>> Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I know its important to be good daughter in islam but its hard! Im lazy- i dont mean to be! my mother works hard every day and i keep promising myself that i will help my mother . She goes thru so many pressure bc she works all day long!!! Now she has high blood pressure. she cooks, cleans, washes the clothes. she does everything! I feel guilty and beg forvgiveness from Allah. I admit i dont help my mother with chores bt i have homework to do. And then everyone wants a break rite? so i just go online for a while. but my life is like realy busy! how can i make my mother happy? My mother hates me now. I dont blame her. im almost 16 & idk how to cook, sew, clean. D: my life iz a mess! where do i start ?!??!? helpp!
BTWS i am soo happy that i came across ur blog! its like the best thing thats happened to mee!
-worst daughter in history
And I know that you said that you want to help her but your day already feels done by the time you come home from school and finish your homework….. and all you want is some time for yourself. I know how that feels. I do!
But, let’s stop for a moment and let’s think about our Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam. Can you imagine how busy he was? I mean, he was literally responsible for spreading the deen of Allah to everyone…..and yet, he found the time to help out a bit in the house and let his wives know that he understood how much work they did. If he could do that, and he literally had the weight of the whole Ummah on his shoulders, then you can do it, too! You just need a little time management and planning and you can turn this all around =) Because remember, as tired as you are- you said it yourself….Your mom is equally tired. And let’s be honest…she needs a little help, especially, if she is like my mother and she’s getting a little older. It’s time for her to start getting royal treatment and to feel like she has raised some strong, capable women.
So, I want you to just think about the different chores that need to be done around the house. There are those chores that need to be done each day (washing the dishes, doing the laundry, taking out the trash, cooking lunch and dinner, etc) and then, those that are done once or twice a week (cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting, etc- depending on your family’s views on cleanliness, hehe). And then there are the chores that need to be done every couple of weeks (cleaning the windows- washing the fridge- washing the carpet and curtains, etc). Now can you appreciate how much work your mother has been doing? Not to mention keeping everyone well fed, too, right? Ma’shaAllah.
So, then, what can you do, then?
Well, here are a few aunty suggestions.
Make a little checklist for yourself with simple things you can do daily, such as:
-Do your own bed each day-
-Wash your own dinner plates
-Put your own dirty clothes in the hamper
-Take responsibility for folding and arranging your laundry
-Iron your own clothes
One thing I want to caution you about is getting all hyped up and cleaning the entire house in one day and then just totally losing any interest. That’s not really going to help your mom. Instead, your mom needs your commitment – so instead of going all clean maniac on her, try to focus on making sure you help out a LITTLE each day. Remember the list in point 1.
InshaAllah, all of this is going to put a big smile on your mom’s face. Remind yourself that the more you do it, the faster you’ll get at it, and the less time it will take.
And remind yourself that this can all count as worship. Yup. Just don’t forget to make your intention sincerely to Allah that you want to help your mother. When you do that, inshaAllah, you’ll be getting lots of ajr, inshaAllah.
Oh and sister, don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m not a great cook (in fact, my brother describes my food as either really weird/ just disgusting) and I don’t know how to sew…But you know what? It’s never too late!
A great way to learn how to cook is to hang out a bit with your mom in the kitchen. Just watch what your mom does and don’t be afraid to ask her questions. In fact, this is a great opportunity for you guys to have some daughter-mom time and I’m sure your mom will feel flattered. And then, don’t just stop there- ask your grandma/ aunt/ neighbor/ friend…anytime somebody makes something just delicious, ask away.
Of course, you can always get some cooking books/ sign up for a cooking newsletter. Or how about watching some cooking TV shows?
The same goes for sewing…if your mom knows how, ask her to help you get started. And check online for youtube tutorials…
You can do this, sister. I believe in you.
Looking forward to hearing from our readers about any cooking/ cleaning tips they may know that can help out.
P.S. How about letting ‘online’ come to you while you clean? Nah, I haven’t gone bonkers—I mean, do you like to listen to lectures and stuff? You could listen to them while you clean. The 2 in 1 method :)