>> Friday, May 11, 2012
I have been reading more and more into Islam. I'm 15 and by my own choice, I embraced Islam at the age of 13. I was born into a Muslim Pakistani family but wasn't a religious Muslimah before. Now, I try my best to be religious and pious. I even wear an abaya! I know there's always room for improvements so I am not saying I am not perfect. I am not at all perfect, just trying to be the best Muslimah I can be. But like I said, lately I've been reading more into Islam. It's very interesting especially reading about all the prophets (peace be upon them). My mom was telling me about how the family of the prophets (peace be upon them) will enter Jannah first. I was happy for them at first. I'm still happy for them but now I feel sort of...jealous. I mean, I'm not entirely jealous, but I just wish I could be in their place. They're so lucky to be related to Prophet Muhammad (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam). I wish I was directly related to our Prophet (PBUH). And the wives of the prophets? They're so lucky, Masha-Allah! I'm just pouring out my thoughts here. I know that Imam Mahdi and Prophet Jesus (PBUH) will be arriving soon, Insha-Allah. I can't help wondering if I would make a good enough wife for one of them. I know I probably wouldn't be good enough but I try. But I also know that I wouldn't be good enough because I'm Pakistani and they'll probably choose an Arab girl, anyways. Plus, I doubt that Prophet Jesus (PBUH) would ever marry me because he won't be coming any time soon. I'll probably be crippled old or dead by the time he comes. ): (This makes me sad!) Then I thought that I always have the chance of marrying Imam Mahdi. He may not be a prophet, but he'll be the final rightly-guided Khalifa, Masha-Allah. I mean, if he comes from 2012-2025, I'll still be young enough. And the good part is that his nationality isn't mentioned yet, so if he does marry, he could marry a Pakistani girl (like me). So basically, I have become obsessed with marrying a rightly-guided man, such as a prophet or an Imam. I'm not saying that I deserve to be married to these men. I'm sure that other women deserve more than me. But I honestly do try my best to be pious. Like I said, I used to have a bad sinful past. I stopped now - I really have! I've been heartbroken so many times in my life. I will never be attracted to another man in my life! I am not lustful to being married to prophets or Imam. I just want a good pious husband so that we can work our way together to Heaven, Insha-Allah. But I know that no man is as pious as the prophets. And the wives of the prophets - they're blessed! They're so lucky! I wish I were them. I wish I were special and favored in the eyes of Allah Subahanahu Wa Taala. I know that I have my imperfections but I try so hard. And now I'm determined to be the wife of at least Imam Mahdi. I know he'll be 40. I don't care if he's 50 and I'm 20. I know I sound crazy. I am crazy.
I think that if I don't get to marry a prophet or Imam, I will just not marry at all. Maybe if I make it to Jannah, Insha-Allah, I can ask to be married to a prophet, but other than that, I keep myself away from other men because none of them are pious enough. Now that I've let everything off my mind, do you think you would be able to help me, Dear Sis? Maybe, possibly, talk me through this. It's okay if you can't. (: May Allah keep you happy & shower His blessings upon you. Ameen! (:
You might be married to the worst man ever, like Asyah was married to Pharaoh - but it didn’t change her and her loyalty and love to Allah (her aqidah). You might be married to the best of men, like Prophets of God, and still not enter Heaven - like the wives of Prophet Nuh and Prophet Lut. You might be not married to any man, like Maryam (alaiha salam), and Allah can make your rank higher than any women on the Earth. Know your priorities. Love and trust is with Allah first.
And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger - those will be with the ones upon whom Allah has bestowed favor of the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. And excellent are those as companions. (2: 69)That is the bounty from Allah, and sufficient is Allah as Knower. (2: 70)
O dwellers of the land of believers! Peace be upon you. With God willing, we will also join you. Then he sighed with longing and added, How I miss to see my brothers! The companions beside him said, O Messenger of God, are we not you brothers? The Prophet replied, You are my companions; my brothers have yet to come
The companions asked him: O Messenger! How will you recognize these people from your community who have yet to come?
Whereupon, the Prophet asked: If someone has a horse with white signs on the forehead and the feet, can he recognize it among black and gray horses?
The companions replied:Yes. He said, “They (my brothers) will come with white streaks from their ablutions, and I will receive them at my cistern. [But there will be some who will be driven away from my cistern as a stray camel is driven away. I will call them to come. It will be said, ‘They changed matters after you,’ then I will say, ‘Be off, be off.”‘] (Related by Muslim.)
Mu'adh said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Allah, the Mighty and Exalted, says, "Those who love one another for My majesty will have minbars of lights. The Prophets and martyrs will envy them."'" [at-Tirmidhi]
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (sallah Allahoo alyhaee wa salam) said: Allah (mighty and sublime be He) said:Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him.It was related by al-Bukhari.
We have to actively work on ourselves. We can't expect "our spouses" to fix us or get us into paradise.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Ahead of you are days of patience, during which being patient will be like grasping a hot coal. The one who does good deeds then will have a reward like that of fifty people who do such deeds.” And, someone else added, they said: O Messenger of Allah, the reward of fifty of them? He said: “The reward of fifty of you(Companions)!” (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidh).