Grey's Anatomy Addict

>> Sunday, August 8, 2010





I know this might be a silly question but I need to ask it.

For the past year I've been getting more religious, I never miss my prayers, I fast on monday and thursdays, i wear hijab and abbaya, I recite the Quran everyday...but there's one problem. My sister who Mash'Alllah is more religious to me has told me it's not good to watch certain TV shows. Before I became religious I watched the show Grey's Anatomy-- have you heard of it? I love the show :( I stop watching in the middle of the past season, but I think I want to watch season 7...is certain TV shows or ALL TV shows, Haram????? Please help! I don't want to be committing any sins my watching TV.


Sincerely,
Grey's Addict



Dear Grey’s Addict,

MashaAllah! It’s great that you make sure to pray all your prayers, fast extra days, try to dress modestly, and make sure to read Quran everyday! May Allah keep you steadfast :D (and all of us, Ameen!)

But now, our little friend, let’s look at your question... It’s definitely not a silly question.

And you kinda already know the answer.

You know what Big Sis was telling you…you know what that that little voice [inside of you] was telling you….

Yeah, I’m going to tell you the very same thing. While some scholars are under the opinion that images are not acceptable and therefore, television not halal, a majority of scholars tend to say  that it’s not that you can’t watch TV, but what you watch on TV. There are a lot of good shows you can watch- Islamic shows, National Geographic kind of shows, educational shows, documentaries, etc which are perfectly fine to watch. Grey’s Anatomy doesn’t cut it though.

Let me ask you a few questions…. Would you watch this television show with Daddyo sitting down with you? Maybe he’s a relaxed sort of guy and you would, but would you watch this show with the imam of the mosque next to you? Or how about with Prophet Mohammed (sala Allahoo alayhee wa salam) sitting on the couch beside you?

I’m going to tell you the truth. I’ve heard of Grey’s Anatomy but I’ve never watched it. And I couldn’t exactly tell you whether you could/ couldn’t watch something without doing some good research. So I went to my main man…Mr. Google.

And I came upon this lovely site: Wait, don’t click…. I already copied the important stuff. (LOL!)

Messages:
Characters hook up for sexual affairs, cheat on partners, and so on. Some patients' issues delve into sticky topics like drugs and sexism. Diversity among the cast.

Sex:
The show is very focused on the characters' relationships, most of which are sexual in nature. There's plenty of bed-hopping. Some same-sex pairings. While the characters kiss, embrace, and have implied sex, no sensitive body parts are shown.

Don’t worry, girlie, I know you’re not watching it to see those kinda scenes. And I know the show’s storylines are very addictive….seeing the characters every week, it’s easy to feel like you’re part of the family and you want to know what’s going to happen.

That’s why it’s time I tell you the poo poo story.
Also known as the poop story.

No, this is not a bedtime story told to me by grandma.


This is a story that I read once on a website- only the website doesn’t open anymore and I kinda added my own little touch. It’s the story of three tweens who wanted their dad’s permission to watch the latest movie at the cinema. They kept begging their dad to let them go but he just wouldn’t agree. They told him that all of their friends had gone. Sure, it was PG, they admitted, but they weren’t kids and they couldn’t keep watching G movies all their lives. Anyway, they reasoned, there was only subtle sexual hints (no actual scene), a few tinsy winsy vulgur words (but nothing “really bad”), and only one woman didn’t dress that well (but it was a beach scene and it only lasted for like three minutes literally)

Papa said nothing and just calmly walked into the kitchen. The kids didn’t want to say anything. They thought he was going to think about it and thinking that was better than a flat out rejection, they left him alone.

A little later (to be read with a funny accent), Papa knocked on the door with fudge brownies. It smelled like no fudge brownies have ever smelled before. Fudgy and chocolaty and just plain perfect….Ahmed was about to grab a piece and wolf it down when Papa said “I added a little something….a little dog poop.”

That’s when Ahmed dropped the piece. He looked at his dad and Papa explained “When I was making the brownies, I made sure to check the production date of the package, to use the best eggs, and to use our most expensive oil… When I was about to finish, I added a bit of dog poop. Just a tiny tiny tiny amount.”


I think it’s pretty obvious now what we’re talking about here, right? A little bad thing can make something good rotten…

And here we come to the gist of the matter-

If you as a Muslim cannot do the things that you’re watching on t.v, even if it seems ‘like it’s something small’, then, watching shows that have people doing them is also wrong.

The Islamic proof for that? The very famous hadith where the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alayhee wa salam) ordered us to change anything bad we see:


On the authority of Abu Sa`id (Radiya Allah Anhoo) that the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said, “Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” (Muslim)

Ask yourself a question (I think I asked you enough questions, already, so it’s your turn, hehe)- when you watch a show like “Grey’s Anatomy”, are you really changing it?

What about this verse:


“Verily, the hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those you will be questioned (by Allaah).” [al-Israa’ 17:36]
Do you, sweetheart, remember what happened in the 3rd episode of the 5th season? Can you tell me every single thing that was said/done, if you watched that episode?
Can you remember all that? Now, I chose a random number which maybe you do actually remember, lol, but the point is, do you remember every single episode you watched?

Because as this verse explains, you are going to be held accountable for all that you watched and heard…all!

Do you really want to stand in front of Allah and have Him ask you why you were watching a woman/man ‘pursue adultery’, something that Islamically would deserve a very strict punishment and that upsets Allah?

The other thing you should keep in mind is that:

“….The eye commits zinaa [fornication] and its zinaa is looking. The tongue commits zinaa and its zinaa is speaking; the feet commit zinaa and their zinaa is walking; the hands commit zinaa and their zinaa is touching. The heart longs and desires for something and the private parts confirm that or deny it.” [Saheeh Bukhari 6343]
You see how serious that is?!

Finally, one last verse: Say: the things that my Lord hath indeed forbidden are: shameful deeds, whether open or secret…(7:33)

Aren’t many of the things on the show ‘shameful’?

So is that? Are we going to leave you with that? Of course not! Here are few tips though to make sure you don’t end up succumbing to temptation and watching Grey’s Anatomy again ...


  • Since your wonderful big sister told you that you shouldn’t watch it, tell her that you are officially quitting again and recruit her as your ‘No Watching Grey’s Anatomy Officer’.



  • Schedule an activity at the time that it’s aired. I know that it probably comes on late at night, so you most likely cannot ‘go out’, but be sure to be away from the television. (For our other readers who haven’t tried ‘quitting watching it or some other show before’, you can do the same thing. )



  • If you have a t.v. in your own private room, it’s moving day for it :P You want to watch TV in front of everyone so that you don’t get tempted to watch anything a little inappropriate.)



  • Try watching more Islamic shows if possible- you can even substitute the time you used to watch it with an Islamic show. If you don’t have Islamic t.v. channels, check out: http://www.islamchannel.tv/ Or http://www.huda.tv/ .




  • Try ‘closing your eyes’ for 15 minutes or turning off all the lights in the house and sitting in total darkness for a little bit. Now think about the blessing of eye sight. Ask yourself, does it really show true gratitude to Allah to ‘watch’ a show that contains things he has prohibited? Does that show that you are thankful for your eyes?


  • Paste a small little paper next to where the t.v. is or on top of it that says something like: “Allah is with Me. Allah sees all that I do.”



  • If you are a fan on facebook or something like that, become an ‘unfan’. If you and your best friend used to watch it and talk about it together, let her know that you’ve quit and that you really don’t want her to tell you updates or anything that will ‘hook’ you again. (While you’re at it, try and explain why you quit so she does, too.)



  • Since you already ‘fast’ Monday and Thursday, this one is for our other readers who haven’t quit before…try fasting more (hey, Ramadan is coming anyways!). Fasting teaches you discipline and most of us have it engrained in us that when we’re fasting, we don’t ‘watch’ anything ‘bad’


  • Make sincere dua to Allah to help you. Remember this:


    • "Some faces that Day (the Day of Judgment) shall beam (in brightness and beauty). Looking at their Lord (Allah - SWT)"(Al-Qiyamah - 22-23).

      “When the inhabitants of Jannah enter Jannah, Allah will ask them all, ‘Is there anything more that I can give you?’ They will say, ‘Have you not illuminated our faces? Have you not entered us into Jannah? Have you not saved us from Hellfire?’

      “Then Allah will uncover the veil (and all shall see Allah). After that moment there would be nothing more beloved to them than seeing their Lord" (Bukhari and Muslim).

      Yes, on the Day of Judgment and in Jannah, inshaAllah, the believers will see Allah!!

      The way I see it is this: The eyes that long to see Allah, should not fall on anything that would displease Him. The ears that want to hear Him say “Salaam” should not listen to anything that would anger Him.

      InshaAllah, inshaAllah, if you do all that, it'll be easier to overcome your addiction and you will be among those who see Allah!

      Oh, and remember, The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told his close companion: “By Allah! Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better than it!”

      When you give it up....you're going to get something really great, inshaAllah. Yallah, you can do this. We believe in you!

      16 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

      Saba August 8, 2010 at 8:01 AM  

      That post was spot on for me. When I married my husband we decided not to have a t.v., but now you can watch EVERYTHING on the internet.

      For a little while, I completely gave up all the shows I loved. Now, however, I have returned and I feel bad EVERY time I watch it but it's like an addiction.

      Alhamdulillah, your post and the fact that Ramadan is approaching, should help me quit Insha'Allah!

      Yesterday, I was also reading an article on haya' (shame) and it made a great point. Even by watching things that show lewdness, your sensitivity to what Allah (swt) hates may decrease...basically you lose the feeling of haya' which we should always have.

      Random19 August 8, 2010 at 11:27 AM  

      Sighh, i am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH IN LOVE WITH THIS BLOG!! i check it everyday!! mashallah!! the best eva!! :D
      you sisters are like super sisters, even the tips are so awesome cuz i myself am guilty of being a 'vampire dairies' addict! love all your team!! :D

      Dreamer August 8, 2010 at 12:59 PM  

      Subhan'Allah! Thanks for the lovely advice. Although I have stayed away from watching American TV shows, I am crazy about watching movies. Alhamdulillah, I haven't been watching that many because I've been busy, but my mom is addicted to Indian drama serials and then I start watching it with her too!

      Keep up the great work and May Allah bless you three sisters! :D

      Dreamer/American Muslim Girl

      Anonymous,  August 8, 2010 at 3:09 PM  

      assalamu alaykum woww this is like spot on. a friend of mine introduced me to this tv show some weeks ago, me who never watched one episode of greys. and i got addicted to it. may Allah forgive us for watching tv shows like that. May Allah help us never watch these shows again. cause seriously sometimes the scenes were so just oh, i would turn my eyes from the screen and feel so ashamed. and it getsyou so addicted you can spend the entire day just watching it. and you become tempted to be a fan on facebook, or visit the forums read about it soubhanallah may Allah guide us!

      BubbliMuslima August 8, 2010 at 6:06 PM  

      mashAllah sis, this is such a great post.
      i used to watch "The O.C" and tried quitting 3 times before i actually stopped completely. the first two times were for saving time, and eyes hurting, but alhamduLilah when i did it for Allah swt it worked! Allah swt does help you if you try!
      also i wanted to point out that we should lower our gaze and its hard to do that while watching a t.v show.
      so jzk Allah for this great post, the whole post is great and the tips are also awsome.
      may Allah swt reward you sisters <3

      bubbli

      athoofa August 9, 2010 at 12:10 AM  

      I just LOVED this mashaAllah!!

      I'll need to share this link with a bunch of my friends... They say they watch it for the "medical part" cuz of them being being medical students hehe

      Jazakillah for this, keep up your work girlies

      Little Auntie August 9, 2010 at 6:47 AM  

      Saba, Ma’shaAllah on you and your husband making that decision! But I know now with the internet how difficult it is. I’m really glad you brought up the point of haya’. It’s really true. As we watch more and more things, we do get desensitized- oh, so what, that the woman’s dress is a little above her knees....until we reach even to -so what the two are homosexual, etc.

      Awww, Shireen, that’s so sweet of you. I love the team we have here, too, and that includes YOU sisters who come here and support your fellow sisters. All of you commentators are really great-you are and will always be as part of the team as the writers here :D

      Dreamer! I soooooo know what you mean. I’ve got family addicted to Egyptian serials and it’s very hard ‘staying away’ from them, not ‘getting caught up’, as we enter in and out of the room. May Allah make it easier for all of us.

      Anonymous, Oh, sis, May Allah make things easier for you! I know how hard it must be. It’s just as if ‘you took one cigarette’ and got addicted. It’s going to take a lot of will power, but I know you can do it. Remember, you have all of us rooting for you.

      Ma’shaAllah, Bubbli!! SubhanAllah at how it worked when you did it for Allah’s sake. You also brought up a really important point- lowering the gaze. Remember we actually have a ‘team against us’ who have ‘chosen the most handsome/attractive people’ and exploit their physical appearance to get viewers to watch the show….

      Athoofa, ooo, you have another aspect to deal with, since you guys are studying to be doctors. The problem with us is that we try to justify our ‘wrong behavior’ with excuses like that. I guess you can tell them, ‘how about we really study and we quiz each other random questions’ from our textbooks instead of watching the show?

      Farah,  August 9, 2010 at 9:19 AM  

      This post really made me think and I can tell you that - outside of Ramadan - I had little motivation to stop watching some of the shows I was watching. I think now, though, I'll not only stop in Ramadan, but for good. And thanks for the thing about haya Saba, that's so true. As an alternative, there's a show called Little Mosque on the Prairie which I like.

      blue stocking August 10, 2010 at 8:39 AM  

      i was plain speechless after reading this post! JazakAllah Khair :)

      Mama Salma August 11, 2010 at 12:42 AM  

      i LUV the POOP STORY! :D can definitely be used to explain a lot of different situations to kiddies. JAZAKUM ALLAH KHAIR. :)

      ishqia August 14, 2010 at 11:29 AM  

      i think most of have this problem of addiction to TV shows or movies.

      What do you think about animation movies or cartoon movies?

      Alhamdulillah ramadan helps with the quitting though..

      Tania August 15, 2010 at 1:36 AM  

      "The eyes that long to see Allah, should not fall on anything that would displease Him. The ears that want to hear Him say “Salaam” should not listen to anything that would anger Him. "
      well said apu...MashaAllah.....Love:-*

      Anonymous,  October 5, 2010 at 3:08 PM  

      My first reaction..."Ewwwww. That's Gross!!"
      But, MashaAllah, I love the analogy you put out. Jazakillahu Khayrun, That puts a lot of things in place..

      Anonymous,  September 14, 2011 at 5:41 AM  

      Wow. I wanna quit this show ANTM and inshaAllah inshaALLAH i will not watch it now! This post is awesome, Alhamdulillah.

      Melissa January 17, 2012 at 3:42 PM  

      I really needed to read this. I recently gave up watching most tv and it's really been hard at first but when you really think about it, what was given up is really not good at all to be watching and listening to and is bad and wrong...

      Batool February 27, 2012 at 1:43 PM  

      Jazakallah sisters i really needed this . I have to admit some shows truly are like an addiction and its way too easy to lose sight of the bigger picture . I mean what is jannah compared to a tv programme ?!?

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      Asalamu aialkum!
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