>> Friday, April 22, 2011

assalamualaikum. i love ur blog so much and this blog like come to me on the very right time. okay . this is about a friend of mine. she asked me a year ago

we know that marriage is somethng that we done for allah. we getting married for the sake of allah. to reach his bless.but she ask me'how can we ensure that by getting married, we can increase love to allah. we can increase our iman. how this works? she means that , how by married to someone that we LOVE, we can love allah more' i hope u get it cos im so bad at explaining. but really looking forward for your reply. in my side, i know the answer for her question. but im so lack of knowledge . i couldnt give her a very tiny specific answer that can satisfy her. so please help me... help my friend. help OUR SISTERS. thank you. assalamualaikum.

wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatuallah wa barkatoo,

Dearest Wanting to Help Your Friend,

That’s a very interesting question!

Well, the truth is it begins even before marriage. The reality is that we have been encouraged to choose partners who are pious, who fear and love Allah, and who will help us strengthen our relationship with Allah.

Our Lord, grant us wives and offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes and guide us to be models for the righteous"(Al Furqan: 74)
"A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion(her character-piety-taqwa) . You should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."(Bukhari) 
 If a man whose religion and moral character are pleasing proposes to marry your daughter, then marry her off to himotherwise there will be great mischief and corruption on earth."

Ideally, if we do that, if we choose someone who tries his or her best to be close to Allah, then this is bound to help our own imaan increase….and ultimately, our love for Allah to increase. You might be wondering “But how does that happen in practical terms?” Well, for one thing each partner could share ayahs, hadiths, lectures, books, and other things that touched them every once in a while… S/he could encourage each other to go to the mosque and so on. They will encourage each other to pray tahajjud, to raise their children to love Allah (which will bring them also to loving Him more), to take care of their parents, etc.

But there’s more.

Your love for Allah should also increase because He is the one who gave you your partner. At the end of the day, Allah is the Creator and the Razaq, and He is the one who willed for you two to be together. And just like any other blessing, you wouldn’t have each other’s love or companionship if He hadn’t willed that. Shouldn’t that make you feel thankful to Allah? And gratitude plays a big part in increasing our love for Allah. The more gratitude you have, the more you realize how Loving, Merciful, Close, Compassionate Allah is and the more that you love Him.

Think about it this way….

If someone were to get you an amazing gift…something you really really wanted….how would you feel about this person? As much as we’d be thrilled with the gift, it’s really the person who gave us the gift that would capture our heart. And to Allah belongs the most exalted examples.

At the same time, as much as you love your partner, it’s only natural that you two are going to face some problems. Let’s be honest….we’re humans and that means we have faults. No one is perfect and that means you are going to face problems and feel a little hurt every once in a while. Your spouse may not notice all that you do for him/her. S/he might offend you with a hurtful word…may not give you credit for something…

Now how should that make you feel closer to Allah? Because at those times, you should realize that no One ever can love you the way that Allah does or can treat you as well as Allah does. And that should make your love grow for Allah. He is the Only One who knows every single thing you do and appreciates it tremendously. He is the Only One who can hears you cry, without the tears even falling. No matter how much your husband does for you, no one can come close to Allah.

Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues with you, [O Muhammad], concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah. And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing. (1) (Surat Al Mujadilah) 

Well, sister, these are my ideas for your friend's question :D What do you guys think?

11 wonderful sprinkely thoughts:

Naz,  April 22, 2011 at 7:27 AM  

Little Miss Aunty, that was a wonderful reply. And it seems that whenever your im going through this blog, it always seems to answer a question on my mind. SubhanALLAH, another miracle of ALLAH s.w.t. Thanks again for helping all us sister out. JAZAKALLAH! MAY ALLAH S.W.T REWARD ALL OF U GREATLY!!!! AMEEN!

Anonymous,  April 22, 2011 at 8:17 PM  

alhamdulillah. thanks. this helping me a lot sister. i hope this can give a better understanding to my friends :))

lonely sister,  April 27, 2011 at 10:36 AM  

salam...auntie...can i get ur email so that i can ask questions .

Little Auntie April 27, 2011 at 12:31 PM  

^ Of course, lonely sister! The e-mail is: be sure to check the database page first in case your question has been answered :)

Lots of love!

Tania May 3, 2011 at 9:05 AM  

Salam to all my cuty sisizzzzzz........
"how by married to someone that we LOVE, we can love allah more"
some real life examples for this ques:
(Condition: both husband n wife shud b pious n fear/obey ALLAH(SWT))

-they alwys remember ALLAH in evry aspect in evry situation of their life...
-when they face any problem or big trouble in their life they started to remember ALLAH together....
-if one delay or forget another one knock him/her to pray Salat in time...(it happens most in Fazr time)
-even when they hv misunderstanding,conflict between them they try to solve it ASAP for the sake of they knw whts their duty as husband/wife
-they alwys say ALHAMDULILLAH,
-They alwys remember Prophet Muhammad(pbuh)n follow the Quran n Sunnah to solve any problem which arises in their life....
-when one of the partner misbehaves...he/she thn calm down for the sake of ALLAH
-when they cry they remember ALLAH,when they laugh they remember ALLAH,even when they make luv they remember ALLAH....
-They luv they care for each other...for the sake of ALLAH...

very few in all these examples did u see any, which is nt relate to ALLAH(SWT)? this is how our love for ALLAH(SWT) increases more n more,day by day..(:

Little Auntie May 4, 2011 at 5:00 AM  

ma'shaAllah, Tania, that was really a beautiful beautiful reply <3

Anonymous,  June 17, 2011 at 5:46 AM  

umm can i just ask something.... HOW can you marry some one you don't love?
like muslims are not allowed to date so how can i know he is the one ( i know even alot of love marriages don't last ) but still a marriage without love is like pizza without cheese lol
.. this person told me "u can always get a divorce in a muslim arrange marriage" but is it like gna be love..divorce.. love..divorce.. love..divorce.. love..divorce..
..... u get my point...
like i BET my parents don't love each other they r just married... they r just muslims following allah in the hope of going to heaven while ruining the gift of life they have ryt now...
sooo why is LOVE (the most amazing this in the world) haram ?

Little Auntie June 18, 2011 at 2:24 AM  

Anonymous, why don't you try reading our article "I Don't Want to Marry a Stranger". You can find it in our database :)

Love is not haram. Love is a sign and miracle of Allah that He blesses couples with. But it is supposed to be within marriage :)

Check out our previous articles and we'll talk some more :)

Anonymous,  June 21, 2011 at 6:21 AM  

yes but wat if u marry someone without dating
and realize u dont love him...
I am have been reading lots of articles in this website but its all kinda against love,happiness
i am sorry but like i am a muslim, i have bee in love with my soon to be hubby for 12 years.. (YES WE DATED FOR 12 YEARS) and we r getting married after Eid this year ..
but some imam are saying our marriage wont be "right" coz we dated Before ...
i am a partly practicing muslim ..i believe in allah but i don't follow all Muhammad's rules
and i believe in celebrating life .. and MY BOYFRIEND is the biggest part of my life
i just don't see why dating is haraam.. its 2011 come on

Little Auntie June 26, 2011 at 4:12 AM  

Sister, we're not against love, happiness at all. I'm not sure how you understand that. Have you even read our article on 'pursuing happiness'? Have you read our article on "Is Everything Haram?"

Maybe your problem is how you define love and happiness? You think happiness lies only in 'material things'/ brief temporary things like 'music' and this kind of thing? But let me ask you a question, when the music's all done, if that's what makes you happy, what happens? What are you left with?

Sister, nobody said that love is haram. Realize that Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala created us- and He created us with the desire to love and be loved. Prophet Mohammed sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam clearly stated that he ‘loved’ Aisha. He never once shunned this love.

Love is a gift. But we did state that it should be within marriage. In fact, the prophet sallah allahoo Alyhee wa salam explained in a hadith that the best cure for those who love each other is to get married.

Let me ask you a question. What if ..

your boyfriend didn't marry you?

I'm not trying to be rude. I'm seriously asking. I know a sister who 'had a boyfriend' for 5 years. FIVE. They kept talking about how they would get married...but then something happened, and they disagreed...and guess what? He left her. 8 months later he was married to someone else.

How do you think she felt?

Islam wants to protect us. Islam doesn't want us to have broken families or broken hearts...and it has provided us with the way to do it.

You're not supposed to marry 'just any guy'. But you're not supposed to develop or cultivate a relationship outside of marriage.

Again, I'm not sure you did actually read the "I don't want to marry a stranger', but if you did, then you must have seen the great link called "The Stupid Glass Slipper"?

there's a huge difference between 'real love' and 'falling in love'...'lust and love'...Go there and we'll continue our discussion there as this is not related to our discussion here. I know the title might have misled you, but I was referring to Love of Allah and not love of a boyfriend.

Post a Comment

Asalamu aialkum!
Well, what do you think? You know, you're part of the team, as well. Please help a sister out and share your own advice/experiences/etc. One for all and all for one =)
P.S. I reserve the right to remove any disrespectful comment ;)

wibiya widget

  © Blogger template Snowy Winter by 2009

Back to TOP