>> Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Dear Little Auntys,I started wearing hijab a few weeks ago and alhamdullilah it has been great! I've been feeling like my imaan has really lifted and very proud of myself for finally taking this step. There were a few comments I got from some people that were not that best kind, but in general, most people have been supportive and I'm really happy with myself. The only problem though is that I still can't get myself to wear it in front of my cousin. He's almost the same age as me, but about a year older, but we grew up together. All our lives we've been so close. I don't have any real brothers but I consider him to be my brother. I feel like wearing it would make things very awkward between us and am not sure what his reaction will be or my aunt's and uncles.
First of all, let me say, Ma'shaallaaaaaaaaaaaaaah for putting on the hijab and taking up this step. That's fantastic. I'm happy to hear that your imaan is also soaring...do continue to water it, though, because sometimes you have "an imaan high" when you start doing a new ibadah and then suddenly find it plummeting. It's really natural, but I don't want you to go through all that.
Anyyyyyways, let's take a look at your question.
And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed. (31) (Surah 24, 31)
The thing is, there is a reason why Allah does not mention cousins in that verse. Despite the fact that in the West there is a sort of rule about not marrying your cousin, the reality is that we can feel attracted to our cousins. In fact, just recently, I read an article that listed a bunch of tweets where people confessed that they found their cousins attractive/ hot/ wanted to be friends/ were surprised at their feelings but were definitely into their cousins.
We were friends for a long time before we got together in 1997 and I had never seen him in that way before. I was definitely scandalised by it and worried about how to tell people – especially my family.Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.
uk/femail/article-2012948/ Greta-Scacchi-Why-I-child- cousin.html#ixzz2qT48hKb9
Years ago, it was actually quite common for people, no matter what country they were from, to marry their cousins..
Sis, putting the hijab on in front of your cousin may make things awkward, but the reality is that now that you have grown up...the situation is awkward. He actually isn't your brother. As any member of the opposite gender, you have a magnetic pull towards each other. There is or could be "an attraction" between the two of you....
If he asks you about it, make sure though that you show that it isn't any personal, but that you are trying your best to fulfill an obligation.
As for your aunt and uncle, give them a little warning. Call up your aunt and tell her! Share the good news :) Or have your mom tell her. And also, that's not a bad idea to warn your cousin, as well.
May Allah make things easier for you and accept your worship, sis!
Sisters..if any of you were in this situation, please share some advice :)