I didn't treat them right

>> Friday, September 2, 2011

Salaam dear beautiful aunties,

I dont want to praise you too much as Our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) suggested not to do so.
But May Allah (swt) make this blog a sadaqa zaria for you all and no matter what keep going, marching forth, inshaAllah this blog will be a slide for you to reach your Lord the most high.

ok let me begain telling you my problems here:

I was deep in the darkest portion of this world and was the worst human being ever and then my Lord the Most Kind , guided me, to Al-Islam, Alhumdulliahi Rabil Alamin. Alhumdulliah then i beagin pratising Islam, but as i was supposed to apolozise to people arround me for hurting their fellings, but i didnt.
Then got married to a very nice human being also a revert to islam. I was also studying in a islamic school but then i withdrew (my intention was to study at home, which i didn't).

Then we lived with my in laws, at time most of the time my in laws relatives and friends used to ask me to go out with them to place like hospital, immigration ect as they had language barrier, and i used to go. but then as time passed by i got fed up as i wasn't getting time for my ibadah, as rest of the time was spent in doing housework and so thus i started refusing to go. as for my mother as used to say that she will go without even asking me. As it is common, she didn't appriciate a single bit the housework that i did. Then she started asking me to apply for a seprate house behind the back of my husband, so we did move to a new house.
When we moved to the new house my mother in law had to do all the housework, and she was expecting that after cleaning for my own house then i should travel 1 hour to do the housework for her, but i didnt. as i felt she is busy earning and she wants me to clean her mess.

But now I feeling gulty, I must have been more patient and must have gone out with these people, i must have used these moments for Dawah. Also after i got married, i choose to stay at home, Alhumdulliah i cover up my self and wear the niqaab too. But i feel i have wasted my Life.
i want to repent

wa'alykum as salam, Wanting to Repent!

You are very right in the fact that prophet Mohammed sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told us not to praise each other. Jazakillah khair. Honestly, the dua means so MUCH more, :) Amene, ameen, ameen :)

Alhamdillah Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala guided you to His wonderful deen

You know sis, I made a mistake like yours, too. I used to think ibahada was about reading Qur'an and praying a lot and that's it...but the meaning of ibaha is so much more comprehensive. WE could be cleaning the house and have the intention that it is to help an older Muslim woman or to make a fellow Muslim woman happy and we could be rewarded soooo much more.

The prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam did say: "That I walk with my Muslim brother in his need is dearer to me than being in i'itkaf in my masjid for a month".

Sallah Allhahoo alyhee wa salam.

(I know though that your in-laws aren't Muslim, though, but the idea is that still, your cleaning the house could have been considered worship if you had made your intention to invite her to Islam through your behavior.)

Anyways, the truth is that our manners and the way we treat our fellow human beings is almost (if not equally) important to our prayers, reading Qur'an, etc.

In fact, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) summarized his whole mission (and obviously since he was the final messenger, the mission of the thousands of messengers before him) in one single line: inama bathtoo li atimoo makarim al akhlaq (English translation below).

“Verily, I was sent for no other reason, except to perfect the noble traits of character”. It can be found in Imam Malik’s Al Mutawwa.
I also have read this hadith  but not sure of the narrator:

"The believer reaches by good character the degree of the person who constantly fasts and stands in prayers."

Good manners...good character...that's part of what being religious is all about. We get rewarded for these things if we have the right intention!

So...what to do now?

Just make it up to her, now :) Why don't you call your mother in law and apologize? Why don't you send her a letter with words of regret and sorry and tell her how much you wish you could help her? It's really not too late.

Why don't you talk to your husband about inviting his parents over once a week, as well? And his other relatives and family? You can start over. Your life is NOT over, hun! You could even do something 'big for her'....save up some money and talk to your husband about giving her a vacation somewhere?

Think of something she really needs....and do it for her/ get it for her :)
And ask Allah to forgive you :D

You can also start being a beacon of dawah right now :) Why don't you pass out some leaflets? The important thing though is that you've learned that it is through your patience and manners that non-Muslims would be affected- more so than your words. Use this lesson now...:)

Also, you can do dawah even with Muslimahs! If you attend the Friday prayer, you can smile at your fellow sisters....pass out good books/ tapes you have...Bring cookies /lollipops and pass it out to the kids at the end of the khutbah ..or whatever :)

Just do not isolate yourself and think that is better for your 'worship'.

Remember this:

According to a hadeeth narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1307 and Ibn Maajah (4032) from Ibn ‘Umar, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer who mixes with people and bears any annoyance they cause with patience, is better than the believer who does not mix with people and does not bear any annoyance they cause with patience.” (This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 6651).

May Allah make things easier for you, sweetie :) Remember, it's not the end of your life. You can do GREAT things :) You can make this right.

4 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Asma Khan September 2, 2011 at 4:32 AM  

I agree with you, indeed helping needy is also kind of ibada and we will have reward for this... :)
Visit my blog--> Stay Blessed

UmmRania September 2, 2011 at 7:43 AM  

Assalamu Alaikum

I agree with your points mashaAllah, however I do want to add that you should treat them with the utmost respect, however they do not have rights over you considering the housework. I agree that you should help them because its just nice, however be careful that you dont burn yourself out either, that wouldnt be good for anyone. Maybe like you can go once a week to help them? I would think that is acceptable. may Allah guide you and give you ease and patience

Little Auntie September 2, 2011 at 7:55 AM  

UmmRania!! How sweet of you to stop by here...:) You're right that she doesn't have to do housework for them :D

Asma, Jazakillah for stopping by. I've been meaning to visit your blog..inshaAllah will do soon :)

Anonymous,  September 3, 2011 at 12:35 AM  


Don't forget to make sincere doa to Allah swt to soften heir hearts. Isn't Allah swt the Controller of the hearts of the people. Many people want to do dakwah but they have forgotten the second part of it, which is to stand in the middle of the night and to make sincere supplication for the people we cared about. Remember it not what we say or do that make people incline towards this beautiful deen, but which act that Allah put blessings in.

Allah knows best.


Bint Isaac

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Asalamu aialkum!
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