>> Thursday, April 14, 2011
I've been reading your amazing blog for a while now, and even though i get extremely lazy and not read entire answers, I do pick up some great things. :)
My question for you today is....on a very touchy topic. I live in America and this is becoming an ongoing debate between Christians and Atheists...but I want to know what Islam says about it.
My reason for this question is, if people start discussing this i want to imput ISLAMIC points. I know (for sure) that homosexual marriages are completely not allowed in Islam, but what are these people's status's considered? Does Islam say people are born this way or become this way? Whenever I used to go to Pakistan and saw the Hijraas wearing a ton of makeup and asking for money, I was...annoyed. Why don't these people work? Or do something? why are they just begging? why is EVERY homosexual in pakistan just begging? But with all the recent debates, I think maybe these people are begging because no one over there will accept them doing anything else. I also fear for my future. When I have kids and they go to school, will they be seeing these relationships openly in school? Am i supposed to teach them it's wrong? What if my child is like that?
So, I am very confused. I'm sorry for the extremely long question, but i had to explain my stand point.
I hope it is not too much trouble for you to answer this, as this is the type of thing i'd never bring up to my family.
Thank You in advance :)
-Hoping to Learn
Wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo,
Dearest Hoping to Learn,
You know, I've been waiting for someone to ask this question. And don't worry. This whole blog is for the stuff we're not comfortable talking to dear mumzy and daddy about.
So yeah, I know-the issue of homosexuality can seem a little confusing right now. But you know what? It’s really not- the truth is, this is another one of those things that modern society is trying to make “politically correct”. You see, with so many people coming out of the closet and so many shows starring homosexuals, we are constantly being bombarded with the message homosexuality is natural. The media keeps asking us: What’s wrong if two people love each other? Even if they are the same gender? Shouldn’t everyone have the right to decide who they feel attracted to?
To be blunt about it, the answer is: There’s a lot wrong with homosexuality.
Yes, I said it.
Homosexuality is not normal- it’s unnatural. And it’s a sin to act up on it.
Let me ask you something:
Is it acceptable for a boy to feel sexually attracted to his sister? Or for a woman to feel sexually attracted to her son? Or what if a man feels attracted to his niece? How about if a boy feels sexually attracted to his stepmom? Would it be acceptable for him to act on his desire? Well, why not? What if the people involved in all of these scenarios share deep feelings and feel the need to act on them physically? Who’s to say they shouldn’t?
I think the idea is getting a little clearer…..but just in case, let me ask you some other questions.
Forget relatives….what if a 45 year old man feels attracted to his neighbor’s 3 year old daughter? Or if a female teacher feels attracted to her 9 year student, who happens to be a male?
Would our society accept these people acting out on their desires? The answer is a big fat no. These people, in fact, would be encouraged to see a psychiatrist and to get serious counseling. Muslim or not- no one in their right mind would accept them saying “I was just created this way”.
And that brings us back to homosexuality. It is not natural to feel attracted to one’s own sex. At the end of the day, the Creator created men and women for a reason. With His Wisdom and infinite knowledge, God is the One who created us and He made us physically different. Moreover, mankind would not be able to continue to exist if we all suddenly took up homosexuality- a clear sign that something is wrong with it. Our very existence as a species depends on men and women being together. Think about it. IF it was 'okay for homosexuals to be together', why can't they naturally conceive?
The answer is clear. They weren't created to be together.
So, yes, Islamically, homosexuality is NOT allowed. This is clearly stated in the Qur’an.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
81. ‘Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins).’
82. And the answer of his people was only that they said: ‘Drive them out of your town, these are indeed men who want to be pure (from sins)!’
83. Then We saved him and his family, except his wife; she was of those who remained behind (in the torment).
84. And We rained down on them a rain (of stones). Then see what was the end of the Mujrimoon (criminals, polytheists and sinners)”
“And (remember) Loot (Lot), when he said to his people: ‘Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed in the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)?
Not only do we have the story of Prophet Lot and his people and the destruction that fell upon them for this sin, we also have a clear hadith:
Furthremore, the scholars stated that when Allaah mentioned zina, He described it as a “great sin” (faahishah – indefinite) among other great sins, but when He mentioned homosexuality, He called it “the worst sin” (al-faahishah – definite). This suggests that it contains all the essence of evil and sin. End quote from al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 260-263)
Well, what about if someone thinks s/he is homosexual?
The first thing they need to do is redefine themselves not as homosexuals but as persons who may experience some "homosexual thoughts". There's a difference.
When a person defines himself as a homosexual, he/she basically gives himself a license to sin. That's not acceptable It's not okay to go with the excuse that this is what Allah wanted". Our thoughts are not the same as our actions. We are responsible for our actions.
And we must always remind ourselves that this is not what Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala wanted.
Remember, that's the excuse the 'mushriks' use in the Qura'n and it is completely incorrect.
Anyone who feels like this must remember that they were not innately created like this. This is not their identity. This is maybe a trial for them, but not 'who' they are.
The second thing the person should do is seek help.
The person should try and get their hands on resources to help them overcome homosexuality/ homosexual thoughts.
In fact, contrary to what the media tries to teach us, it is possible to leave homosexuality.
Take Alan Chambersis. He was a gay man who overcame unwanted homosexuality and started a family. He wrote a book called, "Leaving Homosexuality". There's also Yvette Schneider who wrote "Leaving Lesbianism". She explains that she 'chose homosexuality' because she found her emotional needs being met through it (she wanted to feel loved/ appreciated/ etc.) It wasn't because she was actually physically attracted to women. Both of these authors are now very Christian, but the point is that they were able to realize why they were 'going with their own gender' - that it wasn't actually in their innate being- and were able to stop it.
So, it is possible. If anyone suffers from any homosexual thoughts, consider it your own jihad that you have to struggle against. You are going through a difficult trial ....but you will be able to overcome it, inshaAllah. Hold on to the rope of Allah.
I do want to point out that Islam is a very practical religion, though. And that is why, even in front of only women, women should cover certain parts. Also, if you read fatwas on dancing, sometimes you will see Sheikhs saying not to dance provocatively even in front of your own gender. Why? So that we stay away from the doors of homosexuality.
About explaining to your future children, inshaAllah- yes, you should explain it to them that it is wrong. I'm quoting Hena Zuberi Siddiqui . Tell them exactly what this says:
a. Homosexual behavior is not an innate identity.
b. No matter what factors may influence homosexual feelings, freely chosen homosexual behavior is immoral and should be resisted.
c. Homosexuality is not equivalent to race.
d. Disapproval of homosexuality is not equivalent to racism; nor is it hatred; nor is it bullying; nor does it constitute an incitement to violence. It is permissible and ethical to express disapproval of homosexuality. Just because someone may feel bad when hearing that someone disapproves of homosexuality does not mean that disapproval is cruel or wrong.
e. No school should support a view of homosexuality that is unproven and controversial, and that is physically, emotionally, and spiritually destructive to individuals and society.
InshaAllah, if you provide the right emotional support for your children, they will not be like that.
As for the beggars, I'm not really sure what your view should be of them Isalmically. We should consult a scholar for that....:)
I hope this clears things up for you, sis and as always, the readers are more than welcome to add their wonderful sprinkely thoughts :)