That Time of the Month and Ramadan...

>> Sunday, August 22, 2010

Apu (sister) u knw...wht exactly we can do when we go through our period during we cant do prayer,fast,recite Quran....thn wht shud we do?

- Don’t Want to Miss out on Ramadan

Dear Don’t Want to Miss out on Ramadan,

You have asked a really great question! This question actually reminds me of our mother Aisha Radiya Allah Anha, and you’ll see why in a few moments. But first, let me just say that you may have noticed some of the suggestions we offered the last questioner, like dua, dhikr, charity, and listening to lectures. Those are all things that you can try doing, as well. You can also listen to Qur’an and recite the parts that you have memorized.

But the fundamental thing that you can do is truly worship Allah with your heart.

How? And what do we mean by worship Allah by your heart? Well, for one thing, I heard a daee (by the name Amr, but not the famous Amr Khaled, lol) say, the ‘Biggest thing women can do when they have their periods is be content with Allah’s decree’. What does that mean?

It means- don't hate your period or hate not fasting because it is Allah Subhanoo Wa' Tala who decreed that.

When you complain about your period, you’re suggesting that
a) you’re not satisfied with what Allah has ordained.
Narrated Al-Qasim:

'Aisha Radyia Allah Anha said, "We set out with the sole intention of performing Hajj and when we reached Sarif, (a place six miles from Mecca) I got my menses. Allah's Apostle came to me while I was weeping. He said 'What is the matter with you? Have you got your menses?' I replied, 'Yes.' He said, 'This is a thing which Allah has ordained for the daughters of Adam…

b) you think Allah is going to somehow be unfair to you and not give you as much as a reward as you deserve/want to earn…

Of course not! Allah Suhbanoo wa’ Tala isn’t trying to make you lose points. And He is, never not fair! Haven’t we heard of this hadith?

Abdullah Bin 'Amr reported that the Prophet said: "No (believing) person gets sick, but (his deeds) will be recorded for him in accordance with what he used to do when he was well." [Bukharee]

So wait, am I saying that’s what happens when we get our periods? No, I don’t know if that’s what happens, but I do know that the One who placed such a fair and just method of recording our deeds (actually such a merciful one) has surely placed a fair one for us women.

Besides, we DO know that our actions are by our intentions. If in the beginning of the month, you truly intended to pray taraweeh the whole month and finish reading the whole Qur’an, you’re going to get what you intended, inshaAllah!

We also for sure know this hadith:
Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (Radiya Allah Anhoo) reported that the Prophet (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "A Muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. "

[Bukharee and Muslim]
For all you know, enduring a few painful cramps with patience may raise your ranks much more than praying a few rakahs.

Not only that, but when you truly feel at peace with His decision, you will be able to truly be pleased with Him as your Lord. And instead of concentrating on what has prevented you from praying -your period-, you'll be able to concentrate on WHO you pray to and fast to, in the first place. You'll be able to truly draw closer to Him.

The next ‘worship of the heart’ is to keep concentrating on your intentions. Every act you do, let your intention be for The Sublime in your head (and heart!). If you help your mother cook iftar or suhoor, you can let your intention be that you’re trying to help your mother and helping to feed a fasting person! (Remember, if you ‘feed a fasting person, you’ll get the reward as if you fasted!)

If you have a younger sibling, you could even try bringing an extra special box of chocolates. I’m sure it would make them really happy. You see, we ‘belittle’ these kinda deeds but they are in the sight of Allah very great:

The Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "The most loved people to Allah are the most beneficial, the most loved deeds to Allah the Exalted are making a Muslim happy, revealing his sorrow, paying his debt, or revealing his hunger, and that I'd prefer to help my Muslim brother who is in need of something than staying in this mosque for praying (I'tikaf) for a month…”

I personally would suggest you could set yourself a target to do at least 5 good deeds like these a day. And don’t just ‘set them’. Try to complete these 5, lol. We’ve already said that you could help out with the iftar…what about offering to do the dishes afterwards? Cleaning the car? Doing some of your parents' or siiblings' chores? What about helping a friend in need. It could even be making a Thank You card for your Mum!

Another thing you could do is ‘babysit’! You know how many Muslim women out there who don’t go to the mosque because they don’t want their kids to irritate the people praying? How about since you can’t exactly go there, you give them a chance and offer to take care of their kids for them?

It could even be a smile at the grumpy old lady across the street.

Whatever it is, if you're intention for doing these things are only for Allah, then you'll be remembering why you're doing it and having this constant thought in your mind will, inshaAllah, bring you closer to Allah.

Besides ‘the heart worship’, you can also take this time to study Islam! Read the stories of the prophets and then try explaining them to someone else. Find out the stories of the Prophet’s wives. Read the tafsir of the Qur’an. Organize a halaqah with some other sisters and share some of the knowledge you have learned.

Keep yourself busy in productive ways, check out:

Oh and one very simple thing you can do but that will yield you tremendous reward is to make dua that Allah forgives all the Muslims. In this way, you will get good deeds for every single Muslim in the world.

Lastly, please remember that a 'break from fasting’,' isn't a break from also, continue to avoid watching bad shows, etc!

So smile, hon! There's no reason to worry about 'missing out on Ramadan'...


12 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Blue Pearl August 22, 2010 at 4:29 AM  

Salaam alaikum Lil Aunty, how is your Ramadan going? Nice advice.

bintZaynab August 22, 2010 at 4:55 AM  

Nice post mashaAllah. :)

¤•˚Zαìήαβ˚•¤ August 23, 2010 at 11:43 AM  

great tips Mash'Allah Jazakun Allahu Khairan came right in time! :)

oldie goldie August 24, 2010 at 9:58 AM  

mashaAllah sisters, excellent advice again!

Anonymous,  September 2, 2010 at 12:35 PM  

jazakAllah khairn. great advice !

Blue Pearl September 8, 2010 at 12:33 PM  

Salaam alaikum dear darling, just dropped by to say Eid mubarak. Have a wonderful time:)

Ps: keep it up with the great advice

al September 10, 2010 at 12:57 PM  

was salamu alaykum
this is truly good advice, especially since i got my menses through the last few days of ramadan! i was very dissapointed at first, but then i remembered that 3 years ago i prayed so much that Allah make my menses go away for the month of ramadan, that it went away for the month, but also for a couple of months after that and i ended up with cysts in my ovaries!!

this year i decided to be pleased with Allah's decree and i try my best to help out in the kitchen, take on more chores from my husband so he can increase in worship, all the while hoping for the same reward from my Lord as if i was in prayer and fasting...

may Allah grant us all the Tawfeeq to understand His Wisdom in granting us periods and make it easy for us all.

great advice, i wish it had come 3 years back! :)

Little Auntie September 11, 2010 at 4:29 AM  

First of all, blue Pearl, Jazaki Allah huni for stopping by twice to check up on me! You truly are a sweetie, Ma'shallah. Baraka Allah feeki! I hope you had a great Eid =)

jazaki Allah to all of you, sisters!

al- awww, I'm sorry to hear about your cysts that happened 3 years ago. inshaAllah the pain you went through helped elevate your ranks. I also used to 'moan/groan' about getting my menses during the last 10 days- that's why when I heard the da'ee, it really changed my outlook. I'm glad that this Ramadan you were able to continue to do 'worship' by helping your husband and keeping the intention. InshaAllah you will be rewarded as if you did fast and all =)

Anonymous,  August 3, 2012 at 2:21 AM  

Jazakillah, thank you! =D


NM July 13, 2013 at 11:52 AM  

Subhanallah, blessings on both of you lovely sisters who made this amazing blog post Mashallah...teared up when I realised how silly I was being and that it's all Allah's decree and I should be happy with it...Jazakallah, thank you so much, may Allah guide you both on the straight way inshallah :)

KeepSmilingSisters July 30, 2013 at 8:24 PM  

Mashallah this was very informing and interesting. Thank you very much sister x

KeepSmilingSisters July 30, 2013 at 8:27 PM  

Subhanallah. This is very informing and interesting. Thank you very much for writing this article.

May Allah bless all the Muslim umma.

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

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