Love.

assalamualaikum. i love ur blog so much and this blog like come to me on the very right time. okay . this is about a friend of mine. she asked me a year ago

we know that marriage is somethng that we done for allah. we getting married for the sake of allah. to reach his bless.but she ask me'how can we ensure that by getting married, we can increase love to allah. we can increase our iman. how this works? she means that , how by married to someone that we LOVE, we can love allah more' i hope u get it cos im so bad at explaining. but really looking forward for your reply. in my side, i know the answer for her question. but im so lack of knowledge . i couldnt give her a very tiny specific answer that can satisfy her. so please help me... help my friend. help OUR SISTERS. thank you. assalamualaikum.

wa'alykum as salam wa rahmatuallah wa barkatoo,

Dearest Wanting to Help Your Friend,

That’s a very interesting question!

Well, the truth is it begins even before marriage. The reality is that we have been encouraged to choose partners who are pious, who fear and love Allah, and who will help us strengthen our relationship with Allah.

Our Lord, grant us wives and offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes and guide us to be models for the righteous"(Al Furqan: 74)

"A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion(her character-piety-taqwa) . You should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."(Bukhari) 

 If a man whose religion and moral character are pleasing proposes to marry your daughter, then marry her off to him, otherwise there will be great mischief and corruption on earth."

Ideally, if we do that, if we choose someone who tries his or her best to be close to Allah, then this is bound to help our own imaan increase….and ultimately, our love for Allah to increase. You might be wondering “But how does that happen in practical terms?” Well, for one thing each partner could share ayahs, hadiths, lectures, books, and other things that touched them every once in a while… S/he could encourage each other to go to the mosque and so on. They will encourage each other to pray tahajjud, to raise their children to love Allah (which will bring them also to loving Him more), to take care of their parents, etc.

But there’s more.

Your love for Allah should also increase because He is the one who gave you your partner. At the end of the day, Allah is the Creator and the Razaq, and He is the one who willed for you two to be together. And just like any other blessing, you wouldn’t have each other’s love or companionship if He hadn’t willed that. Shouldn’t that make you feel thankful to Allah? And gratitude plays a big part in increasing our love for Allah. The more gratitude you have, the more you realize how Loving, Merciful, Close, Compassionate Allah is and the more that you love Him.

Think about it this way….

If someone were to get you an amazing gift…something you really really wanted….how would you feel about this person? As much as we’d be thrilled with the gift, it’s really the person who gave us the gift that would capture our heart. And to Allah belongs the most exalted examples.

At the same time, as much as you love your partner, it’s only natural that you two are going to face some problems. Let’s be honest….we’re humans and that means we have faults. No one is perfect and that means you are going to face problems and feel a little hurt every once in a while. Your spouse may not notice all that you do for him/her. S/he might offend you with a hurtful word…may not give you credit for something…

Now how should that make you feel closer to Allah? Because at those times, you should realize that no One ever can love you the way that Allah does or can treat you as well as Allah does. And that should make your love grow for Allah. He is the Only One who knows every single thing you do and appreciates it tremendously. He is the Only One who can hears you cry, without the tears even falling. No matter how much your husband does for you, no one can come close to Allah.

Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues with you, [O Muhammad], concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah. And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing. (1) (Surat Al Mujadilah) 

Well, sister, these are my ideas for your friend's question :D What do you guys think?