>> Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I'm in need of advice.
I've stopped watching tv,Alhumdulillah.. All the good things i do now i owe it to Allah.. like I read 5 times..started wearing hijab, alhumdulillah, I dont listen to music anymore, etc etc.. But suddenly I've got addicted like crazy to internet!! Like BADLY!!! It's not like I do anything bad .. I just read updates from islamic pages on fb.. I read articles on all other islamic blogs and sites I come across..! But i'm doing this in excess.. like now I shud be studying for my exam tmrw .. but instead im here on net .. and i just cant seem to get myself off it! I've spent hours since morning on net!! I'm hating it..! I'm delaying my prayers coz of it.. and I feel if I dont work on it asap .. It'l spoil my relationship with Allah!! .. And then i cant think of anything that I can do without the internet .. which will keep my day productive.. I dont go out either! I do nothing .. I just eat and open my laptop and surf surf and surf net!! It's getting on my nerves but i just CANT seem to get over this addiction..! What do I do? How else can I keep myself closer to Allah?..and What can I do to get over this! I was recently hired for a islamic website too as a writer now I am all the more worried that i'll have more reasons to sit on net.. and u know my addiction might increase! What can I do to keep my surfing on net productive.. even though it is prod now since all i do is read islamic stuff etc.. but I dont know.. It doesnt seem right!!.. I log in and log on million times unnecessarily!! Because of this I dont do anything else during the day!! UGH! Please advice!! and pray for me!!!
I couldnt find any similar question or may be I missed out on something.. if any similar question is already answered please direct me to the link!
I just want to say that I’m very proud of you! Sounds like you’ve really been working on improving, yourself. It’s great to hear that you have begun praying 5 times and wearing hijaab. And it’s equally impressive that you’ve stopped watching TV and listening to music. Seriously, you should be proud of yourself. May Allah keep you steadfast and may He continue to guide you to what He loves.
About the Internet….It’s great to hear that you enjoy surfing Islamic sites. And I know how hard it can be to get off once you log on! But the truth is that surfing Islamic sites is not the only way to strengthen your relationship with Allah. That’s only one way. Sitting down at home in front of a laptop all day is definitely not good for your body. And I’m pretty sure your family misses you….Not to mention the fact that your prayers are starting to be affected.
Alhamdullila, you recognize all of this and just want a little push in the right direction.
The first thing you need to do is to remind yourself that Islam is a very practical religion and it recognizes that just like we have rights, Allah has rights over us, our bodies have rights over us, and our families have rights over us.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once asked a companion:
"(Is it true) that you fast all day and stand in prayer all night?" The companion replied that the report was indeed true. The Prophet then said: "Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave (it) at other times. Stand up for prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you." - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Hadith 127
Second of all, you need to try to brainstorm of other ways to get closer to Allah. Right now, you're suffering from what I call the laptop crutch, where you are using the laptop as your means to becoming a better Muslim. But you don't need your laptop! Just remember that.
Here are some ways I thought up of that you can do (and remember, I want you to try these methods without the LAPTOP):
- Reading Quran and its tafseer
(Ibn Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Whoever recites a letter from the Book of Allah, he will be credited with a good deed, and a good deed gets a ten-fold reward. I do not say that Alif-Lam-Mim is one letter, but Alif is a letter, Lam is a letter and Mim is a letter.'')
- Making dhikr. There are so many hadiths about the excellence of dhikr.
For example: Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “He who uttered these words: There is no god but Allah, the One, having no partner with Him. Sovereignty belongs to Him and all the praise is due to Him, and He is Potent over everything" one hundred times every day there is a reward of emancipating ten slaves for him, and there are recorded hundred virtues to his credit, and hundred vices are blotted out from his scroll, and that is a safeguard for him against the Satan on that day till evening and no one brings anything more excellent than this, except one who has done more than this (who utters these words more than one hundred times and does more good acts) and he who utters: Glory be to Allah, and all praise is due to Him, one hundred times a day, his sins are obliterated even if they are equal to the extent of the foam of the ocean.
3. Fasting extra days.
The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Allah said: ‘Every deed of the son of Adam is for him except fasting; it is for Me and I shall reward for it…’” [Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]4. Making dua :
“And when My servants ask Thee (O’ Prophet) about Me, then verily I am near, I answer the prayer (Dua) of the supplicant when he beseeches unto Me. So let them hear My call, and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright.” S. 2: 186Think about the fact that no matter how many articles you read, none of the writers know your exact history/ your sins. Only you and Allah know, so turn directly to Him and talk directly to Him. Don't let the laptop or any daee be your intermediary between you and Allah. The more you talk to Allah directly, the better your relationship with Him.
5. Working on your relationship with your parents.
Prophet Mohammed (sallah Allah alayhee wa salaam) said: “The pleasure of the Lord is the pleasure of a parent, and the wrath of the Lord is the wrath of a parent.”6. Trying to help someone else: (I think you even posted this before here...)
Abû Hurayrah relates that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever removes one of the hardships of a believing soul, Allah will remove from him one of the distresses on the Hereafter. Whoever solves someone else's problem, Allah will make things easy for him in this world and the Hereafter… Allah is ever assisting His servant as long as that servant is helping his brother.” [Sahîh Muslim (4867)]
So as you can see, there are a lot of other ways to get closer to Allah. What you need to try to do is to make sure that you’re using the Internet productively, as you said. To do that, there are a couple of steps.
- Number One: Decide that you are going to go online only after you have finished most of your school work. This is also a good idea so that you don’t keep checking the same links/ sites endlessly. That’s not really that productive. Instead, decide that you are only going to check the sites one time. Make some kind of reward/ punishment system so that you stick to it.
- Number Two: You need to give yourself a time limit and stick to it. You said that you were hired as a writer on an Islamic site. It would be a good idea to ask the admin about how much time they expect you to spend and how many pieces will you have to write. Two and a half hours a day might be a good number to start off with. With a time limit, you’ll prioritize and look at the things that really interest you. To stick to the limit, think about asking a parent/ sibling to remind you when time is up. You could even shut your laptop or computer. If that’s not your thing, you can check out some programs like EzInternet Timer or TimeUpKidz, though they cost money.
- Number Three: Try to get active at your local masjid. Think about joining a Quran halaqa. Or if you want, you could try to get a group of girls together. Every week, you could read from a tafseer together. Or how about creating an Islamic book club? You guys could recommend good Islamic books and lend them to each other. It’s important that you start meeting other practicing people besides our online friends and that you get out of the house every once in a while. (I’d even suggest having some sort of daily exercise plan)
Finally, check out this link to learn more about being addicted to the Internet:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm (And yes, I do see the irony of telling yo to check a site out, lol). inshaAllah also, our readers can help a bit, too :)
Lots of love,