It's Not Too Late!

>> Monday, August 2, 2010





I wasn’t really born into a religious family. I met a nice friend, though, and recently I’ve started getting more and more interested in Islam. A friend told me about this blog and from what I’ve seen you guys aren’t judgmental. The thing is I’ve done so many wrong things…things I can’t even name. I’m so ashamed of myself. Sometimes I think it’s too late. My question is this: Can Allah really forgive me?

Ashamed


Dear my little friend Muneeba (I’m going to call you that because it means to ‘return to Allah’!)

Awww, I’m so glad that you have started to become more interested in Islam. That’s wonderful news! Alhamdillah. Remember, if you take one step to Allah, He draws near to you a fathom’s length!

Now about having committed sins…Can Allah forgive you? Can he, EVER! Of course, He can! He is the Forgiver, the One who accepts Repentance, the One who Blots our Sins…

In fact, no matter what sins you committed, I can pretty much bet you that you did not kill 50 people, right? What about 70? What about 99? What about 100? I mean we are talking literally murder 100 people…

I doubt very much that you, Muneeba, are a serial killer. And yet, look at how Allah is still able to forgive them if they truly repent.



Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Prophet of Allah (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "There was a man from among a nation before you who killed ninety-nine people and then made an inquiry about the most learned person on the earth. He was directed to a monk.

He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the negative and the man killed him, also completing one hundred. He then asked about the most learned man in the earth. He was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the affirmative and asked, `Who stands between you and repentance? Go to such and such land; there (you will find) people devoted to prayer and worship of Allah, join them in worship, and do not come back to your land because it is an evil place.' So he went away and hardly had he covered half the distance when death overtook him; and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of torment. The angels of mercy pleaded, 'This man has come with a repenting heart to Allah,' and the angels of punishment argued, 'He never did a virtuous deed in his life.' Then there appeared another angel in the form of a human being and the contending angels agreed to make him arbiter between them. He said, `Measure the distance between the two lands. He will be considered belonging to the land to which he is nearer.' They measured and found him closer to the land (land of piety) where he intended to go, and so the angels of mercy collected his soul".

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].


But you know what? In another version it actually read that "Allah commanded (the land which the man wanted to leave) to move away and commanded the other land (his destination) to draw nearer and then He said: "Now measure the distance between them.' It was found that he was nearer to his goal by a hand's span and was thus forgiven.”

Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala forgave that ‘murderer’. He granted him paradise. He moved the earth for his servant who showed sincere regret and an honest longing to return to Allah; obviously, then, if you do that too (if you show sincere regret and honest longing), He would do the same for you.

You see, the truth is, committing ‘sins’ doesn’t make you ‘unforgiveable’. Not at all. It only makes you human. Allah never told us to be ‘perfect’. He told us to try our best and return to Him whenever we made a mistake.

In a hadith qusdi, Allah says:


"O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."


The Messenger of Allah(Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was even reported to have said, "By the One in Whose Hand my soul is! If you do not commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah will certainly forgive them ..''

And you know what else he said? He said that Allah is sooooo happy when we repent! He said:


“Indeed, Allah is more happy with the repentance of His slave than a man who stops in a barren, desolate land; with him he has his riding animal. He then goes to sleep. When he wakes up, [he realizes that] his mount is gone. He searches for it until he is on the verge of dying. He then says, ‘I will return to the place wherein I lost it, and I will die there.’ He went to that place, and he was then overcome by sleep. When he woke up, his mount was [standing] right beside his head: on it was his food, his drink, his provisions, and the things he neded. Allah is more happy with the repentance of his believing slave than the aforementioned man when he finds his mount and his provisions.”

[al-Bukhaari: 6308 ; Muslim: 2744]



So what do you do now?

  • Have strong faith in Allah’s Mercy and forgiveness
Imam As Shafee’ on his death bed said:
  • 'My sins seemed very great to me but when I compared them to Your forgiveness,
    I found Your forgiveness to be far greater
    ",
    Repent: Stop doing the sin, feel regret, and resolve never to go back to it again.
  • Do some extra good deeds! Allah is looking for you to do a good deed- to show mercy to others… He is looking for any any excuse at all to grant you paradise. You know, we all know the hadith that says a good deed is rewarded 10 X- but if you read the actual words, it can be rewarded 700 X! It all depends on your sincerity, etc.
  • Try to find some “good” friends to support you. You might want to go check out the local mosque on Friday and get to know some other sisters. If your community isn’t that active, you can join an Islamic forum for sisters.
  • Obviously, make sure you stay away from not so good friends. If your iman isn’t that strong yet, peer pressure can really get you down.
  • Do more dhikr and keep making istighfaar.
  • Keep making dua that Allah forgives you and keeps you steadfast on His Path.
What about if you stepped on other people’s rights? Remember, Allah forgives what’s between you and Him but what involves others, you need to make up for it.

- If you talked about somebody behind their back (and we’ve all done that), you should try to apologize. You don’t need to go up to the person and say “Could you forgive me? I called you a jealous loser who has no friends and whose own mother can’t stand. I hope you don’t mind”. You don’t need to be auntie to know that’s not going to solve the problem! Instead, you could have a gathering with a bunch of your friends and you could say something like “Guys, I haven’t always been such a good friend. I’m really sorry for anything I might have said or done. I hope you guys can forgive me”. If you can’t meet all your friends, you could send a sincere forward or just make it your Facebook status.

- If you took something that didn’t belong to you, you really need to try to return it. Again, you don’t have to go straight to the person and say “Hey, dude, remember how you were looking for your 100 dollar bill and couldn’t find it? This is funny- it’s cause I stole it. Haha.” Yeah, that’s not going to work. Instead, try to be creative. For instance, if you took money, leave an anonymous envelope with cash on their doorstop. If you can’t return whatever it is you took (because the person moved away or something), then you can donate its value in money to the poor and make your niyah for that person to get the ajr.

If you do all this, inshaAllah, (and I know you can!), you’ll find on the Day of Judgment a great many ‘good deeds’ in your records that you don’t remember doing….You know why?

Because Allah would have changed your bad deeds to good!

Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will
replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.
[Surat Al Fuqran, 70]
Yallah, go for it! Run to Allah’s Mercy and Forgiveness and let’s race to Paradise,




P.S.

14 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Saba August 2, 2010 at 8:02 AM  

I really love the advice you give, Masha'Allah! The story you mentioned about the murderer is one of my favorite stories. It always gives me that hope I need that my sins are forgiven.

Alhamdulillah, I believe I was in a similar position as the person who contacted you. I, too, repented, and through Allah (swt)'s mercy I started hijab, changed my life around/my friends, and married a husband only for his strong iman. Alhamdulillah, I am a new person and my changes have also influenced my family to change (my mom started hijab...they pray five times a day...and my brother's dream that he is working to is to memorize Qur'an, Alhamdulillah). Allah (swt) is merciful beyond our understanding and there are signs of his mercy everywhere. Subhanallah.

rukhpar mor August 2, 2010 at 3:40 PM  

JAzakAllah very nice advice. Do people really email you with these questions?

Farah,  August 2, 2010 at 9:05 PM  

Jazakallah Khair! I really needed that as well right now; it's a reminder everyone can benefit from.

This isn't totally relevant, but I remember reading a hadith about how Allah (SWT) is to you however you view him. So, for example, if you see him as being forgiving and full of mercy, he will grant you his forgiveness and mercy. Sorry I couldn't come up with the exact hadith.

Little Auntie August 3, 2010 at 1:09 AM  

Saba, that’s really inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing that. To marry someone only for his imaan is something very rare to find today; Ma’shaallah to you!! Also, may Allah let your brother accomplish his dream and may He keep your whole family steadfast on the deen! May you all be together in jannah!
Rukhpar Mor- hahha, what a great question. Let me tell you this- all of these questions have really been ‘asked’ to us or ‘discussed’ with us but not necessarily through people who have sent emails to ‘dearlittleauntie’. There really have been some that have been sent to the email (e.g. the marriage troubles one, the arrogance one, the niqab one, the one asking how marriage works in Islam, etc. OH and lol, you asked about the premarital sex one, how to answer that), but a few of the others, were asked to us before we started this blog by people we met online (on forums and other websites, etc.) At the same time, some of the questions were also asked by our friends in real life/etc. We thought we might as well spread the love and advice :D

We also have received many other questions since starting dear little auntie but the people asking the questions have asked us to keep them private (and the purpose of this blog is to support others, not ‘disclose people’s private lives’, so of course, we respect their wishes and keep them confidential).

Farah, that is relevant!! Great point! I believe you’re referring to this hadith:

On the authority of Abu Harayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (PBUH) said: Allah the Almighty said:
I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.

(1) Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: "I am as My servant expects Me to be". The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty.

It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).

Jazaki Allah for bringing it up!

Iqra Asad August 3, 2010 at 8:49 AM  

Nice :)

What's meant by "sprinkely"?

Random19 August 3, 2010 at 12:08 PM  

LOVE IT!! i was a bit confused when i saw that new aunties have joined the little aunty :P but i read your bio and mashallah your the twin!! :P i wana ask who's the evil one haha
Oh, i am so happy sister who smiles has also joined you guys.. i wish to join too. but i myself stay in such a desperate need of advice that i dont feel i am good enough. :)

Hey, on the same note if you would like to read a piece or two of my amatuer articles can find em on IGIC

Great Advice again!! lovin' it
Salaam
Shireen

ishqia August 4, 2010 at 1:02 AM  

Mashallah you did a wonderful job there.

Little Auntie August 4, 2010 at 1:27 AM  

Iqra, heheh, I chose to make the comment section say 'sprinkely thoughts' because the logo of this blog is 'a dash of advice topped with a sprinkle of love' (like how a sundae is topped with those colorful little things). I want you guys to share your advice too, right...but I wanted to gently remind the commentators to also 'top it with a sprinkle of love'. So I wrote the word sprinkely- is it a real word? Nopes! LOL!

Random, haha, wouldn't you love to know who the evil one is :P Nah, there is no evil twinkie ;) BUT now that you said that you wrote a few articles on IGIC, I am thinking that's why your name (random19) was familiar. I am sure I read them before! But I will double check soon, inshaAllah.

Hey, you don't need to be an auntie to write your advice!! Whenever you see a topic that we're answering, just write your own advice in the comments section :D I'm sure you guys think of points we don't think of :)

Jazakun Allah koli hkair

athoofa August 4, 2010 at 7:44 AM  

Awww mashaAllah what a beautiful post! Loved all the advice you gave. Good company really, really helps! Being in the company of people to whom Islam really matters makes things a lot easier.

Allah is so Kind and full of Mercy Subhanallah. He gives us everything and only asks us to obey Him. But we falter and He Knows we do, but He still waits for us to repent, is happy at our repentance and forgives us. Subhanallah!!

As He says: Say: "O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing sins) Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Alhamdulillah!!

Keep the posts coming!! Jazakum Allahu Kheiran dear twinkie aunties **hugs**

P.S loved your explanation for "sprinkely comments" I wondered what sprinkely was too :P Awww "topped with a sprinkle of love" !!

Farah,  August 4, 2010 at 10:14 AM  

Yep that was the hadith! Thanks for finding it!

romaseba,  August 21, 2011 at 6:09 AM  

Mashallah sisters - this is a very motivational article - gives you a really good feeling that there are others in this world who have commited sins and are looking for a way how to repent to Allah for a place in Jannah - I think it's good to repent from a young age because you will not fall for the same mistake when you are more older when your sins really do count - May Allah guide us all
Salams :) xx

PotentialHijabi November 6, 2011 at 9:11 AM  

Masha'allah loved your advice auntie!

But since a few days now.. I'm facing a prob.. if you could just give me some quick advice over it!..
I know Allah is ever merciful.. but whenver I think of my faults I feel he wont forgive me. And even though I keep telling myself he wil..There is always this thought a voice that keeps telling me that my sins cannot be forgiven!And because of this I feel I am having an iman dip too! .. You know like too many satanic whispers questioning my faith.. Na'audhu billa! And also i feel a void in my heart.. it feels so empty and lifeless.. even though I pray 5 times alhumdulillah.. and listen to quran.. I cant understand where I am going wrong! :( or if Allah is angry with me coz of something!! :(

Please pray for me! I'm very scared I dont want to fall prey to these weird thoughts and move away from Allah!.. isn't there any magical way of staying "imanfull" forever?!

Little Auntie November 7, 2011 at 8:39 AM  

Oh, subhanAllah, I know what you mean about imaan dips. Unfortunately, there isn't a magical way of staying imanful all the time, but we did write a few ways that might help you here:

http://dearlittleauntie.blogspot.com/2010/12/fed-up-of-roller-coaster-ride.html

Most of all, remember that some scholars say that a 'sin' that helps you remember Allah is better than a good deeds that makes you forget Allah. All you have to do is 'regret' that sin and to ask Allah to guide your heart back to Him <3

PotentialHijabi November 8, 2011 at 2:38 AM  

Jazakallahu Khair, auntie! :)

Yup, yup, that's something I always try to remind myself of, Alhumdulillah.. what could be better than feeling close to Allah even if its with a painful heart!

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

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