Sometimes I Wonder...

>> Sunday, December 2, 2012

 

 Salam sisters,I could use some help.I come from a middle class family but I go to a school with a lot of rich kids who have the latest clothes, laptops, gadgets, etc.. Sometimes, I find myself looking at my friend's things longingly....I don't mean to complain, but sometimes I do feel jealous of them. I find myself wondering why is it that they have been blessed with these things and not me? I really want to get rid of these thoughts but can't...I hope you can help me.

            
                     Assalamualaykoum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhoo ^.^
  My Dear Sis,
 I totally hear you!  I have to say it's great, Masha Allah, that you don't want to keep having those thoughts :) They can really get in the way of our lives… and I'm sure lots of other girls (rich or not) have felt or feel the same way as you do. Including me.
We're all human, and sometimes it's hard when you feel like, while everyone else is wearing that latest designer outfit or just bought the newest iPhone -- you're still stuck with items that are, like, so yesterday (I'm joking!) :P It gets really hard not to feel jealous. We also sort of wonder why we don't have those things.
We start wishing we had more. Better. Greater.
Instead of being thankful for what Allah (SWT) bestowed upon us, we sort of start feeling like it's not enough. We start comparing ourselves to our friends, family… maybe millionaires or celebrities.
Sometimes it's just to "fit in" or because "everyone else has it".
As muslims, though, our Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) advised us at times when we feel jealous or envious:

 "Do not look to those above you. Look to those below you, as it will more likely remind you of Allah's favours bestowed on you." [Bukhari & Muslim]

Compared to many people, 'we have it good'. We seriously don't know the blessings we have until they're taken away… which is very sad, to say the least :(
You mentioned that there are lots of rich kids at your school… that reminded me of a little misconception people make sometimes:
                                Being Rich = Everything I want + Happiness
The harsh reality: That isn’t true.
This is DUNYA were talking about. It really isn’t meant to be perfect. No matter if your the richest, most poplar, most beautiful, etc… it's never gonna make you completely happy.
Have you ever thought carefully about those people you’re jealous of? Have you ever actually seen how their lives are outside of school?
Perhaps the girl with the latest designer purse has no one to talk to at home. Maybe her parents are busy making money and completely ignore her. Maybe the girl with the latest iphone looks at YOU and wishes she could look like you or have your body. Think about the fact that you don't actually know how it feels to be in their shoes....

Hmm… but maybe the thing that puzzles you most is WHY. Why do they have blessings that you don't have?
Well, how about I give you the answer with a wonderful hadith that makes me smile every time I read it… :) 

Umar Ibn Khattab (May Allah Be Pleased With Him) narrated:
I visited Allah's Messenger (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salaam) one day, and he was lying on a mat. I sat down and saw that the mat (he had been laying on) had left its marks on his sides. I looked with my eyes in the storeroom of Allah's Messenger (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam). I found only a handful of barley equal to one handful and an equal quantity of the leaves of Mimosa Flava  (Hmm…not exactly sure what that is. Sorry for the interruption! haha :)) placed in the nook of the cell, and a semi-tanned leather bag hanging (in one side).
 I was moved to tears (on seeing the extremely harsh living of the Holy Prophet). Upon seeing my tears, he said: "Ibn Khattab, what makes you weep?"
I replied: "Apostle of Allah, why should I not shed tears? This mat has left its marks on your sides and I do not see in your storeroom (except these few things) that I have seen; Caesar  and Chosroes are leading their lives in plenty whereas you are Allah's Messenger. His chosen one, and that is your store!"
 He said: "Ibn Khattab, aren't you satisfied that for us (there should be the prosperity) of the Hereafter, and for them (there should be the prosperity of) this world?"
I replied: "Yes." (Bukhari & Muslim)

Isn't that wonderful, SubhanaAllah? :) I think there are two main important things in this hadith:
1) Muhammad (PBUH) was a Prophet. The chosen one. The last & final Prophet.
 If he wanted to live in luxury, to have the most lavish clothes, the grandest meals, the largest house… don't you think he could have? Yet look at our beloved Prophet (PBUH)… he barely had anything except the clothes on his back, and a roof over his head.
And Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) saw the conditions in which the Prophet lived. He was so hurt to see the  Prophet (PBUH) that way, that it moved him to tears. Can you imagine? The man who was known for his strength, strong will, and boldness…
And when the Prophet asked him why he was crying, part of his answer was that he had seen Caesar (The Emperor of Rome at that time) & Chosroes (The King of Persia) living their lives in plenty.
Just like when we see that certain person or people with more blessings than us… except Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) wasn't thinking about himself, he was thinking about the Prophet (PBUH). 
That gets me to the second 'main important thing'. You still with me? ;P
2) When you see this hadith for the first time, and you read Umar Ibn Kattab's description of the Prophet's house, you might think: "Why is does he live like a poor man? I mean, isn't he THE Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)?"    
Maybe that's what Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) thought too. He wondered & asked: Why?                                   
And Umar Ibn Kattab (May Allah be pleased with him) got his answer. In a way, we also got an answer :)
Allah (SWT) gives his blessing to those who don't believe in him in this world. A world that for us spans an average of 60 years. A world that will come to an end one day. Soon.
Those who believe in Allah (SWT) will also get his blessings in this world. But if someone else has it better than them, they know that, inshaAllah, they will be rewarded fully in the next life.
Hold on though. It won't be just any 'next life'.
It will be an immortal life. A perfect one. With anything your heart desires. Things that never even flew by your imagination. Anything you don't like won't be there…And everything you do like will be a million times better. You will never feel bored, tired, angry, annoyed, jealous…
And the best part: It goes on FOREVER. It will never end.
Now… think about it.
Doesn't it feel kinda like a rip off to those who don't believe in Allah (SWT) and get everything in this life? They can have all their expensive clothes and latest gadgets… but in the end, we get something better :) We just have to work hard and try to be the best muslims we can be. InshaAllah, we will be rewarded to the fullest!

AbduAllah ibn Mas'ud (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated: (Once) the Holy Prophet (PBUH) slept on a mat made of date palm leaves. When he awoke, the impressions of the mat were visible on his body.
We said: "O Messenger of Allah! May we prepare a soft bedding for you?"
He said: "I have got nothing to do with the world. I am in this world like a rider who halts in the shade of a tree for a short time and after taking some rest, resumes his journey leaving the tree behind." (Tirmidhi)
  
Hope this helps, Sis :) May Allah (SWT) grant you (and us too, of course :P) all you want in this life and the next… Concentrate on whats important, and the other things will come along ;)
   
       Sincerely forever,

 

                                   
P.S. Just to Clarify, there is nothing wrong with having the latest clothes, electronic, etc. What is wrong is when there is no belief in Allah (SWT) in my opinion. 
   

3 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Anonymous,  December 3, 2012 at 10:41 AM  

Even though this wasn't my question, I felt like this was a reminder to ME, personally. jaakillah khair blissful dreams

Hnia December 4, 2012 at 6:58 AM  

Lovely answer, Masha Allah.

Blissful Dreams,  December 4, 2012 at 4:47 PM  

Anon: No problem ^.^ I really glad this was helpful in some way!

Hnia: Thanks a bunch :D

- Blissful Dreams

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
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