Does He Hate Me?

>> Tuesday, February 8, 2011

"Sister, I have been through so much lately. I cannot even describe to you what has happened but I have spent years in pain and struggling. I have tried to be patient and accept it but I sometimes wonder why this is all happening. When will it ALL stop? I really hate to say this but I need help and I am hoping you will be able to give it to me- it seems almost unfair that Allah would do this to me.

My mother has also been through so much. Now she is sick and I am completely lost.

I’m just left with this one question.

Is it a punishment? Is Allah unhappy with me and my family?

Dear my darling sister,

You truly strummed my heartstrings with your message and you sound like you've been patient for a long time despite the trials you've been faced with. For this, sis, you have my complete and utter respect - and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

It's no wonder you feel like this - it sounds like you're having some tough times, and you've been patient throughout. But honey, know what?

What you have written actually reminds me of one of the greatest Companions of Prophet Mohammed sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salaam. Have you heard the story of the family of Yassir?
This was a very special family. The two parents and their son, Ammar, all converted to Islam. They were in fact the very first FAMILY to accept Islam. Unfortunately, the Meccans were furious when the family converted. They set out to torture them.
(I’m copy pasting the next part-)
Abu Jahal gathered the young people together to do something about this outrage. They plundered Yasir's house, set fire to all their goods, and chained the whole family up. They were taken outside of Mecca to where slaves were punished and were beaten (the two parents were still slaves). They were stretched across the burning sun of the desert, and heavy blocks of stone were put on top of them. Their howls of pain could be heard in Mecca.
It was sooooooooooo terrible. Can you imagine it? And these were the Companions of the Prophet! The best people, Radiya Allah Anhum.

So what was the answer the Prophet gave them? What were his words to them? He said:

"Family of Yasir, be patient, for your destination is paradise," (Sahih al-Tirmidhi, v5, p233)

Yes, sister! The same is true for you.

Be patient, sister, for your destination is paradise

The truth is, you were never meant to stay in this temporary world. You are meant for eternal bliss. This world is full of pain and misery and yes, you have been through a lot….but again, this is not your final destination.

In fact, think of all the Prophets and what they went through. Think of Prophet Mohammed. He was born an orphan. His boy children died. He was ridiculed and mocked, sometimes, by his own relatives (like his uncle Abu Lahab). And what about the year of Grief? Remember when in the same year, Khadija, his beloved wife, and his uncle died? How about when he went to Taif? He went through so much. He was the best of people and yet he had so many trials…Why?

Because his destination was the highest part of jannah!

So just keep trying and trying and trying to be patient. And, honey I don't know if you saw the Hadith of the Week on the blog a while ago, but it was, 'If Allah loves someone, he makes them go through trials'. I don't know about you, but I sure do think Allah loves you A LOT! You seem to be one amazing and strong girl - and I can only pray to be as strong as you, sis.

And, I’m sure, you've probably heard it before, but I'm still going to mention is again because I feel it's that amazing. It's simple but sums everything up. Gives all the answers. It's in the Qur'an. 'With every hardship, there is relief, with every hardship there is relief'.

Think about these words carefully sister...

Allah is telling you something. Allah is communicating with you and telling you that relief COMES WITH EVERY HARDSHIP. I repeat, EVERY hardship. Be it little or a lot, relief is there with the hardship. Allah is there.

I also want to point out something really important. We usually think that this verse means that ‘after’ hardship, there will come ease. But look. The verse clearly says that “WITH” hardship comes ease. You know why?

Because while we're going through hardships, we're being granted forgiveness! The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam said:

“Whatever befalls a Muslim of exhaustion, illness, worry, grief, nuisance or trouble, even though it may be no more than a prick of a thorn, earns him forgiveness by Allah of some of his sins.

You see! These hardships are placed for us to raise our ranks, erase our sins, and test the strength of our faith. These hardships are placed to purify us and bring us closer to Allah. 
Our hardships are our tickets to paradise!

Not only that, but Sa'd (Radiya Allah anhoo) reported that the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: " The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best, then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his deen (faith). If his deen is firm his affliction is hard, and if his deen is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins. " [Ahmad, Tirmithee ]
Let me remind of something else you probably already know. But a reminder is never wasted...

You are never alone.

It means Allah is with you. It means you don't have to ever face anything alone. It means you won't ever be isolated across a blasted heath of misfortune. Allah loves you and Allah is with you.


What more do you need? (: The Creator of EVERYTHING, seen and unseen. The Sustainer, The Restorer, The Most-Merciful and Most Forgiving. The Most Powerful!
Continue to persevere in patience. Hold on and always remember Allah. 

'Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest'. 

Only with Allah and only in holding onto your faith will you find rest and peace.
And once again. Back to your last question. Honey, Allah LOVES you. He is giving you trials so that you can overcome them, and He will never burden you with a burden too tall.


And I want you to realize something. If we look at the Qur’an, we see that people who were given ‘the stuff that we think is good’ were mostly NOT good people. Yeah, they were people Allah didn’t like.

So when they forgot that by which they had been reminded, We opened to them the doors of every [good] thing until, when they rejoiced in that which they were given, We seized them suddenly, and they were [then] in despair (644)
 Indeed, Qarun was from the people of Moses, but he tyrannized them. And We gave him of treasures whose keys would burden a band of strong men; thereupon his people said to him, "Do not exult. Indeed, Allah does not like the exultant. (76) (Chapter 28)
You know why He gives to the people who are bad and delays giving right away to the people who are good? The answer is in this hadith:

“If a servant who is favored by Allah supplicates, Allah says to Gabriel: grant his request but delay it, for I like to hear his voice more and more but if someone, in disfavor with Allah, supplicates, Allah says to Gabriel: O Gabriel! Grant the request of My servant with haste, for I don’t like to hear his voice.”

He loves your voice. He wants to hear YOUR voice asking Him. He wants you to turn back to Him. He wants you to be in jannah.He doesn’t want you to forget Him and get sidetracked by this dunya. He loves you.

So rejoice in that knowledge and turn to Him. :) And smile.

P.S. Just in case it wasn't totally clear from this post: Realize that what we perceive to be ‘good’ may not be ‘good at all,” and what we think may be ‘bad’, may not be bad at all. And that’s why whatever Allah does is perfectly Fair. He knows what’s best for each and every one of us. I know you might think “why is my mother sick”, but the reality is that maybe Allah let that happen to her to ensure and guarantee her place in Jannah with the most noble of the Companions and Prophets.

P.S.s. And a special gift for you: He who has no one...

Readers also please add the verses and hadiths that comfort you. :)

9 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Fida Islaih February 8, 2011 at 12:56 PM  

Thanks for such an amazing post!! It's something I really needed!

Shireen Baig February 8, 2011 at 9:43 PM  

Its a wonderful advice =)

Just some additional advice - I was feeling low too yesterday. Cause few things at work really ended up disturbing me. I was in a pathetic state when i left office with my friend and while we were in metro. She could not think of anything to cheer me up so she takes out the small copy of quran with translation. She read to me random surahs, we started reciting to eachother what we learnt and discussed some verses. The reason why i am telling you this is because by the end of our trip i was so happy again.

When you feel let down in this world, when you feel like losing hope, nothing helps like the Quran does. Go back to the Quran, build a relationship with it sister.

Today morning i was listening to a lecture and the shcholar was talking about the slander of Aisha (RA) and how as her response she just quoted the ayah from surah yusuf. The scholar went on saying how the Radhiallahu anhum always went back to the Quran in times of distress. Even if they lost something small they would go to the Quran..

Anonymous,  February 8, 2011 at 10:03 PM  

<3 This post sis al-hamdulillah!

Anonymous,  February 13, 2011 at 6:53 PM  

On no soul does God place a burden greater than it can bear.
It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns."

"Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error;
Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector."

[ The Holy Quran 2:286 ]

Unknown March 12, 2011 at 5:04 AM  

Masha Allah! This is a beautiful post! Truly, when you realize that Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aala is with you, it gives you this amazing sense of peace and every bad thing stops affecting you so much!

Anonymous,  March 28, 2011 at 2:52 AM  

I know I'm really late,like,way over a month but upon reading this article and all the lovely advice given by our little auntie,I remembered this Ayah of the Qur'an:

Jihad(holy fighting in Allah's cause) is ordained for you(Muslims) though you dislike it, and it maybe be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.

This is a beautiful ayah that reminds us that we don't know what's best for us. Allah ta'ala does. And we all know that famous saying,don't we? 'The will of Allah won't take you where the grace of Allah won't protect you.' :)

I don't know what's wrong,but you sure sound like you've been through so very much. Hope you're feeling better now,sister. :) And remember,He loves you,and so does all of us! :)

Take care. <3

Maryooma,  May 26, 2011 at 10:50 PM  

Some happenings yesterday left me feeling distressed, and thanks to this lovely post, and the comments, i feel so hopeful again, MashAllah!

Anonymous,  March 17, 2012 at 5:51 PM  

visit the site everytime you open your web-browser it gives you amazing dua'as and alot of them help you become happier. its just google but with a more islamic look lol.

Anonymous,  April 3, 2013 at 9:37 PM  

Wow. SubhanAllah, this post came just in time for me, again. JazakAllah to the Auntie who wrote this post. I was feeling belittled by my fellow mates since yesterday, and I really needed to read something on patience. This was just so wonderful, it put me back on track. May Allah protect us all, ameen. Also, I love the comments in here. I love how this site functions as a family- the Aunties and the readers. <3

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

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