn’t be praying that someday we could meet each other, and instead just pray that they would have a blessed life.
I’m sorry for this, I believed this really sound silly. I’m just quite envious to those who are married already, because it does not cause them fitna. Additionally, we are residing in a place of which minority are Muslims
JazzakhAllahuKhairan for everything  Fi amanilah little aunties!

Wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo, Mysterious Identity!

I'm sure a lot of sisters can relate to your question.

If there's one thing I know, it is so darn easy to fall in love, online. It is.

You know why? Because all you see is the 'perfect, witty, intellectual, smart side'. Let's face it. When you're reading someone's tweets and their facebook statuses, you're dealing with an idealized version of a person. It's sort of like the "photoshopping of thoughts". You don't have to deal with 'the person's anger problems, stinginess, moodiness, generally unreasonable behavior, or anything of that sort. You just see a few perfect lines of wisdom and humor.

Bottom line: we always present the very best of us on the net (I do it with my blog, too)..We reveal only that which we want to reveal...and we hide what we want to conceal. So, when you're reading this guy's tweets and thinking that he is your Prince Charming, realize that you actually haven't been witness to any of his behavior. You are 'attracted' to this person's writings, but you haven't actually met the real him.

Does that mean I'm saying "Forget it"?

Not exactly. I'm just warning you that he could be someone totally unlike what you think he is....

That said....let's talk about the whole of the situation.

* Would your parents allow you to marry a 20 year old? Does this person have a job? Would your parents have a problem if he doesn't?

If your parents would care ( or if there is any other factor that might make your parents refuse him), there's no reason to drag him into a discussion on marriage, when your parents wouldn't approve of him, anyways.

IF, on the other hand, your parents wouldn't care, I don't think that it is a bad idea to contact the person he has listed as his cyber mom. Why not? Hehe :)

(I like how you said you would contact his mom and not him :D As you and I know, we're not supposed to have direct contact with a non-mahram without having our walis/ mahrams involved.)

If you're backing out of that idea or you feel too weird doing that, you could always enlist the help of an older friend/ auntie/ older sister and let her "try to do some matchmaking". For example, your older woman friend could message the 'cyber mom" and say something like:

"Wow, ma'shaAllah ta'barakAllah, your son seems like a very good and pious young man. I'm always on the lookout for a husband for my sister/friend/etc. and I see that you're living in the same area. My sister's Twitter profile is...  Do you think your son would be interested in knowing more about her and seeing if they are compatible?"

What else can you do?
- Pray istikharah
- Make general duas :D

I read this quote that sums up all that I wanted to say about making general duas:

As tempting as it may be, let’s try to not ask Allah to give us a specific spouse ‘by name’. We might really like someone and imagine them to be our only Mr or Mrs Right, our Destiny. However, only Allah knows what that particular person is truly like and whether they would be a ‘pure match’ for us. Instead let’s ask Allah to choose our spouse, to guide us to who He knows will be a good match. By truly putting our trust in our Creator we will be certain that He will give us someone better suited to us than we would have chosen ourselves, Insha’Allah!

[www.PureMatrimony.com]

I understand that you live in a place where Muslims are a minority. It can be really frustrating and worrying when you feel like there aren't any Muslims around and you wonder how are you possibly going to get married?
- Remember to be active within even your minority Muslim community. On the bright side of things, since there aren't that many Muslims around, your name is more likely to be mentioned when there's an available brother =P
- Try talking to your parents about joining a Muslim matrimonial website such as "Half our Deen" or "Pure Matrimony". You don't have to be looking at only people within your area.

And remember this...Allah is the best of Planners. I know it sounds 'cliche' but it is true. He really is. Marriage is a LOT of work. Look around you at the married people- they're all "why do you want to get married? Enjoy your single life..."

The single people wanna get married and the married people dream about their single days. But if we can all decide to be happy and content with the ways things are now...things would be a lot easier :)

Hope that helps a teensy weensy bit =)

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My Parents Want Me to Date

Alhamdillah, I'm a Muslimah who was very far from Islam but came back to it a few years ago, from Allah's mercy. The thing is, my family is very liberal and they believe that my 'islam' is too strict. Recently a friend of mine told me that she knows a good brother who is interested in marriage. I know though that my parents would never accept me marrying the person without 'knowing them' and having a relationship. They want me to date and 'go out' with the person. I'm worried that if I tell them about the brother, they would just refuse or worse, tell the brother that we should date (he's very practicing). I'm lost.
Need some help!

Dear Need Some Help,

Alhamdillah that you have come back to Islam and are trying to follow it correctly. May Allah make your heart firm and keep us all guided :D

As for your situation, it sucks that your parents believe that you should be all "going out/ dating" and that kinda thing.....

My advice would be this:

Tackle the easier parent first. If it's your mom, take her out to dinner/ and then bring up the topic casually.
 Just say that you've heard about a really good person who might be contacting them soon about marriage. You have a mutual 'friend' or you know their relative and you have a lot of good reasons to believe that you and this guy could really get along well (you seem quite compatible)...List a few reasons why you think so (e.g. you have similar educational backgrounds/ etc. he comes from a respectable family/ and finally religious views).....

Then, using your oh, so, sweet, baby girl voice ask: "Would it be possible to invite this person over to the house for a casual dinner/ tea/ so that you can get to know the person more, with your family present?" {In the event that the person does contact your daddy and really is interested in marriage}

If she tells you "Why don't you go out a few times or date", you need to first say that you agree  that you need to "know the person before you go and marry them" but your way of knowing the person is a little different.

Tell your parents that you don't want to be 'won over by a person's charm or witty remarks' but instead want a casual setting where both families can make sure that the person is compatible, shares the same values and priorities. You're not looking for a time waster and at the same time you don't want to waste his time, either....so rather than you chatting endlessly with him for months to randomly find out his life plan, what his goals are, how he plans to afford marriage, what his views are on Islam, politics, etc. you'd rather just invite him to your house and give both of you the opportunity to ask those serious questions straight out.

Besides, you " value your father's opinion (your wali :D)" and would like to know what he thinks of him...you want your father to share with you in your decision of who you will marry (Of course this is all blah blah...but it's to convince him to let you meet the suitor with 'a mahrem' present). What's the harm of inviting the family over a few times? Isn't it better for both families to be involved right from the beginning?

You can also explain to your parents that when you invite the person over, you learn a lot of things about them, like if they are stingy or generous (bringing gifts)..If they are punctual or lay back.

By the way, before talking to your parents, it would be a good idea to do an "internet search"/ "facebook search" of the suitor. Tell your parents that you have gotten to know some information about him: what he likes this and the kinds of friends he has .....You guys actually share a LOT in common, like you listen to the same Sheikhs/ etc.

And finally, make lots of DUA!

Oh and relax, hunny! I know how difficult and worried you might be now, but just remember that Shaitan is trying to make you fall into despair. Everything is possible with Allah and Allah will never abandon someone who is trying to follow His way. Give your parents a chance...they might just welcome the idea :D

Lots of love,
May Allah give you what is best for you and who is best for your deen,

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All Girls' Parties

 

Assalmu alaykum,

Alhamdullah, recently through the mercy of Allah (s.w.t) I have stop listening to music and over socializing with friends so that I don't fall in to gossip and started eating meat that are slaughtered by only Muslims. I live in the west so we have some people (I used to be once from these people) who eat meat that are not slaughtered by Muslim because they say that it is slaughtered by the people of the book. But we really don't know if it was slaughtered by the people of the book and also in the west most of the non Muslim butcher places shoot the animal first before slaughtering or they slaughter them in very inhumane ways which is totally against Islam. So just to be safe I decided to stay away from meat slaughtered by non Muslims so that I can become closer to Allah (s.w.t). Alahmdullah, I don't even find it difficult anymore and it has been more than a year. In addition, I am really careful with what I eat outside since I live in the west with food labels and making sure they do not contain Alcohol, pork or other animals (slaughtered by non Muslims). However, whenever there are Muslim girls party I just don't know what to do because the parties are potluck and I am not comfortable with the food brought because not everyone is really careful about reading labels and meat slaughtered my non Muslim. In addition, there is music which I don't feel comfortable because I am trying to quit it. Furthermore, girls usually take pix in the party with friends and even if you avoid the pix sometime you end up accidentally being in the back ground of a pix. I wear Hijab so I don't want to go through that. So from now onward, I want to wear modest outfit with my hijab to the parties but I am really scared I will be made fun of since it is all girls party. What should I do about my fear of being made fun of? What should I do about food, Music in these parties? Should I stop going to girls parties, If yes what should I say when I get invited. 
May Allah (s.w.t) reward you guys for all you efforts inshAllah. Ameen. --Confused Sister

Wa'alaikumussalam wa rahmatullah! :D


Alhamdulillah, it's great that you've stopped listening to music and are trying to live according to the sunnah! May Allah (swt) make it easy for you and guide us all. Ameen!


I completely understand your concerns. I'd feel the same way if I were in your shoes. :/ I'd be like, "Uhhhh, what do I do now?" Well, let's see what we can do in situations such as these...


The Messenger of Allāh (sallallu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, 

“Leave what puts you in doubt in favor of what does not” (Sunan al-Tirmidhī),  

“What is lawful is clear, and what is unlawful is clear. And in betweenthe two are doubtful matters [whose rulings] many people do not know. He who guards against thedoubtful safeguards his religion and honor, and he who falls into the doubtful falls into the unlawful,just as a shepherd who grazes his flock around a preserve will likely soon graze them in it. Indeed, everyking has a preserve, and the preserve of Allāh are the things he has declared unlawful” (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī).

I know this issue is extremely confusing and sensitive to some people, because people do take offense when someone asks where they got their meat from. So here, my dear sister, is where we'll be tactful in our our approach to asking them. :)


I was just reading an article on this matter last week in which Mufti Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera gave practical solutions to this problem. SO here's what we can do!

"1. If possible, it is usually best to go directly to the host at the time of receiving the invitation or close
thereafter (but well before the date of invitation), and politely inform him or her, without being
judgmental about his or her practices, that you have some strict dietary limitations regarding meat.
Inform them of butchers you trust. If the meat does not come from these sources, and the host is not
willing or able to obtain meat from these certified stores, let him know that meat is not a necessary part of the meal for you and that you would be perfectly satisfied with alternate options, such as vegetable and fish dishes. Let them feel that you are eager to accept their kind invitation and enjoy their company, and that, for you at least, the importance of the gathering is in being together, not the type and variety of food served.

2. If it is difficult to approach the host, perhaps because one is not on intimate enough terms with him,
then ask in an appropriate manner someone who may know where the host buys his meat. As much as
possible, this should be done in an indirect and subtle manner, so as not to raise too much suspicion or
throw the matter out of proportion.

3. Volunteer to purchase the meat for the host, and buy it from your trusted source. In the US in
particular, many people are particular about what they eat and strictly adhere to certain self-imposed
dietary restrictions, so many hosts are quite accommodating. For example, some people are on a low-carb diet, some are vegetarian, some are lactose intolerant, some allergic to nuts, and many hosts are willing to go out of their way to serve a cuisine that suits the needs of their guests." (Mangera, Abdur-Rahman. "Zabiha-- Meat Madness." Web.)


To be honest, about slaughtering the animal, you should probably consult a local scholar on the matter so you can be absolutely sure as to what is and what isn't allowed. You'll get an in-depth answer so that way you won't have to keep treading on egg shells all the time and you'll have a peace of mind. I would recommend that you read this article too, as it does address other issues about this that we all should be aware of. :)


For the all-girls' party (now this is where I can relate to you! haha), make sure you don't make it a big deal. By all means, definitely be extremely careful in what you consume. We have to always do that! But the thing is, it's all about how you approach others. Firstly, try to inquire as to where the meat and products came from, and if there are any staple food items at the party every single time, make a mental note of what they are and research/call on your own sometime after the first party and before the next. If the meat is still questionable even after you inquire about it, then don't eat it. That's it. Just don't eat it. :) We have to make sure not to make a big show out of it (even accidentally). If someone asks, just pass it off as something trivial (I follow the view that we should avoid this and this," etc.) 


The thing to keep in mind though is that most people know about halal and haraam concerning food practices. If they choose not care so much about it, that's between them and Allah (swt). We can't shove it down their throats, and that's how some people feel when we're not careful in how we approach this matter. If they do happen to take offense, you're going to be termed the "Religious Girl" who thinks she's better than everyone else, and truly, none of us are better than someone else. (Be careful; look at others' good qualities and attributes, and look at your own faults [A reminder first for myself and then for others.].) I know this because it's happened in my community. If this happens, then you'll probably lose all opportunities of showing/telling them that what they're doing isn't right. Just be careful. I know, this is really hard. :/


Now you might be wondering, "But shouldn't I tell my friends if they're consuming something that's not halal?" I know, you're trying to be a good friend and, of course, trying to protect them from something that's not right. One day, just randomly bring the article to a gathering (or bring up the subject) and talk about and ask what they think. And then tell them what you've learned...Let your friends know why you've changed (about music, clothes, food)! Anyone else have any suggestions? :D


You're going to have to learn to brush people's comments off if they make fun of you. Don't let it get to you. Confiding in somebody who cares for you and truly wants the best for you really helps too. Make du'aa to Allah (swt) to make this easy for you. Du'aa is the weapon of the believer. Wake up for tahajjud prayer. A friend of mine compares the last third of the night to professors' office hours in college. If students need extra help, they go their professors during the time they specifically set aside to answer their questions and such.  You're doing this for His sake. You could actually be a means of guidance for these girls. How cool is that? :)


I was just learning in my (Ilm Essentials) class today that it's sunnah to accept an invitation whenever possible, provided it's a halal gathering, so that's something you'll have to determine for yourself, and if further clarification is needed, it would probably be wise to ask your local scholars on this matter. 


Yeaaah, I run into the same issue of music, clothes, and picture-taking at all-girls' parties. That's a hard one! For pictures, just stand aside, and if they ask you to take be part of a group, politely decline while smiling, but be firm on your answer. Usually, that's not really too big of a problem from my experience.


If the girls want to play music, ask them to turn it off, and if they don't, then leave. Seriously. Try telling them beforehand. Come up with an idea for a game maybe.

You can't sacrifice your deen for your friends. 

And dressing modestly shouldn't be a problem either. The other day I wore an abaya to a party where everyone was dressed to the nines and it was perfectly fine. I didn't want to, but my parents didn't want me wearing a dress there and that's what I wanted to wear, so I ended up wearing an abaya. I was sort of nervous because my own twin wore a gorgeous dress just like everybody else (so I had no one with me), but once I got there, I realized that it was all for nothing. Alhamdulillah, I ended up having so much fun with the other girls! Your demeanor and smile says a lot. Remember that. Be open. :) 


I actually wrote down my thoughts right after the party, and I'll share some of them here:

I realized something today.

There’s no such thing as being too modest. I went to an all-girls party today, and alhamdulillah, it was lots of fun.  I got to meet quite a few people I had seen before but never actually met and a couple of new girls. Usually, I tend not to go, unless I know the friend who’s throwing the party really well. I think the last one I went to was all the way back in Ramadan. So, anyhoo, going back to where I started. I ended up wearing an abayah, but only because my parents didn’t want me wearing a (long) dress, and I really don’t feel comfortable in wearing tight jeans and stuff, even if it is only girls, and also because I’m not a big fan of and didn’t want to be the only one wearing shalwaar kameez. So I donned a nice abayah and a colored scarf, and I felt comfortable. Nobody asked why, or even if they did, I just shrugged it off, and didn’t really give a straight answer.

I noticed a couple of things. Nobody treated me differently (although I think a lot of it has to do with how you present yourself to others), even though I was in abayah. It's completely different being outside around non-Muslims (but I did see similarities in a sense since I had to present myself. Again, I was sort of the outsider and had to worm my way in.) See, in this situation, you have to take the crowd here into account. Most of these girls were Desi, with the exception being the hostess, who’s Turkish, and another girl, who’s White. Most of these girls aren’t muhajjiba, not their mothers, sisters, or daughters, so I was different, but I still had nice conversations with quite a few of them, and mashaAllah, they’re awesome people. My abayah wasn’t a barrier, for which I was glad, alhamdulillah.

I think I understand now why my parents didn’t want me wearing a dress, even though I was upset then. F said there was noor on my face at the party, and I'm pretty darn sure it was because I chose to listen to my parents. I think they were afraid that I would lose sight of hayaa’ and go all out. Yes, it’s allowed in front of girls to dress like that, but I feel like although Islam freed us from that sort of oppression (looking good for guys), girls tend to do that when they’re around all girls. Yes, I know it’s okay, but just because it’s allowed doesn’t mean I’ve got to show my cleavage and legs. Just because something's permissible doesn't mean it's recommended. I know I lose sight of that. What’s wrong with dressing modestly? It comes back to the same thing, self-respect. Do you respect yourself and your body, or are you taking the only outlet Islam gives you? Why flaunt everything? I know there’s nothing necessarily wrong with it, but why lose sight of the essence of hayaa’? I feel exposed. Why should I have to feel vulnerable in order to be accepted? I think I’m good, thanks. It’s perfectly fine to still maintain your modesty while wearing a dress, but you rarely see that. It seems like now they’re back in the cycle, only this time, it’s not for guys, but the same thing’s happening. Why would you free yourself from one sort of oppression and go into another? I don’t quite understand that.

This one hit me in the face as I was dropping F off at her house. We were driving aimlessly around her subdivision so we could talk a bit. I realized we wear niqaab, so no matter what, people look up to us, whether we like it or not, so along with that comes a certain sense of responsibility. I mean, yes, I knew that, but I never actually experienced that until now. I make mistakes, big ones at that, but most people don’t know that. May Allah (swt) make me better than what they think of me. People take us as examples, and if we do something, they follow it blindly without looking to see if it works for them or if it’s even right, so we sort of set the standard. So if we do good and the girls imitate us, then we get the ajr, but it goes both ways. If we do something wrong (or something that’s allowed but should be better left out given the circumstances), and people mimic that, then we could also be held responsible for that. :/This is something I definitely have to remain mindful of.

Lastly, if this doesn't work out for you and creates even more problems, make friends with like-minded people. Then you'll love them and be comfortable with yourself too, inshaAllah. :)


And remember...


The Prophet, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam, said,

“Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah replaces it with something better.” 

So, bi’idhnillaah, something better is coming for you soon, so smile.  

I hope this helps, inshaAllah! I'm providing a link to the article I mentioned throughout the text below.

Wassalam,

http://whitethreadpress.com/resources/zabiha_madness.pdf

 
(And May Allah forgive all of us if we have said anything incorrect :D)

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Wanna Fly . . .

Everyday I wake up and go to school, come home and do whatever but I feel like I'm wasting my life. I want to please Allah but I'm just spending my time in such a boring way - I don't enjoy it... I want to make something of life.Yours, WannaFly.

Salaam WannaFly,

It’s really good you want to make something of life and I’m guessing from your sign off name, you want to escape the monotonous, draining atmosphere of daily life. Lots of people feel this way and it is completely normal to be generally bored of life after a while.

I’m happy that you’ve figured out what you need to do already (: , you’ve figured out that you need to strive in the way of Allah – you want to please Him. You know the change you want to make.

 You want your Lord. Alhamdulillah this is so great, Allah always accept His servants:

Bukhari :: Book 9 :: Volume 93 :: Hadith 502 Narrated Abu Huraira: 

The Prophet said, "Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' " 

He, Allah, the Most Loving and Most Kind and and Turner of Hearts wants you to come to Him. It’s inevitable to eventually be bored of life – we’re plunged in this dry desert of a dunya – pleading for our thirst to be quenched; do you want to know what the much needed glass of water, or coke, or orange juice, or milk; whatever your preferred beverage – the much needed drink to quench our thirst of boredom in this life – is remembrance of Allah. Yes, simple but oh so powerful my sister. (:

I want you to make a list of the priorities in your life. It doesn’t have to be in order to begin with, just write down all the things which you find important at this moment in your day to day life and activities then order them – what’s actually  important to you

Write down how you actually SPEND your days. What are you doing with all your precious time? Using it all for the sake of Allah?

“Verily, [by time] man is in loss,Except those who believe and do righteous deeds and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, Patience and Constancy."

You could look in your community for old people's homes, nurseries, schools, charity shops, libraries where you can volunteer. Spending your time in the pursuit of gaining closeness to Allah, inshaAllah!

Join a sister's halaqa at the mosque - or make your own with the girls from school. Even online halaqas! Start a blog or even post a hadith or verse from the Quran on Facebook every few days. Spread Dawah! Pass out some books to friends or even to strangers if you're really brave!! Spend your time well, is what I'm trying to say. (:

Inject bursts of dhikr and worship into your daily timetable. Increase it! Make your life worthwhile; make it fresh with the remembrance of He who created you from clay. He who opens up buds in Spring and lets delicate snowflakes fall in Winter.

On this note, sometimes you feel like you’re on ‘autopilot’. Rushing around, trying to get things done, not quite knowing the purpose of WHY you’re doing this. Why am I spending 8 hours a night studying, why do I want to learn!? Renew your intentions in everything you do – ensure it’s for the sake of Allah!

Also, whilst you may feel you’re on autopilot, you should appreciate that which is around you.

                Allah says, "In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day, there are Signs for people of intelligence: those who remember Allah standing, sitting and lying on their sides." (3:190-191)

So remember Him.

Lastly, don’t worry. It does happen; it’s just really good that you’ve noticed this. Think about your life – and know you can always change it for the better.

Always for the better, inshaAllah.

Through the strives of changing for the better, always remember you’re seriously blessed, and never, ever alone – so smile (:

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