Profile Picture Dilema

Asalaumu Alaikum,Jazakallah for this amazing blog, it has helped me alot. Keep it up. I have a problem in convincing a cousin of mine to remove a revealing profile picture of her on a social networking site that I've seen quite recently. It really makes me upset to see her exposing her beauty in such a public environment. The only problem is that I don't have regular contact with her and her family. Should I just tell her to remove her picture immediately in a strict sort of way/proffesional or I should I speak to her in a lighter tone, even though we're not close? Please help me find a solution to this
Worrying for my sister

wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo!

 I'm going to take a moment to give a message to all my sisters here:

SubhanAllah, social media really has become a trial for us in that way: we love compliments and hearing that we're attractive and what easier way to get a compliment than to press that camera button and flash away (..and upload, of course). And what smiles we have on our faces as the number of likes for our pictures go up. But SISTERS....before you post that picture, ask yourself: would Allah want you to put that picture? Are you looking beautiful to Allah in this picture? Are you maintaining the dignity Allah bestowed upon you? The honor of being His servant? The grace and mercy of being a believer in Him who molded and fashioned you?

And sisters...if you have guys on your account (which we have repeatedly been against on this blog), and you a compliment on how sexy/hot you look....Try translating that message to: "You've sparked my  imagination and I might possibly be imagining you now WITHOUT clothes on."  In fact, a psychological study was conducted on men viewing pictures of women wearing bikinis. The study found that the area associated in the brain with "objects" lit up when the men saw these pictures. http://edition.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/19/women.bikinis.objects/

Is that what you want? I don't want a single one of you to ever want to be lumped together in the same category as an object. It's not the number of guys who line up to look at your pictures that makes you beautiful. You are beautiful because you were created by Allah, the Almighty. And in keeping your relationship with Allah and boundaries that He has set, do you grow far more beautiful.

Now! Back to your question, darling. It is really great that you love your cousin enough to not want her putting up exposing pictures of herself. Use that 'love' when you come to give her nasiha.

Always, always, put yourself at the position of the person you are giving nasiha to. Would you prefer for someone to use a strict tone with you? Or a lighter tone filled with love? Remember that EVEN Moosa alyhee wa salam was told to remind Firawn gently!!

Go, both of you, to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. (43) And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah]." ) Surat Taha

Let me give you a couple of scenarios:

Strict tone cousin: Listen, cousin, the picture you have is so inappropriate and haram. You should remove it immediately. Now. Right now. What are you waiting for? I want to come on later and see it GONE. Zapped. Istagfirullah. Auzoobillah from this!

Her possible response: Oh, "Miss Holy", thank you for your nasiha. Not. Allah's my Judge. Not you. 

Light Tone: Hey cousin! Eid Mubarak! I hope you and your family have a great Eid this year. By the way, you are looking really fabulous in your pics...but there was one pic that kinda worried me. That one with the _____shirt/dress... You know, you never know whose looking at your pictures on Facebook and what they're doing with them. You're far more beautiful than to have strangers going goo goo gaga over you. You're a treasure, hun, and don't forget that.

Possible response: Thanks :) I hope you have a great Eid, too. How are you doing and how's your family? InshaAllah, I'll think about that picture :) 

She is far more likely to respond to a lighter tone where she feels that you worry about her and love her than one where she feels that you think you are her teacher, setting her right. And she will probably be more inclined to keeping in touch with you...which means you might be able to help her more :)

Another thing you can do is also put up this link: it's an article where a mom of teenage sons writes to girls about their pictures on facebook

http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/

You can write something like: "OH, a must read!" And you can tag her and a bunch of others in that link so that she reads it but doesn't feel that it's only intended for her.

You can even put this post up =) 

With love,

Little Auntie