Time Flies!

Assalaam o Alaikum. I have a BIG problem, no matter how much i try i can't stop myself from wasting time and so i end up not being punctual. i don't go to classes on time. i miss appointments. i get to them late. I know how precious time is, and that i will be questioned on its use, but i can't get myself to get to placees on time. i drive, and my university is at a 5 minute drive from home!!!! :( :( this is a desperate call, coz i'm beginning to lose trust in myself and so my confidance when making promises.... please help me out with baby steps i should take for me to get punctual.
Also, i usually miss praying Fajr on time. i pray it when i wake up to go to uni. i sleep late, coz im doing assignments and stuff, then i can't or don't wake up for Fajr, and so i pray when i wake up... i get so confused with what to do. i study late into the hight, because i come back from uni in the evening at around 5 or 6.. and then it takes me time to get started on studying, and so i start late, and then end late. which leads to me missing out on fajr!! :( :( :( :( 
Please pray for me, and if there's anything i should be doing, or a certain way i should be thinking PLEASE do let me know! JazakamUllah hu khairun! You ladies are doing an AWESOMMMEEE job! MashaAllah! :) :) :) 
Hope

Wa laykum salaam dear sis, 

I'm really glad that you've noticed something in your lifestyle that can be changed for the better, and that you've picked it out to improve, mashaAllah, I think we can all take a leaf out of your book there and do that. :)

You're absolutely right, timekeeping and organising your time is sooo important to become well-rounded muslims who keep control of their life, instead of their life controlling them. Islam teaches us to be punctual- think about how are our prayers are by the 'dot', our fasts also, and Hajj. Everything has a prescribed time and it's so important that we learn to manage our time.


So let's go through this systematically. 

1) Punctuality - missing classes/appointments/meetings:

In any aspect of life, punctuality is key for success. But don't worry, it's not that hard to acquire in your life if you make an effort to do so. Some things you can do to be more punctual for classes etc.;

- Do everything 30 minutes earlier. So, write on your timetable (if you don't have one, make one, but more on that later :P), that your classes start 30 minutes earlier than they actually do. Make this stick in your mind. When you make an appointment, write down the time and place on a calendar or in your phone, but write down the time as at least 15 minutes earlier than the real time. And you know what? Use your cellphone and put 'reminders'. Again, 15 minutes earlier. 

- To get yourself in the habit of doing this, set your watch/phone clock 5 minutes earlier! Remember to keep at least one access to the real time so you pray at the right time. And only do this for about a week! Just to get yourself in the habit of doing things earlier - it's a psychological trick which sometimes, might just do the trick! :P


- Have your friends 'message you'/ 'pass by' you so you can get to class on time. As you start to get on top of your schedule, it's always best to get some outside help. So, since you live sooooo close to your uni, ask your friends to text you/ ring you/ whatever to make sure that you're there on time. 


- Ask yourself: what makes you late? Are you late because you take a long time to plan your outfit? Plan the whole week's outfit during the weekend! Really. It is such a time saver.

2) Confidence in self - making promises

It's understandable that you feel your confidence is taking a bump - but once again, don't think that this is going to be forever! You should do the following; make a list of all the engagements for the following week. If you have 20, let's say. Which includes classes, meetings, appointments and anything else. You must be punctual for at least 75% of them. So if you have 20, you've got to be on time to at least 15 of them. If you are, then treat yourself inshaAllah on the weekend somehow. I personally feel a tub of chocolate icecream is a perfect treat, but do anything which you think you can aspire to build towards. When you make promises to people, make sure you think about it, and instead of saying 'I will be there', you could say, 'I will try my best, and will let you know closer to the time, inshaAllah'.

-Always say Insha'Allah! Even if it's something tiny. Like, 'I'm going to get milk, I'll be 10 minutes inshaAllah' Enforce this habit in your daily life and you'll be remembering Allah a lot more, inshaAllah, and you'll also be saying that whatever you do - it is Allah's will for whatever happens.

3) Fajr! - 'Prayer is better than sleep!'

I can understand it's a sort of knock-on affect, with the source being uni assignments, right. You could try to stay at uni in the library or study areas and plan your assignments there while you're still in the 'working mood'/'atmosphere'. So when you start them when you get home, the thinking and planning is already done, and you can get simply get stuck-in. Planning may take more time, but it ensures you use your time properly - which actually saves time in the long run!!

-Fighting Fajr Fatigue: Set your alarm and hide it somewhere in your room. Under the bed, on the top shelf, in your wardrobe. Be ruthless!  Then, when it goes 'beepbeep!' and annoys you until your hair stands on end, you will have to get out of bed and get to it. By the time you're out of bed, you should be able to fight to keep yourself out and make your way to make wudhu, inshaAllah. 

Get your family involved! Have them wake you up. Or your friends message you. You can even leave some mouth watering amazing chocolate outside of your room to tempt you. Try everything!

This article is GREAT on getting up for Fajr! Check it out here!

Also, it might be an idea to try to change your sleeping habits, another great article here!

4) This isn't directly to do with anything you asked, but I think it might help. Like you know, organisation is key. Apparently, organising can even drop stress levels! This is what you can do to organise your tasks and life more effectively, inshaAllah.

-Write things down!; It's been proved that when you write something down, it becomes more embedded in your mind too. Also, it gives you the chance to look over things, so you don't forget and also can give a sense of achievement when you tick it off. (: So my advice to you, would be to invest in a simple notebook. Keep this solely for planning. Every morning (after fajr, inshaAllah!!), write down all the things to do. Here's an example from my life;

Things to do:

Fajr

Qur'an translation

School-Physics

School-French
School-Graphics

School Council Meeting (Print notes)

Dhuhr

Ask about homework

Buy Science revision book

Asr

Relax/Write

Maghrib

Physics homework

French speaking preparation

Make mindmap on History topic

Isha

Dinner

Qur'an

Sleep Routine

Try to write all the tasks for the day in chronological order, slotting in prayer times too. That's an easy way to embed Salah in your lifestyle if you have trouble with doing it on time.

Now, on the other side of the paper, write down a timetable for the day. So from my tasks list I would take everything and put it in like this:

-Fajr and English Quran (until 7am)

-School (until 4pm)

                              -Dhuhr

                              -Physics/French/Graphics

                              -Meeting (print notes)

                              -Ask about homework

                              -School shop (for revision book)

-Get home and pray Asr (until 4.30pm)

-Relax/Write/Snack (until 7pm)

-Maghrib and chores(until 7.30pm)

-Homework and school work (until 8.30pm)

-Isha

-More homework and school work (until 10pm)

-Qur'an

-Sleep routine (bed no later than 11pm)

Insha'Allah.

Keep the paper/notebook with you during the day and look back to it. Give yourself deadlines, but make them flexible enough for you to follow them.

If you can't follow your plan, don't worry, adjustments can be made to fit circumstances and that's fine. 

Lastly, this technique of the 5s' can be useful too!

Look at this technique too;

Stephen Covey writes about prioritising. For every task, put it in each of these quadrants. You want to avoid all quadrants except for Number 2. Covey says to spend most time in this quadrant so not to be driven by the tyranny of urgency!

When things become 'urgent' it means you've left them too late. So an assignment in for tomorrow would fit into Quadrant 1. But it shouldn't have become urgent in the first place - it should have been done earlier.

Quadrant 3 is doing things such as watching the new episode of your favourite series. It's urgent because it's on right now! But it's not important.

Quadrant 4 is where you don't want to be treading! It's doing things which aren't important, nor do they require urgency.

It's just something to think about when you're doing something. Ask yourself these questions, just to make sure you're using your time with the right tasks inshaAllah.

Lastly, if Allah wills, you will. Don't lose hope, just try again and again and again - and even again, inshaAllah.

Pray to your Lord for more productive habits, and keep praying. You'll get there eventually if you keep praying even when it seems there is no hope. There always is, so smile (:

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Salah Struggles

I know that salah is important but lately I just can't get myself to pray, especially fajr. I feel so down. What can I do?

Wish I Could Pray Again,

Salaam Wish I Could Pray Again,

Well first off, well done for knowing that salah is important, you've taken the first step and you WANT to pray, that's important so mashaAllah.

I'm sorry that you feel down at the moment, you know there can be lots of reasons to this. I've been there, the stress of school and grades, teachers who won't get off your back, friends who just don't understand, the backbiters, gossipers, bullies and plain nasty people, even family who won't give you a break and all you want to do is have fun! You can just want to lie in bed all day but you can't let these things dictate whether or not you should pray. The way I see it, darling, is that if I'm down about something, I really shouldn't ignore the One who can actually fix my problems, right? Shouldn't I rush to Him. Wouldn't it make more sense if I'm feeling down to go and talk to Him, ask Him to help me and give me what's best for me?

Let's use our imaginations, hehe, and pretend you had a ginormously huuuuuge problem and the only person who could fix it happened to be the President or leader of your country. Now do you think you'd have easy access to them, to see them directly...? You'd have to break into some official building and do a dozen illegal things like they do in the movies! Now imagine this: all you have to do is make Wudu, face the Qibla, and raise your hands and say 'Allahu Akhbar'. And ALLAH, the LORD who has all Power promises to answer your call. In fact, He doesn't just answer it. He rushes to answer it:

“…And if he comes to Me walking, I [Allah] go to him at speed.”

Can you imagine the Lord of the Lords running to you? Because you have called on Him? Remember, though, He does it in a way that befits His masjesty.

Not only that, but Allah promises that He is at your disposal, that He is right there with you, closer than the veins in your neck, answering your every sentence, question, dua.

Now, see, do you reeeeally know what's happening when you are reciting Surat Al Fatiha:

On the authority of Abu Hurariya, Radiya Allah Anhoo: the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam reported that Allha has said:


…Allah (mighty and sublime be He), had said: I have divided prayer between Myself and My servant into two halves, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.


When the servant says: Al-hamdu lillahi rabbi l-alamin (3), Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: My servant has praised Me.


And when he says: Ar-rahmani r-rahim (4), Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: My servant has extolled Me,


and when he says: Maliki yawmi d-din (5), Allah says: My servant has glorified Me - and on one occasion He said: My servant has submitted to My power.


And when he says: Iyyaka na budu wa iyyaka nasta in (6), He says: This is between Me and My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.


And when he says: Ihdina s-sirata l- mustaqim, siratal ladhina an amta alayhim ghayril-maghdubi alayhim wa la d-dallin (7), He says: This is for My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.
It was related by Muslim (also by Malik, at-Tirmidhi, Abu-Dawud, an-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah).

The prayer is not a one person act. It's a partnership that is completed by the Most Loving [Al Wadud] answering your every call.

One reason many of us don't feel like praying is because we don't actually understand who we're praying to. We know prayer is important but we don't understand who Allah is. My advice for you then is read a little about Allah. What does it mean that He's As-Shakur, or The Ever Appreciative? How much more would He appreciate your prayer to Him? Did you see the last question that was asked on this blog? We mentioned the famous hadith about the man who had killed 99 persons, right.

We said that according to one version, Allah commanded the righteous town to draw closer and the evil town to move away, and He said, ’Measure the distance between them,’ and he was found to be closer to (the righteous town) by a hand span, so he was forgiven.

Allah rewarded this man so much just because of one thing. His sincere intention and for the man's desire to turn to Allah. Allah MOVED THE EARTH for him, and granted him Jannah.

THAT's how appreciative He is! Now just imagine if you actually pray to him - 5 times a day?

Allah is also Al Wadud [the Loving] - what does that mean? Do we really understand it? Who wouldn't want to talk to the Loving One? What does it mean that He chose to make one good deed equal to 10 [hasanat] and one bad deed equal to one?

Hun, when it's said that Allah is the Most Merciful, what does really mean? We don't understand that mercy. Because we have been saved from so many things we don't even know ourselves. Think about the most forgiving person you know, who will forgive you for literally everything. Maybe your best friend, maybe your mother. Well multiply that by a million, trillion, gazillion! Think of the MOST merciful. That is Allah. And that is why praying your Salah is so UBER important!

Think about it, taking ten minutes for each prayer max, so that's fifty minutes a day. Let's make it a nice number and round it up to sixty. So one hour out of the twenty-four you have in a day is what Allah has asked you to remember Him with. You might say you're too busy, well I'm sure that hour you might spend on Facebook chatting about the new kid at school can be spent somewhat differently? Or the hour you might spend watching 'Friends' re-runs after school can be used in a way which will actually benefit everything you and your loved ones do.

Your life should revolve around ISLAM, not the other way around. If you find it hard to get home in time from school to pray Dhuhr, then pray at school. Find a quiet spot, ask a friendly teacher to use their classroom during lunch. If you forget the timings, then do what I do; write them on your hand in the morning. It's not preferable and it can rub off, but it gives you an idea during the day of what times you should wait for to pray. Another way which could help you complete your prayers is to simply stay in a state of Wudu. If you break it [whoops!] just make wudu again, straight away. Make Wudu everytime you use the bathroom. That way, when you see that it's time to pray you'll be fresh and squeaky clean to pray.

You say you find it hard to get up for Fajr? Well yeah, me too!

I know the main difficulty is getting up when your mind and body doesn't want to know anything except your bed. Some practical things you can do for “Fighting Fajr Fatigue” is to simply get to bed earlier and before you close your eyes, make a true intention in your heart: 'I'm going to get up for Fajr!' Also, ask Allah to wake you up and pray! Then you can drop off.


Another thing you can do is to set two alarms. One for a minute before you should get up and the other for the normal time. That way, if you're dropping off after you've put your first alarm on snooze (I've done it too!) then the second one will wake you up before you get a chance to shut those tired eyes.

Or, another thing you can do is place your alarm clock or your phone, whatever you use at the other side of your room before you go to sleep the night before. That way, you'll HAVE to get up to turn off the racket. And once you're up - the hard bit is over.

OR, if you've got a friend who's willing to help, who you know is quite successful in getting up for Fajr, ask her to drop you a text, she can be your official 'waker'. You might listen to a friend more than an alarm….

Okay, so you're out of bed; woo, celebrations! You've just got to zombie-walk to the bathroom and the main battle has been won, hurrah!

Once you've splashed water on your face and up your nose etc - you should be pretty much awake. At that point, you should simply concentrate on your prayer. It's a direct connection with your Lord, the Creator, the Sustainer, the One God. When you pray, make sure you know what you're saying. If you don't know Arabic, google the translation and look at it every now and then to remind yourself. If you pray with true sincerity from your heart you'll never regret it, even if you did lose your sleep because of it! When you learn to appreciate your prayers, you'll end them with a smile in your soul.

You may not notice it, but praying 5 times a day purifies us a lot! The simple principle of REMEMBERING ALLAH washes away our sins and only makes Allah pleased.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: 'How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins?'

The purity you feel from your heart after Salah beats anything else. It's a truly pure type of purity, if you get me?

Your prayers are what will save you from anything in this world - and the next. Grasp this opportunity with both hands sis, 'cause only good will come out of it.
I know you can do this, you're smart enough to know that prayer is important, and you're willing to change. I respect that so much and I pray that Allah will show you the straight path and bring relief to your adversities.

The Prophet (PBUH) said: "The agreement that is between us and them is the prayer..."

...meaning Allah is asking you to pray. After all the millions and gazillions of blessings He has showered you with, He wants you to pray to Him. And only good will come out of it - let's learn off Nike and 'JUST DO IT'!

Take every day as it comes and try your hardest every day to complete your salah for just that day. Don't worry about tomorrow. Do all you can for today. When tomorrow comes, do the same. It will only get easier as you get in the habit.
I believe you can do this. So grab your headscarf and prayermat and wait for the wonders you will receive from PRAYER.
You can do it hun. So smile. :)


Please do check out this extremely extremely amazing link , too: How to Taste Salah!!!

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