Heya Ala As Salah...(Come to Prayer).

I feel disgusted with myself. I don't know why but I just don't pray. I want to pray but I still won't.
I've stopped listening to music for awhile now. I still watch movies and a few shows but hardly.
I'll pretend I'm on my period, so I don't have to pray. I want to pray but I don't know why I don't. Maybe it's laziness, I don't know...
I want to pray. Please help me and make dua for me.

Dear Ukthe,

It's very good  that you stopped listening to music, ma'shaAllah, but salah is our single most important link to Allah. Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala has told us that the FIRST thing we will be judged upon is our salaah.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “The first matter that the slave will be brought to account for on the Day of Judgment is the prayer. If it is sound, then the rest of his deeds will be sound. And if it is bad, then the rest of his deeds will be bad.” (Tabarani).

The salah is the condition/ pre-requisite for other other ibadaa' to be accepted...

I mean, just imagine it was Ramadan. And you didn't watch t.v. or backbite or anything of that kind.

But you also didn't fast.

Would that be o.k.?

You and I both know that wouldn't be, right. It's the same thing here, sister.

When you don't pray, it's like you're purposefully not turning in your biggest and most important homework assignment. Every single day.

That's why, you have to turn this around. Today, not tomorrow. You can start off by reading our two previous entries on salaah...These are for the kind of people who just need a little inspiration and motivation....

http://dearlittleauntie.blogspot.com/2010/08/salah-struggles.html

http://dearlittleauntie.blogspot.com/2010/10/easily-distractedin-salah.html

But if you need a more serious wake- up call...I honestly hate using the 'harsh method', but some people need more than a push to get up..If you're one of those persons...

Well, honey, pack your bags.

We're going on a little trip.

The Prophet (Sala Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Between a man and kufr and shirk, is abandonment of the prayer.” (Muslim)

"Verily, I am Allah. There is no god but I: So serve thou Me (only), and establish regular prayer for My remembrance". {Sura Tá-há, ayah #14}

And when you travel throughout the land, there is no blame upon you for shortening the prayer, [especially] if you fear that those who disbelieve may disrupt [or attack] you. Indeed, the disbelievers are ever to you a clear enemy.  (4: 101).....And when you have completed the prayer, remember Allah standing, sitting, or [lying] on your sides. But when you become secure, re-establish [regular] prayer. Indeed, prayer has been decreed upon the believers a decree of specified times. (103)

Notice, sister how Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala does not
 excuse the Muslims from completely abandoning 
the salah even during war. We are allowed to shorten it, but even when we are 'battling with an enemy', we still have to pray!

Narrated Abu Huraira: I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "If there was a river at the door of anyone of you and he took a bath in it five times a day would you notice any dirt on him?" They said, "Not a trace of dirt would be left." The Prophet added, "That is the example of the five prayers with which Allah blots out (annuls) evil deeds."

"And be steadfast in prayer and regular in charity: And whatever good you send forth for your souls before you, you shall find it with Allah for Allah sees Well all that you do." (Sura Al-Baqarah, ayah # 110)

Narrated Abu Hurairah (Radiya Allah Anhoo) Rasualullah (Sallahoo Alyhee wa salam) said... "If the people knew the reward for the Zuhr prayer in its early time, they would race for it. If they knew the reward for the 'Isha' and the Fajr prayers in congregation, they would join them even if they had to crawl. If they knew the reward for the first row, they would draw lots for it."

"And be steadfast in prayer; give Zakat; and bow down your heads with those who bow down (in worship)." (Sura Al-Baqarah, ayah # 43)

But there came after them successors who neglected prayer and pursued desires; so they are going to meet evil - (59) Except those who repent, believe and do righteousness; for those will enter Paradise and will not be wronged at all. (60) (Surat Maryam)

The Day that the shin shall be laid bare, and they shall be summoned to bow in adoration (prostrate), but they shall not be able,- (42) Their eyes will be cast down, ignominy will cover them; they used to be called to prostrate (offer prayers), while they were healthy and good (in the life of the world, but they did not). (43) (68: 42- 43)

“What has caused you to enter Hell?” They will say: “We were not among those who prayed (Salaat).” [Surah al-Muddaththir:42-43]

Sis, we have no reason not to pray. Did you know that even the paralyzed person has to pray? Yes! They do. They have to use their eyes. So what about us?

No matter where we are, what we're doing, Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala is Greater. I mean think about Shaytaan. He refused to bow down once to Allah's command and look what happened to him (true, it was out arrogance), but the idea is...We are in desperate need of our salah.


The 5 daily prayers remind us that our Lord comes first, before anything else. When we put aside what we’re doing to pray, we declare that nothing in this life matters (not our jobs, families, etc) more than Allah. And since the prayers come every couple of hours, we are constantly reminded of Allah. Our lives, then, revolve around Him instead of worldly matters. And although we are told to think of Allah all of the time, it is in our prayers, especially, that we remember to glorify our Lord, thank Him for the countless of blessings He has provided us with, ask Him to guide us to His true path, etc. And when we physically prostrate to the true King and put our faces on the ground, we remind ourselves of our insignificance.

Don’t you agree that the more times that we communicate with Allah, the stronger our relationship with Him?…We have to turn to Him, sis. Before it's too late.

I want to point out something really terrifying. 


The scholars said that if a person dies and they did not pray, they truly die in a state of disbelief.

"He is not washed or prayed over, nor is he buried in the Muslim cemetery. His [Muslim] relatives do not inherit from him. Rather, his wealth is for the Muslim’s state treasury, according to the strongest opinion amongst the scholars. [This is] based on the authentic hadeeth [in which the] Prophet [sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam] stated: “Between a man and shirk [associating partners with Allaah] and kufr [disbelief] there stands his abandonment of the prayer.” This was reported by Imaam Muslim in his Saheeh. The Prophet [sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam] also stated: “The vow [religious commitment] that is between us and them [the hypocrites] is the prayer. He that abandons it has committed disbelief.” This was reported by Ahmad and the compilers of the sunan with an authentic chain from the hadeeth of Buraydaah radiyallaahu ‘anhu.

"My Lord, send me back (99) That I might do righteousness in that which I left behind." (Surat 23) 

Sister, I know that you can do this. I know you can get back to praying. Talk to your sister. Your family. Friend. Get someone to be your prayer buddy. You will be able to do this. 

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Easily Distracted.......in salah

You guys seem to be girls with high iman ... so can you give me advice on how to increase the khushu' in my salat? Because I often feel like I get distracted by little things in my salat and I want to be able to make salat in a better fashion. Of course, I know I should make dua, but can you give me some other tips. Thanks!

-- Easily Distracted.

Dear Easily Distracted!

What a fantastic question. I mean how many of us start praying and end up remembering the homework assignment we’d totally forgotten about, discovering a new pattern in the carpet we’re praying on, and thinking about the comeback we should have told that rude person….? The truth is, many of us find ourselves thinking about something completely different than the prayer at hand (including the aunties here), so I’m really glad you brought up this topic….

Here are a few suggestions that I've heard from various daees and inshaAllah the readers will be able to provide us with their own personal tips! 

• First of all, don’t let the salah ‘interrupt’ your work. What do I mean by that? If you are doing some kind of assignment for example or studying for a test and you realize that asr adhaned (lol, a made up word), but you keep working and then finally, half an hour later, decide to stop and pray…it doesn’t take an auntie to figure out that you’re probably going to be thinking about that assignment/ upcoming test in the middle of your prayer. That’s why you should STOP whatever you are doing ten to fifteen minutes before the prayer time.

Seriously? Yup, seriously. The idea is that you have to CLEAR your mind BEFORE you start praying. Nouman Khan called it ‘flushing your mind’, lol and you really can’t do that if you are making the salah an interruption of your work…..

(Now, one way I have found that helps me to clear my mind is to open the Qur’an randomly and read a few pages. SubhanAllah, I can tell you that landing on a page that discusses Allah’s Mercy/ the reward we get/ can really help motivate you to pray WELL.)

• There’s also another benefit to praying early or right when the adhan calls- the closer you pray to the adhaan, the more likely the adhaan's 'come to prayer, come to success' will remain fresh in your mind and this may make you feel more devoted in staying focused. And also, it lets you NOT rush your prayer.

• What else? Well, many of us think that khushoo begins when we say Allahu Akbar. Actually, khushoo should begin when we say Bismillah. Do you know when we’re supposed to say that? When we begin our wudoo. That’s when we should start thinking about the fact that we’re about to meet our LORD, Allah.

The truth is our ‘wudoo’ itself is an act of worship. I want you to try and think about these hadith the next time you are doing wudoo:

Abu Hurairah (radhiAllaahu'anhu) reports that Rasoolullah ( Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said When the Muslim (or 'Believing') servant makes wudu and washes his face, then the sin of everything he looked at with his eye comes away with the water, or with the last drop of the water, and when he washes his hands then the sin of everything he stretched out his hands to comes away with the water, or with the last drop of the water. And when he washes his feet every sin which his feet walked towards comes away with the water or with the last drop of the water - so that he leaves clean (clear/pure) from sins. [Reported by Muslim (1/148) and others].

Uthmaan (radhiAllaahu 'anhu) said: Rasoolullah (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said Whoever makes wudu and makes it well, his sins come out from his body, even coming out from under his nails. [Reported by Muslim (3/133) and others].

Can you imagine? When you are washing your face, whatever you ‘watched’ or ‘heard’ or ‘said’ that was wrong….all those sins are being washed away. Whatever you touched….those sins are completely being erased. That’s before you even start praying!! What about when you actually start? What happens?

Well I can tell you this….Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala turns to you!

That’s right. When you turn to Him, He turns His Glorious Face to you...

Abu Dharr reported that the Prophet said: "Allah faces the slave while he is in the salah and keeps facing him as long as he does not turn.

But if you turn away from Him and you start thinking about something else, well, here’s the rest of the hadith:

If [the slave] turns, [Allah] turns away from him.”

Another hadith says that Allah calls out to the person who has turned away: To what is better than I? (which I basically think of meaning “Did you find something better than I??”

Did you? Did you find anything better than Him? Whenever you start to feel your attention slipping away, ask yourself that, before Allah asks you!

• It’s also extremely important that when you start your prayer and say the istiadha or “I seek refuge in Allah from the Shaytan” that you mean it! If you feel in your heart that Allah is your Refuge and that He is protecting you from Shaytan’s whispers, you’re bound to concentrate more.

• The next essential thing to concentrate on is reciting surat Al Fatiha.

• If Arabic is not your first language, it’s really important that you know EXACTLY what you're saying. So keep on looking over the translation and think that every WORD is worship. As you utter Surah Fatiha, think about the words in your mind. And what they mean to you. Do you want to be guided along the straight path? I bet you do - so when you pray 'sirratilmustakeem' - feel that you are really PLEADING to you Lord that you WANT to be along this path, and devoted to your Lord.

• Remember, each time you recite a verse, Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala answers you!

• Hmmm, what else? Well, A lot of us fall into the trap of reciting the same surahs over and over again….more specifically, Qul huwa Allahoo ahad (or surat Al Ikhals). The problem with that is that it sometimes ‘becomes automatic’ or ‘routine’. We’re no longer even thinking about what we’re saying, right. That’s why, it’s really important that you VARY what you recite.

• Actually, this may come as a surprise to you but that also goes for what you say in your rukoo and sujood and even opening dua! That’s right. Islam didn’t say that you HAVE to say the same thing, day in and day out….The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam used to say several different things…

For example in the rukoo:

Subhaanaka Allaahumma Rabbanaa wa bihamdika Allaahum-maghfir lee.

Glory is to You , O Allah , our Lord , and praise is Yours . O Allah , forgive me.

Allaahumma laka raka'tu, wa bika 'aamantu, wa laka 'aslamtu khasha'a laka sam'ee, wa basaree, wa mukhkhee, wa 'adhmee, wa 'asabee, wa mastaqalla bihi qadamee.

O Allah , to You I bow (in prayer) and in You I believe and to You I have submitted. Before You my hearing is humbled , as is my sight , my mind , my bones , my nerves and what my feet have mounted upon (for travel).

And many others! You can see the different things that you can say here: 

• It’s also really important you ‘give yourself time’. Pray slowly. If you don't pray slowly, then do... this way you can think about what you're saying. And, inshaAllah, stay focused on your prayer.


Some other tips….

• Try to actually have ONE ROOM in your house where you pray. I mean think about it. If you’re in the t.v. room and the t.v. is on, you’re probably not really going to be thinking about the salah. The same thing goes if you have your laptop open/ books on your bed….Chances are, you might find yourself peeking over there during your salah, rather than concentrating on what you’re actually doing. BUT, if you have one room where you always pray, inshaAllah, with time, you will be able to program yourself that this is the ‘salah room’. It will be your GETAWAY. That’s the room where you get away from this dunya and meet with your Lord. (A lot better than a secret garden, don’t you think?)

• Get rid of needless distractions. Check the temperature of the room beforehand. You really don’t want to be saying “Malik yawmid deen’ and actually thinking “Dang, it is so hot in here….wish I could turn on the .a.c.” Switch your mobile onto the SILENT mode. If you suffer from ‘fixthisscarf a million times during salah syndrome’, try to get a safety pin and pin it properly before salah time. Again, these are small tips, but I know that they can be major distractions.

• You might also want to consider having special prayer clothes. This is also to help get you in the mood of salah.

• Avoid having a really colorful carpet.

• Tell your family beforehand that you are going to pray. It would be great of course if you prayed WITH them, but let’s say you follow the thinking that women should not be imams for each other……tell your mom, “Okay, mom, I’m going to go pray now. If you need anything, I should be done in 15 minutes or so” (or however long it takes you but do remember to pray slowly, hehe). This way you won’t have the whole family searching for you/calling your name/ sorta thing that happens…

• -Qur'an. Alhamdulillah, develop a beautiful relationship with the Quran and read with meaning, understanding, contemplation, sincerity and above all - devotion., Every word, every LETTER is sacred and from ALLAH. SubhanAllah - Allah will guide you , inshaAllah.

• Oh and if you’re a person who hangs out on the computer a lot, let me tell you about this awesome computer program that fellow blogger Rukhpar Mor talked about. This program counts down the prayer times for YOU…..It’s like whenever you’re on the computer, you’ll see how many more minutes/hours left till the next prayer time and it says the Adhan and all….Coolio, or what?!

Besides all this, I encourage you to read this really short but fantastic book called “Taste it!” which I put up before as well as this other answer in our blog to a question on salah:

Finally, I know it’s morbid, but reflect on the fact that at the end of the day, you are going to have ONE LAST prayer. Every person dies after a prayer….this prayer could be your last.

So make it count!

May Allah make us among these people:

Certainly will the believers have succeeded: (1) They who are during their prayer humbly submissive (2)… And they who carefully maintain their prayers - (9) Those are the inheritors (10)Who will inherit al-Firdaus. They will abide therein eternally. (11) (Surat Al Mu’minoon)

These are just a few little suggestions....I pray you will be rewarded and always smiling inshaAllah! (:

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Salah Struggles

I know that salah is important but lately I just can't get myself to pray, especially fajr. I feel so down. What can I do?

Wish I Could Pray Again,

Salaam Wish I Could Pray Again,

Well first off, well done for knowing that salah is important, you've taken the first step and you WANT to pray, that's important so mashaAllah.

I'm sorry that you feel down at the moment, you know there can be lots of reasons to this. I've been there, the stress of school and grades, teachers who won't get off your back, friends who just don't understand, the backbiters, gossipers, bullies and plain nasty people, even family who won't give you a break and all you want to do is have fun! You can just want to lie in bed all day but you can't let these things dictate whether or not you should pray. The way I see it, darling, is that if I'm down about something, I really shouldn't ignore the One who can actually fix my problems, right? Shouldn't I rush to Him. Wouldn't it make more sense if I'm feeling down to go and talk to Him, ask Him to help me and give me what's best for me?

Let's use our imaginations, hehe, and pretend you had a ginormously huuuuuge problem and the only person who could fix it happened to be the President or leader of your country. Now do you think you'd have easy access to them, to see them directly...? You'd have to break into some official building and do a dozen illegal things like they do in the movies! Now imagine this: all you have to do is make Wudu, face the Qibla, and raise your hands and say 'Allahu Akhbar'. And ALLAH, the LORD who has all Power promises to answer your call. In fact, He doesn't just answer it. He rushes to answer it:

“…And if he comes to Me walking, I [Allah] go to him at speed.”

Can you imagine the Lord of the Lords running to you? Because you have called on Him? Remember, though, He does it in a way that befits His masjesty.

Not only that, but Allah promises that He is at your disposal, that He is right there with you, closer than the veins in your neck, answering your every sentence, question, dua.

Now, see, do you reeeeally know what's happening when you are reciting Surat Al Fatiha:

On the authority of Abu Hurariya, Radiya Allah Anhoo: the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam reported that Allha has said:


…Allah (mighty and sublime be He), had said: I have divided prayer between Myself and My servant into two halves, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.


When the servant says: Al-hamdu lillahi rabbi l-alamin (3), Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: My servant has praised Me.


And when he says: Ar-rahmani r-rahim (4), Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: My servant has extolled Me,


and when he says: Maliki yawmi d-din (5), Allah says: My servant has glorified Me - and on one occasion He said: My servant has submitted to My power.


And when he says: Iyyaka na budu wa iyyaka nasta in (6), He says: This is between Me and My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.


And when he says: Ihdina s-sirata l- mustaqim, siratal ladhina an amta alayhim ghayril-maghdubi alayhim wa la d-dallin (7), He says: This is for My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.
It was related by Muslim (also by Malik, at-Tirmidhi, Abu-Dawud, an-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah).

The prayer is not a one person act. It's a partnership that is completed by the Most Loving [Al Wadud] answering your every call.

One reason many of us don't feel like praying is because we don't actually understand who we're praying to. We know prayer is important but we don't understand who Allah is. My advice for you then is read a little about Allah. What does it mean that He's As-Shakur, or The Ever Appreciative? How much more would He appreciate your prayer to Him? Did you see the last question that was asked on this blog? We mentioned the famous hadith about the man who had killed 99 persons, right.

We said that according to one version, Allah commanded the righteous town to draw closer and the evil town to move away, and He said, ’Measure the distance between them,’ and he was found to be closer to (the righteous town) by a hand span, so he was forgiven.

Allah rewarded this man so much just because of one thing. His sincere intention and for the man's desire to turn to Allah. Allah MOVED THE EARTH for him, and granted him Jannah.

THAT's how appreciative He is! Now just imagine if you actually pray to him - 5 times a day?

Allah is also Al Wadud [the Loving] - what does that mean? Do we really understand it? Who wouldn't want to talk to the Loving One? What does it mean that He chose to make one good deed equal to 10 [hasanat] and one bad deed equal to one?

Hun, when it's said that Allah is the Most Merciful, what does really mean? We don't understand that mercy. Because we have been saved from so many things we don't even know ourselves. Think about the most forgiving person you know, who will forgive you for literally everything. Maybe your best friend, maybe your mother. Well multiply that by a million, trillion, gazillion! Think of the MOST merciful. That is Allah. And that is why praying your Salah is so UBER important!

Think about it, taking ten minutes for each prayer max, so that's fifty minutes a day. Let's make it a nice number and round it up to sixty. So one hour out of the twenty-four you have in a day is what Allah has asked you to remember Him with. You might say you're too busy, well I'm sure that hour you might spend on Facebook chatting about the new kid at school can be spent somewhat differently? Or the hour you might spend watching 'Friends' re-runs after school can be used in a way which will actually benefit everything you and your loved ones do.

Your life should revolve around ISLAM, not the other way around. If you find it hard to get home in time from school to pray Dhuhr, then pray at school. Find a quiet spot, ask a friendly teacher to use their classroom during lunch. If you forget the timings, then do what I do; write them on your hand in the morning. It's not preferable and it can rub off, but it gives you an idea during the day of what times you should wait for to pray. Another way which could help you complete your prayers is to simply stay in a state of Wudu. If you break it [whoops!] just make wudu again, straight away. Make Wudu everytime you use the bathroom. That way, when you see that it's time to pray you'll be fresh and squeaky clean to pray.

You say you find it hard to get up for Fajr? Well yeah, me too!

I know the main difficulty is getting up when your mind and body doesn't want to know anything except your bed. Some practical things you can do for “Fighting Fajr Fatigue” is to simply get to bed earlier and before you close your eyes, make a true intention in your heart: 'I'm going to get up for Fajr!' Also, ask Allah to wake you up and pray! Then you can drop off.


Another thing you can do is to set two alarms. One for a minute before you should get up and the other for the normal time. That way, if you're dropping off after you've put your first alarm on snooze (I've done it too!) then the second one will wake you up before you get a chance to shut those tired eyes.

Or, another thing you can do is place your alarm clock or your phone, whatever you use at the other side of your room before you go to sleep the night before. That way, you'll HAVE to get up to turn off the racket. And once you're up - the hard bit is over.

OR, if you've got a friend who's willing to help, who you know is quite successful in getting up for Fajr, ask her to drop you a text, she can be your official 'waker'. You might listen to a friend more than an alarm….

Okay, so you're out of bed; woo, celebrations! You've just got to zombie-walk to the bathroom and the main battle has been won, hurrah!

Once you've splashed water on your face and up your nose etc - you should be pretty much awake. At that point, you should simply concentrate on your prayer. It's a direct connection with your Lord, the Creator, the Sustainer, the One God. When you pray, make sure you know what you're saying. If you don't know Arabic, google the translation and look at it every now and then to remind yourself. If you pray with true sincerity from your heart you'll never regret it, even if you did lose your sleep because of it! When you learn to appreciate your prayers, you'll end them with a smile in your soul.

You may not notice it, but praying 5 times a day purifies us a lot! The simple principle of REMEMBERING ALLAH washes away our sins and only makes Allah pleased.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: 'How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins?'

The purity you feel from your heart after Salah beats anything else. It's a truly pure type of purity, if you get me?

Your prayers are what will save you from anything in this world - and the next. Grasp this opportunity with both hands sis, 'cause only good will come out of it.
I know you can do this, you're smart enough to know that prayer is important, and you're willing to change. I respect that so much and I pray that Allah will show you the straight path and bring relief to your adversities.

The Prophet (PBUH) said: "The agreement that is between us and them is the prayer..."

...meaning Allah is asking you to pray. After all the millions and gazillions of blessings He has showered you with, He wants you to pray to Him. And only good will come out of it - let's learn off Nike and 'JUST DO IT'!

Take every day as it comes and try your hardest every day to complete your salah for just that day. Don't worry about tomorrow. Do all you can for today. When tomorrow comes, do the same. It will only get easier as you get in the habit.
I believe you can do this. So grab your headscarf and prayermat and wait for the wonders you will receive from PRAYER.
You can do it hun. So smile. :)


Please do check out this extremely extremely amazing link , too: How to Taste Salah!!!

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My parents don't really...pray and stuff...

Dear Little Auntie,
My parents are the best. They’re really good and kind people. Masha'Allah, everyone in the community looks up to them. There's only one tiny thing…They’re not really practicing. I don't know what to do. I’m really worried about them!

I'm scared they won’t go to heaven.
Just a little girl

Dear Just a Little Girl,

I can feel your pain from here. Let me give you a big o’le hug. I know we all get scared when our parents look a little sick. Let alone, when they’re a bit away from Allah’s path. The truth is, just as parents are over protective of us, so are we. In fact, your letter reminded me of Prophet Abrham and his father...remember?

When he (Ibrahim) said to his father: "O my father! Why do you worship that which hears not, sees not and cannot avail you in anything? O my father! Verily, there has come to me of knowledge that which has not come to you. So follow me; I will guide you to a straight path. O my father! Worship not Satan. Verily, Satan has been a rebel against the Most Beneficent (Allah). O my father! Verily, I fear lest a torment from the Most Beneficent (Allaah) overtake you, so that you become a companion of Satan ( in Hell-Fire)." (surat Maryam)

But you know what?

Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala bestowed them with a great gift….YOU! Maybe your purpose here is to help bring them back to the right path Because, yes, Allah is the one who guides people, but He is the One who said:

And admonish thy nearest kinsmen 26: 214

Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance. 16:125

The question is….how?


The verse above tells us the first and most important rule-- invite to Allah by 'wisdom', 'and in a way that is better'. Be gentle and kind.

Be. Show. Do.

Actions are a lot louder than words. Telling them about Islam might not generate much interest- especially if they come from a country where Islamic rules were mixed with ‘strange’ customs. So instead of ‘telling them’ about it, you have to be the best example out there.

The first thing you gotta do is make sure is that you are praying your 5 prayers. The second thing is to let them see you pray them. Involve them, even! You can one day, for example, say that you want to sleep a bit and ask them to wake you up to pray asr- show them how cautious you are about it. Tell them, “Even if it looks like I am really sleepy, wake me up, just like you’d wake me up if I had an airplane flight that I needed to catch. The salah is my flight to paradise, inshaAllah. [FYI: this simile came from Dr. Mohammed Nuh Qudhaa]”

What else? Well, little girl, I’m not sure if you are ‘really a little little girl’ or a little girl the same way I am a little auntie (hehe)…If you really are a little little girl, it’s safe to assume that you don’t drive, and you ask your parents to drive you to places, right? (I hope! Little auntie frowns on underaged children driving…) If that’s the case, ask them every once in a while to stop by at a masjid when you’re coming back from some place (e.g. a friend’s house/ the mall/etc.). You can say “oh, I’m late, we don’t have time to go all the way home—of course, you pick a place that is near the masjid, hehe…or you can also just be frank and say “It’s been a while since I prayed in the mosque. Can we stop a few moments?” They may look at you strangely, maybe make excuses, etc. but if you stay positive, inshaAllah, they may just enter one day and pray with you…

Another thing you can do is read Qu’ran, whether in the living room or some other room that they are bound to ‘enter’. Listen to a beautiful recitation and let the volume be loud enough for them to catch ‘some of it’, inshaAllah. It might pique their curiosity. The best thing also is to have a ‘scheduled’ time- every day at this particular time you read Qur’an…soon, they will get used to that and might even start joining in. If you’re memorizing surahs (and we all should be, hehe), ask them to test you on parts.

On the other hand, if you’re a ‘big little’ girl, and you do drive a car, leave a Qur’an tape/c.d. in the car- so that when they’re driving, they might actually listen to it, themselves! You can also leave ones about Allah’s Beautiful Names, the importance of salah, etc. Nasheeds are another thing you can leave or have playing when they ride with you. (Oh, btw, if you do drive and you sometimes pick them up, we can still use the tactic we said earlier! Only this time, you tell them that you’re going to stop for a few minutes in the mosque…)
Slowly, inshaAllha, you’ll start to get to them…If you’ve got siblings, work with them on this together. If all of you are reading the Qur’an together, memorizing, etc. they are more likely to want to get involved, as well.

You can also leave’ notes and books conveniently around the house for them to find them. Have parts underlined. Put question marks around things that you actually want them to read more up on. Go to the library with them (if they are library people/if they drive you around) and let them see all the books you check out about Islam. If you have Islamic t.v. channels (whether on the t.v. or online), turn them on and leave them running even when you’re not there (they might sit down and listen!)…of course, we do have to consider the environment, though, so little auntie doesn’t mean to ‘waste electricity’ the entire day :P

You can also invite your friends over and ‘discuss’ things within your parent’s earshot. Discuss Allah’s Mercy, discuss hijab, discuss salah, etc.

Actually, it would be really awesome if you could get your parents to make new friends themselves or meet some practicing people their age. If there is any halaqah going on in your community, try and encourage your parents to join. I know that might be easier said than done, lol…what I’m thinking is that maybe, if there’s an event going on in your community, you can tell your mom that you really want to ‘bake some goodies’- could she help you? And then, invite her to come along or maybe tell her everyone loved it and wants to meet her. Another way is if you have friends whose parents are practicing, talk to your friends about ‘introducing your parents’ and getting them to know each other.

Anything else you can do? Well, get even better grades at school. Don’t come home late. That kinda thing…If they ask you ‘what’s happened to you’- always connect this [good] change to Islam. Let them know that this is also part of practicing Islam. You should also do things at home. Clean the house. If you have younger siblings, offer to babysit them and give your parents a break.

Go visit a hospital or an elderly people’s home/ an orphanage, volunteer in a soup kitchen, start a food drive. Let them know that you’re doing this stuff and that you are doing it because Islam teaches us to do that.

Show them that Islam can be fun, too! Go on a picnic with your parents and reflect on the beauty of nature. Let them watch a ‘funny’ video on Islam such as Baba Ali’s renowned Reminder videos. Again, they might have come from an area where they were taught that Islam prohibited everything fun—show them that’s not the case.

You can even try asking your parents a few [simple] questions! You can pretend you are answering some trivia about the Prophets’ lives for example and ask them “which Prophet could talk to the animals”, again? The point is to again, arouse their interest without ‘patronizing them’. You give them a chance to explain something- you might just get them interested in it and they might research it a bit.

Appeal to their emotional side. Give your parents a good night kiss and say something like- “I want to be with you in jannah”…

The most important thing though is to make dua for them. Make lots and lots of dua, especially during the last third of the night.

These are just some suggestions—I hope the readers can provide us with some more! Whatever you do though, do not withdraw from them. This is a big mistake that many practicing people do- that only ends up making them feel that Islam even took their kids away. You should, instead, show a greater interest in their lives….

And inshaAllah, inshaAllah, soon you’ll be racing to keep up with them on your journey to Paradise,
Keep us updated,



p.s. sorry for the long post, my readers :P I know, I know...long, again ;)

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