RE: Niqabi 101.

Alaikum sisters,

MashAllah, you are niqabis. First of all I want to say that before I used to outright refuse the idea of ever wearing niqab, but recently, as I think about it, I see how wonderful it actually is. I can imagine it being even more comfortable than wearing a hijab, and even more simple, and yes even more liberating. So I am a hijabi and, inshAllah, I would love to wear niqab. And this is where the question comes in:
how do you ladies as niqabis deal with getting an I.D. basically anything that requires an identification, like for the airport especially?
I know it can be done. I just want to know what is the smartest way to deal with these issues. I need some sisterly advice from experienced folks. This way, I will InshAllah do the right thing in these situations, and I don't freak out. And in this way, I can stop all of those "fears" I might have. But I know most of it has to do with me overthinking and having irrational fears. So inshAllah, knowledge will certainly help alleviate in some ways. And, inshAllah, becoming sincere in my intention is definately key in succeeding as with all things ibaadah-related. That's another thing, I need to keep in mind.

thanks a bunch
-niqab 101

wa'alykum as aslam wa rahmutllah wa barkatoo,
Dearest Niqabi 101,
Ma'shaAllah on thinking of joining the club :P Hehe :) Y'know, we hated the niqab ourselves never thought we'd wear it- but SubhanAllah, Allah is the One who has our hearts, isn't He? :) And now it's pretty much a part of us. You probably already did, but just in case you haven't, you can always go through the niqab label we have and see some general advice and all :D
As for your specific question, the honest truth is, when we have to 'show ourselves' like in the airport...we just show ourselves. I'm thinking that's probably not the answer you want to hear. But it is that simple. Alhamdilllah, we're almost always traveling from a Gulf country to Egypt and back- so they're usually quiet understanding (well at least on the Gulf side ;P). I mean, they even have like a private room with a woman officer. On the Egyptian side, it's just a man and you just have to lift the niqab up- real fast- let him take a look- and then you put it back down. That's all. They don't bite :)
If you want more information though for how it is in non-Muslim countries,  we can put this up on the blog and have the other sisters answer you, inshaAllah with their experiences :) Tomorrow? Or later tonight, inshaAllah> :) 
Lots of love,

Wa'alaikumus salam/Salam alaikum,

Not at all. I am not disappointed with the reply. Yes, it would be great to have a discussion on the website especially talking about for non-muslim countries. Also how college student niqaabis do it?

Yep, I checked out the database quesitons on niqaab, although can I still see both of your story of niqaab?


btw, this is the swiftest reply I could have ever expected! Ma'shAllah to you All. Much khair to all three of you. I pray that we can all have even more ikhlaas, and continually be improving in deen.

Salams and love

So yeah..we're turning this over to YOU :)

Show some love and share your stories/ experiences/ advice.

*Sisterly advice* *Best moments while wearing niqab* *Tell us* :D

Read more...

To wear Niqab ...or not to!

"Asalumalykum fellow muslim sister,
i'm really confused at the moment, recently i have started to respect and follow my deen to its full potential and mashAllah its going great. i have one question? i really want to wear the burka but its not essential is islam. can you please give me advice on what to do. jazakAllah "

Confused Sister

Wa’alykum as salam wa rahamtullah wa barkatoo, Confused Sister,

Ma’shaAllah to you! It’s so very beautiful to hear you say that you have begun to respect your deen and follow it as much as you can. May Allah keep you steadfast.

As for your question, I have to be honest with you. There is difference of opinion on the issue of niqab. You will find well known and extremely respected scholars of Islam who said that it was obligatory. On the other hand, you will also find others who said that it isn’t obligatory. (On the bottom of this post, I’ll provide you with links that show a little bit of the different opinions on the matter because we’ve actually had more than several sisters sending in questions about that. Ma’shaAllah, ta’barakaAllah really @ all these sisters who want to take such a big step)…

But as for now…

If you mean that you follow the opinion that it’s not obligatory, so you’re not sure whether to do it or not, I’ll tell you some advice I’ve heard many daee’s say over and over again…

One thing that happens to many people who ‘re-discover Islam’ is that they ‘go all out’. Whereas they used to pray once a year, suddenly, they’re reading three azjaa a day, fasting every Monday and Thursday, praying all the sunnahs, waking up in the middle of the night and praying, giving half their money as sadaqah, etc.

That’s all wonderful, of course, and ma’shaAllah and completely inspiring…except that, unfortunately what ends up happening to many people is that they crash.

Big Time.

Like if ‘this was a diet change’, they would be in the kitchen with their mouths stuffed with double fudge chocolate cake, and a few cartons of ice-cream already finished.

Yeah. They end up feeling overwhelmed, and unfortunately, many times, ‘retreating back to their old habits’ and abandoning even the obligatory things.

This is why most daee’s give this advice. If you’re going to start ‘hooking up with your deen again’, take it step by step.

(Now, we’re definitely not talking about taking it step by step with haraam things. If you’re doing something haram, you should stop it immediately).

But what we’re saying is first, make absolute sure that you are doing ALL the obligatory things. Then move on to the extra things or nawafil.

This is because Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala said in the hadith:

My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him"

So before you think of niqab:

•     Are you praying fajr? Isha? All five prayers on time?(which I am sure you are, ma’shaAllah)?
•       Do you already wear khimar/ abaya (or the very long scarf that covers your chest)?  
•     Those kinda things…

If you are already doing all that, fantastic, ma’shaAllah.

•     You can try and move on to [what is generally thought of as the easy] nawafil: are you praying the sunnah prayers?
•     Do you pray witr?
•       Do you fast the 3 days of the month? 

If yes, GREAT.

If not…

Here’s the thing. You should be warned that everyone has different experiences with niqab. Your experience with the niqab will depend a lot on your environment (including the familia- fam- mama- baba- that kinda thing) and more importantly on your own faith and trust in Allah. You most likely will get asked a LOT about it. You may find some Muslims who will also ‘accuse you of being extremist/ ruining the image of Islam/etc.” You may find your friends suddenly developing some sort of allergies to you and disappearing. If you’re still studying, you may find that your school/university doesn’t really accept it. If your imaan is still a little bud and hasn’t really blossomed yet, you may verily well end up feeling very alone and taking it off a few weeks later. Even years later, you may wonder if you had rushed into things that you didn’t really have to do… You may wonder why you didn’t just draw closer to Allah using these easier (less noticeable) nawafil (praying sunnah, etc.)…

That’s why I would recommend building your imaan as well as adding extra ibaadat in your daily life as much as possible before deciding to wear niqab. (Actually, this is something we should all do, anyways!)

Like set a goal date—6 months time- 8 months…etc.

Then, decide some actions that you are going to do each month to build up your iman. For example:

This month, I’m going to work on reading at least 10 pages of Qur’an every day…”
Second month: Now, I’m going to continue reading those 10 pages and add 3 more pages each day. I’m also going to start giving sadaqah once a week….
Third month:…..*and so on*

You see,

The Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) also said,:

 Take from works that which you are able to sustain, for Allah does not tire [of rewarding you] until you tire [of works].

That's why it's really important that you are consistent with what you do. Once you've done all that, try on the niqab. Get in touch with other niqabis around you. Ask them what their advice is. I'm not sure what country you're in which is why I advise you to talk to others actually in your area...Broach the topic with your family. Will they accept it/allow it? Read more and more about it.

The most important thing is understanding exactly what you’re getting into before getting into it, ishaAllah…

I hope inshaAllah that this little helps you and I ask Allah to forgive me if I said anything incorrect!

OH, you can also try reading this advice we posted earlier—Niqabi who needs a little boost

AND Hopefully also our other niqabi readers can share their experience and tips—tell us what do you advise her to do?

(And finally- for the differences of opinion on niqab: check out the link below)

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1161242210171#ixzz0vl2kBTyW

P.s. Here's our story why we chose to wear niqab: For a limited time only :)

Read more...

Does this Make Me an Extremist?

Fist , I'd like to tell you that I just love reading your blog and every answer refreshes me!!
I have read most of the questions you've answered, including the niqab question.
My question is related to that.

You have listed out various problems a niqabi can face, but my problem is different. I feel shy when I wear the niqab.(+gloves n socks)

I am from India, and here, people are not so aware of what a proper hijab is. I used to wear an abaya just while going out. But last year, I statred wearing hijab and that was not a problem at all. Recently, I just did some ''research'' on whether niqab is obligatory or not and I decided to start wearing it all times ( obviously in front of non mahrams only) .
When I wear niqab outdoors, it's absolutely fine, as many people do it, so I don't feel like an alien.
My problems is at home, in college and at parties and gatherings. People don't realize that my cousin, my sister's hubby or my uncle ( aunt's hubby) is also a non mahram for me. When I try to wear niqaab indoors, they ( my own brother, for example) give me weird looks and ask me not to go to the extremes ( as there are opinions that niqaab is'nt obligatory).

I don't feel encouraged at all, I feel discouraged all the time. People cannot change with me, I accept this, but I feel they must respect my decision to change. I was a big sinner, but that doesn't mean that I cannot be giuded by Allah!

My cousin, with whom I used to be like I am with my own brother, and other non mahrams literally get scared when they see me!!!

All this makes me so self conscious that I IMMEDIATELY panic( i don't show it) and remove my niqaab, and then feel terribly guilty and it shows on my face that I am sooo irritated. So people think I am confused within myself and an ''extremist''!

There's another problem. When I am home, or even in my room, any of my cousin or my sister's hubby just rush in and I am in there, with no hijaab, looking to hide somewhere!

All this is really upsetting me a lot. My brothers say, '' Are you mad, he's( my cousin) just your brother!!'' My sister makes me feel the same with her husband. ''It's just him, don't go overboard''. At that moment, in a hurry, I cannot explain to them that he's my non mahram!

At home, many times, I have to be locked in for hours. I can't eat, drink or even use the wash room...he he!! Now going to the fridge wearing a niqaab can be ridiculous for them.

I wanna be a complete niqaabi. Now what do I do in such situations. Please note that the mixing of men and women won't stop here and men will enter without permission.

My mom understands but she cannot do anything about it.

How do I give an answer to people who tell me, ''It's just him!''

How do I respond when people remind me of my sinful past just to make me feel as if I am still worthless.

I am a very shy person and I am always wondering what the other person is thinking about me.
I avoid most of the parties and gatherings and parties, but I can't avoid all ( if my father asks me to come etc.)

At parties, it's a very ''wrong'' thing if you DONT wear makeup according to people, so you have to be well dressed too!!!
I am very scared of showing off in matters of religion, and I my mother has clearly told me that wearing gloves ( and niqaab infront of relatives) is showin off..
I know in my heart how hard I try not to show off..!!

Please help.

Dear Sis,
MashaAllah, it’s wonderful that you decided to do research and have decided to wear nicaab. :D May Allah keep you steadfast and make it easy for you.

Now, let’s just say I was smiling from ear to ear when I saw your question. No, I don’t enjoy other people’s pain and I’m not belittling what you’re going through. It’s just that I can really and boy do I mean R.E.A.L.L.Y. relate to what you’re asking. I know how tough it is. But you know what- we’re going to try our best to help you.

The truth is I understand both sides…where you’re family is coming from and where you are. In this post 9/11 world, the word ‘extremism” just keeps bouncing around…. But how do we truly know whether we’re becoming extreme or just taking a deeper interest in Islam?

It’s simple.

We return to the Quran, Sunnah, and the example of the Righteous Predecessors. We can’t just decide ourselves. And that’s where most people get a little confused, including your family. (This is actually one of the big issues if you can clear up, everything else should get a little easier. )

Let me give you an example to make it a little clearer. . I mean, if you told your classmate, Jessica, for example: “Hey Jess. You know- no matter how irritating my mother is to me…even if she like uses vulgar language with me… or she gives me an unrealistic list of chores…as a Muslim, I’m not allowed to roll my eyes at her, let alone say “Ugh”. That’s considered a major sin.” You know what Jess might call that?
Extreme.

But the Quran clearly tells us that’s not the case (I’m sure you’re familiar with that verse in surat Al Isra since most parents love to recite it ;)).

Another example… What if you tell your Muslim friend that when she’s making wudoo, she needs to be very careful to make sure she gets everything wet properly and that if she leaves the space of a quarter dry, her wudoo isn’t actually right. Your friend might mistakenly tell you: Hey, that’s extreme. Allah is Merciful. He’s not going to judge us on something as small as that.

But the Prophet (sallah Allah alayhee wa salaam) told us very frankly in a hadith that it’s not acceptable.

One final example, I promise. Let’s say you told your dad you want to change your life and from now on, you’re going to try your best to fast a day, then skip a day and so on so on. Your dad might tell you: That’s pretty extreme. But according to the Prophet (sallah Allah alayhee wa salaam) that’s the way Dawood (alayhee as salaam) used to fast and it was actually the best kind of fast.

My point in all of this: that what defines extremism isn’t us. It’s whether or not the action would have been approved by the Prophet (sallah Allah alayhee wa salaam). And we know whether something would have been approved by looking at the Quran, at his own sunnah, and at the best examples there are (the Companions and their followers).
I know you know all of this, but you need to try to bring this up with your family because if you can get them to see this point, you’ve already won half the battle. Again, the idea is doing extra good deeds approved by the Prophet (sallah Allah alyahee wa salaam) and scholars of the ummah, isn’t extreme. Praying sunnah isn’t extreme, right? Fasting on Monday and Thursday isn’t extreme either, right? Similarly, wearing nicaab isn’t extreme. Yes, some scholars think that it isn’t obligatory- but that makes it 'extra', not 'extreme'. At the very least you are doing what is considered an ‘extra credit’ kinda thing- a bonus project! Ma’shaAllah.

So what should you do when your family tells you: Hey, it’s just your cousin, or your brother-in-law, etc. If you’re sure you want to wear nicaab, then the most important thing is that you don’t take it off so you don’t give your family mixed signals. Why is it so important? Because the minute you’ve taken it off, you have given your family the impression the nicaab is negotiable. The next time X passes by, your family is going to pressure you to take it off again and they’re probably going to use the fact that you took it off last time as ammunition. They can’t understand how serious you are about it unless you find it within yourself to decline to take it off.
What else?

It’s time to get your Quran out. I’m serious. In a very respectful manner, tell your family that you understand they think you’re being a little extreme but you’d like to have a chance to explain your position. Then, pull out the Quran or a translation of the meanings of it and open up to Surah-An Nur, Ayah 31. Have them read the aya and very gently point out that this ayah gives all of the exceptions.

And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire (elderly men), or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful

Subhan Allah- Allah didn’t leave us to guess who to wear hijaab/ nicaab in front of. This is one of the most detailed ayahs in the Quran. It very clearly explains who can see a woman’s beauty and who can’t, including elderly men and young boys. Does it include cousins? Nope. Brother-in-laws? Nope again. Is this important? Definitely- when you think about it, actually, Allah didn’t just leave us with a hadith or one of the Companion’s explanations. He spoke about this matter directly and He included it in His Quran. That’s how important it is.

The next thing you need to do is to take your sister on the side and explain that you are really uncomfortable with your brother-in-law entering unannounced. Tell her that you know he thinks of you as a younger sister but rules are rules and this rule was put down by Allah, the Creator, who knows us best. Remind your sister there is a very serious hadith about inlaws.

The Prophet (sallah Allah alayhee wa salaam) said, ‘Brother-in-law is death”.
(Bukhari)

Death! That’s how serious it is. Again, tell her it isn’t anything personal but you don’t want anyone to be upset on the Day of Judgment. If she seems really hurt or surprised, you can soften the blow by emphasizing how Islam is such a practical religion that the Prophet (sallah Allah alyahee was salaam) told us to separate between brothers and sisters in the bedroom (we’re talking real brothers this time,lol) when they reach age 10. At the end of the day, all you’re asking for is for your brother-in-law to knock on the door and give you time to dress appropriately. That’s not really that much. If your sister still doesn’t seem convinced/ cooperative, tell her that you’re sorry but you are going to have to lock the door.

Next thing…you need to talk to your brother about your cousin. Again, remind him that as Muslims, we’re supposed to submit completely to Allah’s Commands. Remind him that as much as you might not think of your cousin sexually, he still isn’t your brother and there are limits. In a firm but gentle manner, ask him to respect the fact you’re trying your best to please Allah and you would like his support.

As for your cousins being scared of you—well, obviously since they’re not your mahrams, theyshouldn’t be hanging out with you as a buddy anymore, right, but I do understand how painful it must be to have your family treating you as someone scary. All you have to do is keeping wearing it. They’ll get used to it! It takes time…but soon, they won’t get into a full blown panic when they see you.

About showing off…. MashaAllah! It’s great that you’re so worried about it. The truth is it seems to me that you are not a show off because a show off wouldn’t care if they were a show off, now would they? I hate to disagree with your mother and I mean no disrespect, but I don’t think that wearing gloves is ‘showing off’. Showing off is something that is in your heart- if you sincerely believe that you are the best and that everyone else is a sinner and is ‘beneath’ you, then you’ve got a problem…but if you are just trying to follow an opinion that nicaab and wearing gloves is obligatory/wajib/a good extra thing to do, all you’re showing is commitment to Allah. You’re struggling in His path…just keep checking your heart and inshaAllah you’ve got nothing to worry about!

Finally, don’t listen to those people who keep putting you down because you didn’t have a perfect past. Tell them you know you weren’t exactly a role model, but you’re trying now to change and you hope they can help. Remind them that some of the Sahaba (alayhum as salaam) had their own problems in the past but with Allah’s Guidance, became the best people. I mean the people in the Prophet’s time used to say it was more likely for Omar’s (Radiya Allah anhoo) donkey to become Muslim than him to embrace Islam…and look at who Omar (radiya Allah anhoo) ended up becoming! The man the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alahyee wa salaam) said would have been a prophet if there was supposed to be a messenger after him (alayhee as salaam). This link might also help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAgR9u4HCBc&feature=channel

Wishing you all the best and may you be among those whom Allah shades on the Day of Judgment,

Your Sis,



p.s. An example of ‘extremism’, in case you’re wondering, would be like deciding to do ghusl/take a bath for every prayer.

Other examples in this hadith:

Narrated Anas bin Malik: A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven."

Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever.” The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast.“ The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever."
Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)."

Another hadith:

Anas ibn Malik (Radiya Allah Anhoo) reports: “The Prophet ﷺ came one day into the mosque and found a rope stretched between two pillars. He asked what the rope was for. He was told that it was put up for Zainab, so that she would hold on to it during her prayer when she felt too tired. The Prophet said: ‘No. Take it off. Let everyone pray when they feel fresh and comfortable. When they feel tired, they should sit down.’” (Bukhari)

p.s.s Jazaki Allah sis for your kind words about the blog. We love meeting new sisters and we’re glad to have met you!

Read more...

Niqabi who Needs a Little Boost

Asalamualaikum lil aunty :)
man .. it's so nice to see someone cheerful after so long.,mashaAllah, may Allah(swt) keep you that way. I've been trying to put that act on myself. but shaytan keeps poking at me. I started wearing niqab July 4th, so not too long ago. But, i did try to wear it before. . . BUT shaytan was, has been and will forever be poking at me! I and so, i had my phases of being "part-time" and even "not at all" niqabi and i did not like the feeling of regret that i had to go through and i definitely do not want to go thorugh it again! i don't know what to do! There are just so many things to think about. I'm going to grade 12 in September. I'm nervous about going with niqab. Alhumdulillah, I recently completed a course of the Qur'an and it's been the best thing in my life and will forever be! But i'm so pathetic that even after that i have so many excuses, i think it's all shaytan and my nafs. I start doing something good but then later i doubt wheteher i should have started to do it in the first place (niqab in this case) There's a lot of indirect pressure from my family and that is the worst kind! I'd rather have them speak their mind to me about what they want and how they want it rather than being secretive. Please Help!

Dear Niqabi who needs a little boost,

MashaAllah, I’m really impressed with you for thinking about wearing the nicaab. That’s not an easy decision to make! It takes a lot of guts especially in today’s world which is constantly telling us to flaunt more and to wear less. Hats off to you:D Also, that’s wonderful that you completed a Qur’an class! Ma’shaAllah!

Now, about your little question….you know me, though… I’m going to have to give it to you straight. It’s not going to be easy, especially since you wore it before but took it off. This time people aren’t just going to be a little rude; they’re going to be a little cynical. Does that mean I think you should just forget about it?! Of course, not. But I want you to be prepared. If you really want to do this, you need to think about what was it that made you take it off last time? And you’re going to have to ask yourself: Are you ready to handle these things this time? Is your faith deeper, this time? And is your personality stronger?

The next thing you have to do is to face the “pressure button pushers”. You said that your family indirectly tries to pressure you about your decision. Why don’t you take the initiative to bring out their concerns directly? I mean why should you guys keep skirting around the elephant in the room? It’s not going to get any smaller, now, is it? Tell your parents, for example, or whoever it is that’s pressuring you that you want to discuss the issue with them honesty and openly. (If they’re really busy people, don’t be afraid to schedule a time. It might seem a little weird but it gives them a chance to prepare themselves and that way you make sure you have their full attention… A dad who’s looking at his watch /mobile the whole time and a mom who keeps running into the kitchen to check on the oven isn’t exactly a very encouraging audience) Then, ask them what it is that really bothers them… While they’re talking, truly listen. Listen between the lines and then when they’ve finally explained all of their concerns, address them one by one in a polite way.

In order for this to work, there are a couple of really important things:

You need to be sure of yourself and you need to have a good answer as to why you chose to wear the nicaab. Telling your parents “I just feel like it” isn’t going to cut it. It has to be something deeper than that. Remember, however, that the issue of nicaab is controversial. One of the biggest problems women who want to wear nicaab face is the fact that whenever they discuss their choice with others, they focus on proving how the nicaab is obligatory. The reality, however, is that there is controversy over it. And what usually happens is that the other side spends the whole time trying to prove that it isn’t obligatory. Basically, it ends up becoming a boxing match and everyone walks away unhappy. The best thing for you to do is to admit that there is a controversy over it but that you believe either way (whether it’s fard or sunnah), you’ll be getting ajar and strengthening your relationship with Allah. You can remind them of this hadith:

Abu Huraira reported that the Prophet said, "Allah said: My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him.."

This way you show them that you have researched the issue carefully and know exactly what you’re getting into.

You’re also going to have to have some pre-rehearsed answers to their concerns because let’s face it…at “ The Moment”, most of us don’t sound that eloquent/ logical especially if we’re hurt or upset by what’s being said. You don’t want to sound like you’ve memorized your answers but you do want to sound like you’ve thought about their concerns seriously. So get out a paper and write down what you think bothers them about the nicaab and then think of good ways of answering those concerns…They’re probably worried about your career, chances of getting married, etc. Be prepared to reply- (Show that you’ve thought of a career that won’t be hindered by nicaab such as working as a teacher in an Islamic school/ working at home…. As for marriage: tell them that the kind of brother you want to be with is someone who will respect the nicaab)

You also need to make it clear that taking the niqab off didn’t make you feel ‘any better’. They might have assumed that when you took it off, that’s it, you were finally coming ‘back to your senses’. You need to explain that rather than making you feel good about yourself , you felt like you had made a big mistake and now you’re really sure about your decision.

At the end of your discussion, you should know your parents’ stand clearly. If they make it obvious that they’re really upset about this and absolutely don’t want you to wear it (or for example: tell you they want you to wait until after you graduate), you need to realize that some scholars have said that making your parents happy is more important than wearing the nicaab since there is CONTROVERSY over the nicaab. I capitalized that so no one misunderstands what I’m saying. At the end of the day, many scholars think the nicaab is sunnah but not a single scholar thinks that following our parents isn’t obligatory. Everyone agrees that bir al waladeen is obligatory; thus, we prioritize the obligatory action over what might not be. Now, if your parents are more relaxed about it and kinda have the attitude “Hey, we’re not so happy about this but it’s up to you”, then you should stand up to your decision.

There are going to be some other inconveniences, though….

Be prepared to deal with people who may not be so ‘willing to cooperate’ with you. Like who? Well, maybe the school administration. You might have to bring up the matter with them. They may say things like “How we will we know that it’s really you taking the test”, “etc.” and you’re going to have to work out some system with them. Remember, they may talk to you in a way that will really hurt your feelings- realize that it most likely isn’t a personal attack against you but a way for them to express their ‘fears’ about something they don’t understand (and also, don’t want spreading, lol).

What about driving? I wore niqab before I started driving, but for some reason, many people (including my driving instructor) would warn me about the dangers of driving with niqab. I never really understood that (since my glasses were actually hanging out of the eye slit which I thought showed that I could see everything), but if you haven’t gotten your license yet (and plan to), realize that you might find some difficulty there. Remember, with the issue of driving, people are concerned not only about your safety but about other people’s safety, so make sure to acknowledge that you are fully aware of the responsibility of driving.

What about ‘day to day’ difficulties you might have to deal with? Well, have you ever eaten in a restaurant with niqab? Now that, my friend, is an achievement! Do you have to keep your niqab on the whole time you’re eating? That goes back to your own ‘understanding’ of whether it is obligatory to wear or sunnah, right, but in terms of awkwardness, you might feel a little weird to enter a restaurant, uncover your face to eat, and walk back out again, covered. My advice for you is to 1) avoid ice cream cones, soup, and spaghetti (It’s isn’t a very pretty picture!). Haha, no, seriously, is to practice eating with the niqab at home and see how it goes. Also, you can always order take-out, etc. (but for me, because I didn’t want my family to feel that they would have to deal with the consequences of my decision, I continue to eat at restaurants …oh and my niqab eats with me :P)

Sneezing while wearing a niqab is also a nice challenge. Take it from me. I have allergies, LOL, so this was something ‘unexpected’ I had to deal with.

Since you already wear hijab, you might have noticed the ‘I’ll-talk- very-slowly”, phenomenon strangers tend have around hijabis…..with niqabis, though, the phenonmenon changes to “I- cannot- understand-what –you are-saying-because your mouth is covered-could you lift it up, please”? Yeah, all of a sudden, you’re going to find that you are the one who has to talk slowly and a little more clearly. Do I think that this really makes sense? Of course not. We all talk on the telephone and listen to the radio…we have telecommunications where we don’t see each other and we use them daily but this is something that you most likely will have to deal with.

Also, be prepared to become the “photographer”. If your friends like taking pictures, you might be a little surprised/ offended, but very often, niqabis are expected to be the ones who volunteer to take the shots- ALL the time.

You’re also probably going to encounter some very rude people. Do not stoop down to their level. The niqab isn’t about you and people. It’s about you and Allah. Don’t forget that. Comments like “Go back home”, “Say hi to Osama”, and “Can’t you just wear that at home?” are going to be shot at you. It helps to remember this : (Surahata Al Mutafafeen)

“Surely they who are guilty used to laugh at those who believe. (29) And when they passed by them, they winked at one another. (30) And when they returned to their own followers they returned exulting. (31) And when they saw them, they said: Most surely these are in error; (32) And they were not sent to be keepers over them. (33) So today those who believe shall laugh at the unbelievers; (33)

Finally, it can get very hot! Be sure to pick a nice cloth- one that’s not too light/ too heavy. Avoid going out in really hot weather. And remember that any every single drop of sweat is going to be rewarded on the Day of Judgment.

These are just a few points to keep in mind. Don’t let them discourage you! You can do this but you want to do it the smart way. Remember, we are cheering for you and making dua that Allah keeps you steadfast. Keep in touch and let us know how it goes :)

 

&

Read more...