The FacebOokEr

>> Tuesday, December 28, 2010

"Dear Li'l Aunties,

Lately I've had a few friends tell me that they're deactivating their facebook accounts for 'Islamic reasons'. I know I spend a lot of time on FB, but I'm not sure if I really should deactivate it myself, or not. What do you think?"

Dear "FaceBooker",

This is a really good question!

I can't tell you whether you should personally delete your fb account or not, but I can provide you with some questions to help you decide. Does that sound okay to you?

1. Do you have friends on facebook or do you have 'an audience'? Think about it. Are the people on your friends list people you actually know or just random strangers you happened to add? Oh, wait! Before you answer that, let me ask you another question. Are these people 'your present friends' or just any persons you happened to know in your past? 

Why am I asking? 

Well....This  may sound cruel, but the truth is that you don't have to keep in contact with every single person you knew in your past. I mean, you are most likely not the same person you were back in kindergarten. So why add some people who you really don't have much in common with anymore (we're talking about *Islamically*)? In fact, there are some people who 'you really should say goodbye to.' Those are the people who never encouraged you to be a better Muslimah. Those are the people who 'had your back for you' but 'when you were sinning' or  doing whatever. Don't add those people to your FB list. You already gave them 'some time' of your life. Don't give them anymore....

2. If you're a hijabi, are you a hijabi online, offline or both?  Do your friends actually recognize your profile picture (if you have one- and I suggest 100 X that you DON'T  put up any pictures of yourself) or do you look (for some reason) like you're about to go to a wedding? 

It's not only about pictures, though.  Do you do what you would do in real life or do you say certain things/ post certain comments on people's profiles that you wouldn't normally do?  Are you the same *modest* person that you are in real life or are you a little 'daring' on facebook? Like have you added non-mahrams guys to your FB? Even if they're your Muslim brothers, the truth is, they aren't your biological brothers and they are non-mahrams to you. You know what translates to, right? *Delete, delete, delete....*

3. What are you a fan of? 

I know, it takes only one second but when you click that button....*like*'re doing something really big. You're saying what you approve of and what you don't. When you click that you like some singer who sings about sex, you are flaunting your sin....and you're encouraging others to listen to it. 

The  Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, 
“All of my Ummah will be forgiven of their sins except those who flaunt their sins.”  

You want the full lecture of what I'm talking about?  Little Miss Aunty and I wrote about this very topic  in what we called "Becoming an Unfan on Facebook"

4. How much time is a 'lot of time' on facebook?  If you're spending more than an hour.....seriously, that is way too much time. Ask yourself how much time you leave to 'memorizing new duas/ hadiths/ Qur'an?' Is it in any way proportionate to the amount of time you spend on facebook? 

5. Is your profile clear of dead flesh? Or you talk about people in your statuses? Like if someone makes you angry, does everyone you know know about it? 

And finally....

6. If you were to come back, after like 10 years, and find your profile, would you be 'happy or ashamed' with what you have there? 

Well, these are the top 6 questions that I could think of :P. 

I hope you make the best decision for your deen, dunya and akhirah. May we all re-evaluate our activities and make Allah's pleasure our number one goal.

10 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

athoofa December 28, 2010 at 6:56 AM  


I loved this! Everything you said was spot on mashaAllah!!

Jazakillahu Kheiran!

bintZaynab December 28, 2010 at 8:54 AM  

Great advise mashaAllah! :)

Nina December 28, 2010 at 9:08 AM  

As-Salaamu Alaikum!
I really liked this post. It made me think about my own Facebook, lol. I don't have guys on there except for my cousins, so your post definitely made me consider whether I should take them off or not. I believe cousins are non-Mahram? I'll have to check that detail later.
I also have some likes on there that aren't the best things to like, so I'm going to make sure to unlike them!
Thank you for this post. :)

Ghadeer December 28, 2010 at 11:06 AM  

Amazing advice! Great questions that we all have to ask ourselves!

Stranger December 28, 2010 at 1:58 PM  

Mashallah, what a wonderful post!
This is exactly what most Muslim kids need to read because every time I explain why I don't have facebook anymore, no one really seems to understand!

Little Auntie December 30, 2010 at 9:43 AM  

Athoofa, Seeker of Jannah, Aminah, Jnana, and Strangers, Jazakun Allah koli khair.

Yup, Aminah, cousins are non-mahram. (Just remember. Even if you don't personally feel attracted to your cousins, you could marry them, couldn't you?) I'm really proud of you for 'unliking them' :D

Ma'shaAllah Stranger on not having it anymore! :)

MUNA HYUNMIN BAE,  May 3, 2011 at 2:32 PM  

Masha Allah!
When I was suggested to delet my account on some Social Networking systems( Facebook, Myspace, Cyworld-Korean network website- and Twitter) by my Husband, I couldn't understand why I should do thay indeed.
I thought it was my important thing to do and the list of friends were precious to keep touching to ask 'How are you?'.
But I am learning more and more 'bout Islam, I can accept all what my husband told me and this Good advice by Miss Auntie.:)))
I just love to get Right thoughts in this Blog!

From Muna in Korea.

Bintulislam March 29, 2012 at 3:28 PM  

Assalamu Alaikum!

Been a long time, eh? It's always nice reading your thoughts. :) You know, at first I never used to share the music videos or movie trailers on my FB but with everyone doing it, I started sharing them too. And I am not proud of that. :( I have started spending a lot of time on FB playing Scrabble or Chess or chatting with friends. :( Liking random funny pictures or's useless, but I can't seem to let go of it. :S What to do? :S

Little Auntie April 6, 2012 at 12:38 PM  

Nice to see you, sis =)
About your last question...I think so many of us fall into that trap...I guess we can first try and make a goal that we'll share at least one hadith, ayah, and dua every week...And as we start to put more beneficial things and sign up for more of the Islamic group pages that are meaningful (rather than just funny), it'll get easier and easier, inshaAllah....

Aaaah...don't know if this is making sense or not. :P

Umm Teem November 5, 2012 at 5:08 PM  

Mm.. What if we added the non-mahram guys (only few of them) for the sake of some short-term projects that need each other to communicate (greatly) via facebook to get them settled? Help.. I dont usually add guys but recently i did to few for this reason. I control my postings, too. LIMIT only to what's beneficial to all, no personal postings inshaAllah. Is this ok? I'll remove them afterwards once all the projects are settles/completed. Again, is this ok n islamic? :(

*It's disturbing to me to think about this adding-guys stuff sometimes- isn't it contradicting to Al Haya'?*

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

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