>> Thursday, September 12, 2013
Asalamu aialkum! Well, first of all… CONGRATULATIONS to littleAunt's Wedding!! Mabrok mabrouk!! I am soo happy for her/you little Auntie!! ;)))))) *jumpy* I'll hug to this if I could! still… mabrouk!! Wishing you, only the BEST. =DAlright alright… I have this sister of mine who like you is getting married too.. But I think the difference is… she doesn’t like the guy. No. I’m SURE, she doesn't like the guy. (it’s a long story, when I say Long I mean REAL long) it starts with my grandmother, she’s the one who prefer that man for my sister.. Because, as I heard, of his parents. ( a distant relative which she dotes upon) there might not be a problem, except that; the guy smokes (my sister is asthmatic btw), drinks alcohol, and party loudly (although he’s a muslim), doesn't really have a job right now.. in short, not the kind of man you would willing to get married with.. Uh, yeah. There’s evidence already.. We've seen them but not virtually though) Pictures.. We've see pictures.. (Is it wrong that we did some digging? No offence to him.) We handed out those evidences that we gathered, to our grandmother and she was like.. ‘So? young people do stupid things” and was like “The wedding is STILL on! “ and we were like “!??????” yeah… we were SPEECHLESS. We thought our grandmother was processed or something. Kidding. I know, I’m sure she has a reason. But really!? My father tried to talk his mother out of this but, she wouldn't budge. She still thinks this is what’s best for my sister, for all of us. (I don’t see her point, really. Maybe you could?) My sister fought her battle with all her heart.. Tears after tears.. Swollen eyes after swollen eyes.. Eye bags after Eye bags (joke?).. She became someone else after she’s slowly realizing that this is a losing battle, She’s cranky all the time!. Sigh~ I could only pity her.. I wish I can help but.. I’m just a kid. Just a kid with nothing yet a say in this family. Here comes the problem… She accepted that she has to do It. She will have to be a sacrificial lamb. That there would be a wedding. but she claimed that she would never ever take part in consummating the marriage. That she’ll save her dowry for divorce. That she will act like there’s no wedding happened. Now, what should I say to her? Doing that is like a SIN, right? Once He become her husband, it’s customary the she obliged HIM no matter what, right? I don’t want her to commit this sin, If ever. Told you it’s a long story! This is not even the half of it. =D but I really need help, I love her and this kid want to help ... =( Concern bystander
First of all,our thanks a lot hunny bunny for your sweeet words =) Hug and LOVE received! Jazakillah khairyan <3 nbsp="">3>
Second of all, I was so so so sad to read what you wrote about your sister. Your grandmother really doesn't have the right to do that, at all. From what you've described, there is nothing whatsoever particularly to like or look forward to about this guy...(and no, that was totally completely correct to do a little digging! One should take 'bi al asbab' or use the means available to them when embarking on a big decision like marriage)...Maybe your grandmother finds his mistakes 'simple', but she's not the one marrying the guy.
So here's the thing....
At the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), a woman came to him and said, “My father has married me to my cousin to raise his social standing and I was forced into it.” The Prophet sent for the girl’s father and then in his presence gave the girl the option of remaining married or nullifying the marriage. She responded, “O Messenger of Allah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to show other women (that they could not be forced into a marriage).”
d) If all that fails for some reason, the day of the wedding, she can stand up and say "I'm sorry, but I cannot do this."
Please tell her this before it is too late!