>> Monday, September 3, 2012
I've got a major problem. I really can't stand my siblings. I've got a brother and sister but I don't feel like we are even related. IstagfirAllah, my brother is involved in everything he shouldn't be. It's so bad- smoking- clubbing- etc. He does not pray and didn't even fast Ramadan. In the beginning, I tried talking to him, but it's like there's no point. My sister is in her own little land where everything in the universe revolves around her. She also has no sense of identity or any idea of what responsibility is.
The disrespect they show my mother and the humiliation they've caused my family is just getting to be too much. I literally am too embarrassed to look my neighbors in the eye or to even go to the masjid because of all that they've done. It's actually been a month since I've talked to them and I feel like I may never talk to them again. Please help me change my heart and mind because I know I’m capable of never speaking to them ever again and it’s terrifying me.
On the authority of Abu Sa`id (Radiya Allah Anhoo) that the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said, “Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” (Muslim)
Allah SWT says, “…but Allah has endeared to you the faith and has made it pleasing in your hearts and has made hateful to you disbelief, defiance and disobedience. Those are the guided.” [Al-Hujurat 49:7]
If cutting relations with him would make him stop dealing with usury and interest, then you should cut relations with him.
However, if cutting relations with him, renders him stubborn and makes him extend his dealings in falsehood, then you should not cut relations with him but rather continue advising him.
"The believer who mixes with people and is patient in the face of their offense is preferable to the believer who does not mix with people and is not patient with their offense"
Abu Sufyan sat down at the door of the tent of Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) and his son Jafar stood beside him. But still Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) rejected to look at him.
The situation became too much for Abu sufyan and he said: By God, either the Prophet, peace be on him, shows he is pleased with me or I shall take my son and go wandering through the land until we die of hunger and thirst.
When Prophet Mohamed heard this, he relented and on leaving his tent, he looked more gently towards me then before. I so much hoped that he would smile.
Eventually Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) relented and told Abu Sufyan, "There is now no blame on you."
The Prophet then called Ali ibn Abi Talib who had newly embraced Islam and told him:
"Teach your cousin how to perform wudu and about the Sunnah. Then bring him back to me."
When Ali returned, the Prophet said: "Tell all the people that the Messenger of God is pleased with Abu Sufyan and that they should be pleased with him."
…and whatever good you put forward for yourselves - you will find it with Allah. Indeed, Allah of what you do, is Seeing. (2: 110)
You see? Allah will never let your efforts and deeds go to waste. NEVER.
Bukhari :: Book 9 :: Volume 93 :: Hadith 593
Narrated Abu Huraira:Allah’s Apostle said, “Allah created the creation, and when He finished from His creation the Rahm (womb) got up, and Allah said (to it). “Stop! What do you want? It said; “At this place I seek refuge with You from all those who sever me (i.e. sever the ties of Kinship.)” Allah said: “Would you be pleased that I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, and I will sever the relation with the one who will sever the relation with you. It said: ‘Yes, ‘O my Lord.’ Allah said (to it), ‘That is for you.” And then Abu Huraira recited the Verse:– “Would you then if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship.” (47.22)
And just try....one more time :)
With all my love,