What if I Take it Off?!
>> Friday, October 1, 2010
assalamualaikumDear WHAT if I Take it oFf?
Maybe i should ask this question to myself first before sharing it with you and yes I did but I still haven't have any answer to it,anyway I have this nawaitu in me saying that I wanna wear hijab but there's always this little thought in me saying what if one day I stop wearing it again just to look more prettier,to showoff my hair and all. what if it wont last long to wear this hijab? so tell me my dear little auntie..guide me with this..I wanna wear it but I'm scared it won't last long.
What if I take it off?!
First of all, hun, I love how you said that you maybe should ask yourself this question first. Sometimes, it’s really hard to ask ourselves these questions because deep down inside we know the answers, don’t we? But you know what? The fact that you realize that the answer at the end will really come from you…well that’s a really good sign, Ma’sahallah.
And of course the fact that you WANT to wear hijab…..that’s fantastic!
Of course, I can understand that you hear that tiny little voice. I remember that voice. And even though it’s really tiny, it’s kinda loud, isn’t it? “What if? What if I take it off? What if I look ugly in it? What if…” Yeah, Little Ms. Annoying Pants (that voice) is pretty loud!
But you know what? You have to realize that “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.
You know what that means? It means we have nothing to be scared of but being scared of something. You know why? Because 'fear' prevents us from doing anything, from progressing, from moving from one place to another.
Fear paralyzes us.
We will never know the future- if we fear what we’re going to do ‘next’, we’re never going to do anything! Think about it. Do you ever say, “I’m not going to pray maghrib because I may not feel like praying next month” Or: I’m not going to fast Ramadan because maybe a few years from now I’m going to get thirsty and break my fast?
I highly doubt it!
Here’s another example. Let's say I were to tell you, in order for you to get to grade 12, you have to finish grades 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11, and only then can you start grade 12. Would you tell me, but I'm scared I'll start going to school and then in grade 5 or 8, I'll wanna drop out, so I'm not going to go to school?
Would that really make sense? No! I bet you would tell me, "But if I don't go to school, I won't have a successful life". Even if you were to ever feel like dropping out because of all the tests, homework, annoying people at school and drama, you wouldn't, right? Because you understand the importance of your education with the rest of your life.
What about the importance of obeying Allah's commands with your life? In the after life? (Please don’t think I am saying that the hijab is the only thing that we Muslims do, though.)
You have to realize that this fear that you have is most likely coming from Shaytan. He’s preying on your tiny little worries. You know why? Cause Shaitan doesn't want you to listen to Allah, just like he didn't. He doesn't want you to do what Allah has commanded, but he knows that you wouldn't listen to him if he were to tell you straight out "Don't wear hijab", so instead, he uses a different tactic. He whispers to you, "No, no if you wear it, you're gonna take it off. You're gonna be ugly. You're gonna..."
So you know what you have to do? You don't listen to him. You ask Allah to help you, guide you and protect you from his whispers. You ask Allah to keep you steadfast when you wear it. Every time you pray and you say in surat Al Fatiha, "Guide us to the straight path" (Ihdinasirat al mustaqeem), mean it! And when you say Ameen, be sincere. Allah will never ever let you down if you are sincere and truly want His guidance.
What's more, you have to 'redirect' this fear that you have. The thing that I told you in the beginning- that we have nothing to fear- isn't exactly right. We should have fear, but it should be fear of....ALLAH.'That should be the fear that directs your life, not the fear of whether or not something will happen in the future. Yes, Allah is the Most Merciful, but if reflecting on His Mercy doesn’t move you to be a better servant, then reflect on His Power and His ability to completely replace us all with servants who better worship Him, who place Him above their selves. Truly reflect on where He is right now in your life….What place does He hold?
And ask yourself- who created you pretty? Did you create yourself? Wasn't it Allah who created you beautiful? Doesn't He have the right then to decide who you show your beauty to?
More importantly, does wearing a scarf take away your beauty?
How could following what Allah has ordered you to do detract from your beauty? It doesn't actually change your beauty; it just guards it. Think about it this way- does the shell make the pearl ugly? Does it take away the pearl’s beauty? Or does it make it even more valuable?
The hijab is just like that shell. It doesn't erase your beauty. You’re still who you are- still beautiful- still a treasure! You are still the same gorgeous person that you are!
You’re just -hopefully- more conscious of Allah’s presence in your life. The truth is the hijab helps keep you in check. You said yourself that you might want to show off your hair. Showing off is a big thing in Islam, right? Wearing the hijab reminds you that you did not create yourself. You are not your own Lord. It reminds you of "Allahu Akbar". God is Greater.
So now what to do? I want you to really really go and buy some hijabs! Start taking some actions towards it and see how you feel. Tell your friends you want to wear it and throw a hijab party. For one thing, that will also make you think twice about 'taking it off', because you would have told everyone about it, lol.
I’ve also personally found that writing it down can also help. Write down 'I will wear Hijab'. Write it down a few times. Look at those words and believe in those words. Because I believe in you, and you should believe in yourself too. If you've already felt that you want to start observing Hijab then you've conquered the greatest mountain already. Now you're just near the top. And you know you can take the last step but the fear of falling is worrying you. But you've got so far, sis. I'm sure you can find the courage to take that last step. Don't be scared of what the future may hold, because to be honest, anything can happen, and we don't know. You just have to hold on to the fact that Allah is always, always, always with you.
The really important thing though is to not worry about what might or might not happen tomorrow and take everyday as it comes. It might be harder some days than others but this struggle is just making you stronger. And that Allah is simply testing you hun.
Be patient and don't stop trying to fight these fears...
"O, you who believe, Persevere in patience and constancy, vie in such perseverance; strengthen each other; and fear Allah; that you may prosper" 3:200
If you're patient and you persevere and try really hard to remain patient, if you keep your trust in The Most High but at the same time fear The Most High and Him alone, then will you prosper huni. And when Allah says you'll prosper it will be the best prosperity.
Remember that Allah is closer to you than your jugular vein, the veins in your neck, that close! With Allah always with you, you gotta take that last step.
Just say “Bismillah”- in the Name of Allah… the same way Prophet Nuh alyhee as salam said:
And [Noah] said, "Embark therein; in the name of Allah is its course and its anchorage. Indeed, my Lord is Forgiving and Merciful." (11: 41)
Well, sis, I believe you can do this! I promise you that it will become a part of you, if you give it a chance!
Let me know if you need any more convincing, hehe, and in the mean time, please please join www.igotitcovered.org
You'll find lots of inspiration there, inshaAllah.
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4 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:
Nice advice. It is also important to adorn the hijab because you want to and are ready. Never do it for someone else or out of peer pressure because then you will surely lose interest in it after some time. Another thing, keep your iman strong and you will never want to let go of your hijab. You are more beautiful covered - like a treasure:)
I like the answer. Especially writing down your goal part. That really increases the power of an intention.
It also helps to consider that Allah is not only Merciful but also Just. He gives people points according to the effort they put in. The more stuff you do for Allah in different parts of your life, the more you get on His scoreboard. In college, you know how important it is to be in your teachers' good books. You know all the little things you do to get there. How about all the things you can do to get in Allah's good books? That is one of the thoughts that keeps me going. I find that I just need motivational thoughts to kick out those "waswasay" (whispers) of Shaitan. It also helps to know that they are waswasay in the first place. If you think that those doubts are coming from your own heart, you begin to wonder what happened to your personality. The waswasay only increase after you start observing purdah, so you really need those thoughts in there.
And something doesn't stop being beautiful just because it's no longer visible to the world. It's just "restricted access" ;)
i have asked myself this question a million times! I pray to Allah for the strength and guidance to make me a better muslimah, JezaakAllah kher for this post!
This is where the difficulties usually come in. For many sisters, it truly is a jihad. I remember very vividly how scared I was the first day I put on the headscarf and went out into public. As long as you are just wearing the modest clothes, nobody has to know that you are a Muslim. Once you complete your hijab with the headscarf, you are suddenly announcing to everyone who sees you that "I am a Muslim". Here is some advice based on my own experiences.
Wear it for the sake of Allah SWT
Various statements are made about why you should wear hijab, such as for modesty or for protection, but the real reason that we wear hijab is that Allah SWT has commanded it. Whenever anyone asks you, why do you dress like that, that's the only answer you need to give them.
Wear it for the hope of Jannah
Allah SWT makes tests for us in this world. He makes things difficult for us. He wants to see if we will remember Him, if we will have faith in Him, and if we will trust in Him. These qualities are what is meant by "sabr".
So that's what you should set your mind to. Yes, it's difficult to wear hijab. You may be rejected by your family or your friends, you may face harassment and persecution or be fired from your job. These are very scary thoughts. But if you have sabr and keep trusting in Allah SWT, I swear to you sister, this is the path to Jannah, and when you look back on the Day of Qiyamah you will know that it was worth it and have no regrets.
Wear it today and trust in Allah SWT for tomorrow
What do I mean by that? What I mean is that you should take it one day at a time, or even one outing at a time. Sometimes the future seems to stretch on forever and ever and you don't think you can make it that long. You want to give up before you even begin.
So sometimes the best thing to do is to keep you mind focused on what is immediately at hand. Allah SWT will take care of the future. If you have to go out to the market, then concentrate on being able to wear hijab just for this activity and on getting through it. If you do get through it and nothing bad happened, then give thanks to Allah SWT for making it easy for you, and turn your mind to your next outing.
Or if you have to go out to school or work, then concentrate on being able to wear hijab just for this one day and on getting through it. And give thanks to Allah SWT when you have made it, and turn your mind to the next day.
Eventually the outings will turn into days and the days into weeks, and the weeks into months. One day you will realize that you have been wearing hijab for quite a long time and it isn't really as bad as you feared, and Allah SWT helped you get through it. Don't be ashamed. Sometimes it is like this. The most important thing is to have sabr and keep your trust in Allah SWT always.
Wear it and spite the shaytan
My dear sister, the worries and fears in your mind are the whisperings of the shaytan. He wants to talk you out of obeying Allah SWT.
It is very easy to keep going around in circles in your mind and to dwell on all the things that could go wrong. I know that I myself have a tendency to do this, I put it off and I dither and I wait for "the perfect time". If I let myself, I would never do anything at all!
So the thing you have to remember is that you do not need to be perfect in iman to wear hijab. If perfection were a qualification, where is the sister who could wear it??
You must also not fall into the trap of thinking that you should wait until all your worries and fears have disappeared. They never will! Trust me on this, sister.
True courage is going ahead to do what's right even though you are still nervous and scared. So don't listen to the shaytan. Ignore the worries and fears he whispers into your mind. Tell him that you will not let him keep you from obeying Allah SWT and you will not let him rule your life.
Make the decision to wear it
Once you have come to know in your heart that you must wear hijab, then you have to set a day
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