>> Wednesday, April 13, 2011
I really don't know how to say this, but I need help. I was hurt so many times in life to the point that I stopped caring about life. I didn't care if I lived or died. I didn't see any point in my existence. during this time, I started to cut myself to cope with all my problems. It seemed like the only way I could control my life. Then, alhamdullah, alhamdullah, I met these wonderful sisters who introduced me back to the real Islam and not just culture. I couldn't believe it. I started reading more Quran and learning about the Prophets and everything. I found that Islam is something so beautiful. I realized my purpose in life and I learned that trials were blessings in disguise. But I still sometimes cut myself. How do I stop?
Dear My Precious Sister ,
My dear sister. How my heart aches for you. Sister, I believe that you have been through so much. I'm so glad you found those sisters- actually to be more precise that Allah sent those sisters for you to help bring you back to Him. May Allah bless these sisters and you.
As for your question, my darling sister. I want to ask you something.
1. Why exactly do you cut yourself
2. and why do you want to stop?
You see, sister, this has to come from YOU. I could tell you a million times that you are someone special...but you have to believe it. Do you believe that, sis?
Do you realize how special you are? There is only one you in this whole universe. And Allah chose you to be on His path. And He wants you to be in jannah.
Do you realize that you have something special to contribute to this world?
Do you know how gold is made? It has to go through fire, right?
Well, inside of you is something so special-- a treasure- more valuable than gold. All of those trials were like the 'fire' you had to go through. Now, it's time to let the gold shine.
Now it is time for YOU to be who you want to be.
That's why you have to have answers ready to those questions.
You see, at the end of the day, I am not with you when you are with that knife/ scissors/whatever. You are by yourself with it, so I want you to prepare yourself for when you are alone. I don't want you to ever cave into that hopelessness....I want you to be ready by having your own answers prepared.
And I want you to remember that your past is exactly that- the past.
It will affect you so long as you give it power to do so. Those who hurt you will continue to hurt you when you give them that power and control of your life. By cutting yourself, you are still allowing these people to dictate your life for you. That is why the second step, after answering these questions, is to accept your past. Let it go. And embrace the future.
And you have to respect and value yourself. Let me ask you a question. If you saw someone attacking your little sister with a knife, for example, would you let that happen? I doubt you would, right. So what gives you the right to hurt yourself? Show that same love to yourself.
I know. You're going to tell me, "that's what I'm asking you". How do I do that?
Think of safer alternatives!
1. Have some really soothing Qur’an recitations ready on your laptop for whenever you are starting to feel down- your favorite recitors, etc. Try to do some dua and dhikr.
2. Paint. Draw. Write. Blog. Release your inner tension. Sing along to some favorite nasheeds out loud. As one website said, take a warm bath.
3. Get help. Talk to a friend about your problem and make an agreement that when you 'call her', she will come over/ chat with you/ talk to you on the phone. You can also seek help from a therapist. They are also much more qualified with these kinds of things. Remember, there is no shame in seeking help.
I got you some other ideas from this website: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm
May Allah make things easier for you!! Remember that we are always here for you. If you are in pain, so are we. The believers are one body. We love you.