>> Thursday, September 13, 2012

I CAN'T control my emotions in my period. I hate to be talking of this subject, but it's such a problem. I'm very irritable, I'm rude to everyone, I cry for no reason, and I can't get any studies done in the peak days. I'm just useless and very ungrateful to Allah in those days. What do I do?

Dear Hormonal,

I know what you mean.
There was this one time where I remember I just grabbed a whole box of chocolate bars and munched my way through them.
 Me: Munch. Munch. Munch. Finished? Next one. Looks up. Err...are you talking to me? Kindly press the exit button (the door) and leave me to my chocolate,  please.  

Needless to say, it was very much not a Mona Lisa sight, lol (i.e. not a pretty sight...) 

But yeah, I definitely understand what you mean about being down on those days. It's s great though that you have decided to no longer use it as an excuse to be "rude" to others or "be ungrateful to Allah".

 So what can you do? :)

Well, let's work on the irritability. If you're under stress or feeling intense pain, it makes sense that you would be a little irritable. When you're irritable, you feel like taking it out on someone ...You know that saying? Misery loves company. It's really rather true, unfortunately. 

Pain --> Irritability -->;Wanting to take it out on someone--> Rudeness and Emotional Meltdown....

Basically, you get stuck in a cycle. 

That's why it's a good idea to tackle your physical discomfort, first. Here are some of suggestions to decrease your pain and even help your mood: 

Step 1 Exercise regularly. Getting enough exercise can relieve cramping and boost your mood. Over time, exercise can even prevent some premenstrual symptoms. Even low-impact exercise such as walking and dancing can provide relief.
Step 2 Practice relaxation techniques. (It lists yoga as one, but why don't we go with breathing techniques?)                                                                                                                 Step 3 Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. Include lean protein, good fats such as olive oil and nuts, and fruits and vegetables. Whole grains contain vitamins B6 and E, which may relieve symptoms. The calcium in low-fat dairy products can also help. (I've personally heard that eating bananas before your period helps reduce cramps.)

Tips and Warnings
  • Drink more water, which flushes out your kidneys and can decrease bloating. Consult your doctor if your premenstrual symptoms are severe or interfere with your life. You may have a condition called premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which can be treated with medication.
  • Avoid salt, sugar, alcohol and caffeine, all of which may worsen your symptoms.
From: http://www.livestrong.com/article/373283-how-to-deal-with-rising-hormones-in-the-second-half-of-a-menstrual-cycle/#ixzz24s3rF5hF  

I've also heard that herbal teas can help make you feel better (like chamomile, ginger, or peppermint) and adding a few drops of oils to your bath (lavender, rose, olive oil). You can read more about those here: 

Hot baths or hot water bottles can help the tension in your stomach, too :)

Besides all of those things to make you feel more physically comfortable, what can you do for your emotional needs? What can you do to also reconnect with Allah and not feel ungrateful to Him? 

  • Think about utilizing your "emotional needs" and turning to Allah with a LONG dua. I mean, how many of us "crash when we get our periods" and just end up calling a good girl friend and complaining about anything and everything? Why not turn it into a positive dua where you ask Allah for the things that you NEED (instead of complaining about what you have) and whatever else you really want?  
  • Make an extra effort to listen to the Qur'an. I've actually found that my heightened emotions can actually make me tear more when listening to the Qu'ran than on a non-period day :)
  • Listen to some beautiful nasheeds. Soothing rhythms and inspiring words that express beautiful meanings can really help calm you down/ help you pinpoint your emotions a bit. Here's an example:

  • Save some short Islamic videos for that time. They can be ones you watched and really liked or ones you haven't watched, yet. 
  • Browse through some beautiful Islamic Tumbler accounts....You may just find a captivating quote that will speak to your heart and mood and also bring you a step closer to Allah :)

As for ingratitude, start by working on that during your other days...the days when you don't have your period. Each day, write ONE thing that you are thankful for, including even (not having cramps today :P) health...the ability to concentrate...etc. 

By doing that, you've built up a stock of "gratitude attitude" that will hopefully leak over during your period. If you write down in your mobile or notebook, too, that would be awesome because then you could just leaf through it during your period days.

Think also bout the fact that you don't have to go through this pain every day. That's not a "right" you have....That's a gift from Allah. If Allah wanted, He could have willed that you had your period for 25 days, for example instead of a week. Imagine!

And think about how Merciful Allah is that He doesn't ask you to wake up at fajr time to pray. He could easily have forced it upon us....yet, instead, He gave us a license to not pray! How many teachers do you know that would accept that as an excuse? How about bosses? (As a working woman, I can tell you the answer to that. Z.E.R.O. Their attitude is 'You deal with it".)

I'm also going to include a video for you to watch/ keep in mind: (I just watched it today :)

Look at this woman. Her medical condition is that she doesn't have "fat". Fat. Have you ever considered that as a blessing? I'm sure most of us haven't. This video shows us that even our FAT CAN be a blessing. So many things we have, we take for granted. We don't even know what to be thankful for, really :)  Try saying that to Allah: Your blessings are numerous upon me, that I can't count them or even know them. 

What about being rude?

Let's be honest, girls. A lot of us DO use our periods as an excuse to "barf" up rude remarks. I know I've been guilty of it, myself. 

But it's not fair to the people around us, is it? 

If you're at the dinner table and feel like you really want to bite someone's head off because they're like "slurping the soup"/ "talking about something that at that moment seems ridiculously stupid to ONLY YOU" and have nothing polite to say, it's not a bad idea to excuse yourself for a bit until you're feeling a little better. If you're rude with your friends, you can even warn them in advance, like "Guys, I get really cranky during my period and I just want to apologize in case I say anything rude to you". 

The next step though is to really work on it: count to 20 before saying the comment, think about typing the comment into your mobile for example but not actually saying it out loud or sending it to anyone, and ask yourself, "When my period is done, will I be happy that I said this? Does this comment make me a better person? Is it necessary to say?"

As for not getting things done and being not so productive, one thing is to write a schedule and to keep in mind that you don't feel like working much when you have your period. You should have a pretty good idea when your period is arriving. If you happen to know that you're going to have a huge assignment to turn in or an upcoming test, try to force yourself to get as much work done as possible, beforehand.

During your actual period, I know that it can sometimes be hard to concentrate. Try to break up the workload so that it doesn't feel like it's too much. If you can, ask a friend to quiz your or study with you.  If you're not up to meeting with people, try putting an alarm on your mobile for 20 minutes. Just concentrate for 20 minutes and then take a quick break. 
Then go back to studying for 20 minutes...and so forth.

Another thing to keep in mind is that usefulness is not only about studying hard. You can be productive by doing some other things, too. For instance, I know my first period day is usually my most challenging day. If I had the ability to, I would personally divide my studying for the days AFTER IT, and instead, on my period do some other tasks that need to be done, like "cleaning up my desktop", sorting my closet, finding those missing socks (haha), trying out a new recipe, cleaning up my room, etc." Maybe downloading some "sample tests" but not necessarily doing them the same day.....

And dhikr, dhikr, dhikr. Take a moment to say Alhamdullilah. Saying that will make your day count, inshaAllah :)

Well, sweets, that is all that I could come up with. I hope the sisters here can give us some more ideas on how to be normal when we're feeling utterly hormonal :)

6 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Ghadeer September 13, 2012 at 2:26 PM  

I love the tips you've got here and thank you so much for posting that video. I've never really considered fat a blessing :( Al hamdulilah

I just wanted to add that it helps taking pain-killers and then going right to bed, especially if you know you wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway. That way you wake up refreshed and pain-relived.

Also, eating dates can help reduce period pain alot! Tried and tested :)

Anonymous,  September 13, 2012 at 8:35 PM  

Assalamu Alaykum ,
I want to start exercising regularly but I dont know where to start. Any tips from anyone would be really beneficial inshaAllah.

Anonymous,  September 13, 2012 at 10:53 PM  

I will second the suggestion that if you have aches and pains or cramps, take some ibuprofen (advil, motrin, etc). In fact I have also heard take it the day BEFORE your period starts, this will help a lot.

I have awful symptoms before and during my period. It starts days before with being depressed and extremely emotional, it seems like the world is falling apart. For some reason, I rarely realize that this is the reason I feel that way, though it's so predictable, until after it starts... then I'm like.... Ohh, yes. All is not lost. And I just have to hope I didn't say anything crazy to anybody during that time.

KEEP a close eye on the calendar. Mark expected dates and as many days beforehand as you are usually symptomatic so you can be prepared. SCHEDULE LIGHTLY. If you can avoid situations you know are going to be stressful during the worst time for you (even like a family activity or outing), reschedule them. Plan for low key activity. If you take it easy it is easier to manage the emotional ups and downs, if you put yourself in a stressful situation on top of it, even something you could normally handle, it's going to be much worse.

DON'T make any major decisions during your worst time. The worst time for me is a day or so before and a few days after my period starts but it varies by person. And my period usually goes for 10 days. Don't try to make any big decisions or agonize over life changes, start fights or try to connect with long lost acquaintances, etc during this time, consciously delay such things as best you can until you are on more stable ground.

For me, avoiding sugar, caffeine, etc is not realistic. For one thing I used to get terrible migraines a day or so before my period started. Caffeine actually helped get through these, but it varies by person. If you know you will get awful headaches, plan accordingly and be prepared with whatever helps them, even if its staying in bed. Also many people get cravings before the period starts (for me it's the night before) usually for carbs. Don't force yourself not to eat, I think there's a reason for this, just don't carry it to extremes. I don't think there is anything wrong with some comfort food during your period if it helps. If a cup of tea with sugar and a chocolate help calm things down, so be it. Figure out what works for you, don't carry it to extremes but it's not a good time to decide to start dieting or something either. Don't worry about the scale during your period, most people retain water at this time and it will go up, then return to normal after your period.

If you are in pain, I don't recommend forcing yourself to exercise at the worst time of your period. This used to make me very sick feeling. If it helps, do it, otherwise take it easy on the bad days. Something like an easy walk in the park may be both calming and not too hard your system, plus may help you to calm down.

If you get dizzy or lightheaded, have a hard time focusing at this time, and have heavy periods, it may be due to blood pressure drops which can be worse at this time. This was the case for me. Taking salt will make you feel better in this case and has been a huge help for me for the physical symptoms. Helping feel better physically can also make it easier to deal with the emotional upheaval.

S.A. September 14, 2012 at 6:53 PM  

"And think about how Merciful Allah is that He doesn't ask you to wake up at fajr time to pray. He could easily have forced it upon us....yet, instead, He gave us a license to not pray!"
I never looked at it this way!

And another thing: I don't know why TheDumbI never realized that animals don't menstruate. If Allah wanted to, He could have made us humans that way too. So, there must be good reason behind Allah having created our systems this way, subhanAllah, alhamdolillah.


Unknown September 15, 2012 at 1:49 AM  

Assalamualeikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu lovely SISTERS!

MashaAllah, as always, you guys affect the heart right away, through your writing. I love it, mashaAllah.

This question in particular..... When I first read it, I thought I'd found my twin sister! The things she wrote is exactly how I feel. And I love your answers, jazakumullahu khairan!


Aysha @ www.thecreativemuslimah.blogspot.com

Anonymous,  October 20, 2012 at 10:16 AM  

this is some really good advice, i get severe period pains and this helped allot!! :) JAZAKALLAH!

Post a Comment

Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

wibiya widget

  © Blogger template Snowy Winter by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP