>> Monday, April 30, 2012
I hate public speaking. I really do. I have a big presentation coming up and I am just sick of always failing in my presentations. I wish I could be confident and eloquent so that at least I would make Islam look good but I always freeze or mess up. I read your advice on studying and thought you might be able to help.Assalamu Alaykum Sis,
Assalamu'alaikum, I have an Internet problem, too, but it's about my little sister. I have a 14 year old sister and she wants to browse the internet whenever she can. She uses it for more than two hours. I'm not sure what she's browsing or doing and I worry that she might be getting into things she shouldn't. I need your advice on how to handle this situation nicely. If I say "no" she keeps nagging me and sometimes I get angry. How should I approach this?
Assalamualaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu
Let me start of by telling you Im becoming an alimah, but I dont act like an alimah at all!
I mean people think im very religious, and they compliment me everywhere I go, I pray, fast, cover my face, and everything, but I at home secretly watch videos on Youtube (and they obviously have music), and do some other sins too, but then I feeeel so guilty, I feel like screaming at myself! Im so tired of myself, I hate who I am, because Im the
worst person in the world! I feel like Im such a hypocrite, I study hadeeth and quran in the mornings, and watch stuff on youtube at night...I cry a alot sometimes and ask for forgiveness, I really want to become very very religious, but I feel like the more I yearn to become religious, the further I get, I love Allah, but I cant stop sinning. Does Allah hate me? Why isnt he helping me? I do make lots of dua and ask for help, but Im not getting any more closer to him, I feel like he doesnt care about me.
I know Im blessed to be able to study Islam, I love it, and try to act upon it as much as I can, But I keep failing. I waste so much time, I dont even properly study. Also, I was married a year ago, but the guy and his family used to torture me, and due to many other reasons,
I asked for a divorce. After that I got engaged, but the guys family started to ask me to do stuff that's forbidden in Islam. plus living with his mother was impossible due to some reasons..
My father has passed away when I was young, my siblings are busy with their own lives,
I hardly have any friends, Im so lonely, I dont like talking to anyone, because Im a huge hypocrite, I dont deserve anything.
My life is such a wreck, I sometimes feel like committing suicide, mainly because Im so afraid Allah must be so angry with me, I dont want to be punished, but I think the more I live, the more shaytaan gets me to sin, so its better if I die....
When will Allah listen to my duas? When will I change, and become a true muslimah, when will I find a good husband? Why isnt he listening to me? I dont want to go to the hell fire, but I cant control myself. What do I do? Please help!
So confused, so tired, so desperate for help!
The Messenger of Allah (salallahu alaihe wa-sallam) said: "My entire nation is safe, except al-Mujahirin(those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: "O Fulan! Last night I did this and that." He goes to sleep while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what Allah has kept a secret!" [Saheeh al-Bukharee]
O Allah , do not call me to account for what they say and forgive me for what they have no knowledge of [and make me better than they imagine].
O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) said:
“Sin may be more beneficial for a person, if it leads him to repent, than doing a lot of acts of worship. This is what is meant by the words of one of the salaf:‘A person may commit a sin and enter Paradise because of it, or he may do an act of worship and enter Hell because of it.’
They said: ‘How is that?’He said: ‘He may commit a sin and continues to think about it, and when he stands or sits or walks he remembers his sin, so he feels ashamed and repents and seeks forgiveness and regrets it, so that will be the means of his salvation. And he may do a good deed and continue to think about it, and when he stands or sits or walks he remembers it and it fills him with self-admiration and pride, so it is the cause of his doom.
So the sin may be the factor that leads him to do acts of worship and good deeds and to change his attitude so that he fears Allah and feels shy before Him and feels humiliated before Him, hanging his head in shame and weeping with regret, seeking he forgiveness of his Lord. Each of these effects is better for a person than an act of worship that makes him feel proud and show off and look down on people. Undoubtedly this sin is better before Allah and is more likely to bring salvation than one who admires himself and looks down on others, and who thinks that he is doing Allah a favour. Even if he says words that indicate something other than that, Allah is the Witness over what is in his heart. Such a person may feel hatred towards people if they do not hold him in high esteem and humiliate themselves before him. If he were to examine himself honestly, he would see that clearly.”
Salamz Aunties, I just started looking at your blog and haven't taken a really good look at it, but I was thinking that maybe you can help me out on this- who hijacked Islam and gave it to the scholars only? I feel like we as a community are so frozen. No offense, but Allah created us with minds and intellect. He created us to think and question. Even the angels asked Allah about His decision to create man on Earth. I guess what I'm coming with is-why are people so afraid to question? And why has Islam become limited to 'hijab' and the beard and so forh. What happened to our personal relationship with Alllah? This is just me and I'm sorry if the question bothers you. ---Want to QUESTION
God, ever blessed and exalted is He, says: “Whoever treats a friend of Mine as an enemy, on him I declare war. My servant draws near to Me by nothing dearer to Me than that which I have established as a duty for him. And My servant does not cease to approach Me through supererogatory acts until I love him. And when I love him, I become his hearing with which he hears, his sight with which he sees, his hand with which he grasps, and his foot with which he walks. And if he asks Me [for something], I give it to him. If he seeks refuge with Me, I place him under My protection. In nothing do I hesitate so much as I hesitate [to take] the soul of a believer. He has a horror of death, and I have a horror of hurting him” Reported by al-Bukhari, according to Abu Hurayra.
A little bit of advice- a little bit of humor-
this blog is meant to help my young
Muslim sisters on their journey to Paradise.
Please note though that this is not
a 'fatwa' blog.