Birthdays and that yada yada

Assalam-o-alaykum Little Aunties =D                                                                                             Even though I was born into a Muslim family, living in an Islamic country, I grew up celebrating birthdays like most of my friends. But now that I am all grown up and more mature and-Alhamdulillah-getting closer to the Deen, I've been trying to give up all the extra practices we have picked up from the Western culture, birthday celebrations being one of them. The problem is people just DO NOT get WHY I have an issue with birthdays. According to them, its 'just a bit of harmless fun' and 'its not like there are any religious connotations' and 'its okay as long as you're just having lunch with friends or family and not throwing extravagant bashes' I have already exhausted the following lines of argument:                              a) The only days of celebration in Islam are the Eids, who are we to take up extra practices b) By following a people you are putting yourself at risk of being raised up with them on the Day of Judgement
 c) It has NO intellectual basis, like what exactly are you celebrating?? =s
(It was one of my friend's birthday today and I told her to give me one good reason to celebrate them and she said there wasn't one but 'it doesn't hurt to have harmless fun' and well I sent her a long text about mindless following of consumerist societies and how being people of reason we should look for reasons for every action of ours etc etc. Needless to say, I didn't receive a reply :D )
 Anyway so I was wondering if you could just give me other reasons I can give people and how I can stop people from wishing me and not wish people without offending them (ESPECIALLY aunties in the family who are already wary of my growing 'extremist' practices -_-) JazakAllah Khayr in advance! And *hugs* for the awesome job you guys do!
 Tired of Mindless Celebrations 

wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo, Tired of Mindless Celebrations, 
You know, sis, that's a tough question.
 I have the same problem, to be honest. 
You already wrote all the possible 'excuses' to give.... 


 But, sometimes, 'reasons' just don't make sense to others. Sometimes, it's easier to just tell them the simple truth, like "I follow the Islamic perspective/view that birthdays should not be celebrated. That doesn't mean that I don't care about you, but that I just can't celebrate with you. Instead, I'd love to celebrate with you any other thing like "memorizing Quran, doing well on a test, getting your driver's license, any thing like that. And besides, we can always have get together without even having a reason- my house is your house!"


 Once you do that, you need to make sure that you are consistent with all of your friends. You can't go to 'one girl's party' and then not go to another's, right. Keep it as a simple 'rule' and make sure they understand that it's definitely not something personal.


And you gotta go the extra mile :P Bring them surprise gifts, make them goodies, shower them with your 'love' :) That's what I did. If I noticed a friend looking at a pretty purse, I would buy it for her as a surprise....(if I had the cash, LOL). Soon my friends understood that I don't have a problem having fun and that I do care about them....but that I couldn't be a part of something that to me was crossing an Islamic boundary. 


 As for your aunties, it sure can be tough to face them...but just tell them that you love them so much and that you really appreciate their trying to make you happy, but what would make you happier is if they celebrate with you things like what's written above: memorizing the Quran, getting that "A" in that hard subject, winning a poetry contest, etc. Tell them that SEEING them and having the family over is cause enough to celebrate and that you don't need to wait all the way for someone's birthday to be the reason."Seriously, make that extra effort to be super nice to them and to offer them help in whatever they need- be it to tutor some cousins or run an errand for them.


 It might also be easier if you tell your mom first so that she can break the news with your family. Tell her to tell them that when your birthday comes, you'd really appreciate it if they didn't mention it...You can let them know that 'warm wishes' are very nice, but you're more in need of their sincere duas :) 


 I'm not going to lie to you, though. Some people will think of it as "oh, so extremist".... but with time, when they see you smiling all the time and trying your best to help them with whatever they need, they will come to accept that this is just your attempt to follow Islam. You can also 'tackle' their fear and say that "You're not trying to be extremist. You're not against having fun but you're just trying to follow the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam. He didn't celebrate birthdays- does that make him an extremist?" 


 Also, I personally put up a note on facebook to tell people that I appreciate those who want to wish me well but that I just don't celebrate birthdays. Alhamdillah, most people understand and remember that.


  I'm sorry for such a short reply, but that's all that I could think of. InshaAlalh the other sisters can offer their advice =)


 With love,