Meet the Final Prophet.

hey i muslim girl
i just wanted to share this one thing
when i told my mom she told my dad
and now i have a black eye and a broken arm
umm i am a muslim girl
but i Don't like Mohammad // im sorry i just dont like his teaching
i dnt like how he married a 9 year old and how he beat his wife/wives.. i don't like how sexist he was.. i hate how he made islam about him and not Allah
I am really sowi but thats just how i feel.. i am so sorry

but umm can I be a muslim and not relate to muhammad but love Allah ?
i sowi but even after being hurt i dnt "like" him

Dear Sister,

Before I answer your concerns, let me ask you a question :) Or actually many questions :D

What if I told you about a man who even though he was super busy and even though he came from an extremely macho society (we’re talking about a society where people thought women were things that you owned or buried alive) would actually help his wife in the house and even stitch/mend his own clothes? What if I told you that this man would watch his wife drink so that he could place his lips on the exact same place when it was his turn? Not only that but this man would listen to his wife- truly listen when she would talk, would joke with her, even race her. He never hit his wife and he openly declared his love for her in front of everyone?

But this man wasn’t just a wonderful husband. What if I told you that he was a loving father and grandfather…he used to always stand up and kiss his daughter when she’d enter the room? He would carry his granddaughter and even hold her while he was praying. And he’d love to let his grandchildren sit on his back while he’d carry them. He used to ‘play’ with the other kids, too, playfully splashing them with water.

This man’s compassion wasn’t limited to his family and children, though. He cared about everyone. Like the fact that he never once asked his servant for ten years why he had done something or why he hadn’t done something. Ten years. 3,600 days or so…

And you know the saying to give someone the shirt off your back? This man was like that. Even though he didn’t have that much clothes at all, he was extremely generous. He was always giving away his things in charity. In fact, one day, he came out dressed in a new ‘shawl’. A friend of his saw him wearing it and actually told him to give it to him. So this man went back to his house, took it off, and gave it to him. Just like that.

What else?

What if I told you that this man was also the “leader”/ “president” of the country and, yet, he never acted like some ‘mighty king’? You know how today they whenever a King/royalty/ president comes into a room, people stand up for them? Well, he never liked that. He didn’t want people to stand up for him or treat him differently. Instead, he would sit with servants and the poor. He would help the orphans and widows. He knew the ‘poor people’ of his followers…actually knew them and cared about each one!

When his people were digging a trench for a battle that was taking place, this man didn’t just stand there, watching them do all the work. He got down and dug and dug- until his chest was covered with dirt.

How many presidents are like that today? Can you name me a single one that would do that? Work alongside his people in the dirt….?

What if I told you that this man used to keep all the valuables of his people? They trusted him- just like how we put things in a bank, they put their stuff in his house. Yet, the people got angry with him just because he told them to worship God. So they decided to kill him. This man had to leave his city in the middle of the night, and yet, even though he knew that his people were plotting to kill him, he made sure that there were arrangements in place for the people to get back their valuables and things. He didn’t think “Haha, I got all their stuff. I’m outta here. They deserve it since they want to kill me!” He didn’t think that, at all.

Yes, this man cared about everyone, animals included. Once, on a journey, somebody picked up some bird's two little chickies. The mother bird was 'devastated' and she kept circling the air, beating its wings in grief. This man noticed the mother bird's grief and wanted to know who had separated the bird from its offspring? Yes, this man cared about the feelings of a bird :)

Children, animals, poor, orphans, needy....

I’m not talking about some superstar. Or some hero from a movie. I’m talking about Prophet Mohammed.

I know that you said that when you asked your parents about him, they ‘hit you’. You know what?

Prophet Mohammed was way more patient than your parents and much more understanding. Imagine asking your dad permission to go have sex with someone. What would your mother do? What about your father?

Well, you know what the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam did? While everyone else was ‘rebuking’ the young man who asked for permission to do zina, the Prophet sallah allahoo alyhaee wa salam calmly sat him down and talked to him about it- he asked him some questions so that the young man concluded that sex out of marriage was not appropriate. But not only did the Prophet talk to him ever so calmly and gently, the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam put his hand on his chest and made sincere dua for him. How many teachers or Imams do that today? Would our own parents do that? Make dua for us? Or would they slap us silly if we were to ask them such a question?

What if your parents saw you checking out a handsome man or saw your brother checking out a beautiful woman in Mecca- of all places- during Hajj (of all times)? The prophet didn’t scream at him “It’s HaJJ. LOWER your gaze”. He didn’t ‘freak out’. He just gently turned the Companion’s face away.

And the thing is, what you said about Prophet Mohammed being sexist? And beating his wives? That's completely not true. I have to ask where have you been doing your research? And he NEVER made Islam all about himself? That's completely NOT true.

He said, "Don't commend me as Christians commend Jesus the son of Marry. But say about me, the servant and the messenger of Allah." (Muslim)
The companions of Prophet Muhammad used to stay sitting when he come because they know how he feels bad when they stand for him. (Tirmidhi)
Once a newcomer to his gathering was filled with awe and anxiety. When he detected this, the Prophet said to the person, 'Please relax and be at ease! I am not a great monarch. I am only a son of a lady who ate cured meat.' (Ibn Majah)

You have to realize something. It was Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala who chose prophet Mohammed to be a prophet. Don't you think Allah is the Wisest and Knows who should be a prophet? If you truly love Allah, then you should accept His decision that Prophet Mohammed be the last Prophet.

 In fact, we love the Prophet because Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala told us to!

"The Prophet is preferable for the believers even to their own selves..." (33:6)

Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwelling in which you delight are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and striving hard and fighting in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His Decision (torment). [(9): 24]

This was Allah’s Command. 

"You have indeed a good example in the Messenger of Allah (SAAW) for whosoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much." [Al-Ahzab: 21].
"It is not for any believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger) have decreed a matter, to have the choice in their affair. And whosoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger (SAAW) he has gone astray into manifest error." [Al-Ahzab: 36]. 

If you really want to do research on the Prophet, sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, the best place to start is the Qur'an or Allah's words. Because at the end of the day- who are you going to believe? People or Allah? 


Allah says that the Prophet had the best manners:
 And indeed, you are of a great moral character. (4) 

I also really need you to check this earlier post we wrote out 'loving and obeying the Prophet":

And..... have you read our article on women? Because, the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was actually described by a few historians as being one of the first 'feminists' (in the sense that he promoted equality between the sexes). The prophet was a champion of women's rights.....
http://dearlittleauntie.blogspot.com/2011/01/fairer-sex.html

And it wasn't like it was 'just talk'...the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam practiced what he preached:

Aisha said, "Prophet Muhammad used to stitch his clothes, milk the goats and help in the chores inside the house.' (Bukhari and Muslim)

He didn't say "That's women's work. That's beneath me". He helped in the house, sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam. He also asked his wives, like Umm Salama, their opinion on important matters. He didn't think that women's opinions were 'less valid' then 'men's'...

He was also very much against 'women beating' and as we said before, he never ever hit his wives. When his wife Aisha Radiya Allah Anha was 'accused' of infidelity (zina), he didn't slap her or beat her or anything of that sort. You know what he did? He simply told her:

“Thereafter, O ‘Aisha! I have been informed such and such a thing about you; and if you are innocent, Allah will reveal your innocence, and if you have committed a sin, then ask for Allah’s forgiveness and repent to Him, for when a worshiper of Allah confesses his sin and then repents to Allah, Allah accepts his repentance”.

Can you imagine? The Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told Aisha Radiya Allah Anha that even if she had betrayed him ( Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) and had done such an act, all she had to do was sincerely repent to Allah and ask for forgiveness. Again, 'no beating'....

OKay....you've read all that, but you still don't 'connect' to the Prophet?

Let's work on that, okay :)

You know how earlier I told you that Prophet Mohammed cared about the poor people of his followers? Well, let me share with you a story:

- A black woman - or a young black man- used to sweep al-Masjid al-Nabawi. When the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa saalm) did not see her (him) for a while, he asked about her (or him).  “She (he) died,” they told him. “Why did not you inform me?” said the Prophet. The companions did not attach importance to her (him). “Show me her (his) grave,” continued the Prophet. They showed him the grave. He prayed for him/her.

You might think 'Yeah, so what? I"m not impressed". Well the thing is, it’s easy for us to read these things- but when we apply to them to what happens today, we realize how special the Prophet was. Imagine the president of the country praying for a 'simple' janitor or ‘maid’? Actually noticing that person wasn’t there anymore? From all the people he talked to and knew?

I'm sure you've also heard of how merciful the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was...Like how he forgave the Qurayshis even after all the years they mocked, tortured him and plotted against him.

But let me give you another specific story:

Have you heard of the man Abdullah bin Ubai? He was one of the leaders of the hypocrites in Madinah. He did everything he could to undermine the prophet's authority. Like when the Muslims were going to the battle of Uhud, just before they reached Uhud, he convinced 300 out of the 1,000 Muslims (almost a third of the army!) to go back!

Later on, he was quoted as saying an Arabic saying which is like: Feed your dog, one day it shall eat you. You know, you continue to feed your dog, make it grow large, huge, strong, and ferocious and one day your dog will pounce on you and devour you. He was referring to the Muslims of Makkah being like dogs-istagfirAllah.

So why do I bring him up? Because of what happened after he died.

Narrated Hadrat Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him): When 'Abdullah bin 'Ubai died, his son 'Abdullah came to Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) and asked him to give him his shirt in order to shroud his father in it. He gave it to him and then 'Abdullah asked the Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) to offer the funeral prayer for him (his father). Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) got up to offer the funeral prayer for him. Sayyidina 'Umar got up too and got hold of the garment of Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) and said, "O Allah's Messenger! Will you offer the funeral prayer for him though your Lord has forbidden you to offer the prayer for him ?" Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said, "But Allah has given me the choice by saying:-

'Whether you ask forgiveness for them, or do not ask forgiveness for them; even if you ask forgiveness for them seventy times never will Allah forgive them. That is because they disbelieved in Allah and His Messenger, and Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people..' (9:80)

So I will ask more than seventy times." 

Sayyidina 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "But he (Abdullah bin 'Ubai) is a hypocrite!" However, Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) did offer the funeral prayer for him! (Later, though Allah revealed that we should not pray for the hypocrites).

But what am I getting at here? Prophet Mohammed never repaid 'meanness' with meanness. I mean, look how angry we get when someone 'backbites' us and pretends to be our friend. What do we do, right? This guy was a million times worse than someone backbiting us- he was a leader of the hypocrites who tried every chance they could to destroy Islam, yet the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, out of his mercy, prayed for him.

How else was the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam so extraordinary?

Let me give you another scenario. Imagine you're sitting down at a dinner table with the King of a country. He's sitting next to a little boy (on his right) and next to him on his left are 'elderly men'. Do you think the King would even bother with the little boy? That he would ask permission from him to let the 'elderly men' drink first? Well, the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam did that:

"Do you mind if I give the drink to them?’ The young boy said: ‘O Prophet of God! By God! I would not prefer anyone to drink from the place you drank. This is my fair share.’ The Messenger of God (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) handed the boy the drink." (Bukhari #2319)

What about the fact that the Prophet was so easy-going?

There was a companion named Abdullah who really loved the Prophet and loved to present him with gifts like 'butter and honey'. The funny thing is that when the seller demanded payment, Abdullah would bring the seller to the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhae wa salam and say: “Give this man its price."

The Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, would then say: “Didn’t you give it to me as a gift?”Abdullah would say: “Yes, O Messenger of God; however I cannot afford to pay.” The two of them would laugh together and then the Prophet would have the merchant paid.

And you know what? Abdullah actually had a bit of a drinking problem. One day, when Abdullah was leaving from having the punishment of drinking done to him, one of the Companion’s declared about Abdullah: “O God curse him! How often he is summoned for this!”

The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salm rebuked that Companion, saying: “Do not curse him, for I swear by God, if you only knew just how very much indeed he loves God and His Messenger.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari).

What else? Well, I think it's important that you hear him talk...Just listen to some of his sayings, Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam

- “The best perfect believers are the best in conduct and the best of you are those who are best to their wives” (Ahmed)

- “He who strives to serve a widow and a poor person is like the one who strives in Allah's way."

- "God has sent me to perfect good manners and to do good deeds." (Bukhari & Ahmed)

- “Allah is gentle and loves gentleness. He gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness, nor for anything else.” [Muslim] In another hadith, he says, “He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of good.” [Muslim]

- “If a man loves his brother in faith, he should tell him that he loves him.”[Abu Dawud]

- "I start the prayer with the intention of lengthening it, but when I hear a child crying, I shorten the prayer, as I know its mother would suffer from his screams!" (Bukhari #677)

In all honesty, there is soooooooooooo much more that we can write about the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, but there just isn't any time and I didn't want to delay replying to this anymore...


My question for you though is how can you love him when you don't really know him? 

And sister, I leave you with some final thoughts. You've written several comments on this blog and you've mentioned that you 'don't like to follow all the rules"....Well sis, I have to ask you this question and I mean it in the nicest way possible: then who is turning Islam into their own religion? Prophet Mohammed sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam didn't turn Islam into a religion about him. He was chosen by Allah to be an example for us-- when we choose to ignore the example and follow our own 'desires'/opinions on religion, then we're saying that Allah made a 'mistake' and din't know who to pick as a prophet...istagfirAllah. We're also telling Allah that we don't want to worship Allah the way He wants. We're saying that we want to worship Him the way we want...and it doesn't really make sense for the 'created' to decide how to worship the Creator, does it?

I pray that you do not take this message harshly and realize that I honestly do care about you. I know you think I'm against 'happiness" and 'everything nice/ and good' but I'm really not. I think it's such a shame if you were to lose out on knowing the real Prophet Mohammed...

Please do keep in touch with us.

Little Auntie and Little Miss Aunty

p.s. we've already also addressed his marriage to Aisha radiya Allah Anha.

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Draw Prophet Mohammed Day.

What is your response going to be for Draw Prophet Muhammed day?

Asalamu aliakuam!

Good question. I completely forgot about that. I don't think there's too much hype about it this year but my response will be the same response as last year.

Allow me to draw you a picture of him.....by putting up his quotes.

(These animations were created by Little Miss Aunty and I. Please feel more than free to pass them around.)

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the Prophet's Marriage to Aisha

In the last post, we explained that the Prophet’s marriages to all of his wives were all decided upon and decreed by Allah who in His Infinite Wisdom chose these ladies to be the Mothers of the Believers (Radiya Allah Anhum).

That said, many people have questions regarding one particular marriage of the Prophet- his marriage with Aisha. So how do we address this?

To start off, we have to remind people that whenever we look at a different culture or a different time period, we need to remove our own social prejudices. It’s not something easy to do, but it needs to be done. As Sheik Hamza Yusuf said, we need to try our best not to superimpose our own traditions and what’s acceptable in our cultures onto other cultures.

Now, let’s try to look at the Prophet’s marriage to Aisha. First of all, we know this happened a long time ago, right? Hmmm...let's go back to around 300 years ago, or even less than that...In 1770, that was around 250 years ago, the father of Chemistry, Antoine Lavoisier married his 13 year old bride, Marie Anne Paulze. In 1876, the then 49 year old British artist named George Frederic Watts married 16 year old Ellen Terry....These examples were just a few centuries ago. Now, let's go back to more than 1,400 years ago!  Did you know that before the Prophet proposed to Aisha, she had already had another suitor and had been previously engaged? Clearly, then, she was considered old enough to get married. This is hardly surprising especially considering the fact the life span of people was much shorter than today- probably around 60 years if not much less (when you consider all of the wars and such). Childhood just did not last that long. Early on, children were given serious responsibilities. (This still happens today in pre-industrial societies). Thus, whereas, today, a nine year old girl would be considered a child, one thousand and four hundred years ago, she would not have been considered a child, especially if she had had her first menstrual cycle. She would have been considered a woman.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. Let’s look at how people 1,400 years ago viewed the union between Prophet Mohammed and Aisha. Nobody said anything about it. That in, itself, is very significant. The people of Mecca tried their best to smear the reputation of the Prophet, calling him a “liar”, accusing him of being possessed, and never letting an opportunity escape when they could ridicule him. Yet, not a single Arab ever said anything about the Prophet’s marriage to Aisha. No one felt that it was unordinary or strange. This doesn’t mean that there weren’t some sexual taboos- there were. A person wasn’t supposed to marry his adopted son’s ex-wife, for example. Clearly, then, if they thought his behavior was immoral, they would have spoken up. But they didn’t think there was anything unusual about it.

Maybe you don’t care about what Aisha’s society thought…or that she had been previously engaged. Maybe you think she was still forced into it and had no say…How about we look at Aisha, herself, more closely. Surely if she had felt physically exploited, there would have been something that indicated her anger/ fear/ repulsion…the reality, however, is that all she displayed was love. Even years later, after the Prophet died, she never said anything at all that indicated she felt she was a victim. On the contrary, she was very jealous of the other wives of the Prophet- does that seem like the attitude of a victim? Moreover, she used to ask the Prophet for reassurance about his love. See, the Prophet once described his love to her as a knot- meaning something that could never be broken. Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) would ask him “how is the knot?, essentially wanting reassurance the bond between was as strong as ever.

Maybe you think “Okay, she loved him, but she didn’t know any better…maybe she loved the idea of being a Prophet’s wife or she couldn’t even recognize she was being abused.” Let me make it clear that all of the wives of the Prophet lived very simply. Though the Prophet was the Head of State, they would go many days without food and when they had food, it was the most basic essentials. Thus, there was nothing glamorous about their lives. It was full of hard work and toil. Secondly, Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) was a very intelligent woman, strongly opinionated and capable of thinking for herself. This is very clear in the way she expressed herself. For example, when the Ifk incident happened (when she was accused of having committed adultery), Aisha stood up to her parents and said:

“By Allah, I know that you heard this story (i.e. of Ifk) so much so that it has been planted in your minds and you have believed it. So now, if I tell you that I am innocent, and Allah knows that I am innocent, you will not believe me; and if I confess something, and Allah knows that I am innocent of it, you will believe me…”

This is very articulate and shows a mature mind. The fact that she had very strong opinions is also evident when she stood up against Ali (May Allah be Pleased with both of them). She realized that he was correct, though, and changed her mind afterwards. Still, this proves that she was a strong woman.

Not only that, but it is a well known fact that the Companions used to look up to her and seek her advice and ask her questions on fiqh. Perhaps this was one of the reasons Allah chose her to marry the Prophet - because we needed someone who would live after the Prophet for many years and continue to spread the teachings of Islam.

Whatever the reason was, it should be obvious, then, that the Prophet’s marriage to Aisha was one based on love and mutual respect and that there wasn’t anything strange about her age. If the age difference seems odd, this is because we are taking our own conceptions of what is a normal age difference- this differs from society to society. And from person to person…the Prophet was able to meet the needs and desires of both a woman older than him (Khadijah, his first wife, was 15 years older than him and had already been married 2 times before him) and a woman younger than him (he would race with Aisha and joke with her). Again, we can’t judge a marriage 1,400 years ago with our own modern cultural ideas. Just look at Lady’s Mary’s marriage in the Bible.

The 1913 edition of the Catholic Encylopedia records that Mary, was between 12-14 years of age, when she married Joseph, who was 90 years old and had 6 children. (If you want to read from the Gospel of James about it, see below):

The Infancy Gospel of James, Chapter 8 verse 2 to Chapter 9 verse 11

“When she [Mary] turned twelve, a group of priests took counsel together, saying, ‘Look, Mary has been in the temple of the Lord twelve years. What should we do about her now, so that she does not defile the sanctuary of the Lord our God?’ And they said to the high priest, ‘You have stood at the altar of the Lord. Go in and pray about her. And if the Lord God reveals anything to you, we will do it.’ And the priest went in taking the vestment with twelve bells into the holy of holies and prayed about her. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord stood before him, saying, ‘Zachariah, Zachariah, depart from here and gather the widowers of the people and let each one carry a staff. And the one whom the Lord God points out with a sign, she will be his wife.’ So the heralds went out to the whole surrounding area of Judea and the trumpet of the Lord rang out and all the men rushed in.

Throwing down his axe, Joseph went out to meet them. And after they had gathered together with their rods, they went to the high priest. After receiving everyone’s rod, the high priest went into the temple and prayed. When he was finished with the prayer, he took the rods and went out and gave them to each man, but there was no sign among them. Finally, Joseph took his rod. Suddenly, a dove came out of the rod and stood on Joseph’s head. And the high priest said, ‘Joseph! Joseph! You have been chosen by lot to take the virgin into your own keeping.’ And Joseph replied, saying, ‘I have sons and am old, while she is young. I will not be ridiculed among the children of Israel.’ And the high priest said, ‘Joseph, fear the Lord your God and remember what God did to Dathan and Abiron and Kore, how the earth split open and swallowed them because of their rebellion. Now fear God, Joseph, so that these things do not happen in your house.’ Fearing God, Joseph took her into his own possession.”

We’re not trying to be critical of this- we’re trying to point out that we can’t judge a society using our own cultural norms especially when Aisha was clearly happy with the Prophet.

Hope this helps you, out sis :)

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The Prophet's Marriages

Alright, so contuining off from last time, how do we talk to non-Muslims about the Prophet's marriages?

Well, it's simple really. Arm yourself with knowledge :) Nah, don't worry. I'm not going to leave you like that. I'll give you a sample answer :)

"Let’s start off by discussing the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam’s) first marriage. When we examine it closely, we can understand his character and his other marriages better.

The very first wife of the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) was Khadija (Radiya Allah Anha). He married her when he was in his ‘prime youth’. He was 25 years old and she was 40. In fact, it was she, Khadija radiya Allah Anha, who proposed the marriage; she had heard from her servant of the great manners and trustworthiness of the Prophet. Now, despite living in a culture that had no limit to wives and concubines and had no problems with men ‘inheriting women’, (remember the Prophet did not receive the revelation until he was 40 years old- that means, after fifteen years of his marriage to Khadijah), the Prophet remained married to her alone until she passed away (25 years). He loved her dearly and remained faithful to her and her memory long after her death. (We can see this from many narrations but perhaps the most obvious one is the one where Aisha, Radiya Allah Anha, says that she was never jealous of any of the other Prophet’s wives as much as she was of Khadija, though Khadija had passed away before he even married Aisha. (It can be found recorded by al-Bukhaari, 3815. )

So let’s stop for a moment and ponder this. The Prophet first of all married a woman who was 40 years old, older than him by 15 years. Not only was she older than him, but she had previously been married and had two children. Does that sound like a man with a ‘lustful’ nature? Second of all, during the time when the Prophet could have married hundreds of women and had as many concubines as he wanted, before the Revelation was revealed and he ‘became’ a prophet, he chose to remain married to a single woman and to enjoy a monogamous relationship. Does that sound like a man who would go around marrying just any woman he wanted to? Hardly!

The fact of the matter is that the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam married the other wives after Khadijah not out of ‘lust’ or because he was after ‘collecting as many women as possible’. Not at all. He married them first and foremost because Allah chose these women to be examples to the believers and to be his wives.  Furthermore, if we examine these marriages, we see much wisdom and many logical general and individuals reasons for the marriages.

So let's do it. Let’s take a brief look at these general and individual reasons, the Prophet’s wives roles, and who these women were.

General Reasons:

In order to give the general reasons, we have to first agree that we as Muslims believe that the Prophet sallah Allah alyhee wa salam lived his life in the best manner and that we are to emulate his teachings and behavior.

Alright, so now that we have established that, we need to understand the very important role the wives of the Prophet had to Islam; these women were the women who preserved, recorded and took note of every aspect of the Prophet’s sunnah or example of living within the home. Outside of the home, there were hundreds of Companions memorizing his every gesture, word, etc. But what about inside the home? We as people do not only have roles outside, right? When we divide the Prophet’s life as ‘inside’ and ‘outside’ of the home, we realize that these few women preserved 50% of the sunnah! Who could tell us that the Prophet would ‘sew’, help his wives with the chores, treat his wives during their menustration cycles very lovingly (he used to make sure to drink from the exact same place that his wife’s lips had touched the cup), how he would perform the ghusul ritual (washing one’s self after being intimate, etc.), how he would stand most of the night in prayer , etc. except for his wives? Who could tell us how he performed the role of a husband better than his wives? In fact, the books of authentic Hadith attribute more than 3,000 narrations and Prophetic traditions to his wives alone.

Not only did they preserve Islam, these women acted as witnesses to the Prophet’s character within the home. How many times lately have there been news stories about celebrities or very famous people who it turned out abused their wives, treated them unfairly, etc. The wives of the Prophet attested to the fact that not only was the Prophet a gentle, loving man on the outside, he was the same on the ‘inside’.

 Let’s think about this more deeply for a moment. The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam married two women who were the daughters of his arch-enemies. These women had a high rank in their societies and their fathers held the highest positions. If these women so much as complained to somebody or grumbled once that the Prophet treated them unfairly, etc. there would be major doubt that he really was a Prophet. But instead, they only affirmed his wonderful character again and again. Now, if the Prophet had married only one woman, people could say that it was difficult for her to speak up, to admit that she didn’t think he treated her right, etc. But for 11 women to ‘hold on to a lie’ would be really ridiculous, especially when we take into consideration that one of the wives was her tribe’s leader,( and as we mentioned before), 2 of them were his arch-enemies’ daughters, and that the Prophet’s wives were known not to live a life of luxury at all. Instead, they had to live as the Prophet did, and that was extremely simple. Why would they continue to live without ever fully satisfying their thirst or hunger, if not that the Prophet was truly a wonderful man, both inside and outside of the home?

Specific and Individual Reasons..


Now, let’s be a little more specific and go over a few of these marriages:

After Khadijah Radiya Allah Anha passed away, the Prophet first married Sawdah bint Zam’ah ibn Qays. She was fifty five years old and was a widow. One of the ways that we know that in Hajj elderly and large women may go ahead and perform the tawaf earlier than others is because the Prophet gave Sawdah bint Zam’ah, Raidya Allah Anha, permission to do so. From this, though, we can also conclude that Sawdah Radiya Allah Anha was ‘elderly’ and mashaAllah, slightly ‘heavy’. Now, the question arises- do you think the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam,a man who any Muslim woman would have found it an honor to marry (and in fact, many proposed to him, but he declined), would choose to marry an elderly widow, for ‘lust’s sake’? Of course, not. The Prophet’s marriage to Sawdah in fact served as a way to help Sawdah and to honor her. It also showed Muslims the important duty of taking care of the widows. (Remember, during that time, especially, many Muslim men would die due to the wars that were fought against the Muslims; it was critical that the Prophet established in the community the importance of caring for the widows.)

The Prophet also married Umm Habibah, the daughter of Abu Sufyan, the ‘original’ arch-enemy of Islam. He married her after her husband `Ubaydullaah Ibn Jahsh apostated when they were in Ethiopia. Can you imagine? Umm Habiba was stuck in a foreign land, without any husband to support her, with a child, Habiba, and without her family’s help (obviously since her father was originally a terrible enemy of Islam).
Even while she was far away from him, the Prophet never forgot any of the followers of Islam. Instead, he comforted her and helped her out in her great trouble- he sent a message to Negus authorizing him to marry her to him (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) and the marriage contract was made while she was still in Ethiopia.


What else can we realize about this marriage? The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam married her while she was far away from him- does that sound like the act of a womanizer who simply had a weakness for women and had lust problems? No. Because in the beginning of the marriage, they weren't even 'together'!


Another woman the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam married was Juwayriyah bint al-Haarith. Juwaryirah was like the leader of her tribe and she had also been previously married. Her tribe, including her, were all taken as captives during the Battle of Banu Al-Mustaliq. After Juwaryirah went to the Prophet asking for his help, he freed her as a captive. She converted to Islam and he married her. Right after he did that, all of the Companions freed all of the other captives; Juwaryirah’s people then all embraced Islam. Thus, the Prophet Sallah Allahoo Alyhee’s marriage to Juwayriyah helped him in his role as a messenger of God whose job is to deliver and spread the message.

What about the Prophet’s marriage to Zaynab bint Jash? Zaynab bint Jash was the Prophet’s cousin and she was a woman of high status. She had at first married the Prophet’s adopted son, Zayd ibn Haritha, Radiya Allah Anhoo. However, Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala abolished that type of ‘adoption’ and Zayd was no longer thought of as Prophet Mohammed's son. Zayd and Zaynab did not enjoy marital stability and they ended up divorcing. Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala then commanded the Prophet to marry Zaynab, Radiya Allah Anha and He clearly says His reason in the Qur’an:

… We married her to you in order that there not be upon the believers any discomfort concerning the wives of their adopted sons when they no longer have need of them. And ever is the command of Allah accomplished. (33: 36).

That is, with Zaynab’s marriage, a legal ruling in Islam became more clear and the Muslims had no reason to feel ‘uncomfortable’ with it (since the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) himself did it.

The wife that has had one of the biggest impacts on Islam, of course, was Aisha, the daughter of the great Companion, Abu Bakr As Siddique Radiya Allah Anhoo. Aisha, Radiyia Allah Anha was extremely intelligent and after the Prophet’s death, she proved to be the first jurist in Islam. The senior companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, used to ask her about difficult juristic cases. Aisha also preserved much of the Sunnah of the Prophet, Sallah Allahoo alyhaee wa salam. She, along with the other wives, helped explain women’s fiqh in Islam.

So far, I’ve covered 6 of the Prophet’s wives, Radiya Allah Anhum ajamee’n, these wonderful Mothers of the Believers. It should be clear from these that the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam had the most excellent character and that his marriages were all decreed by Allah for a great purpose :)

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Love him? More like die for him...

I really love your blog and I really need your help. I’m really having low iman,I do not even know hadiths to believe these days,some hadiths really bother(can u explain a hadith about the prophet saying that a good muslim should love him(Prophet Muhammad) more than oneself).I’m having very,very low iman.

Jazak Allah girls and may Allah bless you for all that you do,

Need Help

Dear Need Help,

Asalamu aliakuam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo, dearest Sis!

I'm sorry to hear about your low imaan, but I'm soOoOo glad that you sent this question in because you're giving us a chance to talk about the most beautiful person! Allahuma sali wa salim ala sayidduna Mohammed. Before we start though, I want to make it clear that this topic that will be very hard to give its rightful due, but we'll try to lightly touch upon

a. why we should we love the prophet more than ourselves and
b. why we should follow ahadith,

So yes, get yourself a nice cup of tea (or orange juice, if you are like us), and get ready for a long read, hehe! And please, readers, join in and tell us your favorite story of the Prophet/ why you love him ...

Alright, so to start off, I want you to close your eyes and imagine a day

A day :

“When the sun is folded up”,* “When the sky is split open,** and “When the sky bursts open.”**

(AbdAllah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said: If anyone would like to look at the Day of Resurrection as though it were before his eyes he should recite those three surahs)

- when the children[will be] white- haired (73: 17)

- when the sun will be brought near the created beings till it is about a mile from them, and mankind will sweat according to what they had done, the sweat reaching the ankles of some, the knees of others, the waists of others, while some will have their mouths covered by the sweat and Allah’s Messenger (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) pointed his hand at his mouth.

- a day when

Hell will be brought near.

In his Sahih, Imam Muslim bin Al-Hajjaj recorded that `Abdullah bin Mas`ud said that the Messenger of Allah said,
(Hell will be brought on near that Day and it will have seventy thousand leashes, and each leash will have seventy thousand angels pulling it.)

- And everyone you know...running away from you....caring about themselves only...

On the Day a man will flee from his brother (34) And his mother and his father (35) And his wife and his children, (36) For every man, that Day, will be a matter adequate for him. (80:1)

On that Day, even Prophet Moosa, who talked to Allah, will not be able to help us.....

But there will be one man who will take it upon himself to plead for us ....for his followers...

Who will not rest until he sees us in jannah with him...

'On the Day of Resurrection the people will surge with each other like waves, and then they will come to Adam and say, 'Please intercede for us with your Lord.' He will say, 'I am not fit for that but you'd better go to Abraham as he is the Khalil of the Beneficent.' They will go to Abraham and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Moses as he is the one to whom Allah spoke directly.' So they will go to Moses and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Jesus as he is a soul created by Allah and His Word.' (Be: And it was) they will go to Jesus and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Muhammad.'

They would come to me and I would say, 'I am for that.' Then I will ask for my Lord's permission, and it will be given, and then He will inspire me to praise Him with such praises as I do not know now. So I will praise Him with those praises and will fall down, prostrate before Him. Then it will be said, 'O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to; and ask, for your will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers! My followers!' And then it will be said, 'Go and take out of Hell (Fire) all those who have faith in their hearts, equal to the weight of a barley grain.' I will go and do so and return to praise Him with the same praises, and fall down (prostrate) before Him. Then it will be said, 'O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to, and ask, for you will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers! My followers!' It will be said, 'Go and take out of it all those who have faith in their hearts equal to the weight of a small ant or a mustard seed.' I will go and do so and return to praise Him with the same praises, and fall down in prostration before Him. It will be said, 'O, Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to, and ask, for you will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers!' Then He will say, 'Go and take out (all those) in whose hearts there is faith even to the lightest, lightest mustard seed. (Take them) out of the Fire.' I will go and do so...."'

Can you imagine? Can you imagine choosing to leave paradise with all its bliss for someone else? Someone you didn’t even SEE?

How could we not love such a man? The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam could have said: I don't care. The heck with them. I already suffered enough to bring them the message and they decided to sin against Allah?! I was mocked at….stones were thrown at me…I was boycotted…all of this for the message. And they ignored me (didn't listen to the things I told them to do)- and now, they still want my help.

You see what I’m saying? I mean he could have been content with his position with Allah, but NO....

He will ask about US-- you- me--- the ones who followed the message he brought (inshaAllah, inshaAllah)


You see? Prophet Mohammed loves us that much!

The Qur'an says:

"(The Prophet) is greatly grieved at your loss and extremely anxious for your good. For the believers he is full of kindness and rahmah (mercy, love)." (9:128)

It's only natural then, that we share this love, too, don't you think?

Let's also take a look at the ending of this well known story in which Omar RadhiAllahu anhu said that he loved the Prophet only second to himself, but then quickly changed his mind. He was later asked how he could make himself love the Prophet SallAllahu alaihi wasallam more than himself in such a short time (read the rest of the story here: ) . He replied, “I went out and asked myself whom I needed more, myself or the Prophet of Allah? I found that I needed the Prophet more. I will not intercede for myself on the Day of Judgment, but the Prophet of Allah will. My deeds will not place me in the highest of levels, but my love for the Prophet will. I did not take myself from the darkness to light, but the Prophet of Allah did. Hence, the love of the Prophet fell in my heart more than my love for myself.”

You see, Omar bin Khattab's last line about 'not taking myself out from the darkness to the light' is really the zinger (Radiya Allah Anhoo).

We love the Prophet not only for what he is going to DO, but for what he already DID for us.

Who delivered the message of Islam to us? Who was our teacher? Who sacrificed his own comfort, who was jeered at, mocked, exiled from his home country, called a lunatic, tortured, had his daughters divorced just to bring us Islam? Who had people PLOTTING to kill him?

Who was given the chance to 'have the best women/highest position/etc. as long as he stopped calling people to the Message" but instead refused to accept any bribe just to deliver the message for us--

Instead of having the 'richest riches', he lived the life of a humble servant--

“A month would pass while the family of Muhammad would not light fire in their homes. They subsisted on two things - dates and water. Some residents of Medina who were his neighbors would send milk from their sheep, which he would drink and then give to his family.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)

Yes, our prophet Mohammed! Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam.

You see, the question you have to ask yourself is this-

Do you love Islam?

What would your life be without Islam? Without knowing who Allah is?

We love the Prophet because Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala CHOSE him to be the means to which we received the Revelation and learned Islam. We love him because he truly did deliver the message of Islam.

And you know what?

The Revelation itself was hard for the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam receive:
Aisha, may Allah be Pleased with her said: And indeed I saw him (Prophet Mohammed) when the revelation was coming down on him on a very cold day, and when it ended sweat was dripping from his forehead صلى الله عليه و سلم

Can you imagine? How much he went through for every single verse we got of the Qur’an?


What else?

We love the Prophet for his excellent manners.
Anas, his servant, swore that in his nine years of service, the noble Prophet never chastised him or blamed him for anything. Those around him described Muhammad to be so humble that even a little girl could hold his hand and take him wherever she wished. He used to come to the weak among the Muslims in order to visit the sick and attend their funeral processions. He used to stay at the back of the caravan to aid the weak and pray for them. He would not hesitate to walk with a widow or a poor person until he had accomplished for them what they needed. He responded to the invitation of even slaves, eating nothing more than barley bread with them. ( Taken from: http://www.whymuhammad.com/EN/Contents.aspx?AID=7041


Most of all, though, we love the Prophet because Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala told us to!

"The Prophet is preferable for the believers even to their own selves..." (33:6)

Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwelling in which you delight are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and striving hard and fighting in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His Decision (torment). [(9): 24]


This was Allah’s Command.

And this takes us to part 2!

We absolutely cannot forget the ahadith/ or not follow them. It is the Qur’an that tells us to follow them.


Nor does he (Muhammad) speak of his own desire. It is only an Inspiration that is inspired." [An-Najm: 3-4].

"Indeed, Allah conferred a great favour on the believers when He sent among them a Messenger from among themselves, reciting unto them His Verses (the Qur'an), and purifying them, and instructing them (in) the Book (the Qur'an) and Al-Hikmah (the wisdom and the Sunnah of the Prophe), while before that they had been in manifest error." [Al-'Imran: 164].

"Say (to them O Muhammad SAAW): If you love Allah, follow me, and Allah will love you, and forgive you your sins; Allah is All-Forgiving, All-Merciful. Say: Obey Allah, and the Messenger (SAAW), but if they turn away (then know), that Allah loves not the infidels." [Al-'Imran: 31-32].

So let those beware who dissent from the Prophet's order, lest fitnah strike them or a painful punishment. (An Nur: 63)

"You have indeed a good example in the Messenger of Allah (SAAW) for whosoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much." [Al-Ahzab: 21].

"It is not for any believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger) have decreed a matter, to have the choice in their affair. And whosoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger (SAAW) he has gone astray into manifest error." [Al-Ahzab: 36].

"But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O Muhammad) judge in all disputes between them, and find in their souls no resistance against your decisions, but accept (them) fully with submission." [An-Nisa: 65].

Whoever obeys the Messenger, he indeed obeys Allah, and whoever turns back, so We have not sent you as a keeper over them. (Surah An-Nisa, 80)

And whatever the Messenger has given you - take; and what he has forbidden you - refrain from. (surat al hashr 6)

You know, the Prophet himself warned us of this 'time":

The Prophet said, “There will come a time when a man sitting upon his couch is told a hadeeth and he replies, ‘Between us and you is the Book of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic. What we find in it to be lawful, we take as lawful and what we find in it to be forbidden, we take as forbidden.’ Indeed, what the Messenger of Allah has forbidden is like what Allah has forbidden.”

Not only that but just remember. The Companions who recorded the Qur’an are the same ones who preserved the sunnah.

In fact, the hadiths are not ‘randomly’ taken as people seem to think. There is a whole science related to it-“Al Jarh wa ‘Al Tadeel’- which seeks to examine the sayings of the Prophet to determine their authenticity (in a scientific manner).

First, the hadith is divided into 2 sections: the gist of the hadith (meaning), and the narrators. Then, the meaning is checked to make sure it does not violate any Islamic concept. Then the list of narrators is exhaustively studied- it is checked to make sure that each and every narrator did in fact meet (e.g. if I say X reported that Y reported that S narrated that Prophet Mohammed said, there would be a study to conclude that yes, x, y and s all did meet). The entire chain or narrators are ‘ruthlessly’ checked- their character is studied, whether they ever lied, any situation that demonstrated they had a weak memory, etc. how truthful they were known to be, etc.

In fact, in our history, we had many people who would journey thousands of miles tirelessly to collect narrations of the Prophet and distinguish the true words from any alternation and then give these narrations a grade- it could either be ‘saheeh (basically A+), ‘hasan (B), daeef (weak/questionable), and mawdqoo (fabricated). One story has it that one of the persons who collected the hadith, Buhkhari traveled all the way to another country, thousands of miles, to find this one man who had reported the specific hadith (or something like that), but when Bukhair went and found that man, Bukhair found the man telling his mule/donkey ‘to come’ and ‘he would give it something’. Bukhair then saw that the man did not end up giving the animal what he’d promised it. Bukhair, then, instead of asking that man for the hadith, returned back home, saying that he couldn’t trust that man, even though, all he did was ‘lie to an animal’.

To read more about the classification system and this very thorough science, read Here!:


And finally, my dear, I want to point out one thing. Prophet Mohammed sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was an extremely humble man. He never ‘elevated his status’. He wasn’t someone who called people to worship him or anything like that.

It is reported that once a Bedouin met him; when the Bedioun saw him, he was so awed by his presence, he trembled in fear. Seeing this Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: 'Calm down. I am only the son of a woman who used to eat dry meat in Makkah (meaning a poor woman).

He also was reported as saying:

Don’t exaggerate in praising me as the Christians did in praising Jesus who was raised to the status of God’s son. I am a servant of God; therefore call me a servant and messenger of God.”

The best servant of God!

May we be with him on the Day of Judgment, under Ar-Rahman’s Throne, in gardens of bliss!

Your sisters,

p.s. Actually, although we do not know which verses were corrupted in the Bible and which were not, it is interesting to note that they have recorded Jesus as saying: Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me (This verse is in the middle of the verse called "The Sword verse" Matthew 10:34 ).

p.s.s. PLEASE share your favorite hadiths/ stories of the Prophet here :)

p.+ 3's, for ways to increase your imaan, check out the "Fed Up Of the Roller Coaster Ride". May Allah renew your imaan for you :)

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