Grey's Anatomy Addict

I know this might be a silly question but I need to ask it.

For the past year I've been getting more religious, I never miss my prayers, I fast on monday and thursdays, i wear hijab and abbaya, I recite the Quran everyday...but there's one problem. My sister who Mash'Alllah is more religious to me has told me it's not good to watch certain TV shows. Before I became religious I watched the show Grey's Anatomy-- have you heard of it? I love the show :( I stop watching in the middle of the past season, but I think I want to watch season 7...is certain TV shows or ALL TV shows, Haram????? Please help! I don't want to be committing any sins my watching TV.


Sincerely,
Grey's Addict

Dear Grey’s Addict,

MashaAllah! It’s great that you make sure to pray all your prayers, fast extra days, try to dress modestly, and make sure to read Quran everyday! May Allah keep you steadfast :D (and all of us, Ameen!)

But now, our little friend, let’s look at your question... It’s definitely not a silly question.

And you kinda already know the answer.

You know what Big Sis was telling you…you know what that that little voice [inside of you] was telling you….

Yeah, I’m going to tell you the very same thing. While some scholars are under the opinion that images are not acceptable and therefore, television not halal, a majority of scholars tend to say  that it’s not that you can’t watch TV, but what you watch on TV. There are a lot of good shows you can watch- Islamic shows, National Geographic kind of shows, educational shows, documentaries, etc which are perfectly fine to watch. Grey’s Anatomy doesn’t cut it though.

Let me ask you a few questions…. Would you watch this television show with Daddyo sitting down with you? Maybe he’s a relaxed sort of guy and you would, but would you watch this show with the imam of the mosque next to you? Or how about with Prophet Mohammed (sala Allahoo alayhee wa salam) sitting on the couch beside you?

I’m going to tell you the truth. I’ve heard of Grey’s Anatomy but I’ve never watched it. And I couldn’t exactly tell you whether you could/ couldn’t watch something without doing some good research. So I went to my main man…Mr. Google.

And I came upon this lovely site: Wait, don’t click…. I already copied the important stuff. (LOL!)

Messages:
Characters hook up for sexual affairs, cheat on partners, and so on. Some patients' issues delve into sticky topics like drugs and sexism. Diversity among the cast.

Sex:
The show is very focused on the characters' relationships, most of which are sexual in nature. There's plenty of bed-hopping. Some same-sex pairings. While the characters kiss, embrace, and have implied sex, no sensitive body parts are shown.

Don’t worry, girlie, I know you’re not watching it to see those kinda scenes. And I know the show’s storylines are very addictive….seeing the characters every week, it’s easy to feel like you’re part of the family and you want to know what’s going to happen.

That’s why it’s time I tell you the poo poo story.
Also known as the poop story.

No, this is not a bedtime story told to me by grandma.

This is a story that I read once on a website- only the website doesn’t open anymore and I kinda added my own little touch. It’s the story of three tweens who wanted their dad’s permission to watch the latest movie at the cinema. They kept begging their dad to let them go but he just wouldn’t agree. They told him that all of their friends had gone. Sure, it was PG, they admitted, but they weren’t kids and they couldn’t keep watching G movies all their lives. Anyway, they reasoned, there was only subtle sexual hints (no actual scene), a few tinsy winsy vulgur words (but nothing “really bad”), and only one woman didn’t dress that well (but it was a beach scene and it only lasted for like three minutes literally)

Papa said nothing and just calmly walked into the kitchen. The kids didn’t want to say anything. They thought he was going to think about it and thinking that was better than a flat out rejection, they left him alone.

A little later (to be read with a funny accent), Papa knocked on the door with fudge brownies. It smelled like no fudge brownies have ever smelled before. Fudgy and chocolaty and just plain perfect….Ahmed was about to grab a piece and wolf it down when Papa said “I added a little something….a little dog poop.”

That’s when Ahmed dropped the piece. He looked at his dad and Papa explained “When I was making the brownies, I made sure to check the production date of the package, to use the best eggs, and to use our most expensive oil… When I was about to finish, I added a bit of dog poop. Just a tiny tiny tiny amount.”

I think it’s pretty obvious now what we’re talking about here, right? A little bad thing can make something good rotten…

And here we come to the gist of the matter-

If you as a Muslim cannot do the things that you’re watching on t.v, even if it seems ‘like it’s something small’, then, watching shows that have people doing them is also wrong.

The Islamic proof for that? The very famous hadith where the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alayhee wa salam) ordered us to change anything bad we see:

On the authority of Abu Sa`id (Radiya Allah Anhoo) that the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said, “Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” (Muslim)

Ask yourself a question (I think I asked you enough questions, already, so it’s your turn, hehe)- when you watch a show like “Grey’s Anatomy”, are you really changing it?

What about this verse:

“Verily, the hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those you will be questioned (by Allaah).” [al-Israa’ 17:36]

Do you, sweetheart, remember what happened in the 3rd episode of the 5th season? Can you tell me every single thing that was said/done, if you watched that episode?
Can you remember all that? Now, I chose a random number which maybe you do actually remember, lol, but the point is, do you remember every single episode you watched?

Because as this verse explains, you are going to be held accountable for all that you watched and heard…all!

Do you really want to stand in front of Allah and have Him ask you why you were watching a woman/man ‘pursue adultery’, something that Islamically would deserve a very strict punishment and that upsets Allah?

The other thing you should keep in mind is that:

“….The eye commits zinaa [fornication] and its zinaa is looking. The tongue commits zinaa and its zinaa is speaking; the feet commit zinaa and their zinaa is walking; the hands commit zinaa and their zinaa is touching. The heart longs and desires for something and the private parts confirm that or deny it.” [Saheeh Bukhari 6343]

You see how serious that is?!

Finally, one last verse: Say: the things that my Lord hath indeed forbidden are: shameful deeds, whether open or secret…(7:33)

Aren’t many of the things on the show ‘shameful’?

So is that? Are we going to leave you with that? Of course not! Here are few tips though to make sure you don’t end up succumbing to temptation and watching Grey’s Anatomy again ...

Since your wonderful big sister told you that you shouldn’t watch it, tell her that you are officially quitting again and recruit her as your ‘No Watching Grey’s Anatomy Officer’.

Schedule an activity at the time that it’s aired. I know that it probably comes on late at night, so you most likely cannot ‘go out’, but be sure to be away from the television. (For our other readers who haven’t tried ‘quitting watching it or some other show before’, you can do the same thing. )

If you have a t.v. in your own private room, it’s moving day for it :P You want to watch TV in front of everyone so that you don’t get tempted to watch anything a little inappropriate.)

Try watching more Islamic shows if possible- you can even substitute the time you used to watch it with an Islamic show. If you don’t have Islamic t.v. channels, check out: http://www.islamchannel.tv/ Or http://www.huda.tv/ .

Try ‘closing your eyes’ for 15 minutes or turning off all the lights in the house and sitting in total darkness for a little bit. Now think about the blessing of eye sight. Ask yourself, does it really show true gratitude to Allah to ‘watch’ a show that contains things he has prohibited? Does that show that you are thankful for your eyes?

Paste a small little paper next to where the t.v. is or on top of it that says something like: “Allah is with Me. Allah sees all that I do.”

If you are a fan on facebook or something like that, become an ‘unfan’. If you and your best friend used to watch it and talk about it together, let her know that you’ve quit and that you really don’t want her to tell you updates or anything that will ‘hook’ you again. (While you’re at it, try and explain why you quit so she does, too.)

Since you already ‘fast’ Monday and Thursday, this one is for our other readers who haven’t quit before…try fasting more (hey, Ramadan is coming anyways!). Fasting teaches you discipline and most of us have it engrained in us that when we’re fasting, we don’t ‘watch’ anything ‘bad’

Make sincere dua to Allah to help you. Remember this:

"Some faces that Day (the Day of Judgment) shall beam (in brightness and beauty). Looking at their Lord (Allah - SWT)"(Al-Qiyamah - 22-23).

“When the inhabitants of Jannah enter Jannah, Allah will ask them all, ‘Is there anything more that I can give you?’ They will say, ‘Have you not illuminated our faces? Have you not entered us into Jannah? Have you not saved us from Hellfire?’

“Then Allah will uncover the veil (and all shall see Allah). After that moment there would be nothing more beloved to them than seeing their Lord" (Bukhari and Muslim).

Yes, on the Day of Judgment and in Jannah, inshaAllah, the believers will see Allah!!

The way I see it is this: The eyes that long to see Allah, should not fall on anything that would displease Him. The ears that want to hear Him say “Salaam” should not listen to anything that would anger Him.

InshaAllah, inshaAllah, if you do all that, it'll be easier to overcome your addiction and you will be among those who see Allah!

Oh, and remember, The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told his close companion: “By Allah! Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better than it!”

When you give it up....you're going to get something really great, inshaAllah. Yallah, you can do this. We believe in you!

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Is Everything Haram?!

Is everything haraam?? Is there anything that we can do?

Anonymous

Dear A non mouse!

My amigo, I so know what you mean. There are some grown-ups out there (okay, fine, people my age, even) who can really make you feel like everything is the ‘h’ word…H.A.R.A.A.M.

But the truth couldn’t be any further! Well actually, it could, if we change the ‘h’ word into the other ‘h’ word- H.A. L.A. A. L. One of the fundamental rules of fiqh, actually, is that….

*Get READY FOR ThiS*

‘Everything’ (outside of worship) is halal except when there’s proof that it’s haram (e.g. textual proof in the Qur’an, sunnah, or what can be derived by analogy as proof).

Does that mean you can go and do anything you want to do? Err. Nope. This rule isn’t a license to do whatever you want- it just lets you realize that Allah intends for you ease. Most things are halal. The exceptions are the haram things, not the other way around.

Let’s do a little fun exercise. Let’s list something that is haraam and some things in the same category that aren’t haraam. Does that sound fair to you?

Category: Drinks
Haram:

Alcohol (wine, beer, etc.)


Halal:

• Water
• Milk
• Lemonade
• Juices (Apple juice, Orange juice, Cranberry juice, Mango juice, Carrots and Orange juice- just checkin’ if you’re still reading this and btw, this really is a juice!)
• Milkshakes (strawberry milkshake, chocolate milkshake, etc.)
• Tea
• Coffee (Cappuccino, espresso, mocha, etc.)
• Sparkling water
• Mountain Dew,
• 7 Up,
• Coke,
• The list goes on!

You see how long the halaal list is compared to the haraam list?

It’s like when Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala told Adam and Hawa that they could eat from wherever they wanted, except from that one tree…We have pretty much the same thing. We can do most/many things, except some small things…

And even then, sometimes we can do those things, themselves, just ‘in a specific context’. Huh, you say? Haha, I say! Yes, some things that are ‘haram’ are actually not ‘haram’ in themselves…for example, ‘wearing make-up’ is not haram if it’s done in an area where only girls/mahrams are (like home, etc.), sex’ is not haraaameitherbutpleasecontinuereadinganddon’tstoprightthereoryou’re going to get me in big trouble with the big aunties for writing this, LOL.

But really, it isn’t haraam, so long as it’s within ‘the marriage context’.

In fact, Islamically, we believe that within that context, it can actually yield you a reward or ajr!

The fact that you get a reward for it obviously demonstrates then, it’s not ‘sex’ itself which is haram. It’s sex outside of marriage that is haram, whether we’re talking about pre-marital sex or adultery.

The truth is, when we look at this example that sex is haram when it’s outside of marriage but rewarded when it’s inside the marriage, we realize something clearly. Allah has forbidden for us or made haram for us that which is (I’m using this word on purpose, haha) harmful for us. By forbidding it outside of marriage, He has protected us from catching diseases, having illegitimate children with no right to inheritance, no clue who their father is, broken families, etc.

We can understand this even more when we consider this ayah:

"O you who believe! Give your response to God and His Messenger, when He calls you to that which will give you life." [A-Anfal 24] 

The things that He has told us to do and the things He has told us not to do are for our own benefit. They are what ‘give us life’.

Now, I know that right now you’re a teen and that you were asking about being able to ‘do’ things….
The truth is, there are plenty of things that you can do!

We’ve got to be creative and think of alternatives.
Let’s say the people around us ‘go out to clubs and drink a few drinks’. We obviously don’t do that! But we can meet up with friends in coffee cafes. What’s the harm in that?

What about going on picnics with friends?

Going to the beach might be a bit hard- what with all the nakey people- but how about going to an all girl’s gym (if you’re a girl, obviously :P). Playing basketball with your friends/soccer?

If a friend of yours has an in-door pool (okay, we can dream :D), what’s the problem with swimming?

What about reading? Not all books revolve around ‘bad or forbidden things’!

What about inviting some friends over and cooking together? It can be a lot of fun- choose a recipe, go out and buy the groceries together, come home and cook! (Gee, first I talk about drinks and now I talk about food. I sound obsessed with ‘eating’, n this post. It might just be cause I am, lol).

We don’t get tattoos but we have henna. We don’t listen to music but we listen to ‘islamic nasheeds’. Again, alternatives, alternatives, alternatives.

The fact is, don’t limit yourself to the things your ‘friends’ do. Think outside of the box. And if your "friends" are going out to do some haram things, have a back up plan ready. Get to know some Muslim girls from the Masjid. You don’t need to hang out with only people from your school.

I will say though that sometimes, it is going to be hard. And this world is going to seem like a….

Prison.


That’s cause that’s what it is for believers.

Prophet Muhammad (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said, ‘The world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for the disbeliever.” [Sahih Muslim Kitaab Az-Zuhd]

Our paradise awaits for us…

Stay strong! You can do it!

I believe in you,

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