Inna Lilahee Wa Inna Ilayhee Rahjoun.

Asalamu Alaykum sisters,

It has been a little over a week since my grandmother has died, Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. She has lived with us my entire life and raised us while our parents were working. I understand that it was her time to go, but it still really hurts to have someone who you would talk to everyday be gone. She died here in our home with us and many others home. My question is what kind of dua can I read for her? I feel like I'm constantly repeating the same thing...and I only speak english, is that okay? (like, Oh Allah forgive her, have mercy on her, make her grave spacious) But is there something I can read that will really benefit her? And is it true that when I speak of someone who has passed they can hear me? And I've heard mixed opinions about visiting the grave, which I would love to do if I don't get punished for it. Also is it okay to ask Allah to allow you to have a dream of them? Just to see how they are? I guess in short what I'm really trying to ask is what can I do for her now that she is gone. I want her to know that I will always love her and not forget her.

JazakAllah Khair,
Grandma's girl.

wa'alykum as salam rahmatullah wa barkatoo,
Dearest Grandma's Girl,

To Allah, we belong and to Him we return. Inna lilahee wa inna ilayhee rajoun! I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother’s death. I can tell you were really close to your grandmother, and it must really hurt now that she’s gone. Big hug!

I want you, though, to take a good look at the pictures below. Aren't they beautiful?

Just in case you were wondering those are pictures of the Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe.

Now, I want you to think about how beautiful jannah is. We can’t even begin to imagine it. Jannah was designed by God for those He loves the most. InshaAllah your grandmother has started her journey to that place which is a million times more beautiful than those pictures…inshaAllah her grave is a garden of paradise :)

Does that mean you can’t grieve? No, it doesn’t. When Prophet Mohammed’s son, Ibrahim, died, the Prophet (sallah Allaha alayhee wa salaam) said:

The Eyes Tear, the heart is in pain, but (with my tongue) I will only say that which is pleasing to Allah. And we are indeed sad at your departure, O Ibraheem.

But it is important to be patient and to remember that we were all brought here temporarily. No one is going to live forever. It’s not how long that we lives that matters. It’s the quality of our lives and whether or not we will be granted jannah that ultimately are important

In a hadith qudsi, Allah (mighty and sublime be He) said:

My faithful servant's reward from Me, if I have taken to Me his best friend from amongst the inhabitants of the world and he has then borne it patiently for My sake, shall be nothing less than Paradise. It was related by al-Bukhari.

The Qur'an also says:

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, (155)Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return." (156) Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.

As for your questions, there are a few differences of opinions on some of them....so I think I'll stick to the one that says "What can you do for her?"

The prophet summed up to us the things that we can do for the deceased in one really important hadith. He said:

“When a person dies, all his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, or beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who will pray for him.”

Alhamdillah, like you are already doing for her, the fundamental thing is to be making dua for her. I thought I would give you some duas that you can also say (although my book says during the Funeral Prayer, but I haven't heard that it is only restrictive the funeral prayer) with their Arabic transliteration:

• O Allah, surely [name the person] is under Your protection, and in the rope of Your security, so save him from the trial of the grave and from the punishment of the Fire. You fulfill promises and grant rights, so forgive him and have mercy on him. Surely You are Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Reference: Ibn Majah, Abu Dawud 3/211. See also Al Albani, Sahih Ibn Majah 1/251.

Allaahumma 'inna [name the person] fee thimmatika, wa habli jiwaarika, faqihi min fitnatil-qabri wa 'athaabin-naari, wa 'Anta 'ahlul-wafaa'i walhaqqi. Faghfir lahu warhaw.hu 'innaka 'Antal-Ghafoorur-Raheem.

• O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him and give him strength and pardon him. Be generous to him and cause his entrance to be wide and wash him with water and snow and hail. Cleanse him of his transgressions as white cloth is cleansed of stains.

• O Allah, Your male slave/female slave and the child of Your female slave is in need of Your mercy , and You are not in need of his torment . If he/she was pious then increase his/her rewards and if he/she was a transgressor then pardon him/her.

Allaahumma 'abduka wabnu 'amatika ihtaaja 'ilaa rahmatika, wa 'Anta ghaniyyun 'an 'athaabihi, 'in kaana muhsinan fazid fee hasanaatihi, wa 'in kaana musee'an fatajaawaz 'anhu.

What else can you do for her?
Charity....!

Ibn 'Abbas rahimahullaah reported that Sa'd bin 'Ubadah's mother died during his absence on a trip. He came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and asked him, "O Allaah's Messenger! My mother has passed away during my absence. Would it be of benefit to her if I give sadaqah on her behalf?" He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied, "Yes!" He said, "Be my witness then that I give my fruitful garden as sadaqah on her behalf."

The door to charity is wide open. There are lots of things you can do for her, inshaAllah. You can give money to an orphanage, hospital, charity organization in her name. You can feed the poor, donate clothes, even help an engaged couple get married, etc. You can talk to your family about doing a big project for your grandmother, such as 'building a mosque' or well.

You can buy some Quran's and pass them out to people. InshaAllah each time someone reads even just a harf or letter in the Quran, your grandmother will be rewarded. You can also give out beneficial tapes and leave them in mosques. You can also talk to your family about someone doing Umrah for her, inshaAllah.

Of course you should also make sure that your grandmother has no debts that need to be cleared (and that includes even "Hajj"). If she does, you need to start with those immediately, inshaAllah.

I would also like to request all the sisters here to make dua for our sister's grandmother and for all the deceased. Please take a moment or two to remember the people who have gone ahead of us and to pray that Allah grants them His Mercy and that we are reunited under His Throne.

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The End of the World.

I'm scared about the end of the world,I once heard that it is better for one not to be alive during the time and with te predictions and signs showing it is very close I'm really worried and afraid.I'm still in Secondary school,I'd probably still be in University when it happens.All those dreams of mine half fulfilled or not fulfilled at all.

Dear Scared of the End of the World,


I know a lot of people have been talking about the end of the world lately and it really can be terrifying thinking of what's to come...especially, if....we haven't already started preparing for it or taking ourselves to account.

But the thing is, as Muslims, we know that this was never our home in the the first place. We're just passer byers here.

And that's why our primary goal should be pleasing Allah subhanoo wa' Tala.

That should be the goal that we dedicate our lives to....not 'getting a job'/'finishing university'/getting married. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have those as 'goals', but I'm saying that the goal we should be worried about unfulfilling/fulfilling should be primarily that one. I mean, think of it this way. What if you lived 100 years here...no, wait, make it 500 hundred years here..did everything you wanted to do but ended up not making it to paradise.


On the other hand, let's say a person lives here for only 28 years. But they end up going to paradise where eternal bliss lies. Who do you think would be in a better position?

You see, darling, whatever you want to do in paradise, you will get to do it....

And that's why, when we start to think of the end of the world as the end of our lives, then we've got a small problem. It's not actually the end of our lives. It's the end of life as we know it here, but the beginning of the real life. Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala says in the Quran:

And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew. (Surat Al Ankabut 64)

 Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children - like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion. (20) Race toward forgiveness from your Lord and a Garden whose width is like the width of the heavens and earth, prepared for those who believed in Allah and His messengers. That is the bounty of Allah which He gives to whom He wills, and Allah is the possessor of great bounty. (21) (Surat Al Hadid)

Image from: here

And even, though, most of us claim that we know this…that this dunya is not our final abode, we lose sight of that fact, and find ourselves falling in love with the world here. We love it so much, that we don't want to leave!

You know, I'm reminded of this great analogy I heard once by a daee'. When we start clinging to this world, we're just like a little baby who gets too comfortable inside his/her mummy's tummy. He/she has no idea that outside of his/her mummy’s tummy is a whole world out there, waiting for him/her to explore. And so, this baby, a little scared, and unsure of where he/she is going, comes out crying from the mother's womb, right.

Can you imagine crying because you're leaving such a tiny, cramped place?

Come on! This world is a LOT cooler than our mom's tummies (isn't it? :P Sorry, mums :P)/.

But seriously, we sometimes get a little too comfortable here on this earth. We forget that there’s something better for us waiting for us. Something much bigger and much more wonderful..May Allah make us among the dwellers of the highest firdaus :) Ameen.

That said, I do want to say that you are correct about the end of times being very 'difficult' and they will be filled with much fitan or trials. People will wake up in the morning as believers and go to sleep at night as disbelievers. The scholars and knowledge will go away...etc. There will also be the 'greatest' fitna or trial for this Ummah which is the the Dajjal. We seek refuge in Allah from him. Ameen.

Huzaifah bin Al-Yaman said, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, " Islam will become worn out like clothes are, until there will be no-one who knows what fasting, prayer, charity and rituals are. The Qur’an will disappear in one night, and no Ayah (verse) will be left on Earth. Some groups of old people will be left who will say, "We heard our fathers saying La ilaha illa Allah, so we repeat it." Silah asked Huzaifah, "What will saying La ilaha illa Allah do for them when they do not know what prayer, fasting, ritual and charity are?" Huzaifah ignored him; then Silah repeated his question three times, and each time Huzaifah ignored him. Finally he answered,' O Silah, it will save them from Hell ' and said it three times." (Ibn Majah)

But, let me tell you something that will be, inshaAllah, a little more comforting.

Abdal Rahman ibn Shamasa al-Mahri said: 'I was in the company of Maslama bin Mukhallad and Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-Aas (may Allah be pleased with them).' Abdullah said, 'The Hour shall come only when the worst type of people are left on the earth. They will be worse than the people of pre-Islamic days. They will get what ever they ask of Allah.' While we were sitting Uqba ibn Amir came, and Maslama said to him, 'Uqba, listen to what Abdullah says.' Uqba said, 'He knows, so far as I am concerned, I heard the Prophet (Peace be upon him) say: 

"A group of people from my nation will continue to fight in obedience to the Command of Allah, remaining victorious over their enemies. Those who oppose them shall not do them any harm. They will remain in this condition until the Hour overtakes them. Abdullah bin Amr ibn 'As said: Yes. Then, Allah will send a wind, which will be fragrant like musk and whose touch will be like the touch of silk, that will cause the death of all (faithful) persons, not leaving behind a single person with an iota of faith in his heart. Then only the worst of men will remain to be overwhelmed by the Hour (of Resurrection)." (Sahih Muslim)

SubhanAllah. How gentle our Lord is. Subhan al Lateef. To take the souls by a soft gentle wind/ or breeze (as described/translated) in other hadiths.

Let me tell you something else that Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala said:

I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him. [It was related by al-Bukhari.]

In another, long authentic hadith, the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhaee wa salam said:

"When the believer is about to depart from this world and go forward
into the Next World, angels with faces as bright as the sun descend
from the heavens and sit around him in throngs stretching as far as
the eye can see. Then the Angel of Death comes and sits at his head
and says, "Good soul, come out to forgiveness and pleasure from
Allah!" Then his soul emerges like a drop of water flows from a
water-skin and the angel takes hold of it. When he has grasped it,
the other angels do not leave it in his hand even for the twinkling
of an eye. They take it and place it in a perfumed shroud and
fragrance issues from it like the sweetest scent of musk found on the
face of the earth.'
"Then they bear it upwards and whenever they take it past a company
of angels, they ask, 'Who is this good soul?' and the angels with the
soul reply, 'So-and-so the son of so-and-so,' using the best names by
which people used to call him in this world. They bring him to the
lowest heaven and ask for the gate to be opened for him. It is
opened for him and angels who are near Allah from each of the heavens
accompany him to the subsequent heaven until he reaches to the heaven
where Allah the Great is. Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, says,
'Register the book of My slave in 'Illiyun and take him back to
earth. I created them from it and I return them to it and I will
bring them forth from it again.'
"His soul is then returned to his body and two angels come to him.
They make him sit up and say to him, 'Who is your Lord?' He replies,
'My Lord is Allah.' They ask him, 'What is your religion?' He
replies, 'My religion is Islam.' They ask him, 'Who is this man who
was sent among you?' He replies, 'The Messenger of Allah.' They ask
him, 'How did you come to know these things?.' He replies, 'I read
the Book of Allah, believed it, and declared it to be true.' Then a
Voice from on high declares, 'My slave has spoken the truth, so
spread out carpets from the Garden for him and open a gate of the
Garden for him!' Taken from: http://abdurrahman.org/finaljourney/deathresurrectionuthaimeen.pdf

I hope this comforts you a little. And sis, remember, it's okay to be 'scared' of Judgment day coming-- it's only natural. We actually should be scared- we should feel a fear that motivates us to be better Muslimahs. We should always always want to be better....to reach for jannatul firdaus and to meet Allah with Him pleased with us :)

Indeed, those who have said, "Our Lord is Allah " and then remained on a right course - the angels will descend upon them, [saying], "Do not fear and do not grieve but receive good tidings of Paradise, which you were promised. (30) We [angels] were your allies in worldly life and [are so] in the Hereafter. And you will have therein whatever your souls desire, and you will have therein whatever you request [or wish] (31) As accommodation from a [Lord who is] Forgiving and Merciful." (32)

Lots of love,

Little Auntie

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