Marrying Imam Mahdi?

>> Friday, May 11, 2012

 I have been reading more and more into Islam. I'm 15 and by my own choice, I embraced Islam at the age of 13. I was born into a Muslim Pakistani family but wasn't a religious Muslimah before. Now, I try my best to be religious and pious. I even wear an abaya! I know there's always room for improvements so I am not saying I am not perfect. I am not at all perfect, just trying to be the best Muslimah I can be. But like I said, lately I've been reading more  into Islam. It's very interesting especially reading about all the prophets (peace be upon them). My mom was telling me about how the family of the prophets (peace be upon them) will enter Jannah first. I was happy for them at first. I'm still happy for them but now I feel sort of...jealous. I mean, I'm not entirely jealous, but I just wish I could be in their place. They're so lucky to be related to Prophet Muhammad (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam). I wish I was directly related to our Prophet (PBUH). And the wives of the prophets? They're so lucky, Masha-Allah!                                                                                                                                    I'm just pouring out my thoughts here. I know that Imam Mahdi and Prophet Jesus (PBUH) will be arriving soon, Insha-Allah. I can't help wondering if I would make a good enough wife for one of them. I know I probably wouldn't be good enough but I try. But I also know that I wouldn't be good enough because I'm Pakistani and they'll probably choose an Arab girl, anyways. Plus, I doubt that Prophet Jesus (PBUH) would ever marry me because he won't be coming any time soon. I'll probably be crippled old or dead by the time he comes. ): (This makes me sad!)                                                                                                                                   Then I thought that I always have the chance of marrying Imam Mahdi. He may not be a prophet, but he'll be the final rightly-guided Khalifa, Masha-Allah. I mean, if he comes from 2012-2025, I'll still be young enough. And the good part is that his nationality isn't mentioned yet, so if he does marry, he could marry a Pakistani girl (like me).                                                               So basically, I have become obsessed with marrying a rightly-guided man, such as a prophet or an Imam. I'm not saying that I deserve to be married to these men. I'm sure that other women deserve more than me. But I honestly do try my best to be pious. Like I said, I used to have a bad sinful past. I stopped now - I really have! I've been heartbroken so many times in my life. I will never be attracted to another man in my life! I am not lustful to being married to prophets or Imam. I just want a good pious husband so that we can work our way together to Heaven, Insha-Allah. But I know that no man is as pious as the prophets. And the wives of the prophets - they're blessed! They're so lucky! I wish I were them. I wish I were special and favored in the eyes of Allah Subahanahu Wa Taala. I know that I have my imperfections but I try so hard. And now I'm determined to be the wife of at least Imam Mahdi. I know he'll be 40. I don't care if he's 50 and I'm 20.  I know I sound crazy. I am crazy.
I think that if I don't get to marry a prophet or Imam, I will just not marry at all. Maybe if I make it to Jannah, Insha-Allah, I can ask to be married to a prophet, but other than that, I keep myself away from other men because none of them are pious enough. Now that I've let everything off my mind, do you think you would be able to help me, Dear Sis? Maybe, possibly, talk me through this. It's okay if you can't. (: May Allah keep you happy & shower His blessings upon you. Ameen! (:


Dearest Troubled,

First of all, can I just say that this was as cute as a pink twirly swirly cupcake? For real. Your email just brought the hugest smile on my face!

Second, let me say that I'm really weally truly proud of you for choosing to come back to Islam and for repenting from your mistakes, ma'shaAllah. May Allah keep us all guided.  And I just want to reassure/remind you that it's not about "where" you "begin", but what your ending is. That's what matters =)

Anyways! On to the rest of the email :)

On the surface, it looks like your question is: Would it be possible for you to marry Imam Mahdi? Or maybe even possibly Isa alyhee as salam?

But you know what I think? I think we can actually break down your question into 2 major issues here.

A.    Your desire to be in jannah (and have someone support you on the path to jannah)
B.    Your fears that there is no man "pious enough"


Hun, I can't tell you if you can marry Imam Mahdi or not. I don't know any thing really about his wife, but I can tell you this.

Marrying somebody pious doesn't necessarily grant you jannah.

Your spouse can be a major support to "Jannah", but he's not going to be your "Ticket" to jannah.

There's this great quote that I read on the Internet which says:

You might be married to the worst man ever, like Asyah was married to Pharaoh - but it didn’t change her and her loyalty and love to Allah (her aqidah). You might be married to the best of men, like Prophets of God, and still not enter Heaven - like the wives of Prophet Nuh and Prophet Lut. You might be not married to any man, like Maryam (alaiha salam), and Allah can make your rank higher than any women on the Earth. Know your priorities. Love and trust is with Allah first. 


The truth, darling, is that the wives of the Prophets were truly blessed….

But so are we.You and me :)

There are many ayaat and hadiths…soooo many…that show how high our own position can be, too! You don't have to be married to the prophet to go to paradise. You simply have to FOLLOW the prophet!


Let's take a look:

And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger - those will be with the ones upon whom Allah has bestowed favor of the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. And excellent are those as companions. (2: 69)That is the bounty from Allah, and sufficient is Allah as Knower. (2: 70) 

I know that you said that you are "obsessed" right now with "marrying" a prophet. Well, what do you think of being considered like the prophet's sister?

As is narrated by Abu Hurayra, One day Prophet Muhammad (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) came to the graveyard and said:
 O dwellers of the land of believers! Peace be upon you. With God willing, we will also join you. Then he sighed with longing and added, How I miss to see my brothers! The companions beside him said, O Messenger of God, are we not you brothers? The Prophet replied, You are my companions; my brothers have yet to come
The companions asked him:  O Messenger! How will you recognize these people from your community who have yet to come?
Whereupon, the Prophet asked: If someone has a horse with white signs on the forehead and the feet, can he recognize it among black and gray horses?
The companions replied:Yes. He said, “They (my brothers) will come with white streaks from their ablutions, and I will receive them at my cistern. [But there will be some who will be driven away from my cistern as a stray camel is driven away. I will call them to come. It will be said, ‘They changed matters after you,’ then I will say, ‘Be off, be off.”‘] (Related by Muslim.)

What else?
Rabi’a Ibn Ka’eb was once helping out the Prophet with water for his wudu’ (ablution) when the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said to him, “Ask me (meaning that he would pray for Rabia' whatever he wanted and the prophet's prayers were always answered).”  Rabi’a replied, “I ask to be with you in Paradise.”  “Anything else?” The Prophet asked. “Only that”, Rabi’a said.  To that the Prophet replied, “Then help me to help you (get there), by performing much sujood.”

So you see now, in order for you to be close to the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam and the best people in janah, you don't have to be married to a prophet. You have to lower yourself and do sujood. You have to make sure your heart and every part of you is saying "Glory and Perfection be to you, Allah, Exalted". 

According to another hadith, someone asked our blessed and exalted Prophet, "When shall come the Day of Judgment?" Our Prophet asked him "What preparation have you made for the Day?" The man said, "Nothing, but I have love for Allah and for His Messenger." The Prophet said, "You shall be (on that Day) with whom you love."

 What do you think of the prophets being jealous of you?

 Mu'adh said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Allah, the Mighty and Exalted, says, "Those who love one another for My majesty will have minbars of lights. The Prophets and martyrs will envy them."'" [at-Tirmidhi] 

The truth is that Allah chose the Companions of the prophets and their wives, with full Wisdom and Knowledge. He chose us to be the "followers" also in His Wisdom and Knowledge. Our place and time was decided by Al Hakeem, alhamdullilah.
That doesn't mean that you can't be "favored" or seen as someone special in the sight of Allah. You still can be! We know what we have to do and the extra things that we can do: fasting, charity, helping a neighbor, etc.

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (sallah Allahoo alyhaee wa salam) said: Allah (mighty and sublime be He) said:Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him.It was related by al-Bukhari. 
 We have to actively work on ourselves. We can't expect "our spouses" to fix us or get us into paradise. 

Okay, well, what about the fact that there is no man "pious" enough out there?

Hun, you really got to cut the guys some slack. They're not perfect. Neither are we.

So you met some "unpious guys"..and you had some really bad experiences. You got to remind yourself that you met these people when you were (probably) not as religious as you are now. Those were the people from your past. But not every single guy is like that.

Really! When the time comes, inshaAllah, it will be different from the experiences you had.  Your family will be involved. It will be out and in the open. It will begin in the name of Allah, inshaAllah.

Did you know that there are people living with us right now who (Allahu' Alim if it is this time, though) could be getting the exact same reward as 50 companions?

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Ahead of you are days of patience, during which being patient will be like grasping a hot coal. The one who does good deeds then will have a reward like that of fifty people who do such deeds.” And, someone else added, they said: O Messenger of Allah, the reward of fifty of them? He said: “The reward of fifty of you(Companions)!” (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidh). 

The point is that there are good guys out there. Guys who decide to grow beards even though they know that they'll be made fun of because they want to be like the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam. Guys who are memorizing the Book of Allah, seeking ilm, trying to do dawah. 

Guys who are honest business people because they know that the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said: "A trustworthy and truthful merchant will be raised up with prophets, the truthful, and martyrs on the Day of Resurrection." 

Guys who want to be doctors to help cure sick people and save lives that the Quran says:  "And whoever saves one - it is as if he had saved mankind entirely."

Guys who obey their mothers no matter how uncool it is.

And somewhere out there is the guy for you :) Someone praying for a religious wifey who will help him raise a wonderful family that will make the Prophet proud =)

So, sweets, don't write "marriage off" or think that you have to marry a prophet/ daee to find a good guy. Instead, turn to Allah and ask Him for a good spouse who will help you come closer to Him!





12 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Anonymous,  May 11, 2012 at 12:32 PM  

Alhamdulillah.. The question, and the reply, both made my heart melt. So lovely. The post even restored MY faith in marriage, and in finding a good guy, and more importantly, the part that we OURSELVES have to play to get our ticket to Jannah.

qatheworld May 11, 2012 at 1:56 PM  

I agree with the response but I think there is one part that was not addressed and should have been! Sister you said, "But I also know that I wouldn't be good enough because I'm Pakistani and they'll probably choose an Arab girl, anyways." This and your related statements about it filled me with sadness. Sis, in Islam there is no nationality better than another and we should not marry based on this, and the most religious men will know and honor this and will not dismiss you on this basis. Our last prophet, Mohammed, gave an important reminder in his last speech which he said was very important to pass on to those who were not present: "an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood." I am fully aware there is a lot of racism and discrimination still today as there was at that time, but please remember these words and know that a righteous man will abide by this and look at your faith instead of your ethnicity. It can be very saddening and discouraging to be rejected for your race, but please do not believe those who say this has anything to do with your worth. Also, the prophet Mohammed encouraged everyone to marry and increase their family lineage, and said that marriage is half of faith. He disliked it for someone to reject being married on principle, that is part of the sunnah. Being married (preferably to a righteous person) can be a way to increase your own faith, so please do not reject it altogether if you cannot marry someone in particular. If a righteous man comes to you and wishes to be married, do not reject him on that basis. You may each be a help and protection to one another to strengthen each other's faith and become better muslims than you would have been otherwise! I do not recommend marrying someone who does not follow his religion well (we are told that is the best kind of person to marry, but we cannot always tell that in advance!) but masha'Allah even Allah can make that into a means of increasing your own faith should you come to find yourself in that position.

Anonymous,  May 11, 2012 at 3:17 PM  

Subhanallah what an amazing question . normally questions about love/marriage can be a little irritating (sorry for sounding so scrooge like) This question was so beautiful Made me smile so much .

Anonymous,  May 11, 2012 at 5:27 PM  

There was a time when I fleetingly thought of this myself. Even now, I have wondered who Isa's(as) wife will be. But then honestly, when Allah (swt) turns you towards a guy or a guy towards you, it's a blessing in itself. And if that guy turns out to be one you end up marrying, all the better. Always make du'aa to Allah swt for you to be granted a righteous spouse. Our spouse is only a means for us to get closer to our end, which is Allah. No one's perfect, not me, not you, not anyone. The Prophet Muhammad saw was the only man who was free of sin. So it's sorta unrealistic to not marry because the person is not "righteous" or "perfect" enough. That's where istikhara comes in when you're considering marrying someone. Look at their taqwa. That's a key point. And then both the spouses work together to get closer to Allah swt. It's a journey you can together.

Anonymous,  May 12, 2012 at 12:39 AM  

Assalaamu alaykum, I would like to add.. that sometimes being married to religiously committed and knowleagable person is a trial. It really is! That's why I say that religion should not be the only base on marriage.. I knew my husband for two days before we married )met once for an hour) and he certainly is a good man mashaAllah, but it puts loads of expectations on me, it really does. And it's not always a good thing. xxx older Auntie

Little Auntie May 12, 2012 at 12:53 AM  

Qaworld, I definitely meant to address that aspect, too, but forgot. Jazakillah for clearing that up. I want to remind our sister that Prophet Mohammed's wives were from different tribes, former religions, and even countries (like Maria al Qabtiya). So definitely "race"/"nationality" is not an issue...

Anonymous,  May 12, 2012 at 8:48 PM  

wow, I used to think about the same thing! About being Eesa Alaihi Salaam's wife. But now I know I shouldn't be narrow like that. There are things that are even better for me. And to accept my position and not belittle it, it's the best for ME.

Plus having to be a wife of those great leaders of Islam would be such a great responsibility. I think it would mean a lot of sacrifice for the greater good in this life (of course more rewards too for that reason). I just remember how the wives of Rasulallah (S) had to be so much stronger. Like they had to live very, very simple life, be such examples, and be our mothers. Subhanallah. That was AllahSWT's plan for them. They are all Women of Jannah but they all had different circumstances. To me this shows that there are diverse ways of going to Jannah. And what about Prophet Nuh, and Lut(AS), their wives disbelieved, imagine that. They had special lives and their role was so important. They had a lot more expected of them and I don't know at this point of life if I would be able to.

Maybe I wouldn't be ready for a big responsibility. Who knows.

Aziza May 13, 2012 at 10:21 AM  

I love this, it's so cute and so importantly important at the same time! May Allah grant us all righteous spouses who are kind and understanding and with whom we can share wonderful lives and families with for all of eternity! :)

RealLittleSister May 13, 2012 at 1:20 PM  

what can i do but smile?! :)

Anonymous,  May 17, 2012 at 8:37 AM  

Mash'Allah. Really good advice. :)

I have one question to ask: How to send emails to this blogs, as in how is someone supposed to send their problems? Is there any email address or anything? Need to know ASAP.

Jazakillah Khairan

Little Auntie May 17, 2012 at 8:52 AM  

^We actually have a contact page but we remove it when we've received 6 questions. Try to check our database though, but if you find that you really need to talk to someone, you can email dearlitteauntie@gmail.com [I can't promise that the reply will be that fast, though :D]

Anonymous,  January 24, 2013 at 8:57 AM  

may Allah swt guide us

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

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