I didn't get in :(

>> Saturday, March 31, 2012

I don’t know where to start. I belong to a middle class family with an average income. However, I’ve always been a high achiever though and all my life, I was dreaming of entering a certain university. I cannot describe to you how much I studied in high school. My entire life revolved around my books. When my friends would go out and have fun, I would be stuck at home, studying, dreaming of the day that I would enter that university. I did everything I could and made so much dua that Allah would let me enter the university. I would wake up in the third of the night and beg Allah to just let me enter and be accepted in the Scholarship program. I just found out though that I was not accepted. I’m really heartbroken and my faith is a little lost right now. It just seems so unfair. My friends who never took a day of school seriously are going to the university and I who prayed and begged Allah to go am not accepted. Why?!

Please help me. I don’t want to lose my faith.

Dear Sister,

First of all, sis, I know you must have been feeling heartbroken when things didn’t turn out the way you expected.

But the truth is that Allah is the Most Merciful and the Most Loving. He loves to hear us call His Name and He gets so happy when we turn to Him an ask us to give us something. And you know what? He actually gets angry if we do not ask Him for things. But what’s even more incredible is that Allah feels embarrassed to return someone who supplicates Him with nothing.

The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said: ‘‘Indeed your Lord is Alive, Most generous. He feels shy that when his servant raises his bands towards Him, calling upon Him, that He should return him empty, having nothing
So, why am I telling you all of this?

Yes, I read your question and I understand you didn’t get what you wanted. And you did ask. And you worked hard. And there wasn’t anything else you could do…

But that’s the thing. It’s not because Allah didn’t want to give it to you. It’s because what you wanted wasn’t good for you.

Ibn Al Qayim expressed this beautifully:
" Verily, when Allah withholds, He actually gives, because He did not withhold on account of miserliness or stinginess, but rather He looked at the benefit of the servant. So the fact that He withheld is actually His choice for the servant and His excellent decision.”

Think about it. Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala is not like us. Do you know what will happen tomorrow? Or what will happen 10 years from now? No, we don’t. But Allah does!

Not only that, we don’t actually know what's actually good for us and the impact of every small thing.

I mean I recently watched a short true story. It was a video about a Somalian woman who lived in a village where all of the water ran out. Basically, she heard there was water down south so she took her three kids, left the village, and began searching for water. On the journey to find water, all three of her children died from dehydration. And only later, she found water.

This woman went out in the hot burning sun and she walked and walked. And she prayed for water. (And can you imagine how sincere her dua was? I mean she wanted water so we can assume it was straight from her heart, especially after the death of her first child.)

But it didn’t come when she wanted it to. It came later.

The story doesn’t end there, though. When she told her story to an Emirati charity, they were so affected by it, that they went to her village and built a number of wells there to make sure no other mother would have to go through what she went through.

So although three lives were lost, an entire village was saved. (And those three are in jannah, inshaAllah.) And who knows how many other lives/ villages saved? I’m sure after other people learned about this charity and heard about this woman’s plight, more and more people donated money and began to think about building wells.

Do you see what I’m saying? These ayahs should make it clearer:

And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. (3)

You see, sister, Allah’s knowledge is unlimited. His Wisdom unsurpassed. He’s far more Merciful, and far more Knowledgable than us. The problem is that a lot of times we’re a lot like a little kid sniffling because we didn’t get the candy bar we wanted; we think we know what’s best for us, but the reality is that we don’t actually know. He does and in everything He ordains or us, there is both mercy and Wisdom in that decree. He's looking out for YOU.

And you know what else? We have to remember that this life is simply a test. That's it: just a test we have to go through. Think about what that means. The people we meet, the situations we're put in, the problems we face- all of that are simply questions on the test. If you asked for something and you worked really hard for it, but you still didn’t get it, that could mean that it wasn’t good for you and that Allah, the Most Wise, didn’t want you to lose sight of the real goal: passing this test.

What if, for example, you had been accepted and you met people who took you away from the deen? What if “ getting in” would have made you distracted from Allah? What if you would have gotten so wrapped up with your uni life, that you would have totally forgotten about Allah?

See, nothing is actually good for us if it makes us forget out true purpose in life or if it makes turn away from Allah. And there is absolutely nothing that is worth you losing out on the HereAfter. And that’s just it- Allah doesn’t want you to exchange the mirage of this world for the HereAfter. He could have given you what you wanted and you might have felt happy. But for how long?

If it meant that you’d lose out on heaven, how happy would you have truly been?

That’s why, sweets, I want you to understand something. A Muslim's du'a is accepted in one of the 3 ways,
a) Either he is given what he asked for,
b) It is delayed to the future
c) He is rewarded in the hereafter.

Your duas though are NEVER EVER wasted. And you will get something better than you wanted inshaAllah.

I know that right now you can't imagine that...but some day, you will. As Yasmin Mogahed says:
“There are pieces of your life, moments, events, decisions, and you saw no significance in them when they happen. You may even despair. Its only when time goes by and you look back and suddenly you can see your whole life like a perfectly designed puzzle. Dont be afraid of the puzzle piece youre in now. It’ll fit perfectly…just like the rest. How could it not? The Designer is perfect.”
I hope dear sister that this helps you a teensy weensy bit and that the other sisters can also help you.

P.S. As for your "friends" who got in and didn't do any work, don't ever think that is actually a reward. Perhaps, it's going to be a major trial for them. You see, the Quran tells us that things that we think are blessings are also trials:
And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, "My Lord has honored me." (15) But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me." (16)
Both are a trial, SubhanAllah.

11 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Um Zakarya March 31, 2012 at 12:40 PM  

Assalamu Alaykum,

MashALLAH such a beautiful answer.Dear auntie, you've done such a greta job on this one, so true mashALLAH!
This has certainly helped the sister.

May Allah SWT reward you for given such beautiful islamic advices to to our young sisters, and to constantly reming them of their focal point which has to be worshipping Allah SWT.

Lot of love

New Wife March 31, 2012 at 11:38 PM  

mashaAllah tabarak Allah, well said sister.

Anonymous,  April 1, 2012 at 4:30 AM  

I hope the sister finds her answer here because I know I did.
May Allah grant her what is best for her and keep her in the strongest of faith.

ShyHijabi,  April 1, 2012 at 9:06 AM  

OMG! Subhanna'Allah!! This post was a-mazing! i was recently in a class just a few days ago, and some students were asking similar questions about 'does Allah answers all dua's because mine hasn't been accepted' and what you've just mentioned above is so helpfull and true! Subhana'Allah its amazing how Allah takes care of us in so many ways and we don't even notice it. I absolutely adore reading every new answer written by each aunty as it gives me something new to think about and always teaches me something new!!
May Allah make things easier for the sister who was having the problem and grant her a beautiful place in Jannah for her patience.
May Allah bless and guide the beautifully talented and wonderful 'Aunties' who take thier time out of thier lives to help us.
I love you all Feesabililah!<333 :D
Lots of luff from a 15teen yr old sister and HUGE FAN in the U.A.E a.k.a Dubai! :)

BeautifulBlogger April 5, 2012 at 9:24 AM  

Beautifully worded and it kinda made me want to cry. SubhanAllah, we always believe we know what is best for us but we forget we hardly can predict the future and that Allah is the best Planner and Designer. I sometimes wondered why some of my wishes don't get accepted (or so I think) but then I realised the beauty of raising my hand and thanking Allah for either way.

Dear sister, I hope you don't lose faith and realise that - "it may well be that you hate a thing the while it is good for you, and it may well be that you love a thing the while it is bad for you: and God knows, whereas you do not know" - Al-Baqara 216.

I would also like to share with you my story which is quite similar. I'm from the UK and I applied to study a degree which I greatly loved and believed I would be good at. I was given an offer from a university I really wanted to go to; however when my results came out in August I missed my conditional offer (grades wise) and I was forced to enter clearing. I was devastated and felt it was the end of the world for me; I cried non stop and felt like a loser for not meeting my offer. I called up several universities and they offered me to study LLB Law; a course far away from which I intended to study. I accepted although I was frightened and truly believed I can't handle such degree. I'm now near the end of my first year and couldn't ask for a better degree to study; I'm so happy I went through clearing, although at the time it was a nightmare, to say the least.

Don't lose faith or hope - work with what life throws at you and always think good of Allah as He is what we think of Him.

Good luck and may Allah open many great doors and opportunities for you. Lots of love xoxo

Anonymous,  April 7, 2012 at 11:01 PM  

These posts/answers usually make me cry. They are so heartfelt and sincere. May Allah (swt)bless the "Aunties" and all the readers! Ameen.:)

The Black Jubah April 16, 2012 at 6:10 PM  

MashaAllah...very well explained and I love Yasmin Mogahed too.
Keep up this good job.

khadijah April 30, 2012 at 2:09 PM  

assalamualaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu!
MASHAA'ALLAH!!!!!! this blog post was absolutely amazing and exactly what I needed! I wanted to mention the exact same thing, that though we think something is good for us, it may not be and vice versa. Allah knows best...but I could only imagine how sad and heartbroken you were sis ! :( I am actually going through something similar, i mean not applying for school or anything BUT, i have been praying and praying since I became Muslimah (a year ago) for something I truly want soo badly, and something that I have been longing for since I became Muslim. I didn't receive anything yet from Allah but I have been just feeling in my heart that I am not going to get what I asked for this year...I actually am having a hard time accepting it and I too, am feeling a little bit low and i have moments where I am losing hope and faith. BUT! fear not because Allah does know best and His wisdom is limitless unlike our wisdom and knowledge. We are limited to many things and we really need to trust in Allah no matter what!!! It is a big test of patience for all of us when our duaa's are not answered. I am really learning this now. *sigh* I feel like "ya Rabb I hope you are listening" and then I feel discouraged and sad, but then I get beautiful reminders like this blog post and I remember, "yes Rabbi is listening to me but I just need to be patient"...no matter HOW much we want something so badly and it never works out in our favour, we really have to be patient and remember that Allah has something better for us. I know it's so hard to tell yourself this because sometimes when we want something we just want it like NOW! (well I do anyway hehehe) and it's really really hard for me to fight my nafs because I was always used to the "i want it , and i want it now!" syndrome (aka - only child syndrome lool) but with Islam, I have started to learn to be more patient, and I still am....I feel you sis I know how heartbroken you must be because I feel the same with my situation. But lets both trust in Allah and know that He has the wisdom that we do not and inshaa'Allah everything will work out for the best. I guess we should consider ourselves lucky and blessed since Allah could just give us what we ask for and in the end it would harm us, but alhamdulillah He is watching out for us and wants His servants to get the best of this dunya and the Hereafter !!! oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo smile! :)

Unknown July 23, 2012 at 3:35 AM  

thnks you soo much such an inpiring msg...i am in the same situation ..i didnt get into university..im so dishearted..i feel like ending ma life sometymes

Little Auntie July 24, 2012 at 7:07 AM  

No, no, tannzyllah!! Don't ever think about ending your life! Something not going your way doesn't mean that it your life should end: it means that Allah has a different plan/direction for you :) Be open to Allah's plan. Trust in His Wisdom and Mercy for you. Know that He knows what you need and what is better for you better than yourself :)

Anonymous,  September 1, 2012 at 1:17 PM  

I just wanna say god bless you, that post really helped me! When I didn't get the job I wanted earlier this year I thought I had died - the most excruciating feeling. Your post has given me perspective!

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
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