That Time of the Month and Ramadan...

Apu (sister)...do u knw...wht exactly we can do when we go through our period during ramadan....as we cant do prayer,fast,recite Quran....thn wht shud we do?

- Don’t Want to Miss out on Ramadan

Dear Don’t Want to Miss out on Ramadan,

You have asked a really great question! This question actually reminds me of our mother Aisha Radiya Allah Anha, and you’ll see why in a few moments. But first, let me just say that you may have noticed some of the suggestions we offered the last questioner, like dua, dhikr, charity, and listening to lectures. Those are all things that you can try doing, as well. You can also listen to Qur’an and recite the parts that you have memorized.

But the fundamental thing that you can do is truly worship Allah with your heart.

How? And what do we mean by worship Allah by your heart? Well, for one thing, I heard a daee (by the name Amr, but not the famous Amr Khaled, lol) say, the ‘Biggest thing women can do when they have their periods is be content with Allah’s decree’. What does that mean?

It means- don't hate your period or hate not fasting because it is Allah Subhanoo Wa' Tala who decreed that.

When you complain about your period, you’re suggesting that
a) you’re not satisfied with what Allah has ordained.

Narrated Al-Qasim:

'Aisha Radyia Allah Anha said, "We set out with the sole intention of performing Hajj and when we reached Sarif, (a place six miles from Mecca) I got my menses. Allah's Apostle came to me while I was weeping. He said 'What is the matter with you? Have you got your menses?' I replied, 'Yes.' He said, 'This is a thing which Allah has ordained for the daughters of Adam…

b) you think Allah is going to somehow be unfair to you and not give you as much as a reward as you deserve/want to earn…

Of course not! Allah Suhbanoo wa’ Tala isn’t trying to make you lose points. And He is, never not fair! Haven’t we heard of this hadith?

Abdullah Bin 'Amr reported that the Prophet said: "No (believing) person gets sick, but (his deeds) will be recorded for him in accordance with what he used to do when he was well." [Bukharee]

So wait, am I saying that’s what happens when we get our periods? No, I don’t know if that’s what happens, but I do know that the One who placed such a fair and just method of recording our deeds (actually such a merciful one) has surely placed a fair one for us women.

Besides, we DO know that our actions are by our intentions. If in the beginning of the month, you truly intended to pray taraweeh the whole month and finish reading the whole Qur’an, you’re going to get what you intended, inshaAllah!

We also for sure know this hadith:

Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (Radiya Allah Anhoo) reported that the Prophet (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "A Muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. "

[Bukharee and Muslim]

For all you know, enduring a few painful cramps with patience may raise your ranks much more than praying a few rakahs.

Not only that, but when you truly feel at peace with His decision, you will be able to truly be pleased with Him as your Lord. And instead of concentrating on what has prevented you from praying -your period-, you'll be able to concentrate on WHO you pray to and fast to, in the first place. You'll be able to truly draw closer to Him.

The next ‘worship of the heart’ is to keep concentrating on your intentions. Every act you do, let your intention be for The Sublime in your head (and heart!). If you help your mother cook iftar or suhoor, you can let your intention be that you’re trying to help your mother and helping to feed a fasting person! (Remember, if you ‘feed a fasting person, you’ll get the reward as if you fasted!)

If you have a younger sibling, you could even try bringing an extra special box of chocolates. I’m sure it would make them really happy. You see, we ‘belittle’ these kinda deeds but they are in the sight of Allah very great:

The Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "The most loved people to Allah are the most beneficial, the most loved deeds to Allah the Exalted are making a Muslim happy, revealing his sorrow, paying his debt, or revealing his hunger, and that I'd prefer to help my Muslim brother who is in need of something than staying in this mosque for praying (I'tikaf) for a month…”

I personally would suggest you could set yourself a target to do at least 5 good deeds like these a day. And don’t just ‘set them’. Try to complete these 5, lol. We’ve already said that you could help out with the iftar…what about offering to do the dishes afterwards? Cleaning the car? Doing some of your parents' or siiblings' chores? What about helping a friend in need. It could even be making a Thank You card for your Mum!

Another thing you could do is ‘babysit’! You know how many Muslim women out there who don’t go to the mosque because they don’t want their kids to irritate the people praying? How about since you can’t exactly go there, you give them a chance and offer to take care of their kids for them?

It could even be a smile at the grumpy old lady across the street.

Whatever it is, if you're intention for doing these things are only for Allah, then you'll be remembering why you're doing it and having this constant thought in your mind will, inshaAllah, bring you closer to Allah.

Besides ‘the heart worship’, you can also take this time to study Islam! Read the stories of the prophets and then try explaining them to someone else. Find out the stories of the Prophet’s wives. Read the tafsir of the Qur’an. Organize a halaqah with some other sisters and share some of the knowledge you have learned.

Keep yourself busy in productive ways, check out: www.productiveramadan.com

Oh and one very simple thing you can do but that will yield you tremendous reward is to make dua that Allah forgives all the Muslims. In this way, you will get good deeds for every single Muslim in the world.

Lastly, please remember that a 'break from fasting’,' isn't a break from Ramadan...so also, continue to avoid watching bad shows, etc!

So smile, hon! There's no reason to worry about 'missing out on Ramadan'...

                                                                  and

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Not Feelin' Ramadan

You see, I have a little problem. With Ramadan here I feel the need to strive to increase my Imaan. But, even with all the good deeds I do I still feel that I'm coming up a bit...short. I do fast, pray (including Taraweeh and Inshallah Tahajjud), and read Quran...well some days but I do listen to some everyday, I make dhikr, and I try my best to please my Lord. And yet I continually feel that what I'm doing isn't good enough, and I know its not Shaytan putting thoughts in my head since he's gone for the month. So right now I'm wondering what could I do to get out of this little slump.

Sincerely,
A Little Confused Girl

Wa’alykum as salam wa rahmat Allah wa barkatoo, Dearest A Little Confused Girl,

I know what you mean! This Ramadan has been going really extremely fast for me and I feel nowhere near the ‘level’ I wanted to ‘get’ at yet. But, I want to congratulate you! That you refuse to accept the level that you are now and that you want to make the best of Ramadan and that you went so far as to send in this question….I think inshaAllah you might just have your best Ramadan yet!

First though, a little explanation as to why you might be feeling this way…You know what I think it is? I think it’s because most of us count on Ramadan to get our yearly imaan boost. We think of Ramadan as our recharager that’s going to get us through the year….

But we really should see it in the opposite way. We should see ‘the rest of the year’ as our charger that will help us in Ramadan, when it’s time to unplug everything.

Why? Because our hearts are lot like our stomachs. They feed on whatever WE give them- whether it’s good for them or not.

The problem?

Well, that many of us have been feeding them a lot of junk food throughout the year and very little ‘good stuff’. I’m not sure if it’s the case with you or not, but because many of us don’t give ourselves daily doses of Qur’an, dhikr, etc throughout the year, when Ramadan comes, our hearts are like- woaaaaah. They’re not ready for this sudden change/diet.

It’s like what this one da’ee (Mustafa Hosny) once said: “Our hearts don’t come with a khushoo switch on. We can’t be like –ok, now’s time for khushoo.” It unfortunately doesn’t really work that way .....even in Ramadan.

So is that all I have to say? We should have done this stuff during the year?

Nah, of course not!

There’s still a lot you can do and still a huge chance that this Ramadan will be the Ramadan to set you free from the Hellfire…because all you need is one of your tears to shed…one glance from Allah…one minute where your heart truly yearns to win His pleasure and be saved from His fire….

You’ve still got time, so let’s do this!

1. Talk to Allah!

Dua is so important! (You didn’t mention it in your list, so I’m not sure if you’ve been doing that or not. Remember, the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam called “Dua worship”.)

There are a lot of things you can make dua for- one thing you can do is ask Allah to forgive you for the sins you have committed. Seriously sit down for a little bit and think about all that you have done- not just this month/this year…I mean years back.

If you can’t remember your sins, reflect on this verse:

On the Day when Allah will resurrect them all and inform them of what they did. Allah had enumerated it, while they forgot it; and Allah is, over all things, Witness. (58:6)

Although this verse was revealed within the context of the disbeliever’s fate, it’s still a good idea to reflect on the fact that Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala was with you your whole life- and He knows everything you did and everything your heart ever ‘thought’ about!

Here are some other ideas, too.

• Ask Him to let you witness Laytul Qadr! Remember, it’s not promised to you! You don’t want to miss that night, so ask Him that you live to see that night and that you utilize it in the best way possible
• Be Honest with Him. Maybe you miss feeling close to Him or miss even ‘missing’ Him- tell Him that. Ask Him to bring you closer to Him.
• What if you were to die not a Muslim? You don’t want that, right? Whatever you don’t want, ask Allah to protect you from.

And when you come to ask for jannah, be sincere! I want you to visualize it. I mean really and truly- sit down and think about all the greatest things ever .What is it that you want? Do you want a castle? Is there any Companion that you want to meet? What about the Prophet’s Wives? What about sitting with the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, himself?

Now, don’t just dream about it. Ask Allah for it!

The next thing you gotta do is--

2. Listen to Allah

You said that read the Qur’an some days and listen every day. Girlie, you got to read it every day [that you can]! Listening is great but when you listen, your mind can easily get distracted. When you’re reading, you might pay more attention (but this however, does depend on your personality)…

In either case, whether you choose to listen or read, I want you to approach the Qur’an not just as a ‘book’ to read, but as a timeless guide meant to help YOU personally in your life. One way to do this is to work with the A&A method…Its’ basically ASK& ANSWER.

What you do is *you guessed it*- ‘ask’ yourself questions:

General examples: What is this verse referring to? What is this story? How can I relate that to my daily life? What can I learn from this chapter? Do I have those characteristics? Wait, this verse says ‘Allah loves’- who are the ones that Allah loves? Let me do a search on that and list them…

Specific examples:

• Who are the people of Al’Araf? Is it possible you’re heading in that direction?
• How come this verse tells the Believers to believe: O you who have believed, believe in Allah and His Messenger and the Book that He sent down upon His Messenger and the Scripture which He sent down before. And whoever disbelieves in Allah, His angels, His books, His messengers, and the Last Day has certainly gone far astray. (Surat Al Nisa: 136)

But we’re still not done, yet! The ASK and ANSWER method also implies that you take a look at the Qur’an as the book of answers. It’s got everything you need to know. So each verse you read could also be taken as an answer to something…..it’s your job to figure out what could this answer. You need to figure out the question!

For example:

Say, "Not equal are the evil and the good, although the abundance of evil might impress you." So fear Allah, O you of understanding, that you may be successful. (5:100)

How would this answer something in your personal life? Do you go to school? Is there a ‘cool group’? Are they doing bad things? Are you being impressed by things that don’t impress Allah? Is there a group of good girls that you really don’t talk to cause they’re like ‘boring/uncool’? What do you think this verse is answering you about that?

You see what I mean?

I know it can be hard in the beginning! That’s why I’m also going to list a few other things you should check out:

Videos by Nouman Khan: 
Videos by Wisam Sharieff
Ramadan Tafsir Series
Taraweeh Truffles by Mohammed Al Shareef (oh and be sure to check out his Heartwheel Journal)

3. Some Pointers on Dhikr

When you are saying ‘IstagfirAllah” or asking Allah for His forgiveness, think about how Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala has made forgiveness so easy. Did you ever notice how in surat Al Baqarah, Prophet Moosa told his people that the way for them to do repentance was to actually kill themselves? Now, this was because they had seriously transgressed- worshipping a calf, after Allah had literally saved them and had given them soOoooOoooOoo many signs- but think about how all we have to do is ask Allah for His forgiveness.

Also, think about how Allah promised those who do istighfar, not only forgiveness, but things in this life that we all want:

He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers (11) And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers. (12) (Surat Al Nuh)

In fact, we should all say ‘alhamdillah’ that Allah has given us the option to do ‘istaghfar’.

What about when you are saying “La Ilaha Illah Allah”- think about how you really want that to be the very last thing you say in your life.

When you’re saying “SubhanAllah wa bihamdehee, SubhanAllah Adheem”, think about how you are actually saying something that Allah LOVES. You are trying to please Him with what He loves……what do you think He’s going to give you in return?!

Also, just think about how you are growing your garden in Jannah when you do dhikr.  You’re getting your treasures ready!

4. About Taraweeh!

The best thing I can tell you is to again, understand what the Imam is reciting. Be sure to have read the translation of the juza earlier (if you can/don’t speak Arabic that well).

For example, let’s say the Imam is reciting a Surah that deals with the story of Moosa alyhee as salam and Pharaoh. Well, unlike Pharaoh who refused to bow down, you’re going to bow down.

You’re going to put your head all the way on the ground- in complete submission to your Creator.

I also would highly recommend this short e-book which will completely transform the way you ‘approach’ prayer, insahAllah. It’s called: Taste It!

Another thing- you said ‘tahajud’ inshaAllah. Why wait until the last 10 days to do tahaujd? Who said you’re going to live that long, right? You know, I actually had a neighbor pass away on the stairs around the 3rd day of Ramadan. He literally died. Can you believe that? (He wasn’t Musilm, by the way), but that’s the thing. We expect that we’re going to live till the last 10 days…and it’s this ‘expectation’ that prevents us from fulfilling our potential. Decide to wake up tonight! It could be even only half an hour before suhoor time. It will be just you and Allah- a meeting unlike any other, inshaAllah. And this time, when you say “Allahu Akbar”, or God is Greater, you’re going to really mean it, inshaAllah. He’s greater than your sleep- greater than anything!

5. Go out and Do Something For Others
- Give charity and sadaqah
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen or cook some meals yourself and pass them out! (Preferably to the homeless but if you don’t know where they are…)
- Clean up the masjid, yourself, so that when people come to pray taraweeh, it’s nice and clean. Maybe put some small water bottles there (cause if taraweeh is for a long time, people can get thirsty).


6. Listen to Islamic videos/lectures/etc.
These are supposed to be good

7. Avoid as much as possible any sins!


Well, sis, these are some small suggestions. I hope they help you a bit. I do want to clarify one tiny misconception, though which is that the small little devils are still here, even during Ramadan (I’m having a bad google day and can’t find the proof, but inshaAllah another sister will come along, hehe). But, you can do this! Allah subhanoo Wa Tala has given you this chance to earn jannah...


Hoping the rest of Ramadan is fantastic for you,

P.S. Don’t forget to make dua for the Ummah!

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Watch out for the Thorns!

Asalamu aliakum wa rahmat Allah wa barkatoo!

For a change! This time instead of the aunties answering a question, the aunties are asking you a question!

Why do we fast?

Is it to feel hungry? Is it to feel thirsty?

What did Allah says is the reason He ordained fasting?

I’m going to cheat you and put the answer:

Yes, that you may become from those who have piety or taqwa...

But what exactly does it mean to have taqwa?

On one occasion Umar ibn al-Khattāb asked another, Ubayy ibn Kab, who was one of the best amongst all of the companions to recite the Quran, he asked him: “Oh Ubayy, what is taqwa?”, He (Ubayy) answered: “Have you ever found yourself walking along a path on which there are thorns strewn?” Umar said: “Yes!”, so Ubayy ibn Kab said: “What do you do (in such a situation)?” Umar replied: “I raise my cloak, and then I tread very carefully.” Ubayy ibn Kab said: “THAT is taqwa.”

So when you are fasting, inshaAllah, this month, step very carefully. Leave the temptations of this world which are really ‘thorns’ in disguise. Leave all that Allah has forbidden and cling to what He has commanded us to do.

Let your fasts count!

And you know what your reward will be? Ibn Juzayy listed the following rewards for those who attain taqwa, citing verses from the Qur'an as proof:

§  

 Guidance : "guidance for the muttaqeen' (2:2)
 Help : "ِAnd know that Allah is with those who have taqwa":) 2:194)

 Close friendship [with Allah] : "Allah is the close friend of the muttaqeen" (45:19)

 Allah's Love :  "Truly Allah loves the muttaqeen  (3:76")

 A way out from unhappiness, and provision from where one does not expect: "Whoever has taqwa of Allah He will make a way out for him and provide him from where he does not expect" 65:2-3)

 Facilitation of affairs:  "Whoever has taqwa of Allah He will make ease for him in his affair"( 65: 4)

 Full covering over of wrong actions and magnification of rewards  "Whoever has taqwa of Allah He will cover over his wrong actions and magnify a reward for him" (65:5)

 Acceptance of actions/worship :"Allah only accepts from the people of taqwa (5:27")

 Success: "Have taqwa of Allah in order that you might succeed";

 Good news :"For them there is good news in this world and in the next";

 Entrance into the Garden and forgiveness: "Truly, there are for the people of taqwa with their Lord Gardens of bliss" 68:34,   And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous (3:133)

 Salvation from the Fire : "Then We will save the ones who had taqwa".

So let's make this Ramadan our best ever! And, let’s make this Ramadan a new beginning for us!


No more 'fearing' people, friends, relatives' reactions. No more worrying about 'fitting in', 'belonging'....No more excuses, no more disobeying Allah! No more fearing people and not fearing Allah. No more letting Allah's opinion of us count the least...

 It is only Shaytaan that suggests to you the fear to his friends and supporters, so fear them not, but fear Me, if you are, in truth, believers." (Surah Ali Imran 3:175) 

Let's do this. 


Lots of love,
All the aunties


P.S. We''d also like to take the time to say that for Ramadan, we will be 'on temporary break'. You can continue to send in your questions, but we may not answer them until after Ramadan is over.
P.S.S. Read here: http://www.bogvaerker.dk/Bookwright/Taqwa.html to know how to awaken taqwa and the degrees of taqwa there are

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