>> Friday, May 6, 2011
I'm in a bit of conffuzling situation. I have gotten a proposal from a good brother, alhamdullah. He is from a practicing family and he is well known in the community. There are a few small differences though that we have that are making my family scared from accepting, but for the most, I'm willing to overlook them because I think deen is the most important thing, inshaAllah. Well, my problem is that I prayed istikharah and I didn't have any dreams or anything that showed me what to do. My mother says she had a bad dream, though. Do I take that as a sign? What counts when it comes to istikharah. I'm very confused.
I had the biggest smile when I read your e-mail. You know why?
It is not necessary in the case of istikhaarah to feel something specific afterwards. Rather if you consult people and think deeply about the matter, and it becomes clear to you that this matter will be beneficial both in religious and worldly terms, then you should pray istikhaarah and go ahead, and not wait for a sign or a dream or a feeling. You should rather put your trust in Allaah and go ahead after praying istikhaarah.
All in all- don't refuse him, yet!
Why don't you tell your mom something like "OKay, mom, I see that you're worried. How about you tell me some questions you want me to ask him when we formally meet (with the wali present of course :P)?" Since he is well known in the community, why don't you ask some people about his good qualities/ bad qualities/ etc.? No need to get too hasty. Do some research =)
I hope inshaAllah things go well for you. The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam did tell us:
If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil."(Reported by At-Tirmidhi and others and classed asHasan)
May Allah give you what is best for you and who is best for your deen, dunya, and aakhirah! May He let the marriage happen if it is best for you =)
Lots of love,
(Icon from Easel and Ink :D the link is on the side of the blog)