Horror-Mornal

I CAN'T control my emotions in my period. I hate to be talking of this subject, but it's such a problem. I'm very irritable, I'm rude to everyone, I cry for no reason, and I can't get any studies done in the peak days. I'm just useless and very ungrateful to Allah in those days. What do I do?

Dear Hormonal,

I know what you mean.

There was this one time where I remember I just grabbed a whole box of chocolate bars and munched my way through them.

 Me: Munch. Munch. Munch. Finished? Next one. Looks up. Err...are you talking to me? Kindly press the exit button (the door) and leave me to my chocolate,  please.  

Needless to say, it was very much not a Mona Lisa sight, lol (i.e. not a pretty sight...) 

But yeah, I definitely understand what you mean about being down on those days. It's s great though that you have decided to no longer use it as an excuse to be "rude" to others or "be ungrateful to Allah".

 So what can you do? :)

Well, let's work on the irritability. If you're under stress or feeling intense pain, it makes sense that you would be a little irritable. When you're irritable, you feel like taking it out on someone ...You know that saying? Misery loves company. It's really rather true, unfortunately. 

Pain --> Irritability -->;Wanting to take it out on someone--> Rudeness and Emotional Meltdown....

Basically, you get stuck in a cycle. 

That's why it's a good idea to tackle your physical discomfort, first. Here are some of suggestions to decrease your pain and even help your mood: 

Step 1 Exercise regularly. Getting enough exercise can relieve cramping and boost your mood. Over time, exercise can even prevent some premenstrual symptoms. Even low-impact exercise such as walking and dancing can provide relief.
Step 2 Practice relaxation techniques. (It lists yoga as one, but why don't we go with breathing techniques?)                                                                                                                 Step 3 Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. Include lean protein, good fats such as olive oil and nuts, and fruits and vegetables. Whole grains contain vitamins B6 and E, which may relieve symptoms. The calcium in low-fat dairy products can also help. (I've personally heard that eating bananas before your period helps reduce cramps.)

Tips and Warnings

• Drink more water, which flushes out your kidneys and can decrease bloating. Consult your doctor if your premenstrual symptoms are severe or interfere with your life. You may have a condition called premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which can be treated with medication.

• Avoid salt, sugar, alcohol and caffeine, all of which may worsen your symptoms.

References
From: http://www.livestrong.com/article/373283-how-to-deal-with-rising-hormones-in-the-second-half-of-a-menstrual-cycle/#ixzz24s3rF5hF  

I've also heard that herbal teas can help make you feel better (like chamomile, ginger, or peppermint) and adding a few drops of oils to your bath (lavender, rose, olive oil). You can read more about those here: 

http://tipnut.com/cramp-remedies/

Hot baths or hot water bottles can help the tension in your stomach, too :)

Besides all of those things to make you feel more physically comfortable, what can you do for your emotional needs? What can you do to also reconnect with Allah and not feel ungrateful to Him? 

• Think about utilizing your "emotional needs" and turning to Allah with a LONG dua. I mean, how many of us "crash when we get our periods" and just end up calling a good girl friend and complaining about anything and everything? Why not turn it into a positive dua where you ask Allah for the things that you NEED (instead of complaining about what you have) and whatever else you really want?  
• Make an extra effort to listen to the Qur'an. I've actually found that my heightened emotions can actually make me tear more when listening to the Qu'ran than on a non-period day :)
• Listen to some beautiful nasheeds. Soothing rhythms and inspiring words that express beautiful meanings can really help calm you down/ help you pinpoint your emotions a bit. Here's an example:
• 
  
• Save some short Islamic videos for that time. They can be ones you watched and really liked or ones you haven't watched, yet. 
• Browse through some beautiful Islamic Tumbler accounts....You may just find a captivating quote that will speak to your heart and mood and also bring you a step closer to Allah :)

As for ingratitude, start by working on that during your other days...the days when you don't have your period. Each day, write ONE thing that you are thankful for, including even (not having cramps today :P) health...the ability to concentrate...etc. 

By doing that, you've built up a stock of "gratitude attitude" that will hopefully leak over during your period. If you write down in your mobile or notebook, too, that would be awesome because then you could just leaf through it during your period days.

Think also bout the fact that you don't have to go through this pain every day. That's not a "right" you have....That's a gift from Allah. If Allah wanted, He could have willed that you had your period for 25 days, for example instead of a week. Imagine!

And think about how Merciful Allah is that He doesn't ask you to wake up at fajr time to pray. He could easily have forced it upon us....yet, instead, He gave us a license to not pray! How many teachers do you know that would accept that as an excuse? How about bosses? (As a working woman, I can tell you the answer to that. Z.E.R.O. Their attitude is 'You deal with it".)

I'm also going to include a video for you to watch/ keep in mind: (I just watched it today :)

Look at this woman. Her medical condition is that she doesn't have "fat". Fat. Have you ever considered that as a blessing? I'm sure most of us haven't. This video shows us that even our FAT CAN be a blessing. So many things we have, we take for granted. We don't even know what to be thankful for, really :)  Try saying that to Allah: Your blessings are numerous upon me, that I can't count them or even know them. 

What about being rude?

Let's be honest, girls. A lot of us DO use our periods as an excuse to "barf" up rude remarks. I know I've been guilty of it, myself. 

But it's not fair to the people around us, is it? 

If you're at the dinner table and feel like you really want to bite someone's head off because they're like "slurping the soup"/ "talking about something that at that moment seems ridiculously stupid to ONLY YOU" and have nothing polite to say, it's not a bad idea to excuse yourself for a bit until you're feeling a little better. If you're rude with your friends, you can even warn them in advance, like "Guys, I get really cranky during my period and I just want to apologize in case I say anything rude to you". 

The next step though is to really work on it: count to 20 before saying the comment, think about typing the comment into your mobile for example but not actually saying it out loud or sending it to anyone, and ask yourself, "When my period is done, will I be happy that I said this? Does this comment make me a better person? Is it necessary to say?"

As for not getting things done and being not so productive, one thing is to write a schedule and to keep in mind that you don't feel like working much when you have your period. You should have a pretty good idea when your period is arriving. If you happen to know that you're going to have a huge assignment to turn in or an upcoming test, try to force yourself to get as much work done as possible, beforehand.

During your actual period, I know that it can sometimes be hard to concentrate. Try to break up the workload so that it doesn't feel like it's too much. If you can, ask a friend to quiz your or study with you.  If you're not up to meeting with people, try putting an alarm on your mobile for 20 minutes. Just concentrate for 20 minutes and then take a quick break. 

Then go back to studying for 20 minutes...and so forth.

Another thing to keep in mind is that usefulness is not only about studying hard. You can be productive by doing some other things, too. For instance, I know my first period day is usually my most challenging day. If I had the ability to, I would personally divide my studying for the days AFTER IT, and instead, on my period do some other tasks that need to be done, like "cleaning up my desktop", sorting my closet, finding those missing socks (haha), trying out a new recipe, cleaning up my room, etc." Maybe downloading some "sample tests" but not necessarily doing them the same day.....

And dhikr, dhikr, dhikr. Take a moment to say Alhamdullilah. Saying that will make your day count, inshaAllah :)

Well, sweets, that is all that I could come up with. I hope the sisters here can give us some more ideas on how to be normal when we're feeling utterly hormonal :)