>> Saturday, March 31, 2012
I don’t know where to start. I belong to a middle class family with an average income. However, I’ve always been a high achiever though and all my life, I was dreaming of entering a certain university. I cannot describe to you how much I studied in high school. My entire life revolved around my books. When my friends would go out and have fun, I would be stuck at home, studying, dreaming of the day that I would enter that university. I did everything I could and made so much dua that Allah would let me enter the university. I would wake up in the third of the night and beg Allah to just let me enter and be accepted in the Scholarship program. I just found out though that I was not accepted. I’m really heartbroken and my faith is a little lost right now. It just seems so unfair. My friends who never took a day of school seriously are going to the university and I who prayed and begged Allah to go am not accepted. Why?!
Please help me. I don’t want to lose my faith.
First of all, sis, I know you must have been feeling heartbroken when things didn’t turn out the way you expected.
But the truth is that Allah is the Most Merciful and the Most Loving. He loves to hear us call His Name and He gets so happy when we turn to Him an ask us to give us something. And you know what? He actually gets angry if we do not ask Him for things. But what’s even more incredible is that Allah feels embarrassed to return someone who supplicates Him with nothing.
The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said: ‘‘Indeed your Lord is Alive, Most generous. He feels shy that when his servant raises his bands towards Him, calling upon Him, that He should return him empty, having nothingSo, why am I telling you all of this?
Yes, I read your question and I understand you didn’t get what you wanted. And you did ask. And you worked hard. And there wasn’t anything else you could do…
But that’s the thing. It’s not because Allah didn’t want to give it to you. It’s because what you wanted wasn’t good for you.
Ibn Al Qayim expressed this beautifully:
" Verily, when Allah withholds, He actually gives, because He did not withhold on account of miserliness or stinginess, but rather He looked at the benefit of the servant. So the fact that He withheld is actually His choice for the servant and His excellent decision.”
Think about it. Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala is not like us. Do you know what will happen tomorrow? Or what will happen 10 years from now? No, we don’t. But Allah does!
Not only that, we don’t actually know what's actually good for us and the impact of every small thing.
I mean I recently watched a short true story. It was a video about a Somalian woman who lived in a village where all of the water ran out. Basically, she heard there was water down south so she took her three kids, left the village, and began searching for water. On the journey to find water, all three of her children died from dehydration. And only later, she found water.
This woman went out in the hot burning sun and she walked and walked. And she prayed for water. (And can you imagine how sincere her dua was? I mean she wanted water so we can assume it was straight from her heart, especially after the death of her first child.)
But it didn’t come when she wanted it to. It came later.
The story doesn’t end there, though. When she told her story to an Emirati charity, they were so affected by it, that they went to her village and built a number of wells there to make sure no other mother would have to go through what she went through.
So although three lives were lost, an entire village was saved. (And those three are in jannah, inshaAllah.) And who knows how many other lives/ villages saved? I’m sure after other people learned about this charity and heard about this woman’s plight, more and more people donated money and began to think about building wells.
Do you see what I’m saying? These ayahs should make it clearer:
And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. (3)
You see, sister, Allah’s knowledge is unlimited. His Wisdom unsurpassed. He’s far more Merciful, and far more Knowledgable than us. The problem is that a lot of times we’re a lot like a little kid sniffling because we didn’t get the candy bar we wanted; we think we know what’s best for us, but the reality is that we don’t actually know. He does and in everything He ordains or us, there is both mercy and Wisdom in that decree. He's looking out for YOU.
And you know what else? We have to remember that this life is simply a test. That's it: just a test we have to go through. Think about what that means. The people we meet, the situations we're put in, the problems we face- all of that are simply questions on the test. If you asked for something and you worked really hard for it, but you still didn’t get it, that could mean that it wasn’t good for you and that Allah, the Most Wise, didn’t want you to lose sight of the real goal: passing this test.
What if, for example, you had been accepted and you met people who took you away from the deen? What if “ getting in” would have made you distracted from Allah? What if you would have gotten so wrapped up with your uni life, that you would have totally forgotten about Allah?
See, nothing is actually good for us if it makes us forget out true purpose in life or if it makes turn away from Allah. And there is absolutely nothing that is worth you losing out on the HereAfter. And that’s just it- Allah doesn’t want you to exchange the mirage of this world for the HereAfter. He could have given you what you wanted and you might have felt happy. But for how long?
If it meant that you’d lose out on heaven, how happy would you have truly been?
That’s why, sweets, I want you to understand something. A Muslim's du'a is accepted in one of the 3 ways,
a) Either he is given what he asked for,
b) It is delayed to the future
c) He is rewarded in the hereafter.
Your duas though are NEVER EVER wasted. And you will get something better than you wanted inshaAllah.
I know that right now you can't imagine that...but some day, you will. As Yasmin Mogahed says:
“There are pieces of your life, moments, events, decisions, and you saw no significance in them when they happen. You may even despair. Its only when time goes by and you look back and suddenly you can see your whole life like a perfectly designed puzzle. Dont be afraid of the puzzle piece youre in now. It’ll fit perfectly…just like the rest. How could it not? The Designer is perfect.”I hope dear sister that this helps you a teensy weensy bit and that the other sisters can also help you.
P.S. As for your "friends" who got in and didn't do any work, don't ever think that is actually a reward. Perhaps, it's going to be a major trial for them. You see, the Quran tells us that things that we think are blessings are also trials:
And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, "My Lord has honored me." (15) But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me." (16)
Both are a trial, SubhanAllah.