>> Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Dearest Little Auntie. First off, let me start of by saying that I love you guys so much for the sake of Allah!! <3 alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, you guys absolutely, totally rock. :D
Well my problem is (as all problems are :P) kind of confusing. I have always been a high achiever. Alhamdulillah. Ever since my 10th grade, I have been soaring high with my grades mashaAllah. I topped my high school examination, and I got into one of the top medical schools of my country, also acing that test. And now THAT'S become my real problem. I can't seem to want to "stop," I keep wanting to go for more. I work hard to get good grades, I feel as if Allah SWT expects me to be a great doctor since he has blessed me with a good brain, and that if I fall even a little short of that standard, He will not be pleased. Then I look at the other side of the picture: I am a woman, and I will be married some day, I will be answerable if I compromise my family life and do not give my children enough time because of being a doctor! It's driving me insane, all these thoughts. Also, I want to get rid of the "competitiveness" that is growing inside me. All the times in medicine we read just how much stress is bad for your body, and I end up taking so much stress. I make a conscious effort to realize that I am doing whatever I am doing for Allah. Yet I believe my competitiveness ends up overwhelming my efforts to realize I want to please Allah, and that I am becoming a doctor for Him, to save the life of one person, which Allah says is equivalent to saving the entire Humanity. Please help. JazakAllah for hearing me out! <3<3
Not wanting to get too high!
Just one more thing. I promise! For those of you who are obsessed with their >4.0 GPA's (I used to be one of them :P), as I said before, please breathe. Just inhale...and exhale. It's okay, I promise you, your life won't be over if you don't graduate as valedictorian or get that full-ride scholarship or get a 36 on your ACT. You'll still get into a good college, inshaAllah. And seriously, don't expect to excel at everything. That's a recipe for disaster. You'll only end up disappointing yourself. You will fail at times, I promise you. :P No, really, you will. Just try your best and leave the rest up to Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala). Rely on Him. Just don't get too focused on your studies that you forget to have fun if you're in high school. Come on, guys, it's high school! Have some fun! Get to know your teachers. Play pranks on them (harmless ones, haha). Skip class (I'm kidding! In college, yes, but not in high school.) Join organizations. It's also a great time for you to grow socially.
Whatever choices you have to make, just remember to pray istikharah and seek advice and naseehah from others. Both are from the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammah (salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam), so they should definitely help you out. :)
I hope this post helped to answer and alleviate some of your concerns, inshaAllah!