>> Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Assalamualaikum dear little auntie,such a good blog you got there,your blog really inspired me.i have one question.
Sometimes,i dont know why is it so hard to me to be grateful with i have,it seems like it never enough.i know,I just need to learn how to be grateful of what I have.I should I should I should! but sometimes i cant,it always happen to me.sometimes,i wish i was pretty like other girls,why they have to be so pretty but im not.why they get better life than me but im not.thank you
I know what you mean. It’s hard being a girl these days. And it can be really hard to feel beautiful. After all, we’re constantly being showered with images of beautiful women and asked to compare ourselves to them. But you know what? You know all of those models on the runway, actresses on television, characters in books, photographs in magazines…those don’t reflect reality. How many women do you know look like that?
GORGEOUS, yes, that's YOU, you need to know something.
Real women have moles, stretch marks, pimples, and dark circles underneath their eyes. Real women have split ends, dandruff, dry skin, etc. Real women have crow’s feet (wrinkles next to their eyes)..wrinkles next to their mouth
Those are real women.
Unfortunately, we live in an airbrushed world, though, where all of this is hidden. And because we don’t see them on TV or other mass media, we start to think that we’re not beautiful, let alone normal. It doesn’t help that there are a number of industries that make their money out of making us feel ungrateful for what we have (eg. The cosmetics industry, plastic surgery industry, etc)
To make matters worse, not only are we taught to look out for “flaws”, but the media often tries to portray one standard of beauty.
But the truth is that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. It really is. I want you to take a look at these pictures.
Which one is the most beautiful to you? Okay, now I want you to ask your sister…your brother…your mother…how about a neighbor? No, I’m not suddenly doing some market research, but I am trying to answer your question. And what I’m trying to reach at is that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Did everyone you ask pick the same one? What if you asked 100 people? Do you think they’d all choose the same one?
What one person may consider beautiful, another person may not. Personally, when my niece washes her hair and her cute little curls show, I think she looks absolutely eatable. Her grandmother (from her other side), though, winces and runs to get a brush (and lots of cream). See what I mean? We all see beauty in our own way.
Alhamdulla, there are a number of things you can do, though, so that you start to feel better about yourself.
- Remind yourself that Allah, your Lord, fashioned you. The Creator of the heavens and the earth is the One who designed you. Just because you are His Creation, you are already beautiful. I mean sometimes I walk into brand shops and when I look around, I laugh when I think about people actually buying the stuff there (especially for the prices there). But you know what? People do buy it. And they’re proud of it. Because it’s a brand and it was made by Prada, or Chanel, or Dior, for instance. How about you? You were designed by God, Himself? You are, literally, a priceless masterpiece.
And think about this…if someone designed something just for you, a sweater (for instance), wouldn’t you appreciate it? Allah made you the person that you are out of7 billion people. Talk about special! Shouldn't you appreciate that?
2. If you really want to feel grateful, go to a burn unit in a hospital or just look at some pictures online. There are pictures of severe acne and tumors as well that you should probably look at. Or how about pictures of different children born with severe deformities?Darling, if you can’t stomach it, then you have a lot to be grateful for. There are hundreds of thousands of people who wish they could look like you and may never be able to.
“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed My punishment is severe.'”
That also applies to the conversations you have with your friends. Are you guys always talking about looks?
5. Smile! And be nice and accepting of others. The more that you accept others regardless of their color, size, and shape, the more that you change your perspective of beauty. And, that perspective should apply to you, as well…
6. Try not to compare yourself with your friends, sisters, neighbors, etc, unless you think it will make you feel better about yourself. Remind yourself that everyone has different abilities and different blessings. Allah has blessed all of us with different things and different degrees.
And remember, there's always a lot more than you can see. That 'pretty girl' that you think has the perfect life... Who told you that she doesn't go home and cry? Who told you that she doesn't throw up to 'fit into that size 0'? Just because someone is beautiful doesn't mean that their life is perfect, at all. You have to realize that you don't know what goes on in their lives at all.
7. Get rid of any old un-photogenic pictures or clothes that make you feel ugly. You don’t want to keep things that make you feel down.
8. If there are some things that you can do that will help you feel better, do it. If you have bad acne, for example, you might want to see a dermatologist. If you have dandruff, you might want to try a different shampoo. But while you are doing these things, you realize that you still have a lot to be grateful for.
Finally, sister, beauty fades. I’m sure you’ve seen pictures of actresses who’ve grown old…or you know someone yourself who has gotten a little older and you were a little startled to think about how different they look. Why worry so much about something that is bound to fade? Instead, appreciate what you have now while you have it and remember that it’s what’s inside that truly counts. It’s your willingness to help those vulnerable, your thoughtfulness, your patience, your spiritual growth, your impact on those around you, etc that matter.