>> Thursday, April 25, 2013
The problem here is that .....my friends.. a few of them said, i am a merely fragile person..that i am too sensitive. When they give me criticisms, I try to take it in a positive way and use husn al zan, but, it is also difficult. More and more they are ostracizing me and it's really hurting me. why they can't accept me as i am while i can accept them as they are? i always pray that Allah forgive them and me as well and reward them with happiness. i am so sad. although this problem seems to be a childish-like- problem but being ostracized is very hurt and painful. Kindly to help me dear.
The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that."
And in all honesty, we really should try to do that, because this dunya is basically a test...And it tests us in every way. Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala tells us that a characteristic of jannah is that THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE NO HURTFUL WORDS ARE SPOKEN:
They will not hear therein any ill speech - only [greetings of] peace - and they will have their provision therein, morning and afternoon. (62) That is Paradise, which We give as inheritance to those of Our servants who were fearing of Allah.(19:63)
No ill speech will they hear therein or any falsehood - (35) [As] reward from your Lord, [a generous] gift [made due by] account,(36)[From] the Lord of the heavens and the earth and whatever is between them, the Most Merciful. They possess not from Him [authority for] speech. (37
That means, hunny bunch, by account of the Qu'ran itself, you have to realize that this world- this dunya- is a place where you will hear much that will hurt you.
But, sis, it doesn't have to break you.
Second, it's great that you try to use husn al zan..Keep doing that. Realize that a word has many meanings. If your friend says "You look really bad today", maybe they don't actually mean "Eeeow. What a yuck hair style/ horrible outfit", but actually mean "You look really tried/ down/ like something is bothering you."
Instead of deciding they mean the negative statement, try giving them a chance to explain themselves. Repeat what they said with a question hanging at the end:
second: really bad today? Or just ask them "Sorry, I didn't understand what you meant by that."
Eighth: Make dua :)