Back then...

>> Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sometimes I feel like it's too hard to practice Islam correctly now. Everywhere we look- the movies, the magazines, the t.v., the Internet, everything is stocked with sinful things. If you look at the people before, like in the 1st and 6th centuries, they led such pure lives. So many times, I wish I was born back then when it was easier to be Muslim. Those people were so lucky. I sometimes wonder why Allah made me live in this time. Why couldn’t I have lived when they did and led a pure life like them?

Dearest Sis,

I'm sure all of us have had that thought cross our minds before. If only we could have lived with the Companions...If only we could have lived at the time with the Messenger Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam or the early generations. Everything would have been perfect then. We would have been perfect Muslims.

 But the question is...would we really?

Would everything really have been that easy?

Let's step back a moment and really picture what life was like back then. People back then didn't have running water or air condition. They didn't have paved roads, either. Imagine fasting in the desert with temperatures of 100 degrees Fahrenheit (40+ Celsius) and not having air condition. Imagine trying to just make wudu for the 5 prayers with no running water. Imagine walking on rocks/sand/mountains without proper shoes. There weren't any supermarkets, either…so getting food was a difficult process, too. Our beloved prophet, sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam certainly didn't eat the way we eat today:

Narrated 'Aisha:

The family of Muhammad did not eat two meals on one day, but one of the two was of dates.

 What else? Well, getting from one place to another took months…..And what about giving birth back then?

 And you know what?
 The concept that we have today of "freedom of religion" did not exist back then.  People fought for the right to believe with their lives...And, they fought for the protection of Islam WITH their lives.

Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allah. Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration - (Surat Al Ahzab 23)

 In fact, one of the companions Radiya Allah Anhoo felt that things were very difficult for them. He asked the Prophet why he didn't pray to Allah to grant them victory Think about that. Really think about it. The fact that the companion felt that the prophet should supplicate for them to have victory clearly shows that things were not easy back then. They were being sorely tested!
And wait...listen to what the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam responded with:

Abu 'Abdullah Khabbab ibn al-Aratt, said "We complained to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, while he was using his cloak as a pillow in the shade of the Ka'ba, saying, 'Why do you not ask for victory for us? Why do you not make supplication for us?' He replied, 'Among those before you there was a man who was seized and put in a hole in the ground which was dug for him. Then a saw was brought, put to his head and he was sawed in half. Then he was raked with metal teeth through his flesh and bones. None of that turned him from his religion. Allah will complete this business so that a rider will be able to travel from San'a' to Hadramawt fearing none but Allah and wolves against his sheep, but you want to make things happen too quickly." [al-Bukhari]

 There's another story, too that occurred during the time of Fira'wan (which some scholars have authenticated and some have considered "da'ef or week"...) But it goes like this:

It was narrated that Ibn Abbas radiAllaah anhu- said: The Messenger of Allaah -

sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: On the night on which I was taken on the Night

Journey, a beautiful fragrance came to me. I said: O Jibreel, what is this

beautiful fragrance? He said: This is the fragrance of the hairdresser of

Pharaoh's daughter and her children. I said: What is their story? He said:

Whilst she was combing the hair of Pharaoh's daughter one day, the iron

comb fell from her hand and she said, Bismillaah (in the name of Allaah).

The daughter of Pharaoh said: You mean my father? She said: No. My Lord

and the Lord of your father is Allaah. She said: I will tell him about that. She

said: Yes.

So she told him and he summoned her and said: O So and so, do you have a

Lord other than me? She said: Yes, my Lord and your Lord is Allaah. He

ordered that a cow made of copper be heated up, then he ordered that she

and her children be thrown into it. She said: I have a request to make of

you. He said: What is your request? She said: I would like my bones and my

children's bones to be gathered together in one cloth and buried. He said:

This will be done for you.

He ordered that her children be thrown into it in front of her, one by one,

until they came to the last one who was an infant boy who was still being

breastfed. It was as if she wavered because of him, but he said: O mother,

go ahead, for the punishment of this world is easier to bear than the

punishment of the hereafter. So she went ahead.

Can you honestly even picture that?

The truth is that back then people sacrificed their lives, wealth, children, money....everything to raise the flag of La ilaha illah Allah. Women woke up in the morning and buried their husbands, sons, and brothers in the afternoon.

You see, sister, the purpose of this life is to be a test. It was a test for them. And it was a test for us.

The Qur'an says:

  • "We will test you until We know the true fighters among you and those who are steadfast" (W47:30; H47:31)
  • "We will test you with a certain amount of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and life and fruits. But give good news to the steadfast," (W2:154; H2:155)
  •  Blessed be He in whose Hand is the Kingdom, He is powerful over all things, (1) who created death and life that He might examine which of you is best in deeds, and He is the Almighty, the Forgiving, (2) (Surat Al Mulk)

The truth is Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala chose the "best" time for each of us. Perhaps if we had been living in that time, we would have deserted the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam in Uhud, for example .

The other thing to consider is that that just as we have many opportunities to sin now, we also have equal opportunities to do good. These days, we can turn on the television and catch a lecture on an Islamic t.v. channel or website. We can search the whole of Sahih Bukhari with a click of our fingertips (Compare that to back then when they had to cross thousands of miles to learn what one scholar thought of a particular hadith). With our ipods, we can listen to the Qur'an wherever we go. With our cars, we can drive to a nearby mosque and pray Fajr/ Isha within minutes. We can start our days with an Islamic reminder on Facebook.

 I'm not denying the fact that we are bombarded with "opportunities" to sin, though. But I do want to point out that we also have many more tools available to us to allow us to do "good". The choice is ours.

 The last thing to consider is that the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam did tell us that a time would come when there would be many  moredifficulties but our reward would be much greater.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Ahead of you are days of patience, during which being patient will be like grasping a hot coal. The one who does good deeds then will have a reward like that of fifty people who do such deeds.” And, someone else added, they said: O Messenger of Allah, the reward of fifty of them? He said: “The reward of fifty of you (Companions)!” (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidh).

I don't know if we made it to that time or not, but the fact still remains that Allah is Just and He rewards us according to the difficulty of the tests we are given. (The greatness of the reward is related to the greatness of the trial…) Never ever forget that!
I also want to say one more thing. Even if you've lived a "not so pure life", or made a mistake, the door of repentance is open for you just as it was open for the people before us. Allah is All Merciful and Forgiving, and He doesn't expect "perfection" from you but that you do your best and turn back to Him. So just turn back to Him :)
With love,


Standing in the Way

I met this brother through a matirmonial website and we really clicked. I prayed istikhara so many times and really prayed for the best. We agreed right from the beginning that we both want MARRIAGE and no dating. We share the same Islamic values and are really similar in so many things. Well, after I was sure that this was the person for me and after he had already told his dad about me, I told my parents about him and they actually seemed to welcome the prospect. They are willing to meet the brother. The only problem is...his mother! She does not want him to get married because he has no degree, no career and no house.  Alhumdulliah he has a good job (not his career) but he is making good money, he is paying for his school, he only has a month or two left before he has completed his degree. And we were only planning to do an engagement first because I still haven't finished my degree, either. It's just really frustrating me. He is responsible and only Allah determines how much a person makes and what career.  He told me that his parents are materialistic and cultural. And he is different from his parents and tries to follow the sunnh and want to marry young and I as well want to get married to him. Yes we did not or I didn't have my parents involved right away and yes have family support is crucial..I know I was wrong in that, but now we're trying to fix it. His dad agrees and my parents. Why is his mother being difficult , making something halaal haram?! It's just the typical brown family unreasonable requirements only to impress other people :(, we are both devastated and he said he would try to talk to his parents again. My parents are expecting a phone call from his side, I dnt know what to tell my parents, and I don't want to lose him :(..I have been making so much dua for this situation to get better..

Dearest Heartbroken,
awww, sister! I really feel for you! What a difficult difficult situation you are in.You feel like you've finally found the person FOR YOU and yet...his mother is standing in the way. What's even stranger is that your parents understand his situation but for some reason, the "materialistic and cultural" problems are coming from his side!

So what can we say?
Well, while it can be very easy to point the [blame] finger on his mother, we do have to consider a number of things. First, that you did pray istikharah. You say that you prayed it a number of times. Well, hun, this could be istikhara at work. Remember, praying istikharah means that you ask Allah to make things easier for you if it is better for you and to distance it from you if it isn't good for you.
I know that right now you feel like "he's the one" and that "he is good for you", but when you pray istikhara, you should be turning the matter over to Allah to decide. Allah is All Knowledgeable and He, alone, knows if someone is good for you or not.  It's hard for me to type this and I know that you're probably not going to like this part, but the truth is...sometimes, you can be attracted to a person and share a lot of similarities with them, but they don't turn out to be the person for you.  Maybe this whole experience was meant to provide you with a "lesson" to learn....maybe this man was meant to play a different role in your life than that of your husband.

Second of all, maybe his mother really does know that her son is not financially ready or responsible for marriage, yet. Maybe she's worried that he's getting into too much than he can handle right now...and that he's dragging you into it, too. You say that he's a responsible person but you've only known him from what he's told you about himself...and you've only known her from what he's also told you about her. He told you that she's "materialistic and cultural" and he's given you an impression that he is responsbile....You really need to look into that. Is there any way you can verify that he does have how much he's told you? Can your parents call his workplace? How much have you relied on what he's told you and how much have you actually researched?

On the other hand, maybe it is the whole [what you described] "brown family" story. Maybe his mother has always had certain expectations and dreams for her son. You know, how much money he'll make, when he'll get married, and maybe even, who he'll marry or what kind of girl she'll be like and all of this is not going according to her plan. That's actually pretty normal of any parents...but the question is: to what extent does he play the role she wants?

He is a grown man, isn't he? How has he shown you that he can make his own choices?
In other words: What kind of solutions has he offered his mother? Has he offered you?

Has he explained to his mother that you are only discussing having an engagement for now? Did he try writing up a "plan" for when he's going to get married and "how" he's going to be able to support you? IF he didn't, why don't you suggest that he does make some sort of budget and that he shows it to his own mother and to your parents?
What else can he do? What about having the Imam of the mosque talk to his mother? Or maybe an aunt or someone else?
The other thing to consider though is can you deal with this kind of "family"/ this type of mother in law? You see, sister, marriage is not just about 2 persons coming together. In many ways it's about 2 families joining together. Would you be able to deal with this kind of personality or not?
And as for your parents waiting for a phone call....Tell him that. Explain to him that "now, you've involved your parents and would like further communication to be done with them, involved." That more private messaging and emails. It's time for everything to be out in the open. That should move him into action. If it doesn't, you'll get an idea of where you/and his marriage plans really stand now. Another possibility is that you decide to "delay" things for a bit. Maybe your father can make an agreement with him that he can come back in 6 months time/ after he's started his Masters and finished his degree and contact your family for marriage. In the meantime, you are free to look at other suitors, just in case it turns out he's not the one for you.
Well, sister, that's the best I can offer you. I hope the other sisters here can also offer you their advice on the matter. 
May Allah give you what is best!


Will I Ever Get It Back?

>> Monday, October 22, 2012


Do you get back what you sacrifice in the way of Allah? I gave up something very dear to me because I did not want to go against Allah's will. It was a very tough decision. Is it right to hope that Allah will give that thing back to you in the future when the time is right? I'm lost. I do not know whether to keep hoping & praying for it or not. It seems so impossible now.

Assalamualaykoum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhoo, Lost… (…but hopefully gonna find a way out ^.^)

 Before I begin, Sis, I want to tell you something: from reading your letter, I already believe  you made the right choice :) I sincerely understand how you feel, and I know it was really tough. You gave up something really dear to you for a wonderful purpose... yet a part of you still hopes that maybe, just maybe, you can still get it back...

I'm not going to come right out and say that you should "keep hoping and praying". And I'm not going to tell you to "give up hope since you'll never get back what you gave up", either. That really isn't for me to decide :) 

But you can read on, and in the end, hopefully you'll figure out the answer by yourself ^_^

Remember, Sis, when you give up something you love so much for the sake of Allah (SWT), there is no way he won't replace what you gave up for something even better.  Something you couldn't possibly imagine. Something so wonderful it will make you tear up when you think about how generous Allah is, although we make LOADS of mistakes everyday.

 The Prophet (PBUH) said: "If anyone leaves something for the sake of Allah (SWT), Allah will grant him something better than it."

Remember the story of Prophet Yusuf (PBUH)? The Prophet who was faced with all the temptations of this world... yet he chose to not fall for those temptations. Which, of course, was not at all easy! He sought refuge in Allah (SWT), and his Lord protected him. He preffered to be in prison rather than commit a regrettable action that was against Allah (SWT)'s will

He was patient, and chose the rewards of his Lord. Therefore, Allah (SWT) gave him better than what he gave up: Prophet Yusuf (PBUH) became a King, a supervisor over the treasures of the earth, and was gifted with the interpretations of dreams! SubhanaAllah :)

Allah (SWT) says: “He said: “O my Lord! Prison is dearer to me than that to which they invite me. Unless You turn away their plot from me, I will feel inclined towards them and be one (of those who commit sin and deserve blame or those who do deeds) of the ignorant.* So his Lord answered his invocation, and turned away from him their plot. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.” [Surat Yusuf: 33-34].

Allah (SWT) says: “Thus did We give full authority to Yûsuf (Joseph) in the land, to take possession therein, when or where he likes. We bestow of Our Mercy on whom We will, and We make not to be lost the reward of Al Muhsinûn (the good doers?).” [Surat Yusuf: 56].

(*Thought*: If Prophet Yusuf got all that in this life, with all it's troubles & imperfections... can you even imagine the rewards in the next, everlasting life?)

The key is, we need to have patience & trust that our Lord will not let our sacrifice be for nothing. Allah is merciful to us because he is our creator & loves us. He faces us only with trials that he knows we have the strength to face. If we weren't able to face them, he would never let us suffer. Allah (SWT) doesn't make anyone bare a burden they can't withhold.

A lot of times, when we talk about giving up things we hold dear for Allah (SWT), we talk about it like it's a walk in the park. We act all "Oh, it's no big deal. If I have to give up something for the sake of Allah, I will...". But when the moment comes, when our strength (not physical strength, of course) is tested, we find that it is a big deal. It's really hard to make that choice, and it hurts.

But it’s only when we’re tested that we can truly prove ourselves to Allah (SWT). Remember that this whole life is a test. Its just hardship after hardship, with sprinkles of happiness in between. I know you’re going through a hard time now, but be patient, Sis. It could’ve been one of the hardest decisions you’ve ever made in your life, but in the end, you’ll see that it might also be the best you’ve ever made :) Allah is with the patient ones!

"Be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient" (Al-Anfal 46).

"Verily, he who fears Allah and is patient, then surely, Allah will not let the reward of the good- doers be lost"

(Yusuf 90).

"Only those who are patient shall receive their rewards in full without reckoning" (Al-Zumar 10)

"So be patient, surely, the good end is for those who fear Allah" (Hud 49).

Take a deep breath & put it behind your back. You could keep hanging on, but life will still continue. Life will still go on. You’ve sacrificed something for Allah (SWT), and will insha’ Allah be rewarded, in this life & the next :)

I hope this was helpful, even in a teeny tiny way :) Good luck, Sis, and may the blessings of Allah (SWT) be with you! ^.^


Read more... do we make salah?

>> Friday, October 12, 2012

 I'm so embarrassed to say this but I have no one else to ask. I don't know how to pray or how to make dua...and I've had a not so good past, either  so I don't feel like I even deserve to pray. Could you help me, please" :(

Dearest Sis,

What a wonderful wonderful question! It is not embarrassing at all. That's exactly what we're here for, hun.  It's so great that you had the courage to ask HOW to pray and how to make dua because they are so important, SubhanAllah. Our prayer is our connection with Allah and the way out so many of our difficulties in THIS life and the NEXT one, inshaAllah. 

So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me. (152) O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient. (153)(Surat Al Baqarah)
Indeed, those who believe and do righteous deeds and establish prayer and give zakah will have their reward with their Lord, and there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve. (277) (Surat Al Baqarah)
 It is also the very first thing we'll be judged on, inshaAllah. 

The prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said: The first thing which will be judged among a man's deeds on the Day of Resurrection is the Prayer. If this is in good order then he will succeed and prosper but if it is defective then he will fail and will be a loser. [Nasaa'ee, Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah]

Let me give some helpful links on how to pray:

This YouTube clip is in 7 parts, including how to do Wudu/Ablution .

Don't worry. In the beginning, it might seem a little daunting, but focus on just doing your best. Just focus on doing the absolute necessary in the beginning and slowly you'll learn how to perfect the prayer (add the Sunnahs). 

It would be super awesome if you could also ask a good friend or religious relative/cousin (for example) to help you and be your prayer buddy.  If you can, visit a Masjid! Remember, there is NO shame in asking for help to pray. There is only shame in delaying it for tomorrow.

And, as for the idea of being unworthy to pray to Allah...

Shaitan is totally messing with you, there, sweets! 

The truth is, one of the purposes of the prayer is to fully acknowledge your imperfections, your dependence on Allah, your need for His Mercy and Guidance. When you pray, you are not saying that you are perfect or the most righteous person- you are saying that Allah is Perfect and that He is the Only One deserving of your worship.

You see the difference?

There's another thing I want to point out: Allah says in the Qur'an:

Do you not see that to Allah prostrates whoever is in the heavens and whoever is on the earth and the sun, the moon, the stars, the mountains, the trees, the moving creatures and many of the people? But upon many the punishment has been justified. And he whom Allah humiliates - for him there is no bestower of honor. Indeed, Allah does what He wills. (22: 18) 

The fact that you have been given the Message and want to learn how to pray and realize now the importance of prayer means that Allah saw something in you. It means that you have been chosen. Think about Prophet Nuh's son or Prophet Abraham's father. They were not given the title of Muslim. You were. Allah honored you with that! He chose you! 

Shouldn't that count, hunny? 

So go out and show Allah that you are going to submit to Him and pray to Him. 
And the other thing is, Allah tells us in the Qu'ran that prayer prohibits immorality. It's not that you "sinned", so you stop praying. It's that you pray, so eventually you will stop sinning.

Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do. (29: 45)

In fact, in a hadith,we are told that our prayers are like a river that cleanse us.

What about how to make dua?

That's another great question!

 First of all, you should start off by praising Allah, sending blessings on the prophet (saying "Allahuma salee alya sayidunna Mohammed), confessing your sins and Allah's favors on you and then just say whatever you want to say...

The Prophet (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said, “When any one of you prays, he should begin by glorifying and praising his Lord and then he should invoke blessings on the Prophet, peace be upon him, and after that he should supplicate Allah for anything he wishes.”

It's a good idea to make wudu and face the Qiblah.

You can use duas that are in the Qur'an or that Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam taught us: 
For example: Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate from the truth after You have guided us, and bestow upon us mercy from Your grace. Verily You are the Giver of bounties without measure. (3:8)

You can also say whatever it is that is in your heart! Don't worry about "flowery language" or "beautiful words". In fact, one of the companions of the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam complained that he couldn't speak as eloquently as the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam or Abu Bakr. The prophet asked him something to the effect of: "What do you say?" He said that he just asked Allah to give him jannah and protect him from the Nar. The prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, then said something that meant: "That's what Abu Bakr and I are circling around" =)

The important thing is to BELIEVE that Allah hears you and that He responds in the best way. You will either get it now, later, or something better in the Hereafter.

And Noah had certainly called Us, and [We are] the best of responders. 37:75) 

And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided. (2:186) 

Here are 2 other links as well that give more information on the etiquette of dua:

With love,


:( to :)

>> Thursday, October 11, 2012

My life has been nothing but tears since the last 10 years since my father had been paralyzed. It kind of took away all the happiness. Since then things have been becoming just harder. We have been deprived of so many little happiness that I really can't explain. Financially we are going at loss too.Plus, a few years back I committed some terrible mistakes and I had kept repeating them in spite of knowing how wrong I was. My faith weakened :(
But recently I have came to realise how big a mistake I have done and believe me I cry nights begging for forgiveness from Allah. I really want to change myself but then I start having weird dreams that makes me realize I'm so bad.
All the time I feel like crying and crying thinking how hard I might get punished and seeking forgiveness. I have promised not to do that ever again but I don't feel myself at peace. I feel regret and pain and tears all the time because of what I have done, because of seeing my father like this and because I have no one who can tell me a way out of this.
My mom remains busy with my father since he is ill. She has never tried to talk to me or understand my silence. She does a lot for me for which I'm grateful but I need a friend in her. She does not really understand me.
Please tell me what should I do to change myself?Why don't I feel happy at all?In spite of crying and seeking forgiveness, why don't I feel the inner peace? :'(How would I know that I have been forgiven?How should I forget my past and move on?I have tried but I fail all the time. :'(
I'm just so shattered and alone!
Please help me! Restless

Wa'alaikumussalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh! Dearest Restless,

Let me give you a big, virtual bear hug! I want to tell you that I truly love you for the sake of Allah from the bottom of my heart. ♥  And I sincerely apologize for the delay in writing this post. What can I say but please forgive me?

As for your question, I'm sorry to hear that your family is going through such difficulties. I can imagine your father's paralysis and your financial situation as being very trying. But sis, remind yourself of our prophet Ayyub. Prophet Ayyub was at first given many blessings, but was then given several tests which remind me of yours all at a close time. He lost a lot of his wealth and his financial situation completely changed...Not only that, many of his own children and family members died. At the same time, he was afflicted with a very very difficult disease. But alhamdillah, Ayyub stayed patient though and clung to his faith...Rather than turning away from Allah, he turned to Allah and prayed.

"Truly adversity has afflicted me and You are Most Merciful of all who show mercy." (Surah 21: Verse 83)
Allah accepted his prayer. The Holy Quran affirms:

"Then We heard his prayer and removed that adversity from which he suffered, and We gave him his household and the like thereof along with them, a mercy from Our store and remembrance for the worshippers." (Surah 21: Verse 84)

And that's what we have to remember, sis.

This story teaches us that .. everything will be okay in the end. If it's not o.k., then it's not the end.

Just remember, before the dawn is the darkest time...Before the rainbow, there are rain showers.

SubhanAllah, perhaps your family is really loved by Allah. Perhaps these trials are meant to raise your ranks to a very high place in jannah or erase your sins.

Abu Hurayrah (Radiya Allah Anhoo) reported that the Prophet (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: " Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity" [Bukharee and others]
Anas (Radiya Allah Anhoo) reported that the Prophet (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: " The amount of reward is in accordance with the amount of suffering. When Allah (Subhanoo wa' Tala) loves some people, He tries them (with affliction). He who then is content (with Allah's decree) has achieved the acceptance (of Allah), and he who is dissatisfied (with Allah's decree) will attain the anger (of Allah)." [Tirmithee]
Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (Radiya Allah Anhoo) reported that the Prophet (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "A Muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. " [Bukharee and Muslim]

Just hang in there. The tests you are going through are purifying you just like pure gold is purified.

As for the "sins" that you did, I'd like to ask you a favor. Could you read our earlier posts here:

But, don't worry! I am going to add some more. Sis, stop for one moment and remember who Allah is.

Allah is Al Tawwab, the "One Who Accepts Repentance" again and again. 

 “Except those who repent and correct themselves and make evident [what they concealed]. Those – I will accept their repentance, and I am the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.” (Qur’an 2:160)
[O Muhammad], inform My servants that it is I who am the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (Qur’an 15:49)
“[…] indeed He is ever, to the often returning [to Him], Forgiving.” (Qur’an 17:25)
 “And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself but then seeks forgiveness of Allah will find Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” (Qur’an 4:110) 

Even Pharoah or Firawn was given another chance. I don't think you could have done anything compared to Firawan...yet, look at Allah's Mercy:

When his Lord called to him in the sacred valley of Tuwa, (16) "Go to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. (17) And say to him, 'Would you [be willing to] purify yourself (18) And let me guide you to your Lord so you would fear [Him]?'[Surat Al Na'ziat]
It is said that the angel Gabriel  purposely wanted to drown Fir'awn so that he wouldn't get chance to call out in repentance or tawhid because even then, Allah would have forgiven him. 

Sis, it is part of human nature that we sin. The important thing is what happens after we sin.

Narrated by Muslim, 2749. And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani. 

Look at the story of Adam and Shaytaan. Both disobeyed Allah...Yet, it was their reaction after their disobedience that made all the difference. Adam turned back to Allah and felt guilty and bad...He repented. Shaytaan refused to acknowledge that he had done something wrong.

“If the people knew how much Allah helps the weak ones, they would never even grab iron poles (to strike others with). Truly, Allah `azza wa jall feels shy upon seeing His slave extend his two hands towards Him, asking Him for goodness, that He should return them empty (and unanswered).”--Salman al-Farsi (ra)

You said you still feel guilty. Just because you feel guilty doesn't mean that you haven't been forgiven. What you need to do though is to use that guilt to motivate you to do more good deeds and not to despair. Never ever let your sins make you despair, because I swear to you, whatever sin you have done, it is nothing compared to Allah's Mercy.

“Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.’” (Qur’an 39:53)

Instead, seize each day as an opportunity to make up for the past...Race to do good deeds. Arafat is coming up, sister! This is the perfect opportunity for YOU :) And also the other ten days of Dhul-Hujja.

Fasting the Day of Ara'fat makes you forgiven for 2 years:

The Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said:  “Be content with the fact that Allah will expiate for your sins for a whole year before the day of Arafat and the year after the day of Arafat”! [Saheeh Muslim]
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) also reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There is no deed more precious in the sight of Allaah, nor greater in reward, than a good deed done during the ten days of Sacrifice." He was asked, "Not even jihaad for the sake of Allaah?" He said, "Not even jihaad for the sake of Allaah, except in the case of a man who went out to fight giving himself and his wealth up for the cause, and came back with nothing." (Reported by al-Daarimi, 1/357; itsisnaad is hasan as stated in al-Irwaa’, 3/398).

What else? You can always consider praying 2 Rakhat for repentance, too. 

Abu Dawood (1521) narrated that Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “There is no one who commits a sin then purifies himself well and stands and prays two rak’ahs, then asks Allaah for forgiveness, but Allaah will forgive him.

 This is also another link on "Means of Expiating Sins":

Please, please read this beautiful, thought-provoking post right here. I've attached the link below and think it can really help you in your situation.

And keep making dua: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah is nobly reserved and generous. He feels shy from a servant who raises to Him his two hands to turn them away empty.” [Sunan al-Trimidhî and Musnad Ahmad with an authentic chain of transmission]

Well sister, I hope this helps you a bit. Again, I apologize for taking so long :( 

Little Auntie  & Apple Blossoms


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