Half of One's Deen.

>> Saturday, June 11, 2011

Do Muslims have to get married?
B.T.

Dear BT,

Do Muslims HAVE to get married?

I know that unfortunately today, there are a LOT of Muslim girls who are wary of marriage because of backward cultural ‘customs’ they've seen in certain marriages. It doesn’t help that some Muslim parents keep telling their daughters things like “Oh, you can’t cook. You’re such a disgrace. What will your in-laws do with you/ what will your husband do with you?” Etc. etc. –making marriage seem a lot like serving a sentence in jail…and being all cooped up and all. :( 

The reality is that  when both partners are well-informed of Islam, their obligations and rights, marriage is not so bad. It is hard work, but Islamically, husbands and wives should be garments for each other, protecting each other and caring for each other.

Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala also states:
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect”
[al-Room 30:21]

But anyways, on to your question =)

Let’s take a look at what the scholars have to say. This is quoted from Islam Q&A:

You should note that people are not all the same when it comes to marriage. The basic principle that marriage, which was the way of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), is prescribed, applies to all people, but it may be more important in the case of some people than others.


Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

With regard to marriage, people are of three types:

1 – Some fear that they may fall into haraam things if they do not get married. Such a person has toget married, according to the majority of fuqaha’, because he has to keep himself chaste and protect himself against doing haraam things, and the way to do that is getting married.

2 – For some it is mustahabb. This is the one who feels desire but there is no danger of his falling into haraam. It is better for him to get married than to devote himself to naafil acts of worship. This is the view of ashaab al-ra’y and it is the view of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them and their deeds).

3 – Those who have no desire, either because they were not created with any desire, such as one who is impotent, or they had desire but it has disappeared due to old age, sickness and so on. There are two opinions:

(i) It is mustahabb to get married because of the general meaning of what we havediscussed.
(ii) Remaining single is better for him because he cannot achieve the purpose of marriage, and he would be preventing his wife from becoming chaste by marrying someone else. And he would be harming her by keeping her for himself, and he is exposing himself to obligations and duties that perhaps he cannot fulfil, and he is distracting himself from seeking knowledge and worship with something that is of no benefit to him.

[Remember]

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:

Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim (1401).

Taken from here

And also:

The benefits of marriage are many. They include: protecting one’s religion and helping one to adhere to it; protecting and taking care of women; and producing offspring and increasing the ranks of the ummah, thus achieving the pride of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), etc. And here

Think about it. With marriage, you can have a family.....and inshaAllah if you raise them well, they could be the very next Salah Ad-Din :)

ETA- that doesn't mean that you marry the first guy or you just get married because of cultural expectations. It means that you do NOT rule out marriage and that you are willing to get married to the right guy :)

Lots of love,



6 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Lavendarclouds June 11, 2011 at 6:36 PM  

This was a very well written, to the point post :) thanks ladies for the info!

Minji June 13, 2011 at 12:19 AM  

Jazaki Allaho khairan=) i think i should transliate this soon..

Iqra,  June 13, 2011 at 9:28 AM  

I had to smile at your description of how parents describe marriage, because it's very true.

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