>> Thursday, January 16, 2014
I need help. For a little background information, just a year ago, I was someone completely lost. My life was all sins and my only thought was enjoying myself/getting what and who I wanted. Audoobillah. I'm so ashamed of all that I did. Wallahi, I cry myself to sleep sometimes, just worrying what Allah will do to me and whether I can ever be forgiven. I was sooo bad, sister.The thing is, though, this year, I have really started practicing Islam and becoming a much better person. And as the year has progressed, I have come to find myself really attracted to this brother in the MSA who is one of the best persons I have ever met. And here we come to the problem.Recently I was in a discussion where somebody mentioned this verse " Impure women are for impure men, and impure men for impure women. Good women are for good men, and good men are for good women;..." and it has just left me with the sensation that I would never ever deserve someone like him. He is pure, practicing, has memorized the Quran, always praying his prayers....me...I'm trying so hard now, but I did so many sins. Does this verse mean that I am doomed to marry someone with a terrible past like me ....Can I or do I even deserve to think about marrying someone pure?Not so pure :(
“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”[al-Zumar 39:53].
Abu Umama Sudayy ibn 'Ajlan al-Bahili reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to me, said, "There is nothing which Allah Almighty loves more than two drops and two steps: a drop of tears shed out of fear of Allah and a drop of blood shed in the way of Allah. And the two steps are a step in the way of Allah Almighty and a step towards one of the obligations of Allah Almighty." [at-Tirmidhi]
^Just keep taking steps closer to Allah!
- Second, the verse you mentioned actually has many different tafsirs. Although I am not a scholar, I want to point out one thing that many people who do not speak Arabic do not realize concerning this verse:
Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”[al-Noor 24:26] l Some of them said that it refers to bad and good words, so the meaning of the verse is: Evil words are for evil men, and evil people are for evil words, and good words are for good people, and good people are for good words. Others said that it refers to evil and good actions. So the meaning of the verse is: Evil actions are for evil men, and evil people are for evil actions, and good actions are for good people, and good people are for good actions. The third opinion concerning this verse is that evil and good refer to people with regard to marriage. So the meaning of the verse is: evil women are for evil men, and evil men are for evil women, and good women are for good men, and good men are for good women. There is no reason why the verse cannot be understood in all these senses, although the most obvious meaning is the first one mentioned, and this is the opinion of the majority of mufassireen.From: http://islamqa.info/en/
1. With regard to the previous verses that were about chaste women and the affair of 'Ifk and
with regard to the sentence: "... such are innocent of that which they say...",
the verse means that the evil words such as calumny and slander are
appropriate for malicious people, and pure and nice words are suitable for pure persons.
You see how this verse might not even be discussing marriage?
Well, it doesn't doom you to marrying someone 'impure'. You have changed. That's what counts. Since you have repented, there is no reason for you to continue to count yourself as someone 'impure or bad'.
Whoever does good whether male or female and he is a believer, We will most certainly make him live a happy life, and We will most certainly give them their reward for the best of what they did. (16: 97)
Well, sister, I hope this helps you a bit. May Allah keep you steadfast on His deen,