Let's Get this Straight. (Homosexuality.)

>> Thursday, April 14, 2011

I've been reading your amazing blog for a while now, and even though i get extremely lazy and not read entire answers, I do pick up some great things. :)

My question for you today is....on a very touchy topic. I live in America and this is becoming an ongoing debate between Christians and Atheists...but I want to know what Islam says about it.


My reason for this question is, if people start discussing this i want to imput ISLAMIC points. I know (for sure) that homosexual marriages are completely not allowed in Islam, but what are these people's status's considered? Does Islam say people are born this way or become this way? Whenever I used to go to Pakistan and saw the Hijraas wearing a ton of makeup and asking for money, I was...annoyed. Why don't these people work? Or do something? why are they just begging? why is EVERY homosexual in pakistan just begging? But with all the recent debates, I think maybe these people are begging because no one over there will accept them doing anything else. I also fear for my future. When I have kids and they go to school, will they be seeing these relationships openly in school? Am i supposed to teach them it's wrong? What if my child is like that?

So, I am very confused. I'm sorry for the extremely long question, but i had to explain my stand point.
I hope it is not too much trouble for you to answer this, as this is the type of thing i'd never bring up to my family.
Thank You in advance :)
-Hoping to Learn

Wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo,

Dearest Hoping to Learn,

You know, I've been waiting for someone to ask this question. And don't worry. This whole blog is for the stuff we're not comfortable talking to dear mumzy and daddy about.

So yeah, I know-the issue of homosexuality can seem a little confusing right now. But you know what? It’s really not- the truth is, this is another one of those things that modern society is trying to make “politically correct”. You see, with so many people coming out of the closet and so many shows starring homosexuals, we are constantly being bombarded with the message homosexuality is natural. The media keeps asking us: What’s wrong if two people love each other? Even if they are the same gender? Shouldn’t everyone have the right to decide who they feel attracted to?

To be blunt about it, the answer is: There’s a lot wrong with homosexuality.

Yes, I said it.

Homosexuality is not normal- it’s unnatural. And it’s a sin to act up on it.

Let me ask you something:

Is it acceptable for a boy to feel sexually attracted to his sister? Or for a woman to feel sexually attracted to her son? Or what if a man feels attracted to his niece? How about if a boy feels sexually attracted to his stepmom? Would it be acceptable for him to act on his desire? Well, why not? What if the people involved in all of these scenarios share deep feelings and feel the need to act on them physically? Who’s to say they shouldn’t?

I think the idea is getting a little clearer…..but just in case, let me ask you some other questions.
Forget relatives….what if a 45 year old man feels attracted to his neighbor’s 3 year old daughter? Or if a female teacher feels attracted to her 9 year student, who happens to be a male?

Would our society accept these people acting out on their desires? The answer is a big fat no. These people, in fact, would be encouraged to see a psychiatrist and to get serious counseling. Muslim or not- no one in their right mind would accept them saying “I was just created this way”.

And that brings us back to homosexuality. It is not natural to feel attracted to one’s own sex. At the end of the day, the Creator created men and women for a reason. With His Wisdom and infinite knowledge, God is the One who created us and He made us physically different. Moreover, mankind would not be able to continue to exist if we all suddenly took up homosexuality- a clear sign that something is wrong with it. Our very existence as a species depends on men and women being together. Think about it. IF it was 'okay for homosexuals to be together', why can't they naturally conceive?

The answer is clear. They weren't created to be together.

So, yes, Islamically, homosexuality is NOT allowed. This is clearly stated in the Qur’an.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

81. ‘Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins).’
82. And the answer of his people was only that they said: ‘Drive them out of your town, these are indeed men who want to be pure (from sins)!’
83. Then We saved him and his family, except his wife; she was of those who remained behind (in the torment).
84. And We rained down on them a rain (of stones). Then see what was the end of the Mujrimoon (criminals, polytheists and sinners)”
[al-A’raaf 7:80-84]

“And (remember) Loot (Lot), when he said to his people: ‘Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed in the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)?

Not only do we have the story of Prophet Lot and his people and the destruction that fell upon them for this sin, we also have a clear hadith:

Ahmad (2915) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “May Allaah curse the one who does the action of the people of Loot, may Allaah curse the one who does the action of the people of Loot,” three times. This was classed as hasan by Shu’ayb al-Arna’oot in Tahqeeq al-Musnad.

Furthremore, the scholars stated that when Allaah mentioned zina, He described it as a “great sin” (faahishah – indefinite) among other great sins, but when He mentioned homosexuality, He called it “the worst sin” (al-faahishah – definite). This suggests that it contains all the essence of evil and sin. End quote from al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 260-263)

Well, what about if someone thinks s/he is homosexual?

The first thing they need to do is redefine themselves not as homosexuals but as persons who may experience some "homosexual thoughts". There's a difference.

When a person defines himself as a homosexual, he/she basically gives himself a license to sin. That's not acceptable  It's not okay to go with the excuse that this is what Allah wanted". Our thoughts are not the same as our actions. We are responsible for our actions.

And we must always remind ourselves that this is not what Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala wanted.

Remember, that's the excuse the 'mushriks' use in the Qura'n and it is completely incorrect.

And those who associate others with Allah say, "If Allah had willed, we would not have worshipped anything other than Him, neither we nor our fathers, nor would we have forbidden anything through other than Him." Thus did those do before them. So is there upon the messengers except [the duty of] clear notification?  16: 35

Anyone who feels like this must remember that they were not innately created like this. This is not their identity. This is maybe a trial for them, but not 'who' they are.

The second thing the person should do is seek help.

The person should try and get their hands on resources to help them overcome homosexuality/ homosexual thoughts. 

In fact, contrary to what the media tries to teach us, it is possible to leave homosexuality. 

Take Alan Chambersis. He was a gay man who overcame unwanted homosexuality and started a family. He wrote a book called, "Leaving Homosexuality". There's also Yvette Schneider who wrote "Leaving Lesbianism". She explains that she 'chose homosexuality' because she found her emotional needs being met through it (she wanted to feel loved/ appreciated/ etc.) It wasn't because she was actually physically attracted to women. Both of these authors are now very Christian, but the point is that they were able to realize why they were 'going with their own gender' - that it wasn't actually in their innate being- and were able to stop it.

So, it is possible. If anyone suffers from any homosexual thoughts, consider it your own jihad that you have to struggle against. You are going through a difficult trial ....but you will be able to overcome it, inshaAllah. Hold on to the rope of Allah.

I do want to point out that Islam is a very practical religion, though. And that is why, even in front of only women, women should cover certain parts. Also, if you read fatwas on dancing, sometimes you will see Sheikhs saying not to dance provocatively even in front of your own gender. Why? So that we stay away from the doors of homosexuality.

About explaining to your future children, inshaAllah- yes, you should explain it to them that it is wrong. I'm quoting Hena Zuberi Siddiqui . Tell them exactly what this says:

a. Homosexual behavior is not an innate identity.
b. No matter what factors may influence homosexual feelings, freely chosen homosexual behavior is immoral and should be resisted.
c. Homosexuality is not equivalent to race.
d. Disapproval of homosexuality is not equivalent to racism; nor is it hatred; nor is it bullying; nor does it constitute an incitement to violence. It is permissible and ethical to express disapproval of homosexuality. Just because someone may feel bad when hearing that someone disapproves of homosexuality does not mean that disapproval is cruel or wrong.
e. No school should support a view of homosexuality that is unproven and controversial, and that is physically, emotionally, and spiritually destructive to individuals and society.

InshaAllah, if you provide the right emotional support for your children, they will not be like that.

As for the beggars, I'm not really sure what your view should be of them Isalmically. We should consult a scholar for that....:)

I hope this clears things up for you, sis and as always, the readers are more than welcome to add their wonderful sprinkely thoughts :)

10 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Anonymous,  April 14, 2011 at 12:43 PM  

Salam wa alaykum sister.

I think this post was very intersting. I noticed the citation of Alan Chambersis who also appeared on a show hosted by Lisa Lang on the Oprah network entited Our America (homosexuality vs christianity?). I think the idea of "overcoming" homosexuality should be more specified. Resist temptation I think yes, but to stop any and all feelings...im still not sure. Based just on Alan's interview on the show he clearly admitted to still being attracted to men and that he battled with it daily. Emotionally he doesnt want to go back to his former life and he is very settled as a married man with his children (adopted). I think the cases of people authentically leaving homosexual behavior are few and far between. Im not sure if its impossible but based on the current scientific studes and case studies im finding it hard to say confidently that people can stop being homosexual and transform back into a heterosexuality. Irregardless our Islam is a gift from Allah swt. What is more important (as mentioned) is resisting our lower nafs and trying to be better and its the physical acts which are condemned and not the inner desire. I hope that makes sense :)!

TheSisterWhoSmiles April 14, 2011 at 12:49 PM  

Once again, amazingly put (:

What about people at school, good classmates of our's, who are non-muslim who 'come out of the closet' and reveal this to you... this has happened a few times. How should we treat these people?
Oh, thankfully, these people didn't act upon their feelings, and eventually realised/are realising that it's really not them...

JazaakAllah (: <3

Uri Fatimah,  April 14, 2011 at 9:26 PM  

hmm again, a persuasive answer:)

Before being a muslim, I was supporting homosexuality. As they seem to be oppressed and natural. Even though I cannot understand the way the feel desire at all '~'

recently, a man who was raised up by 2 lesbians argue that he is normal well-rounded citizen - means that homosexual couples can raise children properly.

May Allah guide us.

Little Auntie April 14, 2011 at 11:46 PM  

Is-za, jazakillah for clearing that up about Alan. I'd only briefly read about him before. I suppose it is a 'life long battle'- maybe in the same way alcoholism is.

But speaking of Oprah, there was an article in the Oprah magazine before discussing why women were going after other women. If I wanted to, I could even post the link but honestly it just made me sick- (they seemed to think it something very positive). Anyways, it again, mentioned that many times women go with women because they find that their emotional needs in a relationship are met-- meaning that these days heterosexual women are choosing to become homosexual, not actually because they were attracted to their own gender.

In fact, many studies have been done researching whether or not there is such a thing as 'a gay gene'-- are they born like this or not?

Dr. Simon LeVay, in his study of the hypothalamic differences between the brains of homosexual and heterosexual men, offered the following criticisms of his own research, "It's
important to stress what I didn't find. I did not prove that homosexuality is genetic, or find a genetic cause for being gay. I didn't show that gay men are born that way, the most
common mistake people make in interpreting my work. Nor did I locate a gay center in the brain."

"Scientific attempts to demonstrate that homosexual attraction is biologically determined have failed. The major researchers have arrived at such conclusions." Quote :By A. Dean Byrd, Shirley E.
Cox, and Jeffrey W. Robinson

theSisterwhoSmiles- oh man, that's tough. I'll have to think a bit.

Well, Uri, the idea though is that they can't have children-- it has to be through means of 'adoption' and the like.

Anonymous,  April 15, 2011 at 10:11 AM  

I just wanted to mention that Islam is such a practical religion that it emphasizes the need for men to act masculine and women to be feminine. It is considered wrong to get a hair cut that resembles the opposite gender. Similarly, it's wrong to dress like the opposite gender. Islam does this to make sure that men "remain" men and women "women".

Unknown April 16, 2011 at 3:57 AM  

Thank you for this post Lil Aunties. This is something I've also been trying to explain to the brainwashed teenagers in my life! :P

It's tough because everywhere it's being preached that you're some sort of horrible cruel racist if you don't accept homosexuality!

As the sister in the letter said the biggest concern is how we can prevent the younger generations from becoming influenced by this phenomenon. Especially when homosexuality is also rapidly spreading in schools, just like how the SisterWhoSmiles mentioned.

They go to secular schools, have non-Muslim friends and it's considered "normal" for them. The first time my teenage cousin came and told me all about how one of her school friends were gay and all, I swear my eyes popped out of my head! Sadly, I'm now "very mean and narrow-minded" because I do not accept people's right to "love" whomever of their choosing!

(I have nightmares that she'll one day come and tell me that she herself is gay or something! Subhan Allah! I fear I will go into a coma and never wake up!)

"Love" is used as an excuse to justify their perverted desires. Today we are being told to accept homosexuality as a fundamental right of people, tomorrow we will be asked to accept incest, pedophilia, beastiality and all other forms of sexual deviation because people are "born that way" and "it's their right"!!

I was horrified to learn that this disease is also spreading amongst Muslims and they use the excuse that it was Allah who created them that way. Auzubillahi!! How can they utter such blasphemy? They attribute their actions to the Qadr of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala. Which is completely and totally ridiculous. May Allah save us from even thinking such blasphemous thoughts!!

If Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala had wanted us to be a slave to our desires, then would He have blessed us with a will of our own? Allah did not create any of us inherent with these desires, it comes from the Shaytan and Shaytan alone. And same as everything else, Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala has given us the ability to choose. To choose to act upon a desire or refrain from it. To choose right from wrong.

So it's a very very lame excuse to say someone is "born homosexual"! As for having their "emotional needs" met by their own gender, does that mean that now friendship is also going obsolete?

I mean, if two girls are the best of friends and have a close bond, does that mean they should then automatically become homosexuals because they're emotionally closer to each other than to anyone else? A load of crap, in my opinion!

If this freedom of rights business continues, the world will soon descend into anarchy and all sorts of heinous things!! I mean, the thief, the rapist, the murderer, they will all be shrieking that they were born that way and it's not something they can control and so they shouldn't be discriminated against!

Excuse me while I go calm myself down! These topics always gets my nerves in a tizzy! :P

OzarksUSA April 16, 2011 at 11:19 PM  

Most gay people, myself included, did not chose to be gay. Perhaps the two people you mentioned did, but the majority of gays don't. Believe it or not we are loving, normal people who raise families, work hard, and are good neighbors and friends. I would never cheat on my partner and I am a loyal friend. Gay people are just like anyone else. We aren't trying to "convert" anyone to being like us, we just don't want to be harassed and have our rights taken away.

OzarksUSA April 16, 2011 at 11:25 PM  

I wanted to ad that a loving relationship with someone of the same gender is nothing like rape, incest, or bestiality. How on earth can you compare a loving relationship to rape? That is very hurtful, offensive, and a very uneducated thing to say. I want to remind everyone that the AMA (American Medial Association) does NOT consider homosexuality a mental illness.

Little Auntie April 17, 2011 at 1:22 AM  

Believe it or not we are loving, normal people who raise families, work hard, and are good neighbors and friends. I would never cheat on my partner and I am a loyal friend.

Lady of the Ozarks, we never meant to imply in any way that you would 'cheat' on your partner or that you cannot raise a family or that you are not loving, kind, and a loyal friend. In fact, we are not saying that you genuinely do not love your partner- your relationship may be very real and solid to you, but we are simply giving the Islamic perspective which states that you are with a partner you were never allowed to be with.

We are not comparing homosexuality to rape, but rather we are trying to say that society does draw the line to relationships. It always has. This is a question of morality- no matter if two people consent to something (such an incestuous relationship), it's not acceptable. The standard was never about consent or 'feelings'. We cannot go with 'two people feel this way'- it it what the society as a whole accepts. And for Muslims (and other religions), it is what God has allowed/ accepts. Our Scriptures reveal to us that God does not accept this type of relationship.

Science is still divided on the issue- there has been no concrete scientific evidence that pinpoints that homosexuals are born this way. However, let's say that someone feels that they have always been this way-- well, the Islamic stance would be that this is a trial for them. Jihad literally means to struggle and that is why we called it, the person's own internal jihad/struggle.

I want to make it clear that every one of us has something that we battle day in and day out- some sin that is a trial for us. We are not implying that we are better than anyone- but we believe that it is necessary to see the reality of things in accordance with the way God has revealed them (what is a sin/what is not). So, if a person feels that they are homosexual but refuses to act upon it in submission to God and His Commandments- perhaps they are a million times better than us.

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Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

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