>> Thursday, April 11, 2013
Asalamu aliakaum! I dont know where should i start with first of all i am 19 years old and still doing alevels where as i should be in university i am scared that when I finally go in university everyone is going to make fun of me as I am so old I feel so terrible whenever I think of this I feel I will have no friends
wa'laykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo,
Dear a Little Older,
First of all, sis, what's the definition of a friend? A friend is someone who cares about you, helps you, supports you...someone who is there for you.
Now let's break this down a bit.
Not every single person you meet in university is going to be a friend. But you don't need a million friends to be happy.
All that you need are just a couple of people....
And the fact is: if someone were to make fun of you for your age, then that person isn't the kind of person you should want as a friend, anyways. Think about. Your age is just a number and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone who decides to judge you by a number rather than who you are is someone who really doesn't deserve your friendship.
But besides that, hun, I really don't think you have too much to worry about because in university:
a) people are actually more mature and less likely to make fun of your age than in high school: by then, the people around you should have grown up a bit and should be more understanding of the fact that everyone has different experiences and journeys to university. You meet the chick who decided to take a year off and "find herself", the 'sister who changed majors', the 'friend who is working part time and studying', etc. Each person is different. I know most of my friends at university turned out to be much older than me for their own various reasons, as well (the one who was majoring in a second degree, the one who was a mother, etc.)
b) you have more of a chance of meeting people of different ages than in school. In university, you're not stuck hanging out with one grade-- you find freshmen taking classes with seniors and so forth. In electives, you find business students taking classes with sociology students and etc. There's more of a sense of 'diversity'. T
c) actually starting university at 20 means that you can have your driver's license and that's definitely a plus Your schedule can be pretty flexible (if you have a car)
d) No matter if you're two or three years older: you should still be able to relate with the people around you. It's not like you're from a different generation (and even if you were 40, hun, that shouldn't be held against you).
All you have to do is remember that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. Some people may ask you about your age and seem a little surprised: it's up to you to decide how to steer that conversation. You can simply keep it short and simple and say something like "Yeah, I took some time to get here" or you can explain your situation...whatever you want. In the end, though, remember you do not need their approval. Smile. And go to the next conversation =)
May Allah make things easier for you, sis.
Any sisters here started university a little late? What was your experience like? What advice do you have for this sister? :)