eeek. He saw my pic!!

>> Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I've been wearing hijab for four years and i love it. Throughout those four years Three guys have seen me without my hijab on accident through a picture. Two of the times these boys disrespected my privacy and either took my camera or phone (in a friendly way) and i specifically told them to give it back, i really couldnt do anything at this point, and then they see the picture. i've learned my lesson not to take pictures of myself on my camera or phone and leave them there but its so hard when my girl friends want to see my hair :/ anyways i was wondering if this is my fault, i feel so horrible about the whole thing and i was wondering what your thoughts would be on this issue.


Dear Aunties,
What happens if a guy accidentally sees a picture of you without your hijab?
This has happened to me 3 times and it hurts so much to know that, i've been working so hard for four years and this happens...


Dearest Horrified and Sarah!

How funny that BOTH of you sent in the same question, SubhanAllah. I was really actually surprised, hehe! (On the bright side of things, it makes things easier for us, LOL).

But, seriously, wow, ma'shaAllah, to you guys for caring soOoo much about guys accidentally seeing your pictures. InshaAllah that is a sign of true heya (modesty) and commitment to Allah. May Allah reward you guys.

As for what we think....hey, accidents happen. I'm sure every hijabi here has a story to tell!

Alhamdiallah, though, Allah is so Merciful and Just, He judges our actions by our intentions.

On the authority of son of Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both), from the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), among the sayings he related from his Lord (glorified and exalted be He) is that He said:

Allah has written down the good deeds and the bad ones. Then He explained it [by saying that] he who has intended a good deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds to seven hundred times, or many times over. But if he has intended a bad deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down as one bad deed.
It was related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

So just ask yourself this:

- (You sure as heck don't sound like it), but were you secretly happy that the guys saw your pictures? When, for example, Sarah, the guy was holding your mobile, did you think "Finally, he's going to know that I'm one pretty girlie", or were you thinking, "LET GO OF MY MOBILE, doofus!"

- Did you in any way mean for this to happen?

If not, forget about these incidents. Just learn from the lessons. How did it happen? How can you prevent that from happening again? The guys took your phone- are you really an 'ice queen around' them, as we've suggested before, or are you giving them the 'wrong signals' that it's okay 'to hang out and be best buddies'? So your girl friends are curious about how you look- maybe go to the school bathroom and show them or invite your close friends to your house?

Just a precautionary note, though- some scholars have understood that we're supposed to cover in front of non-Muslim women (because they may tell others about how we look), wa'llahu A'alim. You may want to try researching it. I tried looking for a fatwa and found this, but it's blocked for me (so I'm not sure what it says, LOL):

Anyways, inshaAllah, there's no reason to beat yourself up about it, and inshaAllah these accidents will in no way stand against you on the Day of Judgment. Wallahu' A'alim :D

6 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Horrified,  February 9, 2011 at 6:47 AM  

Thank you so much <3

Sabirah February 9, 2011 at 11:42 AM  

It has happened to me. My dad (still new to the hijab thing) let a family friend that used to babysit me and then worked with my dad for a long time...about 15 years older than dad said like a "brother"...well he let him come to the women's section of my wedding when my real blood brothers were asked to come take pictures with me. I was horrified, too...but as Little Auntie said...Insha'Allah those types of issues are forgiven.

Shireen Baig February 9, 2011 at 8:57 PM  

Here's my 2 incidents: My family is still getting used to my Hijaab thing i guess.

Situation 1 : We live in a 3 story house, so on both the floors are my maternal uncles, we stay on one floor and the 2 male kids below the age of puberty. Here i am having food on the 2nd eid day in my jeans and shirt. Just then i hear my uncle so i sit still in my place presuming its just him then BAM! my aunt's husband is with him the moment i saw him it was as if i had seen a monster, I ran as fast as I could to the door beside our dining table and hid myself behind a curtain. Once he was gone my maternal uncle thought i was not polite, but i was so fuming mad at him that i told him he should knock before entering :-/ people just forget that its a sunnah!

Situation 2 - I've grown up with this cousin brother of mine who's about a year younger to me. He didn't know i do hijaab, so i was joking with my sister and my parents. I knew my cousin was in our veranda but i didn't know he was gonna come up. He entered the room and i ran to the cupboard to get a cover for my hair. He got SO shocked he went out of the Room but HE DID see my hair for a split second. Then he was like ''why are you covering yourself, im ur brother man!'' so after i explained him why. It went well ;)

So you see, there are sometimes where you don't have an intention but situation makes it happen.

Anonymous,  February 11, 2011 at 9:13 AM  

@ The one who needs reminders
but in my case it was pictures, and i had put them there, and i was there to see their faces as they saw it and as i had those pictures on there i kept reminding myself to be careful because something like that might happen.... so i knew the possibility, thats why i feel so bad.

Little Auntie February 12, 2011 at 4:08 AM  

^WEll, I guess the question is 'could you have grabbed the mobile back? did you use a firm voice with them? and they simply refused to let you have it back"?

I guess only you (and Allah) know if you could have done something more about it--but in any event, you can just do istighfar and make tawbah....Ask Allah to forgive you and resolve to never let it happen again, inshaAllah. If Allah forgave a prostitute, why wouldn't He forgive you, dear?

Sabirah and Shiru, I know what you guys mean. I've got a lot of stories like that, myself. I remember once hanging out with my uncle's wife and not wearing hijab..then her 'son' came and I went running to wear my hijab and she was like "but it's okay!"....*Umm, no...he's my cousin*, lol....:)

Little Auntie February 12, 2011 at 4:08 AM  

^btw, that was pre-niqab days....

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

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