Why Am I Not Tested Enough?

This is going to sound a little strange, but I feel that my life is not tested enough. I have heard over and over again that Allah loves those whom He tests. What if you feel like you don't have any test. Does this mean that Allah doesn't love me?
Worried,

It doesn’t feel strange at all. :) Thanks for the great question.

So you ask if you’re being tested enough. Well, sister, it really depends on what your definition of “tests” are. Generally whenever we think of tests, we may think of calamities, suffering, natural disasters, etc. Agreeably, these are examples of tests.

“And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.)” Surah Al-Baqarah 2:155]

So being patient in these types of tests is best for us. However, tests aren’t limited to only this type. Likewise, patience is not limited to only in times like these.

As Muslims we know that this whole life is a test for us. So every moment we are being tested, even in times of ease. Yes, even things we may consider blessings like family, children, wealth may at the same time constitute as tests for us in one way or another and require our patience.


Allah Subhanoo Wa' tala says:

O you who have believed, let not your wealth and your children divert you from remembrance of Allah . And whoever does that - then those are the losers. (Surah Al-Munafiqun 63:9)

Similarly:

O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. (Surah Al-Taghabun 64:14)

He also says:

And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, "My Lord has honored me." (Al Fajr, 89: 15) 

As you can see from these verses, Allah's favors are also a test for us: you are being tested how you will respond with these favors, how you will use them for Allah's sake.... Will you let them draw you closer to Allah or  distract you away from Allah ?

In fact, we are told of a very important story in the Qur'an. The story of Qarun who Allah tested by giving an abundance of wealth.

And We gave him (Qarun) of the treasures, that of which the keys would have been a burden to a body of strong men. Remember when his people said to him: "Do not exult (with riches, being ungrateful to Allah). Verily Allah likes not those who exult (with riches, being ungrateful to Allah). "But seek with that (wealth) which Allah has bestowed on you, the home of the Hereafter, and forget not your portion of lawful enjoyment in this world,' and do good as Allah has been good to you, and seek not mischief in the land. Verily, Allah likes not the Mufsidun (those who commit great crimes and sins, oppressors, tyrants, mischief-makers, corrupters)." He said: "This has been given to me only because of the knowledge I possess." Did he not know that Allah had destroyed before him generations, men who were stronger than him in might and greater in the amount (of riches) they had collected? [Al Qassas 76-]

  Besides the fact that times of ease are also times of tests, there is also much more to patience than times of difficulties. Yes,  moments of calamity call for our patience, BUT there is more to this, and we need to practice patience in other ways.

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “There are three types of patience: Firstly, practicing patience to fulfill the obligations and to do righteous. Secondly, abstaining from evil and prohibited acts. And thirdly, practicing patience during times of hardship without complaints.”

From this we gather that patience is of three types:

1) Patience in fulfilling obligations and continuing to do good deeds.
2) Patience in staying away from wrong.
3) Patience during hardships and calamities

I think, what you were talking about was the last type: patience in times of distress. And, so naturally you’re worried that since you feel like you haven't really had to endure this type of patience, that you are not being tested enough. It is true that AllahSWT tests those whom he loves. However, it doesn't mean that AllahSWT doesn't love you because as you just read, there are other types of tests/patience.

Let’s go over the different types of patience in more detail

1) Patience in fulfilling obligations and continuing to do good deeds.

"So hasten towards all that is good". (2:148)

Examples of this type of patience include: praying salah, paying zakat, fulfilling rights of family, etc. These are all part of our obligations.

Allah says: “And seek help in patience and As-Salah and truly it is extremely heavy and hard except for humbly submissive [to Allah ]” [Surah Al-Baqarah 2:45].

Additionally, continuing to do good deeds falls under this type of patience. As we know, keeping up a good deed means we have to persevere and strive to do it. Whether it be reading Qu'ran, waking up for Tahajjud, giving Sadaqah, any of these extra deeds requires our patience. The best part is, it doesn't matter how small they may be, as long as we try to be consistent. 

Rasulullah saw said: "The deeds most loved by Allah (are those) done regularly, even if they are small." (Bukhari, Muslim)

So sister, here are some examples of extra good deeds. Start a small deed and try to be regular in doing it. Then slowly you can add on to it. In times of ease, we have extra time to do more good deeds. 

Remember this Hadith:

“Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death”
(Narrated by Ibn Abbas and reported by Al Hakim)

Yes, sometimes we may have calamities to turn us back to Allah, but also in times of ease, we can display patience by being grateful. In our youth, we are also usually at the peak of our health, we have more time and, less responsibilities. On top of that, if we're living in a safe place where we don't have to worry about poverty and hunger, then we are even more blessed. Can you imagine how we have more opportunities for doing good in this state than if we were lacking these? That's why, it's important that we take advantage of this time. 

AllahSWT says:

By time, Indeed, mankind is in loss, Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Surah Asr).

2) Patience in staying away from wrong.

We are all aware how staying away from wrong deeply requires our patience. We are struggling against our nafs. 

Say, "My Lord has only forbidden immoralities - what is apparent of them and what is concealed - and sin, and oppression without right, and that you associate with Allah that for which He has not sent down authority, and that you say about Allah that which you do not know." (Surah A'raaf 7:33).

 And so, for staying away from evil things and going against our desires, we can get rewarded inshaallah.


3) Patience during hardships and calamities

Finally, this is the last type of patience, the one we are most familiar with. 

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return."Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided. (2:155-157).

As Muslims, we may be tested with hardships and calamities. Even if someone isn't going through a calamity now, they may later on. In this situation, we are called upon to be patient by not complaining. It is also important to remember this about calamities:

“No calamity occurs, but by the permission of Allah, and whosover believes in Allah, He guides his heart. And Allah is the All-Knower of everything” [Surat at-Taghabun 64:11]

Ibn Kathir said about this Verse: Whoever suffered an affliction and he knew that it occurred by Allah’s Judgement and Decree, and he patiently abides, awaiting Allah’s reward, then Allah guides his heart, and will compensate him for his loss in this life by granting guidance to his heart and certainty in faith. Allah will replace whatever he lost for Him with the same or what is better. Ali ibn Abi Talhah reported from Ibn Abbas: ‘… and whosever believes in Allah, He guides his heart.’ Allah will guide his heart to certainty. Therefore, he will know that what reached him would not have missed him and what missed him would not have reached him” [Al Mubarakpuri, Sheikh Saifur-Rahman, tafsir ibn Kathir (Abridges) vol 10 (Riyadh, Darussalam, 2000), pp 24-25]

Also this is another great reminder for us to become hopeful even when going through calamities.

“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” [Surah ash-Sharh 94: 5-6]

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As you can see from all these examples, as Muslims, we are being tested in every moment of our lives. You can display patience not just during calamities but also day-to-day, regularly. Every time you stay away from something prohibited, every time you sacrifice your time to do something extra good, you are displaying patience.

Ok, sister, I hope this helped. May we love AllahSWT and be loved by Allah, inshallah.

<3.

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Time Flies!

Assalaam o Alaikum. I have a BIG problem, no matter how much i try i can't stop myself from wasting time and so i end up not being punctual. i don't go to classes on time. i miss appointments. i get to them late. I know how precious time is, and that i will be questioned on its use, but i can't get myself to get to placees on time. i drive, and my university is at a 5 minute drive from home!!!! :( :( this is a desperate call, coz i'm beginning to lose trust in myself and so my confidance when making promises.... please help me out with baby steps i should take for me to get punctual.
Also, i usually miss praying Fajr on time. i pray it when i wake up to go to uni. i sleep late, coz im doing assignments and stuff, then i can't or don't wake up for Fajr, and so i pray when i wake up... i get so confused with what to do. i study late into the hight, because i come back from uni in the evening at around 5 or 6.. and then it takes me time to get started on studying, and so i start late, and then end late. which leads to me missing out on fajr!! :( :( :( :( 
Please pray for me, and if there's anything i should be doing, or a certain way i should be thinking PLEASE do let me know! JazakamUllah hu khairun! You ladies are doing an AWESOMMMEEE job! MashaAllah! :) :) :) 
Hope

Wa laykum salaam dear sis, 

I'm really glad that you've noticed something in your lifestyle that can be changed for the better, and that you've picked it out to improve, mashaAllah, I think we can all take a leaf out of your book there and do that. :)

You're absolutely right, timekeeping and organising your time is sooo important to become well-rounded muslims who keep control of their life, instead of their life controlling them. Islam teaches us to be punctual- think about how are our prayers are by the 'dot', our fasts also, and Hajj. Everything has a prescribed time and it's so important that we learn to manage our time.


So let's go through this systematically. 

1) Punctuality - missing classes/appointments/meetings:

In any aspect of life, punctuality is key for success. But don't worry, it's not that hard to acquire in your life if you make an effort to do so. Some things you can do to be more punctual for classes etc.;

- Do everything 30 minutes earlier. So, write on your timetable (if you don't have one, make one, but more on that later :P), that your classes start 30 minutes earlier than they actually do. Make this stick in your mind. When you make an appointment, write down the time and place on a calendar or in your phone, but write down the time as at least 15 minutes earlier than the real time. And you know what? Use your cellphone and put 'reminders'. Again, 15 minutes earlier. 

- To get yourself in the habit of doing this, set your watch/phone clock 5 minutes earlier! Remember to keep at least one access to the real time so you pray at the right time. And only do this for about a week! Just to get yourself in the habit of doing things earlier - it's a psychological trick which sometimes, might just do the trick! :P


- Have your friends 'message you'/ 'pass by' you so you can get to class on time. As you start to get on top of your schedule, it's always best to get some outside help. So, since you live sooooo close to your uni, ask your friends to text you/ ring you/ whatever to make sure that you're there on time. 


- Ask yourself: what makes you late? Are you late because you take a long time to plan your outfit? Plan the whole week's outfit during the weekend! Really. It is such a time saver.

2) Confidence in self - making promises

It's understandable that you feel your confidence is taking a bump - but once again, don't think that this is going to be forever! You should do the following; make a list of all the engagements for the following week. If you have 20, let's say. Which includes classes, meetings, appointments and anything else. You must be punctual for at least 75% of them. So if you have 20, you've got to be on time to at least 15 of them. If you are, then treat yourself inshaAllah on the weekend somehow. I personally feel a tub of chocolate icecream is a perfect treat, but do anything which you think you can aspire to build towards. When you make promises to people, make sure you think about it, and instead of saying 'I will be there', you could say, 'I will try my best, and will let you know closer to the time, inshaAllah'.

-Always say Insha'Allah! Even if it's something tiny. Like, 'I'm going to get milk, I'll be 10 minutes inshaAllah' Enforce this habit in your daily life and you'll be remembering Allah a lot more, inshaAllah, and you'll also be saying that whatever you do - it is Allah's will for whatever happens.

3) Fajr! - 'Prayer is better than sleep!'

I can understand it's a sort of knock-on affect, with the source being uni assignments, right. You could try to stay at uni in the library or study areas and plan your assignments there while you're still in the 'working mood'/'atmosphere'. So when you start them when you get home, the thinking and planning is already done, and you can get simply get stuck-in. Planning may take more time, but it ensures you use your time properly - which actually saves time in the long run!!

-Fighting Fajr Fatigue: Set your alarm and hide it somewhere in your room. Under the bed, on the top shelf, in your wardrobe. Be ruthless!  Then, when it goes 'beepbeep!' and annoys you until your hair stands on end, you will have to get out of bed and get to it. By the time you're out of bed, you should be able to fight to keep yourself out and make your way to make wudhu, inshaAllah. 

Get your family involved! Have them wake you up. Or your friends message you. You can even leave some mouth watering amazing chocolate outside of your room to tempt you. Try everything!

This article is GREAT on getting up for Fajr! Check it out here!

Also, it might be an idea to try to change your sleeping habits, another great article here!

4) This isn't directly to do with anything you asked, but I think it might help. Like you know, organisation is key. Apparently, organising can even drop stress levels! This is what you can do to organise your tasks and life more effectively, inshaAllah.

-Write things down!; It's been proved that when you write something down, it becomes more embedded in your mind too. Also, it gives you the chance to look over things, so you don't forget and also can give a sense of achievement when you tick it off. (: So my advice to you, would be to invest in a simple notebook. Keep this solely for planning. Every morning (after fajr, inshaAllah!!), write down all the things to do. Here's an example from my life;

Things to do:

Fajr

Qur'an translation

School-Physics

School-French
School-Graphics

School Council Meeting (Print notes)

Dhuhr

Ask about homework

Buy Science revision book

Asr

Relax/Write

Maghrib

Physics homework

French speaking preparation

Make mindmap on History topic

Isha

Dinner

Qur'an

Sleep Routine

Try to write all the tasks for the day in chronological order, slotting in prayer times too. That's an easy way to embed Salah in your lifestyle if you have trouble with doing it on time.

Now, on the other side of the paper, write down a timetable for the day. So from my tasks list I would take everything and put it in like this:

-Fajr and English Quran (until 7am)

-School (until 4pm)

                              -Dhuhr

                              -Physics/French/Graphics

                              -Meeting (print notes)

                              -Ask about homework

                              -School shop (for revision book)

-Get home and pray Asr (until 4.30pm)

-Relax/Write/Snack (until 7pm)

-Maghrib and chores(until 7.30pm)

-Homework and school work (until 8.30pm)

-Isha

-More homework and school work (until 10pm)

-Qur'an

-Sleep routine (bed no later than 11pm)

Insha'Allah.

Keep the paper/notebook with you during the day and look back to it. Give yourself deadlines, but make them flexible enough for you to follow them.

If you can't follow your plan, don't worry, adjustments can be made to fit circumstances and that's fine. 

Lastly, this technique of the 5s' can be useful too!

Look at this technique too;

Stephen Covey writes about prioritising. For every task, put it in each of these quadrants. You want to avoid all quadrants except for Number 2. Covey says to spend most time in this quadrant so not to be driven by the tyranny of urgency!

When things become 'urgent' it means you've left them too late. So an assignment in for tomorrow would fit into Quadrant 1. But it shouldn't have become urgent in the first place - it should have been done earlier.

Quadrant 3 is doing things such as watching the new episode of your favourite series. It's urgent because it's on right now! But it's not important.

Quadrant 4 is where you don't want to be treading! It's doing things which aren't important, nor do they require urgency.

It's just something to think about when you're doing something. Ask yourself these questions, just to make sure you're using your time with the right tasks inshaAllah.

Lastly, if Allah wills, you will. Don't lose hope, just try again and again and again - and even again, inshaAllah.

Pray to your Lord for more productive habits, and keep praying. You'll get there eventually if you keep praying even when it seems there is no hope. There always is, so smile (:

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